When Life Gets Weird

via maxpixel

By Crabby McSlacker

So it looks like it's going to be another summer of Not Blogging Much, which I guess is better than Not Blogging at All.  Because, yeah, life's getting awfully weird and distracting of late. 

But how about I at least make time for a quick update, an epiphany, and a question for y'all?

Sugar Won't Fix It

Guest Post by Jan Bono

(Jan B. is frequent guest contributor here at Cranky Fitness. And don't forget to check out her book! It's “Back from Obesity: My 252-pound Weight-Loss Journey”and you can get it in print or as an ebook on Jan's smashwords page).

On September 11, 2001, at exactly 6:15 a.m. Pacific Daylight Time, I entered a small local convenience store to pick up a cup of coffee on my way to an early morning faculty meeting at the high school.

Several men stood clustered together beneath a wall-mounted television set just inside the door. They were staring up at the screen, open-mouthed. The whole store, usually a hub of activity, was eerily quiet. I could tell by the looks on the men’s faces that something horrible was being projected above their heads. My gut clenched, and I knew I didn’t want to know what it was that had their attention so intently riveted. If I didn’t look, maybe it wouldn’t be real...

September 11, 2001. A day in which we saw, with all too much clarity, the high level of American vulnerability. Our country had been attacked. We had been attacked. None of us would ever feel as safe again as we had when we’d gone to bed the night before.

I stood beside the men in silence. With a growing lump in my throat, nausea welling in my stomach and tears blurring my vision, I gathered some form of small comfort standing there among the delivery truck drivers, the store owner and a few early-rising regular customers. It was not a time to be alone.

Soon, however, I realized I had a job to go to, and tore myself away from the repeated views of the unimaginable destruction on the television screen.

I got my cup of coffee. Then I hesitated in the candy aisle. If the world were truly coming to an end, why not indulge one last time? Couldn’t I at least be “comforted” with the sugar to boost my stamina?

Ask the Nutritionist: Bloating Blues and Other Digestive Dilemmas

Today's question involves bloat and other sorts of stomach and intestinal distress.

Why?  Well, for one, Crabby is one of those people who frequently bloats up like a Thanksgiving Day Parade float. She was eager to hear some expert advice: preferably the sort that doesn't require her to give up any favorite foods or seek out professional help or do anything differently than she's already doing.   A handy capsule, she was hoping, featuring some obscure combination of phytonutrients that would not only to solve the bloating problem, but also melt belly fat, increase energy, build better biceps, and whiten her teeth!

Alas, no such luck. Instead all she got was incredibly informative answer exploring all sorts of possibilities and solutions complete with great resources and a fresh perspective that one rarely hears when discussing tummy trouble.  Damn that Marsha Hudnall.

In addition, I've got a brief digression regarding my last mea culpa blog post, but I won't hold up the proceedings too long before we get to the good stuff.

Vacation! And How Not To F--ck It Up. Hopefully.

Postcard found at: Mademoiselle B

So next week I'm heading off for a vacation to the Big Island of Hawaii with the Lobster and her up-for-anything 86-year old mother.

Whoopee!  There should be lots of opportunity for fun and adventure and relaxation. Hiking! Sight-seeing! Snorkeling! Snoozing! Boozing! Snacking! Reading! Frolicking!

And yet travel being what it is, there will also be plenty of chances for delays, stress, inconvenience, disappointment, compromises, and dumb-ass mistakes.

So, what's it gonna be...An exciting escapade? A tranquil retreat? Or a chance to get as crabby and petulant as a two-year old on an apple-juice-and-oreo high who missed her nap time?

(One of whom will no doubt be behind me on the flight, screaming and kicking the back of my seat, if history is any guide...)

 Yeah, flying sucks, kid. Deal with it.

Photo: wallcoo.net

Well, I may not have control over all the actual events that will transpire, but there are a few things I could keep in mind to make the "happy holiday" scenario a lot more likely.

And of course it's always fun to write an advice post on something you're about to do, so that whole tricky "practice what you preach" notion doesn't even have to enter into it!

So here are some hypothetical tips on How Not to F--ck up Your Vacation.

1. Pack for the Vacation You're Actually Going On


It's very easy to take a look at the pretty and adventurous people on the travel posters and figure you'll need to pack for a lot of dressy outfits for fancy restaurants, hiking boots for the 20 mile treks you're going to do, safari hats and snorkels and binoculars and mountain gear and... wait, did you forget to bring your favorite comfy pair of jeans and enough clean underwear? And where is that special kind of tea you love that would have spared you the stale cheapo hotel offering that tastes like old cigarettes?

Be realistic about what you like to do and have around. If your vacation suddenly transforms you into an entirely different person... that's what charge cards are for.

2. Anticipate Problems and Plan Ahead


Airport shuttles sometimes arrive late; favorite restaurants book up; people get sick; weather changes... leaving extra time, and having a few backup plans in mind can turn a total vacation-spoiling event into a "funny story" you will tell later when you can speak about it at cocktail parties without pulling out your hair or spewing obscenities.

3. But then Stop With the Freakin' Worrying


I've always been really, really talented at anticipating problems. In fact, the mere hint that something could conceivably go wrong (does that taxi driver have alcohol on his breath or is it just his cheap cologne?) can put me on the express train to imagined death and dismemberment faster than you can say "missed the scenic and uneventful drive from the airport."

But thanks to recent self-improvement efforts (which you will be hearing about later in tedious detail, don't worry) I'm actually getting much better about this! If you are a worrier, remind yourself:

• Go ahead and take sensible evasive action if you can avoid problems, but if you can't, worrying isn't going to help.
• Remind yourself of your incredibly crappy track record at predicting actual outcomes when worried. Don't keep going back to the ONE time you knew something bad was going to happen and it did, while conveniently ignoring the 97,312 times you knew something bad was going to happen and it didn't.
• Stop thinking so much about the future, and realize you're perfectly fine right now. Have a snack, give yourself a foot massage, ask your charming and  knowledgeable sweetie a question about something, watch people passing by and critique their outfits, or whatever you can do to enjoy the moment you're in now.
• Deep breaths. Literally, not just metaphorically.  Exhale for longer than you inhale, close your eyes (if you're not driving), give it a few minutes, and let your parasympathetic nervous system kick in and help you relax.  (And yes, some of these tips are thanks to my geek-crush Rick Hanson who is helping me rewire my brain).

4. Adjust Your Expectations

Two common unconscious vacation fantasies: Everything will be different than it is at home! And: Everything will be exactly the same as it is at home!


Neither of these two things will be true. If you are expecting that you will be 1000% happier than you are at home due to a different climate and some new activities to pursue, but don't take into account that you and your companions are all the same people with the same flaws and limitations, and that all people worldwide are capable of carelessness, rudeness, and orneriness, then you may be headed for disappointment. Your temperamental toddler is just as likely to have a code-red nuclear meltdown in Disneyland as he is in the grocery store, and your easily-distracted husband may still tune out half your conversation in an elegant French restaurant the same way he does at the local taco stand.

Also, if you have your own perfect and favorite routines... you may have to let go of them for a while.  Your carefully crafted workouts, healthy meals, comfy mattress, temperature and lighting preferences, expectations about noise, smells, traffic... well, some of these just ain't gonna happen the same way they do at home.

Does it really help you feel better to keep saying to yourself "what's wrong with these people, this shouldn't be this way?" Yet it's such an easy path to go down!  Concentrate instead on enjoying the novelty of fire alarms that go off at 2am, the unplanned experiments in Intermittent Fasting you get to conduct when hotel restaurants close way before their posted hours, and even the lively domestic drama you get to enjoy from the adjacent hotel room that makes reality tv totally unnecessary!

5. Get Flexible and ... yes, meet New People and try New Things

This is the happy flip side of not being able to go on autopilot straight to your favorite daily destinations.  What's different about where you are and how can you take advantage of it?  A little bit of courage may introduce you to fun new people from different cultures with a refreshing perspective, alternative forms of exercise, exotic regional cuisine, art, dances, and other hobbies and activities you'd never think of trying at home.  Then when you return, you may find that some of these have been there too, all along, in some form or another... but you never never thought to seek them out.  The old expression "travel is broadening" is not actually referring to all-you-can-eat buffets.

6. Allow Enough Chill Time


Are you the sort who gets ambitious and plans activities for every second of your holiday, then get home exhausted and need a vacation from your vacation?

Make sure you get some lovely little islands of time where there is Absolutely Nothing You Have to Do. And if you're traveling with others, no matter how companionable they are, make sure you don't have to feel "on" all the time. Get the hell away from everyone else and you may meet the most exotic person of all... the relaxed and happy "you" that you hardly ever get to hang out with.

So, wish me luck! I'll try to post photos or something. But there's no internet in our condo, so if there's a bit of silence over the next week or so, don't be like me and assume the plane must have gone down.

Anyone else have any vacation tips, horrid or wonderful experiences to relate, or thoughts about anything, relevant or not?

Note: Due to a recent onslaught of viagra spam, and my reluctance to use word verification, comments are now closed for this particular post.  But don't go away... most Cranky Fitness posts are still open for comments and they always make me happy! 

Holiday Stress? Five Self-Defeating Habits And How to Break 'em

 

Gosh, Isn't This FUN???

Image: Plan 59

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Something Else, or Nothing At All, it's hard not to be at least somewhat affected by the holiday season.  Reminders are everywhere: flashing at us from giant billboards, piled up in displays in every retail outlet, stalking us around the web, cramming our social calendars, tempting us with treats, turning tender tots into greedy tyrants, and swiping all the good parking places.  What are we supposed to be remembering, honoring, accomplishing, celebrating, desiring, and giving this time of year? No worries, we have centuries of tradition and ubiquitous mass media to shove unrealistic and oppressive ideas down our throats help us decide!

Some folks breeze right through all this with nothing but a sense of delight and gratitude. If you're one of those Happy Holiday Campers, then hooray for you! No doubt you can better use the time you'd spend reading this post to do your usual holiday thing, like knitting rifle cozies for an entire division of troops serving overseas, or custom-baking anatomically correct gingerbread cookies for home-bound elderly amputees, or recreating life-sized Nativity Scenes using recycled toothpicks, aluminum cans and hair-clippings donated by local salons. Whatever it is you've got up your busy sleeves, you clearly have the energy and positive attitude to tackle it, so go forth and be happily productive!

But for the rest of us, I've got some "Do As I Say And Not as I Do!" holiday anti-stress tips.  Plus, as a bonus, there's another related post on the same theme by Aimee Gallo over at Vibrance.  And who is Aimee? She's a woman I recently met... at the gym.  Imagine! What are the chances that two people interested in fitness would both end up there?  As it turns out, she's got a great blog full of health, nutrition, and exercise tips. And after you come back from Aimee's place (and please do, ok, it gets ugly here when I start to sulk and pout), you may want to ask yourself: do any of the following five stress-inducing holiday habits sound a tad familiar?

1. Procrastination

Nah, I'm not talking about strategic procrastination, which is a perfectly sensible strategy for dealing with holidays. If you know that you're more efficient if you wait until the last minute, and if you're not tearing your hair out worrying about how you'll get everything done, then by all means, procrastinate up a storm.

But try to avoid the more common, yet clueless sort of procrastination: allowing the idea of all that shopping and mailing and planning and decorating and cooking to get so big in your mind that it overwhelms you into paralysis.

Do you find yourself struggling to get started on your holiday to-do list while others around you are gleefully shouting "all done!" and plopping their smug asses down on the couch to drink spiked eggnog and watch the Grinch steal Christmas for the 87th time?  Wouldn't it be cool to feel as guilt-free and chipper as a Who down in Who-ville for the holiday season, just this once for a nice change of pace?

Well, no brilliant new insights here, because two tried and true bits of anti-procrastination advice are way better than anything I could come up with.

1. Start early and break tasks down into baby steps. Don't worry so much about the big picture, just spend a few minutes here or there you might use checking Facebook updates to start a brainstorming list about gift ideas or menu ideas. Or go browse one nearby store on your lunch hour (if such a thing still exists), or spend a few minutes online with a particular recipient in mind. Make a trip to the basement or attic this evening to find the dusty boxes where the decorations hide. You get the idea. Make the steps small enough not to be scary, and congratulate yourself for everything you cross off the list earlier than you would have last year.

2. Confront perfectionism. The root of procrastination is often not laziness, but fear of making mistakes or coming up short.  Oddly enough though, anxiously waiting until the last minute to tackle holiday preparations--when lines are long, stores are sold out of popular items, flights are booked, friends have made other plans, etc--does not make Holiday Perfection easier to obtain.  Jump in, do your best, and keep in mind that believing you can create the Perfect Holiday is about as helpful as believing Santa Claus is gonna fork over for all your presents squoosh himself down your chimney.  Good luck with either approach to the holidays.

2. High Expectations

These are no problem if every year you have a heartwarming and joyous holiday. If your life is a Normal Rockwell painting, then heck, eat a big slice of apple pie, enjoy your hilarious and kind-hearted relatives, and be sure to laugh together over the zany antics of Fluffy the cat and Rex the dog, neither of whom have ever have fleas, furballs or flatulence!

But is your life a nonstop joyride?  If not, sometimes those lovely shiny expectations of what we should be doing for others, what others should be doing for us, how cheerful we should feel, how our families should behave, how clean and beautiful our homes should be, how bosses should schedule shifts over the holidays... all these “shoulds” we carry with us can lead to hair-pulling anxiety or bitter disappointment. And yet it’s so hard to let go! Even if Uncle Larry has gotten drunk off his ass six out of the last seven family gatherings and proceeded to knock over knickknacks, insult your daughter’s Asian boyfriend, and crack dirty jokes in front of the kids, we still feel we should invite him because damn it, he’s family, and double-damn it, he should know how to behave by now.

The answer to overly high expectations is both easy to figure out, and really freakin' hard to do:

Explore, challenge, and let go of some of the “shoulds” that aren’t working for you. Should you always be the one to host a holiday dinner every year because you are uniquely qualified by being born with XX instead of XY chromosomes? Do you spend weeks coming up with thoughtful and surprising gifts for unimaginative relatives who always buy you socks, hurting your feelings every year? Do you cruise into malls during the busiest shopping days of the year and feel personally outraged when lines are long and overworked sales clerks are gruff because shopping should be a pleasant experience?

Maybe this year, challenge just one of your stress-inducing expectations. Aim low, expect random sucky stuff to happen, and enjoy those precious moments when nothing's going wrong!

3.Lack of Boundaries

There are lot of extra demands during the holidays, some reasonable, some ludicrous, and some fine in theory but horrific in practice. One of the first obstacles you may run into after successfully Lowering Your Expectations of Yourself (#2) will be dealing with the rest of the world, which may not be in full agreement with your shiny new anti-stress agenda. So, do you get to choose your own priorities?  Or are you going to feel obliged to appease the people who are the most obnoxious, entitled, overly sensitive or persistent and then pay for it with your sanity?

To keep yourself from going nuts and honor your own priorities, it helps to get familiar with the word “No.” Or, more politely, “No thank you, I really can’t this year, but thanks so much for thinking of me!” To be repeated over and over over, without further explanation, as often times as necessary.

However, lots of folks think this sounds like a great idea and yet can’t for the life of them make themselves say something like that out loud to another human.

So what are the next best options for declining demands if unapologetically honest refusal isn't your style?

1. Hedge.  Don't let yourself get caught by a surprise request.  Make it a rule to never to commit to something unless you're absolutely sure you have the time and desire to do it.  Try to leave yourself an out. “Sounds great, but I'm not sure if I'm free.  I need to double-check with my husband/babysitter/boss/voodoo priestess, and then I'll get back to you!"  Then give yourself a chance to really think through if you want to or not.

2. Lie! Yeah, sure, honesty is a better bet from a karma perspective, but hell, I say if it’s white lie that saves you from chasing random strangers down the street with a cleaver in your hand from a bad case of Post Traumatic Holiday Stress syndrome, it’s a white lie worth telling. Invent conflicting social events, illness, injuries, work crises, alien abduction, obscure religious injunctions, strange voices whispering to you in the night… whatever it takes to you the space and time you need to survive the holidays in relatively good spirits.

4. Rationalization

One thing that’s awesome about holidays is that they give us permission to relax our usual sensible rules about working, eating, drinking, spending, flirting, sleeping late, exercising etc. Have some champagne! Have second helpings for dinner! Stay up until 3am! Buy that big screen tv for your family you’ve been wanting for so long!

However, there’s a big difference between a “special occasion” and an “alternate reality.”

If your holiday season extends nonstop from pre-halloween Snickers stockpiling to post New Years Day football festival leftovers, you're probably going to want to inject some common sense into the process. Either that or alter the laws of physiology, psychology, economics and physics. Even if you tell yourself you’re “celebrating,” isn’t it hard to feel truly joyous knowing you’re piling up guilt, regret, debt, organ damage, low-self esteem and excess poundage?

So whats the answer? Again, easier said than done: 

Moderation and Damage Control!  Insisting on perfection is party-poopy and pointless, but so is throwing a holiday “on/off” switch and pretending normal rules don’t apply. Remember all the stuff you normally do to exert self control? Don’t toss it all out the window.  Have a "night off," then get back to your normal routine the next day.  You'll feel better, and will enjoy the next "night off" more than if you make the holidays one continuous excuse to indulge.

Also, think about adding as many positive healthy things you can to the mix: get more exercise, vegetables, meditation, water, tea, nature, music, hot baths, laughter… and then you’ll feel slightly less like snarfing up every single evil temptation that the holiday season offers up.

5. Commercialization

We’re besieged daily during this time of year with messages equating love, happiness, excitement, loyalty, gratitude, confidence, intelligence, excitement… with the crap we buy. Seriously, we can’t think of other ways to show affection besides extravagant presents? Do we really measure self esteem by the number of karats in a diamond earring or the vintage of the wine we pour at a holiday dinner?

Many folks get so caught up in the material aspects of the holiday that they feel financially stressed, inadequate, grouchy, or martyred.

This year, is it going to be different? Let’s Occupy Santa’s Toyshop! Tell that tedious old fart to send the poor elves home early, go easy on all the Christmas list promises, and let the rest of us spend more time enjoying friends and family and less time shopping for them.

Make sure to build in a little time for yourself, too--do something restorative to take down your stress levels so that you can be present and appreciative with Loved Ones.  Sadly, you don't get nearly as much "credit" for getting together with relatives at holidays if you spend the whole time snapping at them or feeling put-upon and resentful.

Another holiday tradition to consider is the notion of  giving to those less fortunate. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen, or help round up presents for underprivileged kids, or even stop in and drop off some cookies to that annoying but lonely old lady next door who lets her poodle poop on your lawn. She may not even thank you for it, but you’ll feel better. (At least until the next time you find dog shit on your shoe).

A Few Random Stress Resources

Mayo Clinic has another round up of ways to prevent holiday stress.

Kaiser Permanente has some free guided visualization downloads and doesn’t seem to lock out nonmembers. There are also free guided mediation downloads at Fragrant Heart.

And of course I have to mention my favorite anti-stress geek/guru/role-model Rick Hanson, who has a free newsletter, as well as anti-stress books, CD's and other resources. Oh, and I can't leave out Sounds True, the company that let me take Rick's course for free--they also have a bunch of free meditation downloads.

So does anyone else get stressed during the holidays? Got any tips or horror stories?

Relaxation: Will Someone Please Put A Gun to My Head?

Photo: h.koppdelaney

There are many components of healthy living: eating right, exercising, refraining from smoking, keeping up with medical appointments, and not doing dumb-ass things like driving 100 miles per hour or sprinting across the street in front of oncoming tanker trucks.

But there's another healthy habit that's easy to forget: stress management. Stress sucks, and chronic stress can seriously mess up your health--not to mention give you excess belly fat, destroy your sleep, and generally make you a crotchety, over-sensitive pain in the ass. Chronic stress can raise blood pressure, contribute to digestive problems, negatively affect your immune system, and do a whole bunch of other bad things I can't remember off the top of my head.

There are many different methods to fight the effects of stress. These include exercise (which you're already doing, right?), psychiatric medications, psychotherapy, biofeedback, cognitive-behavioral self-help programs, massage, and bonking random strangers on the head with foam baseball bats. (Well, that last one isn't commonly recommended but it sure sounds like a good idea, doesn't it?).

But one of the simplest things you can do is... relax! Studies have shown taking a few minutes to meditate or do other forms of relaxation can have tremendous health benefits. There are lots of ways to approach it, like: mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, focusing on breath, self-hypnosis, yoga, chanting, drumming, singing, prayer, and guided visualization. Any activity that helps you focus your attention, relax your muscles, slow and deepen your breathing, and activate your parasympathetic nervous system will do the trick.

So am I the only one who knows that relaxation exercises are good for me, yet can not seem to make myself do them?

I bet I'm not. Seems like lots of people who will spend hours training for a marathon or cooking a nutritious meals somehow can't imagine taking 20 precious minutes out of the day to repeat a mantra, visualize a pleasant walk by the seashore, or focus on their breathing. And no amount of research about the awesome physical and mental benefits this brings seems to change this resistance.

Here's my theory: practicing intentional, conscious, therapeutic relaxation does not feel miserable enough to count in our minds as a chore or an achievement. It just feels wrong to many people to take half an hour, or even 2-3 minutes, out of a busy day to go off and be quiet unless all the other more unpleasant chores have been taken care of first. And how often are all your unpleasant chores ever finished?

Yet for most people, meditation or relaxation exercises are not "fun" enough to count as entertainment, especially not at first. In a battle for precious spare leisure time, a favorite tv show or new novel by your favorite author is going to seem a more compelling choice than sitting cross-legged and chanting "om."

Part of the reason I'm writing this post is that I've decided that it's about goddamn time I started doing some of this relaxation stuff myself again. I already follow pretty much every other healthy lifestyle recommendation, and being naturally wired as a neurotic stress-bucket, this one I really should remember to take seriously.

Years ago I dabbled in meditation, self-hypnosis, and guided visualization, etc. (As a psychotherapist, I even used to hypnotize people too; it's pretty cool.) But then I got too lazy and stopped making time for it.

Here are some things I learned:

(1) The kind of meditation that is most frequently suggested, where you repeat a mantra over and over? It works great for lots of people, but I suck at it, even with lots of practice. Everyone is different, yet many authorities still push mantra meditation as "the" kind of meditation. Phooey to that.

(2) The most helpful resource I found to get started was buying a book with all kinds of relaxation, visualization, and meditation examples. (Of course I can't find the book anymore or remember the title. But there are plenty out there.) Another thing I found helpful was to spring for a few guided meditation or visualization cd's. (There are also free or cheap mp3's and podcasts on the web; just google!).

(3) Once you learn to relax deeply, with practice you can cue yourself to get to at least a semi-relaxed state much more quickly than you did before. But I've also discovered that if you stop practicing, you can lose this ability again.

(4) The more time you spend focusing your conscious attention, the more you start to notice cool stuff around you that you didn't notice before.

(5) Deep trance states can be very pleasurable! However, it was hard for me to get really deep without a live hypnotist (expensive) or a fairly new guided imagery cd that I hadn't heard dozens of times. But I never had much luck getting myself to do anything differently by listening to helpful suggestions under hypnosis. My unconscious mind is apparently just as resistant to gentle nagging as my conscious mind is. But hypnosis still did a great job of getting me relaxed in the moment, even if it didn't miraculously get rid of any bad habits or change me from a slacker to a go-getter.

(6) As an alternative to visualizations, I found that focusing awareness on things that were beautiful or pleasurable in my environment worked much better for me than repeating words or paying attention to my breath. Looking at colors in the garden, watching a fire in the fireplace, walking on a scenic trail, or eating a meal slowly and focusing on all the sights, smells, and sensations involved--these I found more engrossing and they all "count" as meditating. The important thing is to just keep patiently returning your attention back from wandering thoughts to the thing you've decided to focus on. (Without getting all impatient and bitchy with yourself. If you're normal, your mind will wander a lot. Don't worry about it.)

Now here's where a more conscientious blogger would carefully explain all the many relaxation/ meditation options and tell you how to get started. Um, sorry! I ain't that blogger (at least not anymore).

But here are a few links and resources:

Mayo Clinic has a basic article about meditation and its health benefits, as does Web MD.

There are some basics of Buddhist meditation at How To Meditate, including instructional videos.

Also, Rejuvenation Lounge discusses walking meditation, and there are three quick meditation techniques for busy folks over at Quips and Tips for Spiritual Seekers.

Oh, and our pal POD at Thufferin' Thuccotash shares some of her experiences with meditation, and over at Spirited Women there's a discussion of the benefits of using meditation and other stress-management exercises with kids and teens.

What about you folks: do you practice meditation, visualization or other relaxation techniques?

Can Stress Be Good For You?

Photo: Kelvin255

According to an article in Newsweek, stress has a undeservedly bad reputation.

I saw the magazine cover: "Stress Could Save Your Life (Or at Least it's Better for You Than You Think") and thought: awesome! But I also wondered: Really, can that be right?

If true, this would be great news. I've read dozens, if not hundreds, of studies over the years saying just how bad chronic stress is for your health. (These studies are of course stressful to read. "Wait, I'll get Alzheimer's, heart disease, and Parkinsons if I don't stop worrying about Alzheimer's, heart disease, and Parkinsons??!!").

But I found myself skeptical. How could something that's generally recognized as bad for you all of a sudden be good? It's like reading we should be eating a lot more cheeseburgers and ice cream, and a lot fewer vegetables. Welcome news, perhaps, but is really OK to stop stressing about stress?

By the end of the article, I still wasn't quite sure. There seems to be growing recognition that certain kinds of stress aren't bad at all--in certain situations, for certain people. But the kind of stress that most of us worry about--the nagging, chronic, "how are we gonna pay the bills" kind--didn't exactly get the "all clear" I'd hoped for.


Trying to Put Common Sense Back into the Conversation:

The main theme of the article seems to be that stress researchers have been so focused on the negative impact of stress, they've led us to believe that stress can never be positive.

Which is silly! It's not always negative. For example, have you ever made it successfully through an oral exam, a Big Game, a music recital, a job interview, or some other situation you were scared to death of? I don't have any handy studies to cite, but surely the sense of exhilaration and accomplishment after a dreaded event must be good for us? It's so motivating and rewarding!

Yet according to the author, she kept running into researcher after researcher who claimed "good stress" didn't exist. "We never tell people stress is good for them," one said. "Another allowed that it might be, but only in small ways, in the short term, in rats." As to people who claim to thrive on stress, like some policemen or ER docs or air-traffic controllers? The author talked to experts who said these people were "pathological."

Fortunately, she eventually found a few experts with more sensible sentiments. Like: "some stress is healthy and necessary to keep us alert and occupied." Or, "most people do their best under mild to moderate stress."

Other pro-stress opinions quoted in the article: "The stress response...evolved to help us survive... In the short term, it can energize us, revving up our systems to handle what we have to handle."

"In the long term, stress can motivate us to do better at jobs we care about. A little of it can prepare us for a lot later on, making us more resilient. Even when it's extreme, stress may have some positive effects—which is why, in addition to posttraumatic stress disorder, some psychologists are starting to define a phenomenon called posttraumatic growth."

OK, I'll buy that. And the "posttraumatic growth" idea sounds interesting. Because we all know of folks who have been transformed in positive ways by really awful experiences. But what about the bad kind of stress we always hear about?


Acute vs Chronic Stress

While acute stress and the "fight or flight" response may be handy in the short term, problems can arise when we can't shut it off. At some point, "neurons get tired of being primed, and positive effects become negative ones...Neurons shrivel and stop communicating with each other, and brain tissue shrinks in the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex, which play roles in learning, memory and rational thought."

Whoops, that doesn't sound good!

But another Newsweek article in the same issue argued that the relationship between stress and disease has been over-sold. The author claimed that while stress can worsen the symptoms of any disease, it is seldom the sole explanation for a patient's suffering. But then a related link to WebMD reminds us that chronic worrying can lead to a whole bunch of health problems, like suppression of the immune system, digestive disorders, muscle tension, short-term memory loss, premature coronary artery disease, and even heart attacks.

Again, not quite the reassurance I was hoping for.


Tough Childhoods, Zen Monkeys, and Special Forces

One important point the article made was that research has done a lousy job of recognizing how much individual difference there is in how people handle stress. Some people are easily overwhelmed; others are much more resilient. Which kind are you?

For example, research on laid-off telephone workers in the 1970s and 1980's found that while most of the workers suffered with higher rates of divorce, heart attacks, obesity and strokes--a third of the workers handled the transition well. Why? Well, many of them had "fairly tough childhoods that led to their being very hardy people." So early stress can sometimes lead to greater resilience later in life.

Similarly, a baboon researcher (wait... I mean a guy who studies baboons, not a baboon who conducts research) found that some alpha males who were subject to the usual baboon stressors—"power struggles, unsuccessful sexual overtures, the occasional need to slap down a subordinate" had stable hormone levels, unlike like other more Stressed Out alphas. These baboons were essentially "minimalist Zen masters." (Alas, none of them are leading any self-help seminars that I know of, so don't get your hopes up about learning Baboon Zen Management techniques any time soon).

The most fascinating example of individual differences? Check out how the military goes about testing and training soldiers for highly dangerous missions. (It totally freaked me out. Note to self: do not join the military and sign up for Dangerous Assignments!!) Anyway, they discovered that elite Special Forces soldiers had different physiological reactions to extremely stressful situations than the regular army guys, and thus performed much better. Apparently they released more of a brain chemical, NPY, which works as a natural tranquilizer.

But the weirdest part? One of the predictors of who would do best under extreme stress (and release more NPY) was heart rate variability. The best survivors didn't have much of it; they had "metronomic heartbeats." However, while it may make you a Superhero under extreme stress, the downside of this metronomic effect? It's "usually associated with early heart disease and even sudden death." Healthy people generally have more heartrate variability.

So for us wimpy folks who panic under stress? Perhaps we shouldn't be too envious of the Superhero types after all!


How Do You Folks Cope With Stress?

From everything I've read, it sounds like meditation is one of the best weapons in the battle against chronic stress--but as I've mentioned before, I suck at it. So I tend to pursue other options: exercise, deep breathing, relaxing music, and "cognitive" interventions. And by "cognitive interventions," I mean trying to think more like a rational person and less like a lunatic when it comes to things that worry me.

How about you guys? Feeling any extra stress these days, and if so, how do you cope? Can you turn it into a positive, rather than a negative in your life?

Crankypants Meets Tibetan Bowl

Photo credit

Some folks are adventurous optimists. They assume that all new experiences will be fun. Ask one of these folks: "Hey, optimist, wanna go Naked Ice Fishing in the Antarctic?" Chances are they'll say "Sure, count me in!" And even if they go naked ice fishing, catch nothing but a bad cold and even lose a few extremities to frostbite in the process, you can still ask them next time: "Hey optimist, want to go sunbathing in the Sahara?" And their answer will be: "Sure, count me in!"

And then there are their opposites. I am one of these creatures. You can call us "party poopers," or just say we're "cautious." We are picky about how we spend our time. We assume that most new things outside of the tried-and-true will NOT be fun. Our default answer to most new activities is "no thanks!"

Before you say "how terrible! That's so limiting!" keep in mind that our ability to say "no thanks" is often hard-won. Most of us crankypants cautious types have been talked into outings and parties and performances for decades and we've been assured we will LOVE them. And then we go, only find ourselves bored, anxious, disappointed, or annoyed. We've learned to trust our own instincts and ignore the enthusiastic promises of the adventurous optimists. Don't get me wrong: we Party Poopers still have plenty of fun; we're just way more selective about how we have it.

All this is to say that while in San Diego, Crabby McSlacker, queen of the Crankypants Party Poopers, got talked into a "Sound Energy Healing" session involving the playing of Tibetan singing bowls (and bells and gongs and other exotic objects).

How did this happen? Well, it was one of those situations where despite some skepticism I couldn't really decline unless I wanted to be a total... what's the female equivalent of a prick, anyway? So the Cautious Crab went off with the Lobster to a sound healing session, generously offered by a friend's mother who happens to be a certified Tibetan bowl practitioner (and a very cool person).


So what does a Tibetan Singing Bowl Sound Healing session entail, and does research say it's effective or is it just a whole lot of hooey?

The Science of Sound

Actually, there does seem to research backing the notion that various kinds of sound, music and rhythms can have healing powers. According to oncologist, Mitchell Gaynor, "We know that music is capable of enhancing immune function, lowering heart rate, lowering stress-related hormones like cortisol that raise our blood pressure and depress our immune systems." Other research suggests that music "trims complications after heart attack, calms anxiety, slows breathing and increases production of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers."

Gaynor is a big proponent of using Tibetan bowls to help cancer patients, but says that there is more going on than just the effects of relaxation. He implies that there is something special about these bowls that taps into spiritual energy that can help cancer patients heal.

Furthermore, in a sound healing article in the New York Times, one practitioner explained: "When the body is sick - it could be a cold, a broken bone, an ulcer, a tumor, or an emotional or mental illness - it's all a matter of the frequencies of the body being out of tune, off balance, out of synch. Vibration can help bring that back into balance."

Er... maybe. I'm frankly skeptical about the whole vibrational balance explanation. I think that there is so much evidence about the beneficial effects of stress reduction, meditation, and even placebo power that we don't even need to go there. But hey, if people believe that the sound vibrations are going into their bodies and messing with their cells in positive ways and resetting their frequencies or whatever, I think that's a good thing, whether it's true or not!


What is a Tibetan Bowl Sound Session Like?

It's pretty cool.

We went into a room that had dozens of Tibetan bowls of all sizes as well as some bells and who knows what else. (If I were a proper reporter instead of a lazy blogger, I probably would have thought to ask what all the stuff was). Tibetan bowls can be struck or rubbed, and they have a very rich sound with lots of overtones. Apparently they are tuned to the frequency of "aum." In more technical terms, they sound pretty.

As instructed, we removed our shoes, lay down on a comfortable mat, were covered by a blanket, and were given nice little eye pillow thingies. This triggered pleasant massage associations and was a nice surprise.

Then I start to forget the order of things. Did our host make the trance-inducing suggestions about letting go and ripples and ponds and hearts blossoming open and such before she put the bowls on our chests and bellies? Or did the cool bell tones and chimes start first and then the suggestions and then the belly bowls?

Anyway, I do at least remember that the sounds the bowls made being struck and rubbed all around us (and on us) were VERY soothing. The tones were rich and warm and layered and luxurious. Because I could feel the vibrations, the sounds seemed to worm their way into deeper places in my head and body than regular music normally goes.

By the end, I was so relaxed I could barely speak.

I didn't go in with any specific medical issues to deal with, so I can't attest to the pain-relieving, disease-fighting properties of Tibetan bowls, but I can say that they are pretty wonderful things to be around. As someone who sucks at meditation, I am always looking for ways to turn down the mental chitter chatter a few notches. (Which is not to say that the yapping in my brain went away entirely, but at least it was contented, meandering, quieter yapping).

Anyway, the Crankypants Crab will continue to defend to her dying day the practice of saying "no thanks!" to new experiences. But, um... sometimes new experiences actually turn out to be awesome. (Thanks Diáne!)


(For more information on Tibetan bowls, Tibetan bowl music cd's, or attending sound healing concerts or presentations, check out Diáne Mandle's Sound Energy Healing site.)

Anyone else try something new that you didn't think you'd like? Were you right or were you wrong?

Pets can cause high blood pressure!

John Singleton Copley, Young Lady with a bird and a dog

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a good home must be in want of a pet.

The universe is rife with studies about how owning a pet can improve your health, broaden your social life, and cure your warts. (Would you believe two out of three?)

Don't trust everything you read. I mean, you get a dog and at first it's all fun and excitement. The dog wants to go everywhere with you: frolicking, playing, enjoying life because you're in the same room.

This behavior is insidious, if that's the word I want. You get sucked into the easy path of being a pet owner.

And then the pet gets older, still loves your company but she's moving a bit slower. And the vet says the tumor "might not be benign, so we need to operate. Here's the estimate, about $250. It's just a little problem we need to take care of, just to be safe."

What are you going to do? The dog can't tell you where it hurts. Unlike a child, the dog doesn't usually cry when something's wrong. (Especially at the vet's. To a dog, it's important to look healthy when at the vet's, even if you collapse afterward. Never show weakness in front of someone who could take you away from your pack.)

So you sign here and initial there and cross your fingers.

And then you get your dog back, with a bill that's only $800 more than the estimate, please pay in full.

Sheesh!

I'm told that pet insurance has been around in America for almost 30 years, but I've only heard of it recently. (Hey, some things take awhile to filter down to me.) Some pet insurance policies cover the following:
- vehicle damage, if the dog causes the accident
- boarding fees, if the owner is in an accident and there's no one to care for the dog
- recovery costs (rewards or posters), if a dog is lost

Somehow, I doubt they would insure my aged dog. I do like the idea of an insurance policy designed to avoid 'economic euthanasia,' but then I'm a pet owner. Does this idea sound crazy to non-pet owners?

And would my insurance company pay for high blood pressure medication if I told them it was caused by a sick dog?

The Lazy Woman's Guide to a Healthy Diet

[By Merry]

A lot of people think eating right is a good idea. At least in theory.

Me: More vegetables, fewer cupcakes.
Them: Yeah, good idea.
Me: So, do you eat right?
Them: Hell no.

Why don't people eat food that's good for them?
I took an informal poll, i.e. stopped people in the hall at work. Typical comments ran something like this:

• "Sure, I know I should eat veggies, but I don't have time to cook -- there's too much else to do."
• "Yeah, I feel guilty about eating those danish pastries, but I was running late this morning and didn't have time for breakfast."
• "What? I can't talk now; I'm late for a meeting. Don't you have some work to do?" [Note to self: for future reference, do not ask the boss to participate in an unofficial survey.]

People tend to eat junk food because it takes too much time to prepare something healthy. But does it have to take all that long?

Healthy Food for the Chronically Lazy

I have some suggestions for lazy people. Or at least for people who are short of time. I wouldn't recommend these ideas as a long-term solution, but there are ways to grab quick healthy food that you can munch while you are driving or sitting at your desk.

Kathryn, over at Limes & Lycopene, is running a series called 31 days to a Better Diet. The other day she mentioned one essential principle: make it a point to eat vegetables. Specifically, she says try to eat a vegetable with every meal. That's my goal.

By the way, I don't care what the gubbermint says. Ketchup is not a vegetable. Yes, it contains tomatoes, but it also contains enough high fructose corn syrup to choke a moderate- sized German Shepherd Dog. (In theory, anyway. This statement has not been tested. Cranky Fitness has a firm policy against animal testing, unless the test is multiple choice.)


When I first saw pre-cut vegetables, I scoffed. "What, are they going to chew the food for me as well?" But that was when I was young and stupid so healthy that I could live on fast food while pretending to study during the day, and going out on the town in the evening. I figured I could always cut my own vegetables for myself if I had to eat the dang things. Now, when it's crunch time at work I'm counting every minute. My best friends are baby carrots. (Yes, I do need to get a life, why do you ask?)

Anything that helps me to eat healthy food without taking much time is welcome. Or, I've been known to take a whole cucumber and a sharp paring knife to work with me. (Note: don't do this if you work around paranoid bosses, psychotic co-workers, or toddlers.) Any veggie that I can cut down to size while staying virtuously at my desk is a good idea.

Also, soup. Unlike most fast foods, you can generally find some kind of soup that contains more vegetables than meat.

It's easy. Speaking as the Queen of the Lazy Women, I love easy.

And if you need something more substantial but don't have the time to cook, there's always the pre-packaged healthy stuff like Amy's Kitchen. I hate the idea of frozen dinners, but even so there are nights when I come home too tired to cook any damn thing, or even to chop any damn thing. Nights like that, Amy's my bud.

Lastly, if all else fails, there's... Enrique.

Okay, so Enrique might not be his real name...

As a last resort, you could hire a hunk in trunks to stand behind your chair at work and feed you peeled grapes. Very healthy, peeled grapes. Or at least that's my story.

You can eat healthy food even if you're rushed off your feet.

These suggestions are really nothing but a short-term fix, and it's really not so much for lazy people as it is for people who are strapped for time. But even as a quick fix, it's good because if you've been living in the fast-food lane for awhile, just eating healthy damn green leafy things, even if they come pre-chopped, is going to accustom your body to eating healthy food. Which is a good thing.

The lazy way to a healthy diet isn't cheap. You know how they say you can have it fast or cheap or good? You can eat fast food or healthy vegetables. You can't have it all at the same time. And I hear Enrique's raising his rates.

Hypnosis CD Give-Away

[By Crabby]

(Stare at the center... C'mon, we dare ya!)
(Flickr photo credit)

So, you wanna get hypnotized?

We've got another Friday give-away, and this one's pretty cool: your choice of one of 3 hypnosis CD's by the folks at Performance Hypnosis.

(And we swear none of these CD's will have you squawking like a chicken or going all homicidal at the sight of the Queen of Diamonds. This is the good kind of hypnosis).

But before we get into the specifics...

Have you ever been hypnotized, either by a live person or an audio recording? Some people fear it, and others scoff, and still others remain entirely unaffected--but for the majority of folks it can be quite a positive experience.

This being a Lazy Friday, I'm not going to dig up all the research to convince you of the benefits of hypnosis. Even staid mainstream medical authorities pretty much agree it can be useful, depending on the person and the situation.

It's basically just a state of relaxed, focussed attention in which you find yourself less critical and more open to suggestion.

Of course, my being a skeptical, controlling, untrusting, argumentative, anxious, uptight person--you might think that I would be the last person on earth who would be a hypnosis fan. But you'd be wrong! Even I think it's pretty cool. (Further disclosure: back when I was a psychotherapist, I even learned to hypnotize clients myself--I was always totally shocked when it actually worked.)

However, it is true that I'm not very suggestible. I fooled around with it a LOT a number of years ago--and personally, I never had much luck "fixing" things, like bad habits or irrational fears. But for those who are naturally more open and less stubborn? Results really can be impressive. And I did have some really nifty trance experiences. Plus it worked really well for stress reduction and general relaxation.

Hmm, this post is making me want to drag out some of my old self-hypnosis CD's... perhaps I'm more suggestible than I thought?

So enough of that: lets talk about the Free CD.

Alas, the CD can only be won by residents of the United States or Canada, sorry. (But at least we squeezed the Canadians in this time.)

Here are the choices:

Eliminating Insomnia

Stress Relief

Weight Loss Motivation

(I just love the "stress relief" photo, don't you?)

If you'd like a shot at winning one, just leave a comment letting us know which one you'd like. A random number generator will pick a winner by Tuesday night July 15th, Eastern Standard Time and the results will be announced sometime the next day. The winner needs to check in by midnight on Thursday the 17th to claim the prize.

And if you're not wanting a CD? Please tell us what you think of hypnosis just for the heck of it!

UPDATE: We now have a winner, but please try again Friday July 18th for our next give-away.

Vacation, Who Needs It?

[Posted by Crabby]

Photo: art.com

Having just gotten back from a brief New England excursion (which was quite fun but left me feeling very guilty for abandoning the internet for a few days) I got to thinking about vacations generally. I'm a McSlacker so I take way more than my fair share--but I can see I'm going to have to step it up even more to bring up the national average.

Because a vacation poll from a couple of months ago said that fewer Americans than ever are planning to take summer vacations in 2008--only a third!

The New York Times was talking about the depressing phenomenon of "shrinking vacation syndrome" a couple of years ago. A typical quote, by a AAA spokesman: "The idea of somebody going away for two weeks is really becoming a thing of the past. It’s kind of sad, really, that people can’t seem to leave their jobs anymore."

Another vacation survey from a year ago found that a more than half of the employees polled did not use all of their vacation.

There seem to be two issues here: the inability to take much time off work, and the expense and difficulty of traveling anywhere when such precious time is actually secured. We'll just mix these two entirely different problems together because it's easier to pretend it's all one issue. But anyway, the net result is:

Hardly anyone seems to be able to "get away from it all" anymore.

It is the official position of Cranky Fitness that This Is Just Wrong! (And not only because we were just pimping reviewing a book about vacation destinations in order to get a free copy introduce you to a valuable resource).

This "shrinking vacation" thing sucks for many reasons, but one of them is actually related to the supposed topic of this blog:

It is apparently unhealthy not to take vacations!

For example, researchers looking at the Framingham heart study data found that women who took a vacation every six years or less were almost eight times more likely to develop heart problems than those who took at least two vacations a year. (And they controlled for other factors like obesity, diabetes, smoking and income). And another study of men at high risk for heart disease also found that those who failed to take annual vacations were more likely to die of a heart attack.

So quick, go to your boss and demand that you be released immediately! If your boss says no, simply lie down on the floor and have a heart attack. That'll show 'em.

Or maybe not. Time spent away from work but hooked up to machines in the Intensive Care Unit might not be quite as relaxing as a week at the beach.

But even if you can manage to take a vacation without threatening cardiac arrest, it may not even help you recuperate if you don't take the right kind.

A survey of managers found that a quarter of them returned from vacation more stressed than when they left, with a third having spent at least part of their break checking in with the office, often every day. And according to Dov Eden, an organizational psychologist who has studied the issue, "those who are electronically hooked up to their office, even if they are lying on the Riviera, are less likely to receive the real benefits of a vacation and more likely to burn out."

Another earlier study looked at "health-related vacation outcome." Despite the dry language, the conclusions were kinda interesting:

"Recuperation" was facilitated by:

• Free time for one's self;
• Warmer (and sunnier) vacation locations;
• Exercise during vacation;
• Good sleep; and
• Making new acquaintances

Exhaustion was increased by:

• Vacation-related health problems, and
• A greater time-zone difference to home.

The only tips I have for less stressful vacations are either pretty obvious or possibly not too practical. But what the hell:

1. Don't go somewhere to impress others; go somewhere you're excited about. It could be camping in your local park or something more exotic. But the further away it is, the more time you need to allow to enjoy it without stress. Those "if it's Tuesday it must be Belgium" vacations are seldom relaxing.
2. And along those lines, don't schedule every single minute with activities. Chill, dude.
3. Don't have kids. Or if it's too late for that, figure out how to get at least some time away from them.
4. Do lots of fun vacation-related exercise--hiking, swimming, biking etc, but leave your ambitious workout plans at home.
5. Ditch your loved ones. Don't feel like you and your spouse/friend/family have to do the same thing all the time--constant compromise can be frustrating. If Beloved Husband wants to tour the dusty old Train Museum or spend all day on a boat drinking beer "fishing," and you'd rather shop the boutiques, split up for God's sake. You can catch up at dinner.
6. Find a tour group. On the other hand, are you single and can't round up a friend with the same schedule or interests? Don't let that keep you at home. Tours have gotten a lot less "touristy" these days and are no longer just for the blue-hair set. The internet is your friend--here's one random company, but a few minutes with google will turn up lots of options.
   
7. If you can't stay off your office email, stay somewhere without internet access. Even if it means (sniff) no Cranky Fitness for the duration.
   
8. Get some sleep. Arrange to have any noisy or obnoxious hotel neighbors arrested or intimidated by local thugs. Failing that, at least complain to hotel management with the hopes that they may do something about it or get you another room.
9. Come back home a day or two early. Don't wait until the last minute before you have to go back to work. Nothing will erase a relaxing vacation faster than stack of unopened mail, a mountain of chores, a pile of stinky laundry two stories high and no time to deal with any of it.
10. You tell me! (You guys are much better at this stuff).
    

(And by the way, thanks to all those who stopped by while I was out of town, and my apologies for not logging on to the internet almost the entire time! But I read some list that said I shouldn't).

So are any of you going to be able to escape for a vacation this summer? Or do you have any thoughts about vacationing generally?

Swamped? Try the Okefenokee Diet

[By Merry]

I originally wanted to title this post The Okefenokee Approach to Life, or, What To Do When Feeling Swamped, but Blogger gets cranky about long titles like that one. Besides, putting the word 'diet' in a title is like calorie porn; people tend to take a second look. In all honesty, this post is mostly about lifestyle choices rather than food choices.

The Okefenokee was the biggest swamp I could think of. In addition to feeling swamped and stuck in the mud and unable to see the forest for the trees, the image also conjures up pictures of alligators waiting for the opportunity to bite my leg off. All in all, a useful metaphor for a stressed-out life.

Sure, I can take care of your stress, noooo problem...

Oil & water? Angelina & Jennifer? Stress & advice?

When I'm stressed, the last thing I want to deal with is good advice. I'm too cranky to concentrate on improving things, even the situation. I cannot process the information. It's gotten to the point when I've feeling swamped just from reading lists that give advice on how to not be swamped.

Shape Up America devoted an entire post to long detailed lists of advice on how to improve every aspect of your life. I'm sure that took quite a lot of time and research to collect all those links, but I found simply reading the list of links to be exhausting. I couldn't face actually clicking on the links and trying them out.

When I'm stressed, any solutions need to be very, very simple.


Work less, stress less, end up homeless?

A new favorite blog I've found is Unclutterer. It's big on simplicity, which is great. I can't always apply the advice to my life, but I love the ideas.

I enjoyed their review of Timothy Feriss' book "The 4-Hour Workweek." Now, clearly this is something any stressed person could benefit from. My life would be So Much Simpler if I didn't have to go to work each day. (Also I'd be back living in my mother's house and scrounging for pennies , but that's another story.) Great concept . I don't see it translating into reality any time soon, but there's no law that says I can't dream about doing this... later.


The point is to be selective about the things you do have in order to live a quality life.

Well, sheesh! That's obvious.
I mean, everybody knows that.
Even I know that.

Except for times when I'm stuck in the mud and can't see the forest for the alligators, then I tend to forget the obvious and concentrate on the stressors.

Putting the Me into happy medium

It's not always the amount of stuff that I have to do that stresses me out, it's the ratio of Hafta to Wanna. Taking a few minutes for myself, like the Happiness Project's eight tips for making yourself happier in the next hour, restores the sense of proportion to the workload. Doesn't reduce the amount of work I have to do, but makes it easier to deal with, delegate, or rationalize it away.

The Okefenokee Diet: A Minimalist Approach

My prescription for living a less-stressed-but-still-employed life is as follows: when swamped, either push back, cut back, or have a Me attack.


• Go for minimalist veggies, i.e. I eat food that I can grab on my way out the door: bananas, pre-washed carrots, even dried fruit or a can of V-8.
• Instead of a glass of wine at the end of the day to relax, use the time to start planning what I want out of my life. Figure out a way to have a four-hour work week...
  
• Instead of comfort food, I want to do something for myself once a day. Something either fun or self-fulfilling.
• Set limits on how much crap I will take in one day. Most stressful is having several people pile things on my back. One manager I can train deal with, three or four bossy bosses... no. This is the tricky part. If you bitch too loud, you'll end up on the street. If you bitch too little, you can get overloaded, stress out, and end up in a room with padded walls.

Quote du jour
"I have learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back." -Maya Angelou

And if any gators have a problem with that, well... baby needs a new pair of shoes...

How do you juggle stress and a healthy diet without dropping one or the other?
Or perhaps I should ask instead, do you juggle stress and a healthy diet?

When work conflicts with working out, what do you do?

[By Merry]

Them: No pressure, just get it done right away.
Me: Instead of the other 12 things I have to do asap?
Them: No, in addition to them. You don’t mind, do you?


Pop quiz:

Is the above a
a) scenario for assertiveness training?
b) nightmare that you hope to wake from in a couple of minutes?
c) way to make sure that you do not get any exercise today?


The answer is: d) what my day was looking like yesterday. Technical writers, even the most prepared and organized of them, live their lives to the rhythm of Forces Beyond Our Control.

So one week things are calm and fairly rational, I only work 40 hours, and it’s not that hard to fit in the exercising around the work day.

Other weeks I can chose two of the following three options:
1 – work
2 – sleep
3 – exercise

That’s when the fun really starts. (I keep telling myself it’s fun. Nothing wrong with a good healthy self-delusion.)

Best solutions that I've found so far to manage working and working out:

1 – Take five minute breaks during the day (at least one in the morning, one in the evening) to go up and down the stairs. Stairs get the heart rate moving real fast. Plus, if I present a moving target, it’s harder for people to grab me and say “hey, are those docs ready yet? Never mind if the product doesn’t work, just write the manual anyway. And make sure everything's accurate.”

2 – Take a whole 20 minutes to step outside at lunch and run away. (And come back, alas.) I can eat at my desk – I know it’s not the best way to go, but it beats not eating and it beats not exercising. A steady 20 lunchtime minutes of getting the blood pumping and the respiration even slightly elevated helps keep the stress down, too.

3 – Alternate days when I exercise and days when I just go home (after 12-15 hours) and sleep. If I’m too tired to eat in the evening, that’s better than skipping breakfast.

4 – Take ten minutes at the end of the day to breath and stretch and turn off the brain. Andrew Weil has a whole CD devoted to breathing exercises. They do work, when I have the patience to listen to them and practice them.

4a - Sometimes I’m so stressed I want to kick the calm, relaxing CD player across the room – I can’t relax, I’ve got too much to do! – but in that case I take ten minutes to pace on Manuel, my new treadmill.

I’m probably going to get banned from certain blog-feeds for saying this, but Manuel still needs lubricant before he’s really useful… okay, I can’t even type that without blushing. I suppose I will have to learn to stop referring to my exercise equipment by pet names.

But you probably have better ideas

So what do you do when you’re absolutely nose-to-the-grindstone crunched for time?

You get extra points if you can describe your exercise activities, if any, without using words such as ‘lubricant’ – Crabby has standards, even if I don’t.

_______________________________________
And yes, this is the last time we're going to mention the Lipton Tea Bike Contest. The contest ends tomorrow morning at 5:38 a.m. Oregon time (Pacific Daylight Time). That will be your last chance to leave a comment about how to stay young and win a bike! (And trust us, if we could find a way to have all of you win a bicycle, we would! Crabby and I both think you guys deserve lots of nice stuff like free bicycles.)

I Keep on Fallin'

This is a Guest Post by the fabulous Leslie Goldman, author of the blog The Weighting Game. We could do a really, really long introduction of Leslie because she's done so many cool things (she's written a book and is even the co-host of a TV show!) But rather than repeat ourselves, we'll refer you to her previous interview and urge you to go visit her fantastic blog. So here's Leslie!




Last week, I got sucked into watching some mind-numbing show on E! called "The Best of the Worst Red Carpet Moments." Twenty minutes in, I actively thought to myself, "I am voluntarily wasting 20 minutes of my life," and then quickly slipped back into a TV coma filled with wardrobe malfunctions, celebrity babbling and Joan Rivers' scratchy squawking. All in search of the elusive payoff: E!'s All-time Worst Red Carpet Moment.

Kimberly Stewart and Paris Hilton, all tan legs and blonde extensions, were straddling tricked-out motorcycles, in very tiny dresses, looking as hot as they possibly could. Then Stewart pushed a button which she shouldn't have and was inadvertently catapulted down the red carpet at seeming warp speed. She tumbled off, spread eagle, paparazzi bulbs flashing and, as she tugged at her skirt to cover her bruised thighs and ego, all I could think was, "That is totally something I would do."

You see, I am not at all kidding when I say I am one of the biggest klutzes ever. On a daily basis, I trip over invisible cracks, bump into tables and walls, whack my head against the ceiling of the car. I spill milk all over the counter, missing my cereal bowl by a mile. I politely tuck my dress under before sitting down, only to miss the chair and end up on the floor. You know those comedy sketches when someone is talking to a friend behind them and is so into the conversation, they fail to notice that they are about to walk right into a metal pole? I have been that person.

My clumsiness started at a very young age. At nine years old, I vividly remember riding my bicycle with a friend and yelling out, arms overhead, "Look, Nicole! I can ride with no hands!" Apparently, I could not. I crashed headfirst into a mailbox, knocking myself unconscious and the next thing I remember is being delivered by Nicole's mom to my house, blood splattered on my Tweety Bird sweatshirt, not knowing my own name. "Who is the President?" I recall my mother frantically asking me, checking for signs of amnesia. I did not know. (Now I just pretend I don't.) Ever since that concussion, my life has been a series of spazzy stumbles, scary spills, and shaving accidents on par the Carrie finale.

I have a sad scar on my knee from three years ago when, while running to get the eggs off the stove before they boiled over, my legs got tangled up in my long skirt. For what seemed like two minutes, I sailed through the air, my husband watching helplessly, before I landed on the hardwood floor. Knees, then wrists, torso and head. Thud, thud...thud, thud, thud.

Later, in that same apartment, I set fire to our bed during the worst of possible times, mindlessly tossing a pillow aside without thinking. It landed on a candle. All of the sudden I heard him scream, "Fire!" and I opened my eyes to see flames lapping toward the ceiling. I tried to smother it with our comforter as my husband ran for water but unfortunately, my gentle fanning with the duvet was not forceful enough -- embers flew up and a chunk of them landed on my wrist, literally melting my skin away and resulting in an awful burn. As my beloved came to the rescue with a pitcher of water, I writhed in agony on the berber carpet with no one to blame but myself.

The strange thing about all of this is, I consider myself a fairly graceful woman. I've been a dancer my whole life, am 5'11" with a long neck and have been told, on numerous occasions, that I am well-poised, elegant even! So what makes me do things like rush to squeeze into the ever-decreasing space in a revolving door compartment, as I did at a wedding recently, only to get caught between the moving partition and door jamb, resulting in a massive head rattling, forearm bruise and public humiliation?

Apparently, the answer lies in stress and a hectic schedule, both of which I have plenty. Research shows if you're uptight and constantly focused on what you have going on five minutes from now, your muscles tense up, leading to jerky movements like sending water glasses sailing or whipping your head around and smacking your skull into the stranger behind you at the grocery story (yes, I've done both). So I guess my take-home lesson should be, when I notice more and more cuts and bruises showing up, I should take that as a sign. Slow down. Take a yoga class. Stop the ridiculous multitasking (hello, walking downtown while emailing on my phone, sipping an iced coffee and juggling my laptop and gym bag).

On a more a more serious note, accidents and unintentional injuries are a leading cause of death among all ages according to the CDC; experts suggest those people who consider themselves serial klutzes may want to examine their lifelong accident patterns and see if something deeper is at work. Depression, for instance, may cause a person to, say, not pay attention while driving, crossing the street, or bounding down the stairs.

I myself had a stair mishap but I'm pretty sure depression wasn't at the root: slippery socks were. That evening I was feeling particularly domestic and decided to mop the bathroom floor. Afterwards, I carried the bucket of dirty water and mop down two flights to the basement. Almost at the bottom, my right leg slipped out from under me. As I began to tumble, my butt hitting the first stair with a sickening crack, I had the clarity of though to realize the bucket of nasty bathroom floor water was now careening through the air, about to splash all over me. Four stairs from the bottom I attempted executing a MacGyver-like roll to the side but it was for naught. The pain upon impact was too much and I lay there, covered in mop water, legs splayed, bruises already forming...a poor woman's Kimberly Stewart.