Do You Get High?

So this is not a post about illegal drug use, though goodness knows I have some opinions*** about that.

Nope, sorry, this post is not about that kind of getting high. It's mostly about the wholesome, socially acceptable, completely legal "exercise" kind of high.

When I first started running, I was only 17 years old. So naturally the prospect of a "runners high" was quite intriguing! As I recall I got there sometimes--nothing earth-shattering at first, but definitely a bit of a dreamy, buzzy, euphoric feeling.

Now, more than 30 years later, I still find myself chasing and sometimes achieving the "high." While often it's not all that different from a slighty trippy "very good mood," other times it can be downright intense.

In fact a couple of days ago I had one of those "OMG I am SO HIGHHH!!!! episodes at the gym, and I'm sure people nearby must have thought I'd spiked my water bottle with Ecstasy--I was grinning like an idiot, dancing around on my elliptical machine, and even giggling a little because I sometimes I just couldn't help it.

Is there a secret formula for achieving an endorphin high from exercise? Well, I don't know if it would work for everyone, but I've found that for me: yes there is!

And in some ways the secret is sort of like the "one rule for a flat stomach": it involves cheating.

Can Everyone Get High From Exercise?
My sense is that perhaps not everyone is wired to achieve this, or at least not easily. I was surprised, for example, reading this New York Times article about "Runner's High," that there has always been a bunch of skepticism about it, and scientists have only recently even managed to prove that a "high" exists. And all the examples they cited tended to be of people doing something incredibly intense, or exercising for really long periods of time (like hours), running marathons or whatever.

Note: I do not perform aerobic exercise for hours at a time. Nor do I achieve the sort of intensity they're talking about with the half-assed interval training I make myself do. So I suspect most people's brains need more coaxing than mine does.

Crabby's Secret Recipes For an Exercise High
These will of course will not work for many of you, due to health, religious, or logistical reasons, or because your brains work differently. I have two different recipes for two different kind of "highs."

Even following the recipe, I don't get results every single time--otherwise, I wouldn't have any problem motivating to get to the gym. Also, the "highs" rarely hit more for more than a few minutes at a time, maybe two or three times during a lucky workout.

Intense Body-Slammin' Recipe:

1. I drink coffee beforehand. (This is the cheaty part). However, I drink a big cup of coffee every morning and yet do not wander around in a constant state of euphoria, so it's clearly only part of the process.

2. I choose a reliable high-inducing form of exercise. For the intense kind of high, I need something bouncy that allows me to propel my whole body up and down--like a step aerobic class or an elliptical machine. Dancing is good too. A bicycle ride, while fun, will not get me high.

3. I bring tunes. Music, for me, is critical. I must have a playlist with at least a few songs I absolutely LOVE, going at exactly the right speed.

4. Helpful hormones. Ladies, you know that part of the cycle where you're a bit amped anyway? This seems to be the best time for getting high.

5. Decent Mood. Being a cranky sort, it's easy to let myself get irritated by crowded gyms, hot temperatures, badly maintained equipment, etc. If I want to get high, I have to consciously remind myself that while I can't necessary control the thing that's annoying me, I can control my own feelings about it and choose to let it go. If I choose to stay annoyed, I won't get a buzz.

6. I start moving to the music, and hope for the best!

Like I said, it doesn't happen every time. But if the caffeine peaks at the right time, and the songs sound extra good, and I'm flying around to the rhythm (bobbing my head seems to help...) it can happen any time, usually after 10 or 15 minutes. A frequent trigger is a tune where the music is building and building towards a chorus and I know it's coming and I know how much I love it and I feel this gathering energy getting more and more powerful...

And then WHAM.

Seriously, for me it's an incredible rush. It's a burst of energy and joy--but also a weird liquid feeling somewhere in the base of my skull... I can actually feel it spreading upwards, seeping into the rest of my brain. I smile almost involuntarily, (and sometimes giggle) and squint my eyes together, and I just feel so GOOD! I just keep pounding away and dancing a bit and try to gather up all my senses and enjoy it while it lasts. Alas, eventually it fades but it usually fades into a pretty darned good mood. And on a good day it will often come back a couple more times before I'm done.

Whew!

Mellower Trippy Recipe
This second variation is also enjoyable, though not as intense. However, I find it easier to achieve and it's what makes me eager to go running even though I know I'm trashing what I have left of the cartilage in my knees. Heck, it's worth it.

1. Coffee beforehand. (Always)

2. Choose appropriate exercise: this time, running or hiking--something aerobic that can be performed outdoors.

3. Good music. Beat is important, but "mood" is also a crucial issue for this kind of high. The goal is a more trancey feeling, so music that's intricate and beautiful and puts me in an energetic but contemplative frame of mind works better than mindless pop. Unless it's unusually awesome mindless pop.

4. A beautiful outdoor trail.

5. Weather that's not hot and miserable. (However, I've had some running highs in cold and rainy weather... go figure).

6. Start running and hope for the best!

This kind of high sneaks up gradually and is more mellow. Colors seem extra crisp and bright, and things seem a bit dreamy and unreal--I often have to double-check that I'm not asleep and dreaming. There is a feeling of well-being and peace that's noticeably more intense than I get when I'm not exercising. This "high" usually takes longer to achieve, but lasts longer as well.

(***And yes, I do have opinions about illegal drugs! Here's one: fer goodness sake, how could it be that we baby boomers have made it all the way to middle age and should be in control now and yet people still get put in JAIL for smoking pot? WTF is up with that? Does anyone else think it might finally be time to legalize marijuana, tax it, and free up some much needed law enforcement resources for actual bad guys? Sure, some folks will abuse marijuana and cause themselves harm, much like other people abuse alcohol and tobacco and prescription pain killers and Twinkies to their own detriment. I'm just not sure the answer is to ban such potentially dangerous substances for everyone. It doesn't stop determined users anyway. Instead, how about using some portion of the new Pot Tax Revenue to fund treatment programs for those who need help? And just leave the medical and moderate users the hell alone since they're not bothering anyone?)

So do any of you like to get high, and if so, how do you get there?

Coffee Addiction: An Owner's Manual

Welcome and Congratulations, New User!

If you're acquiring your Coffee Addiction (COFAD) for the first time, please be sure to read all the enclosed materials carefully! With proper care and maintenance you can be prepared to enjoy your COFAD for many, many years to come.

Who Can Safely Use a COFAD?

Lots and lots of folks! COFAD has been thoroughly tested and approved for use by many individuals. However, COFAD is not advised for those with certain body types, brain types, religions, or chemical sensitivities. Nor is it recommended for persons who find the taste of coffee repulsive or who prefer to get "high on life." Please see further warnings below!

What Are Some COFAD Benefits?

• Stay Up Later
• Exercise With Less Whining
• Get More Done
• Look More Sophisticated (Sorry, only applies if 18 yrs of age or younger)
• Talk A Lot Faster
• Entertain Young Children with Sporadic Hand Tremors
• Burn Calories Fast with Compulsive Twitching, Finger-drumming and Teeth Grinding

Why COFAD is Better Than Ever!

Haven't had a COFAD for a few years? Now it's New and Improved. Check out these Exciting Enhancements:

• 95% less guilt! Coffee has been declared, for most people, a Healthy Beverage!
• More Variety! Check out all the additional new styles and price ranges! Remember the days when to perform proper COFAD maintenance you had to chose between Grocery Store Brands, Overheated Diner Coffee, or Workplace Sludge? Fancy Espresso drinks were available only if you were European or lived in an unusually hip neighborhood. Now, everyone can line up twenty deep in order to pay $4.00 for your morning brew!
• Trendier Than Ever--this Addiction Never Goes Out of Style! (Remember poppers?) Famous Actors, Hipsters, Writers, High-Powered Executives, Sports Heroes, CyberGeeks, and Rock Stars--Everybody's Got COFAD!
  

Instructions:

• Step One: Initialize your COFAD. Simply start by consuming the Coffee-based beverage of your choice. If you find it too bitter, add whiteners and brighteners until the flavor becomes more palatable and tastes like a dessert.
• Step Two: Habituate. Make sure you never miss a daily dosage!
• Step Three: Escalate. To do so, gradually increase your consumption by adding additional cups. You will know when it's time--former amounts that used to send you flying won't even register anymore.
• Step Four: Success! How to know when you don't need to escalate anymore and have successfully set up your COFAD? Quick test: Is it impossible to imagine rising from your bed and speaking, let alone getting through a workday without a steady infusion of coffee? Or, if you found yourself totally out of coffee and your car wouldn't start, would you walk five miles through a snowstorm in your bathrobe and slippers to buy more? How about just your underwear? If your answer to all these questions is Yes, Congratulations, you've successfully installed your COFAD!
• Advance Usage: Expert users have reported the ability to enjoy coffee in moderation and find it enhances performance best when Step Three, escalation, is skipped entirely! However, this is not a technique most novices can master. Decades of practice combined with periods of Abstinence or Decaf may be required to achieve this "Moderation" effect.

Warning!
Certain side effects have been documented. Like Death. (Click here for For Handy Caffeine Fatal Dosage Calculator. Really--it's pretty amusing).

Shhh: Salvia Divinorum, a Legal Hallucinogen?

Crabby loves newspaper articles like this one:

"Legal, Intense Hallucinogen Raises Alarms!"

What's so great about this investigative report? Well, it's informative and interesting, and it tells Crabby all about something she's never heard of--a legal hallucinogen that goes by "Salvia," or, the more colorful "Magic Mint" or "Sally D."

But that's not why the article piqued Crabby's interest.

Why then? Because the whole point of the piece is that there's a Possibly Scary drug out there that's unregulated, that can cause brief but intense hallucinations, and could be a health concern if lots of young people start using it. But it hasn't been much of a problem--mainly because not that many people know about it yet.

Hmmm. So how do we keep curious teens from finding out about it and trying it?

We write a front page news article telling them how freaky it will make them feel and how easy it is to get some!

Now of course Crabby is doing the exact same thing. But she has reasons. Excuses. Rationalizations. Whatever. Anyway, here they are:

1. Cranky Fitness is a tiny blog, not a big metropolitan newspaper;

2. The stuff actually doesn't sound all that dangerous, compared to other things out there;

3. Anyone who finds this blog post by Googling Salvia Divinorum already knows about its supposed hallucinogenic effects--otherwise why would they be Googling it? But most importantly:

4. Regular readers of Cranky Fitness do not tend to be teenage recreational drug users.

(In fact, on that last point: Apparently the title of this blog, "Cranky Fitness" has led the folks at Adsense to believe you are all quite elderly and in need of modified exercise equipment and lots of milk. Crabby is going to boot out Adsense in favor of something else, anything else, in the very near future. But she believes they may be right on one point: most of you are not impulsive teenagers looking to score).

So here's a little more info on Salvia Divinorum, courtesy of the S.F. Chronicle:

It's a plant from Mexico that has been used by shamans in religious ceremonies. When chewed or smoked, it can causes intense hallucinations. Sold in smoke shops, herbal stores, and over the internet, it costs about $15-$50 a hit. The high is "a dream-like state" that can cause out of body experiences. It typically lasts anywhere from a few minutes to more than an hour.

The drug has been outlawed in a few states already, and no one knows if it's truly safe or not. However, medical researchers haven't found negative side effects yet and it doesn't appear to be addictive. What concerns folks the most is the potential for trouble when people are hallucinating and try to drive or whatever. (There was even a murder and a suicide supposedly linked to Salvia use, but others were not convinced there was any connection).

The feds want to ban it of course, but researchers say salvia might also have beneficial effects and they want to study it.

And Jodie Trafton, an addiction specialist, didn't see the need for regulation. "People who use this aren't going to continue using it," Trafton said. "You're never going to get more than low-level use. The effect is too short, so by the time somebody starts freaking out... it's over. It's not something that's going to bombard emergency rooms."

Crabby would be way too chicken to try any "intense hallucinogen," as her brain functions weirdly enough as it is. But she tends to take a "lets license and tax the sh*t out of it but not ban it" stance on many recreational drugs. She wonders if readers have any thoughts or relevant experiences. And in particular, if readers who are parents might have different opinions than those who are not.

Good news for potheads!

Marijuana Cuts Lung Cancer Tumor Growth In Half, Study Shows

Science Daily — The active ingredient in marijuana cuts tumor growth in common lung cancer in half and significantly reduces the ability of the cancer to spread, say researchers at Harvard University who tested the chemical in both lab and mouse studies.

A summary of the study is here.

Crabby suspects that experts will go on to say "but don't smoke it anyway," because they always do. And she has no idea what the study actually means in practical terms--she didn't really get past the first paragraph because she's in a bit of a hurry at the moment and wants to get in a quick post. Plus, as we've established, she's lazy.

And of course Crabby is neither recommending (nor condemning) the smoking of marijuana. She just gets a kick out of it whenever some indulgence that we get nagged about not to partake in (wine, chocolate, coffee, eggs, whatever) turns out to have unexpected health benefits.