Your First Colonoscopy! What to Expect

Whee! Time for a Tube Up Your Tuchus!

image: wikimedia commons

By Crabby McSlacker

So, some perspective here: for people with serious illnesses who've been through hardcore, painful, debilitating, invasive medical procedures? A colonoscopy is probably child's play. (Although let's be clear, that's just an expression. If your child actually plays this way? We need to talk).

But for most people, there's at least a little trepidation. And for many, if statistics are to be believed, that fear is significant enough to skip the procedure entirely! Well sure, it could save your life and all, but really? Do you have to?

There are actually some alternative colon cancer screening methods. But since I didn't get to use one of them myself, discussion of these will be brief, and possibly a little bitter.

I've had a couple of  colonoscopies now. (And an additional bowel prep due to my hysterectomy.) My second colonoscopy was just a few days ago and the memories are still fresh. So I'm thinking it's time to share some info and observations and tips?  This is after all, a health blog, although with recent posts on tattoos and winter travel, it's easy to miss that part.

Here's the thing: for some people the whole colonoscopy thing is a breeze. For a very few unlucky folks: it's horrible. For most people I know, myself included: the procedure and the prep are somewhere in the middle. Decidedly unpleasant but not intolerable.

But being a whiner myself, I get tired of all those public-spirited accounts of the colonoscopy process that make it sound entirely innocuous in order to get you to go ahead and get yours. I'm not going to lie to you just to make sure you go do it. You need to and you will be really glad you did it! But it's not exactly fun. Here's at least one chronic complainer's take on what's involved.

And for those of you who have already joined this exclusive club? I'll be curious if your experience was similar or if there are all kinds of different colonoscopy experiences.

Warning: due to mature and disgusting subject matter, reader discretion is advised.

When Life Give You Lemons...

By Crabby McSlacker

Yes, it's time for another petulant post! This one is about an evil product I buy sometimes, one that totally pisses me off.

So why is it an incredibly stupid and annoying product?  And if it is indeed an abomination, why am I such a dumbass that I'd buy it in the first place?

Does Watching TV Give You Cancer?

photo x ray delta one

By Crabby McSlacker

So we've all seen the studies that say the more time you spend sitting, the more likely you are to acquire various dire diseases and croak at a younger age. (Which is part of the reason I'm writing this post using a stand-up desk).

However, a recent research review of 43 observational studies suggests there is a particular association between time spent sitting watching TV and cancer.

Yikes!

Apparently there is a much higher correlation between sitting time and colon or endometrial cancer if you plant your ass in front of a television set, as opposed to sitting around doing other things besides watching tv.

So how seriously should we take this?

Sunscreen: Why Must You Suck So?

Well, some people like it.

So summer has begun, and as is traditional this time of year, medical experts put on their stern frowny faces and shake their fingers and very solemnly warn us: Wear Sunscreen! And don't forget to use buckets and buckets of it and reapply every ten minutes! If you don't you'll get cancer and die!

And the beauty experts chime in too: Wear sunscreen because even worse than dying of skin cancer, if you're a woman: you'll end up with a wrinkly face and no one will find you attractive anymore! You'll look OLD, the worst sin you can think of!

While at the same time, scary research studies circulate and advocacy groups tell us: Wait a minute, watch out! The weird chemicals they put in sunscreen makes carcinogenic and it will mess with your endocrine system and who knows what might happen if you give it a few years?

Oops.

Instead, they say, you should try some Natural Alternative that may not work very well and will turn you all chalky white and freakish-looking five minutes after you apply it.  That's been my experience so far.  But no worries, you probably won't be able to find any of our recommended brands in the grocery store anyway!

Sigh.

A few helpful links? And lots more gripes? Sure, why not!

Random Wednesday: Blog Announcements, Inspirational Stories, and Endangered Penises

Photo: darkmatter

It's not yet time for our road trip back to the west coast (nor the Big-Ass Road Trip Giveaway that goes with it) but I'm headed out of town for a few days with the Lobster. The Lobster has a businessy thing to attend off-Cape, and we thought we'd take advantage of the travel opportunity and do a little hiking and camping and see some New England fall colors.

So this is one of those disorganized posts with a bit of this and a bit of that. Thank goodness Cranky Fitness has other more reliable co-bloggers besides Crabby McSlacker!

Wait, cobloggers? Plural?

Yes indeed. Plural!

Which leads me to one of today's blog announcements. So just who is the mysterious second co-blogger and when does she arrive?

New Co-blogger News!

Remember that very amusing review of the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD that I linked to a while back? Well, the author of that post, Gigi of Chunky Monkey Mama, will be joining the Cranky Team as a contributor, along with Jo from Head Nurse (whom you've already met).

Gigi starts this week, in fact, if all goes as planned. But we have a temperamental template, and I'll be out of town, so if somehow nothing pops up from Gigi? Blame the Crab and I swear I'll fix it when I get back.

If the Shoe Fits... It's Probably Being Worn by a Dude or a Lesbian:

Okay, the study did not say anything about sexual orientation, but from personal experience... I've noticed that many of you straight gals (not all, certainly) have this weird thing about footwear. As in, the more painful and impossible to walk in a pair of shoes appears to be, the more likely many of you are to want to stuff your feet in those babies and pay dearly for the privilege.

Well, according to a study reported by the New York Times:

"Researchers found that women who had mainly worn supportive footwear like sneakers or athletic shoes in their early years cut their risk of foot pain later by more than half, compared with women who had worn shoes that gave average support, like hard-soled or rubber-soled ones.

"But both of those groups were in a minority. More than 60 percent said that in the past they generally wore high heels, pumps, sandals and slippers, all of which researchers rated as higher risk. Women who wore those were at the most risk of hindfoot, ankle and Achilles’ tendon pain."

Don't say I didn't warn ya!

So What Was That About Endangered Penises?

I know it's quite adolescent of me to find this amusing, but the headline said "Rescue Team Uses Saw to Free Trapped Penis!" and I couldn't help but click on the report.

It seems that in an attempt to increase the size of his penis, a man put it "through the hole of a steel, ring-shaped dumbbell weight fastener." After two or three days, his penis had swollen a lot (more gross details here) and a fire department Urban Search and Rescue team had to come in and saw it off. (The weight fastener, not the penis).

The Department Battalion Chief carefully explained the procedure: "They slid a little piece of metal between the collar and his thing, so if it slipped past it wouldn’t hit his thing.”

Crabby No Longer Juiced Every Week:

So my contract is up at The Juice and this is my last week posting there. Thanks, all, for patiently putting up with all those sponsored plugs I was throwing at you this summer!

However, if you were ever going to wander over and actually watch one of the videos, this week's interview with Terri Tate would be a good one to check out.

If you are shallow like me, you might notice that while Terri is very articulate, she has a slight speech impediment. Then, a short while later, you hear her story and you find out why this is, and then feel like a total asshole for noticing.

Yep, she had oral cancer; went through drastic surgeries; lost half her tongue and lower jaw and a bunch of other body parts. She was given only a 2% chance to live. And yet she fought back and survived and put her life back together again. She's a nurse, stand-up comedian, speaker, and an award-winning performer of her own one woman show, which is on available on dvd if you're curious.

Watching these sort of interviews, or hearing similar stories of people who face unimaginably scary, painful, horrible and life-altering situations with optimism and good humor, I always think: Holy crap. How the hell do people do that? If you've been through something tough yourself, maybe you can tell me, because I just don't know how I'd ever cope.

But it does make me want to take a moment to remember that if something awful happens, suddenly the best-case prognosis might be to get only part of the workings of my old life back. And to somehow learn to be happy with that. I might have to fight like hell just to be able to speak or walk or read or eat, and I could be living with pain the entire time. The "happy ending" that so many brave survivors hope and pray and fight for? That's the very life I have now!

What great good fortune I have to be healthy! It would be such a waste to take that for granted, even for a moment. (Not that I promise to stop whining... but it's good every now and then to try to get some perspective.)

Stay tuned for Gigi and Jo, and have a great week!

Cancer: Beat It!

So my good pal POD over at the blog Thufferin' Thuccotash reminded me that October 2nd is Livestrong Day, as well as POD's own two year anniversary of receiving a cancer diagnosis.

Happy "Guess What, It's Cancer!" Anniversary, POD!
(Photo: Valerie Reneé)

POD is celebrating this milestone by doing a Livestrong Event over at her blog, and she's asked other bloggers to join her today in blogging about cancer. As she explained:

"It is a way for bloggers to share their stories, poignant, devastating, thrilling, celebratory and triumphant. If you haven't been bulldozed by a cancer diagnosis, you can still participate. Write about a friend or post a prayer."

Well, I'm not not good at poignant or thrilling, and I'm lucky enough not to have been bulldozed by a cancer diagnosis myself. And I'm crap at prayers.

But still--who doesn't think cancer sucks?

So even though my list is lightweight compared to the heroic tales of cancer survivors, and the tragic losses experienced by many of you, I'll add my 2 cents. We need to raise awareness and wipe cancer out so no one ever has to deal with it anymore.

Five Reasons Why I Hate Cancer:

5. It's scary and unpredictable and sometimes fatal, and so even if we don't have it ourselves it's hard not to worry about getting it. Ever since watching "Brian's Song" and "Love Story" in my youth, a cancer diagnosis has always been my biggest health fear. I've long dreaded the day when some frowning doctor is going to look down at my lab results and say "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

And television shows and movies love cancer, it's a reliable plot device. This only magnifies the sense that cancer is lurking everywhere, waiting for that brief lull in the action when everyone is finally happy. Then, just when you think everything's ok: uh oh! You can pretty much guarantee that if a character has a funny bump or a cough that lasts more than 2 days, pretty soon they're going to be seeing that frowning doctor. And within a month or so, that character's going to show up wearing a headscarf and a brave smile.

4. Because I fear cancer, I tend to spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to avoid anything that might encourage it. Am I slathering on the wrong sunscreen? Drinking water out of the wrong containers? Is my cell phone poisoning me? Should I worry I'm getting mammograms too often or not often enough? What sort of preservatives are in that lunch-meat?

In a world without cancer, I think I'd spend more time reading novels and a hell of a lot less time scouring labels for scary ingredients.

3. It's so unfair: too many people do everything right and still get cancer. Many of my blogging friends have dealt with it, like POD and Reb and Missicat and I'm probably forgetting a bunch of others. And I've lost friends in their 30's and 40's who should still be alive today.

2. From what I understand, even if one is lucky and survives and becomes cancer-free, the whole process can be excruciating. The fear, the pain, the exhaustion, the drugs, the nasty side effects, the unpleasant procedures, the expense, the toll on family members and caregivers... I have no idea how those of you with cancer continue to stay so brave and positive and constructive.

I'd be all "why me!" and "this sucks!" and "it's not fair!" and "don't expect me to do anything difficult--don't you know I have cancer?!"

1. I never got to know my grandfather. He was a doctor in the military, and was just getting ready to go work on the hospital ship the SS Hope, in order to help save lives around the world. Instead he was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and it took him quickly. I was only two when he died and I wish I could remember him, but I can't. From everything I've heard, I missed out on what could have been a great and inspirational relationship.

So thanks, cancer. Thanks a lot.

This is not to say there aren't lots of other horrible diseases too, and I think they all should have their own official "we hate you, get lost" day. And why does our country seem to have endless resources to study the cheapest way to make potato chips, and still not enough to discover cures for terrible random diseases?

Grrr.

But there's also reason for optimism...



Every day we read about promising new cancer treatments being developed. There may not be a single "cure" yet, but there are a lot more weapons than there used to be. Hard working researchers toil away in their labs, looking for better ways to detect and treat cancer, and it all adds up.

Breast cancer death rates have been dropping about 2% a year, for example, and have fallen nearly 30% from a high in 1989.

Unfortunately, all that research takes money, and a sense of urgency, and enough political pressure to make sure the folks in Washington understand that curing cancer and other horrible diseases should be an important national priority.

So anyway, scoot on over to Thufferin' Thuccotash, and consider donating to a cancer-fighting or other disease-related charity if you've got some bucks to spare.

Oh and I'm doing a short post over at the Juice today on the same subject, since it's "give more, get more" week. (Which does not mean that if you donate more to fight cancer, you will get more cancer. I swear).

Got some good reasons to hate cancer, or some inspirational stories to share?

Summer Traditions

Yes, the days may be growing a bit shorter, and the newspaper ads are already threatening us with "back to school" sales. But it's still summertime, right? And the season holds so many wonderful, familiar traditions: a swim at the beach, the sweet taste of a big fat triangle of watermelon, balmy evening strolls, baseball games, carnival rides, parades, festivals, and fireworks!

Other summer traditions? Well some aren't quite so cherished: boring reruns and sitting around sweating, or alternatively, cranking that noisy wasteful air conditioner up to "high" and then suffering the power outages that happen when everyone else does the same thing.

But one summer tradition almost everyone enjoys? The backyard barbecue!

Many Americans enjoy grilled food.

Yes, this is the time of year when 99% of the population says "Yippeeee! Let's fire up the coals and cook us some delicious burgers/dogs/chicken/tofu-veggie kabobs/ostrich patties!"

The other 1% of us? We sit around fretting about all the HCA's and PAH's.

So what are HCA's and PAH's?

Well, they're carcinogens. They form when you grill meat. Well-done red meat is particularly problematic.

Carcinogens? That doesn't sound good.

What's the point of stuffing ourselves with boatloads of all those virtuous anti-cancer foods if we're going to cancel out all that virtue with a simple backyard barbecued burger?

All for nothing? Dang!

But I have to confess I LOVE the taste of cancer-burgers and cancer-dogs and cancer-chicken and cancer-steaks. And the mouth-watering smell... How are we meat-eaters supposed to resist that char-grilled aroma when it's hard-wired into our cave-woman and cave-man brains?

(Sorry, all you vegetarians and vegans. But I'm guessing you were long gone at the first sight of that burger picture).

How to deal with this summertime dilemma?


My Previous Barbecue Strategy:

1. Try to limit barbecuing to when we are (a) camping or (b) having company. (Despite the fact that The Lobster* is an excellent and enthusiastic griller of meats).

(*The Lobster=My Significant Other, for those who are new here).

2. When the Lobster is finally permitted to fire up the grill, mention repeatedly at the grocery store (in a whiny voice) that barbecued meats cause cancer. Sigh when approaching the meat counter.

3. Announce that while everyone else might be having steak or burgers, I will make myself have a garden burger or a slab of tofu or a veggie kebab instead. Or maybe at least choose chicken or fish.

4. Think about it some more.

5. Guiltily throw an extra package of burgers and/or steaks into the shopping cart.

6. Once the Evil Meat is cooked, have seconds because it tastes so damn good.

Admittedly, not a particularly effective strategy.

Good thing it turns out there are other ways besides guilt and whining to deal with the grilled meats issue. Who knew?

Better Barbecuing Strategies:

1. Marinade! Even a few minutes helps get rid of a whole bunch of the nasty carcinogens, and grocery store dry mixes are apparently fine. This marinade study found marinading reduces HCA's by 87%. The level of reduced HCA's seemed to correlate to the amount of antioxidants present in the marinades.

"The marinade containing rosemary and thyme had the greatest effect on reducing HCAs, but two other marinades with different herbs seasonings were tested and found to be almost as effective. The rosemary/thyme marinade also contained pepper, allspice and salt. Another marinade included oregano, thyme, garlic and onion. A third marinade had oregano, garlic, basil, onion and parsley."

I’ve also read that acidic marinades are good, like those containing lemon or vinegar.

2. Choose wisely: the American Institute of Cancer Research says the grilling of meat is only a small part of the problem--it's what we grill that's getting us in trouble. Because of the link to colorectal cancer, they recommend we limit red meat to 18 ounces a week and avoid processed meats entirely.

3. Pre-cook in the microwave. Then toss out the juice, where a lot of the carcinogens are hiding.

4. Select small cuts of meat, like kebabs.

5. Choose lean cuts of meat and avoid fat dripping on the coals and causing flare-ups.

6. Flip Frequently.




Um, I meant flip the meat.


7. Avoid really high heat: Use a gas grill, or if using charcoal, don't cook meat too close to the coals

8. Don't Cook the Hell out of It. This one doesn't bother me, as I'm a medium-rare kinda gal, but those of you who like your red meat dry and brown and tasteless well done should probably indulge in grilling only "rarely."


So did this post sound somewhat familiar? Sorry about that!

Remember those other summer traditions I mentioned at the beginning of the post, the air conditioners and power outages and summer reruns? Well, the power went off Sunday afternoon as I was in the middle of researching a post about something else entirely. Since our cable modem needs electricity, and my laptop batteries had a only a small reserve of power, I thought rather than have no post at all, I’d partake of that Dreaded Summer Tradition, the “Rerun.”

Later in the evening, the power indeed came back on! And then went off again. So I'm afraid this is a very slightly edited version of a post that went up last year. But I'm hoping that if you already read it, you’re like me and don't remember a damn thing about it!

So do any of you worry about grilling meat and getting cancer, or is it only me who’s paranoid?

And Now For Something Completely Different

Blame The Blogess. It's all her fault.




(If you're having any trouble seeing it, try this link instead).

Avoiding some unpleasant task and need a distraction? Take it from the Queen of Procrastination. You can go to the xtranormal site and fritter away lots of time making your own dopey cartoons. (And if you do, please leave a link in the comments so I can watch it!)

Oh, um, health news? Well... here's something: don't drink your tea too hot! Apparently drinking hot tea can lead to throat cancer.

Sorry you asked? Here, have a nice dancing bear video. Mondays are hard enough without scary health warnings.



And my apologies to you folks with dial-up connections, as well as to those who have serious jobs and no headphones. Normal posts with actual words instead of videos will resume shortly!

Office workers can get skin cancer?

If you live in the Pacific Northwest, at this time of year the sun coming out behind the clouds is a Big Deal. People stop talking and stare in disbelief. They find sudden, unconvincing excuses to get outside.




Me, being a virtuous little worker bee, I try to keep typing while I hitch my chair a bit closer to the window in an attempt to soak up some rays. Turns out that's a bad idea. Who knew?

When the temperature is hovering around freezing, it's hard to go outside without wrapping self in layers and layers of clothing.

If the point of going outside is to soak up rays, this presents a problem. But it's even worse trying to get sunshine through glass.


It seems that's dangerous.


Unfair! I want to complain.

Here's the prob:
UVA = the bad stuff, the stuff you're supposed to put on sunscreen to
get away from.
UVB = the rays that cause skin to make vitamin D.

UVB rays are absorbed by plain ole glass.
UVA rays are transmitted just fine.

So sitting by the window soaking up rays can be a bad idea.

According to Dr. Mirkin, "since 1940 the greatest increase in melanomas has occurred in office workers, not in people who work outdoors. FDA researchers believe that low vitamin D levels may be responsible (Medical Hypothesis, January 2009)... Indoor office workers get up to nine times less UVB than people who spend more time outdoors.... So being indoors and exposing skin to the sun mostly through window glass reduces exposure to UVB that causes skin to make the vitamin D that prevents cancer, and increases relative exposure to UVA that destroys vitamin D in the skin and therefore increases cancer risk."

Well damn! A winter like this one, any sunny day that comes along has me glued to the window drinking in the sunshine without going outside and shivering me timbers off.

And even getting outdoors doesn't always help you get vitamin D at this time o' year. If you believe this study, above a certain latitude (52 degrees north) in winter, there "is not enough ultraviolet light of the appropriate wavelength for the body to make vitamin D on the skin." 52 degrees north translates roughly to cities such as Calgary or Birmingham. (No, not the one in Alabama.)

Put this one into the One More Thing to Worry About category. I was hoping I could find a study that proved using sun lamps let your body make vitamin D, but alas. So I'm turning to fish instead. Specifically herring. (Milk? Don't talk to me about milk. Okay, mostly because it makes me sick. But also, consider this: 3 ounces of herring would get you 1383 IU of vitamin D, while 8 ounces of fortified milk has 100 IU of vitamin D. Plus, herring is high in omega 3s. Take that, milk.)

Do you have any other ideas for getting sunshine/vitamin D/an early spring? Preferably ones that don't involve robbing a bank and hijacking a plane to Maui.

Photo credit: D'Arcy Norman

Well... unless it's a foolproof plan.




Non-Maui photos courtesy of substack.

Is Cancer Calling on your Cell Phone?

(flikr image by pinprick)

It's baaaaack...

Yep, scientists are renewing the debate over whether cell phones might cause cancer.

As I recall, at first they thought maybe yes they might be dangerous, and then bigger studies said nah, don't worry about it... Now there's a new study saying, yeah, well, you actually might want to start worrying about it again.

The CNN article cites a study by Dr. Lennart Hardell out of Örebro University in Sweden:

"The results indicated that people who use cell phones have double the chance of developing malignant brain tumors and acoustic neuromas, which are tumors on the hearing nerve. The study also said people under age 20 were more than five times as likely to develop brain cancer."

Of course there were other scientists who said: "Meh, small study, not yet peer-reviewed. Doesn't mean much--we've been using cell phones for a long time, and our brains haven't exploded out of our heads. Yet."

Okay, that wasn't an exact quote.

Bottom line: it's still unsettled. And to me, unsettling.

If I had kids? I might think about using this as an excuse to take the damn things away from them and save some $$$$ trying to limit cell phone usage--but how the heck are you supposed to do you do that?

(Photo by cotaroba)

And generally--headsets are supposed to reduce risk, so even when you're not in the car you might think about using one. You too can be one of those folks who walks around town talking to herself like a crazy person.

Personally, I don't use cell phones much as it is.

I'm one of those people who hates talking on any kind of phone. I'd rather chat in person or via email. (Yes, as we've established, I'm a nut case. But I have good company on this one).

I don't process information as well without visual cues, and I feel much more socially awkward on a phone than I do face-to-face. (And if you've ever dealt with me face-to-face, you know that's a LOT of social awkwardness!)

And for everything I hate about talking on the phone generally? I hate all those things worse when it comes to cell phones.

How come they keep inventing new teeny tiny phones that do a million things I have no interest in, but they can't get the sound quality anywhere near as good as on a landline? People are always drifting in and out and breaking up into little blippy beepy sounds. So then you have to figure out whether to fess up that didn't hear more than a few syllables of what they just said.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear what you... no, um, could you repeat that? Um, again? No, I'm sorry, I still didn't get those last few words... Fried puppy toes? What? ..."

Or, alternatively, you can give up and just fake it and pretend you understood what the caller was saying, at the risk of totally misunderstanding the entire phone call. A really great plan when it's something important or emotionally charged or involves airplane flight times. Not.

I can never relax when I'm talking on a damned cell phone. And now if there's some (small) chance the stupid thing is leaking cancer into my head? It truly doesn't make me any more eager join the 21st century.

What about you folks: cell phone fans? Love 'em? Hate 'em? Worried?

(Note: The Crab is out of town again for a couple days, and will be hoping to get online but is not sure how often this will be possible. Back very soon to catch up with everyone!)

Diet and Cancer

[Special Guest Post by Christine Hanley]

Note: this is a 3-part post by Christine of Póg Mo Thóin Slán Leat. You may want to bookmark it, because it is one of the best explanations I've ever seen as to why eating healthy can reduce your cancer risk. It's very informative and motivating, not to mention amusing, which is hard to pull of when writing about cancer. Thanks Christine!--Crabby]


What is Cancer?

One way to understand Cancer is to think of your body as a nice, posh, invite-only wine and cheese ‘do at your house. When the party (your body) is functioning properly, the number and quality of party attendees (cells) is regulated. If someone turns out to be an inappropriate guest (a cell damaged beyond repair), you ask them to leave and everything is back to normal (this is your body’s natural process of cell death, aka apoptosis).

However, let’s say something has caused you to be incapacitated for some reason (your body’s natural cell death system is not functioning properly). A real jerk shows up to your party and starts off by chugging a bottle of wine, messing with the stereo and annoying your guests, but you can’t get out there to get rid of him. Then he gets on the phone and starts inviting all his jerky friends over (the bad cell, having not gone through natural cell death, begins to replicate). The jerks start taking over for real now, since all of them are phoning their jerky friends over (all the cells are replicating uncontrollably) and they’re starting to get into areas that the party was not even supposed to be in, crowding out the nice guests you invited (regular, healthy neighbouring cells) and oh look, now there’s a disgustingly raunchy threesome with all sorts of questionably legal acts happening in your marriage bed. Like, I'm talking, one of the participants is a goat. Cancer is nasty business folks, and it’s got no respect for anyone or anything.

Now, hopefully by this stage, someone will have called the cops (you’ll have noticed something has gone wrong and gotten yourself to the doctor). Because, if this situation goes completely unchecked, some of these drunkards will get into their cars and start driving down the roads and invading other parties in town (new parts of your body) and the whole thing will start there as well. This is metastasis, where pieces of the Cancer break off and go to completely new places and grows new tumors.

So in short, Cancer is caused by your cell security system (cell death) breaking down and causing damaged cells to replicate uncontrollably, invading other tissues and possibly metastising via the blood and lymph systems into new parts of the body.


Cancer Prevention

Since Cancer is basically a bunch of bad cells dividing uncontrollably without anything to tell them to take a hike, we can infer that Cancer is therefore best avoided by preventing the loss of your cell security system. This cell security system is hard coded into your genetic code, aka your DNA. All Cancers are caused by DNA anomalies: mutations.

Mutations can be caused by any number of things; you can be born with them (Genetics), or you can acquire them, through plain old DNA replication errors, (when your cells divide normally, each cell gets a new copy of DNA made especially for it, and sometimes it’s copied wrong like a badly executed Xerox) or through something physically interfering with the DNA molecule. This last cause, physical interference, is where diet comes in to play. I’ll talk about two major types of physical interference: intercalation and oxidization.

Something to remember, however, is that you have a LOT of security. In fact, your DNA’s security systems definitely outstrip that of even a post 9/11 airport. So you need a LOT to go wrong before you get Cancer. Clearly, though, it does happen.

Intercalation

Certain types of nefarious molecules can sort of slide into your DNA like an issue of Penthouse into a Harvard Library bookshelf. High falutin’ scientists call this “intercalation”. Basically, it means that your DNA is like a big huge stack of plates. Every plate is the exact same size and type so there’s no problem stacking them so high and it’s quite stable. Intercalation is like sliding a mismatched plate into the middle of the DNA molecule. This throws off the whole stack, and can screw up all loads of things. If it screws up a part of your DNA responsible for the cell security system, you can get a runaway cell that causes Cancer.

Molecules that cause intercalation are, by and large, “flat” molecules. They’re often kind of disc shaped, usually. Polycyclic Aromatic Hydrocarbons (PAHs) are one of these: you can tell by the name: “cyclic”. Like a circle. Disc shaped. They are formed when fat is burned over high heat – so when you barbeque a steak. Another is Acrylamide, which is formed when you brown starchy foods – like when you toast a slice of bread or fry a potato.

However, the body does do a wonderful job of policing the molecules that get into it: people have a family of enzymes called Cytochrome P450s that alter alien molecules so that they don’t fit into DNA, and making them water soluble so that your body flushes them out with the rest of your wee. This is why it’s ok to eat toast and steak in moderation: because as long as you don’t give your body a deluge of these toxic compounds, your body can handle them just fine, it’s got built in defences against most of what you can throw at it as long as you’re generally treating it right.

Oxidation

The second process I’ll talk about which alters your DNA and therefore can cause Cancer is called oxidization. This is a process in which your DNA gets damaged, (oxidation is the same process that's rusting your car right now). Again, if the cell security system takes a hit… I’m pretty sure you’ve figured out by now what that means.

When you digest food, you are essentially breaking chemical bonds. Sometimes the breaking of a chemical bond creates something called a Free Radical, which is missing an electron, which will sometimes search out a stable molecule from which to steal an electron. This is considered to be a major factor in DNA damage, which not only causes Cancer, but aging in general as well.

Here is where that all powerful anti-oxidant comes in: they neutralize the Free Radicals before they can damage your DNA. Anti-oxidants are bodyguards for your DNA. To prevent Cancer, you want to make sure you have enough anti-oxidants to neutralize any Free Radicals that might occur. There is NO such thing as too many anti-oxidants.


The Cancer Most Linked to Diet

By and large, the number one Cancer that you can prevent through diet is Colorectal Cancer. It is the third most common Cancer in both men and women in the US, so it’s certainly worth pausing to think about. People don’t like to talk about it though, since it’s fundamentally Ass Cancer.

I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that a large risk factor for the development of Colorectal Cancer is a diet high in fat and low in fibre – which is essentially the Western diet. Researchers figured this out when they found that people from Swaziland have nearly NO Colon Cancer, which they thought might be due to the fact that the Swazilanders eat hugely fibrous Betel Nuts which make them take about 3 or 4 dumps a day. Freakin’ impressive, man. (They then did a lot of fun studies on Intestinal Transit Times involving timing how long coloured pellets took to “emerge”. Interestingly, English boarding schools were the most anal retentive. I totally wish I had a source for that one besides my University Chemistry professor.)

Anyway, since then there have been a lot of studies corroborating the fibre/colon Cancer protection link. There are a number of theories as to why this occurs, the two most popular being that fibre increases fecal bulk, thus diluting Cancer causing compounds in the intestines; as well as decreasing the amount of time the crap (literally) hangs around in your colon, thus limiting your intestines' exposure to the toxins within.

Take Home Messages

• Your body is well equipped to deal with all sorts of intruders, as long as you don’t launch a full on dietary blitzkrieg on it. Eat foods with known carcinogens (such as BBQed meats) in moderation and your body will dispatch them quite efficiently.
• Make sure you eat plenty of anti-oxidant containing foods (by and large these are your fruits and veggies) to provide your DNA with plenty of protection from the wear and tear of daily life.
• Lastly, eat whole foods high in fibre: they’re your best defence against Colorectal Cancer, by getting the toxins in your poo out of your body ASAP.

Christine Hanley isn't a dietician or a doctor or anyone with any fancy shmancy right to tell you what to eat, but she did study Biology for four years at McGill University and ended up with a BSc. Which has proved to be totally useless so far, but hey, she's not bitter. She usually blogs at Póg Mo Thóin Slán Leat.

Radioactive Granite--Who Can I Blame?

[By Crabby]

(Photo: NancyHugoCKD)

Have you seen the rather depressing article in the New York Times about how our kitchen countertops are going to kill us all one day?

OK, it didn't exactly said that. The article was specifically about granite countertops--most of which are apparently only a little bit radioactive.

Gosh, that's reassuring.

The article goes on to talk about scary things like radon emissions and lung cancer. And it notes that the EPA has been getting more and more calls from homeowners and radon inspectors lately, saying they're getting "radiation measurements several times above background levels" from their granite countertops.

“It’s not that all granite is dangerous,” said one expert, “but I’ve seen a few that might heat up your Cheerios a little.”

Of course there are conflicting quotes from various sources, some saying the risk is so minimal you should worry more about being struck by lightning; others saying any radiation exposure is a bad thing, and that some countertops are really freakin HOT. (And not in a good way).

According to the EPA's radon guide, radon is "a cancer-causing, radioactive gas," something you'd probably rather not have much of in your house. And it's not just granite countertops: "radon comes from the natural (radioactive) breakdown of uranium in soil, rock and water and gets into the air you breathe."

Yikes. I'm kind of attached to the air I breathe and would have difficulties giving it up.

The only way to know if you have a radon problem, either in your countertops or your house generally, is to test for it. Doesn't matter if you don't have granite surfaces and live in an area without a known problem, you could just be unlucky and have this creepy stuff silently poisoning you even as you're scurrying around making sure you're using green cleaning products and fragrance free toiletries and eating only organic food.

Great. Another new scary might-give-you-cancer thing to worry about. My list is ridiculously long already, guess I might as well throw radon on there too.

Fortunately, if you're concerned, you can test for radon yourself. Apparently there are inexpensive test kits out there, though none of the helpful radon sites I went to seemed to link to where you could order one. I'm thinking testing might make more sense than worrying, so I may need to spend a few minutes on Google to find a good test kit--unless any of you radon-savvy folks have recommendations.

But anyway, I was not thrilled to read about the killer granite countertops. When we moved to the East Coast this spring we did some renovations on our new place. And one of the first things we did... can you guess? Yep, we replaced the aging synthetic something-or-other countertops with brand-spankin'-new granite countertops.

Who's to Blame for the Shocking Health Hazard in our Home?

Blaming "mother nature" for a "natural radioactive breakdown" is a bit unsatisfying. Perhaps we could fault the governmental regulatory agencies for not warning us, or the granite countertop makers for not testing the stuff to make sure it was safe before sending it to our houses?

But that's the same old rant again, right? Let's look for another culprit, one that may be lurking in your house too...

Hmm, why did we pick granite countertops in the first place? Why not go with, say, ceramic tile: a humble but durable material we were perfectly happy with back in our old California place?

Here's why: we watch HGTV.

And the reason we may now have a radioactive kitchen is because the Home and Garden Network bullied us into putting in granite countertops!

It's true. They made us do it!

Have you ever watched HGTV? Whether it's a show about searching for a home, buying a home, selling a home, or renovating a home, one is left with a consistent message: Should you ever want to sell someday, no one will ever, ever buy your place if your kitchen does not have granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.

Who made up this stupid rule? What if you don't even like stainless steel or granite? Well, tough luck. Doesn't matter. Buyers "expect" it, so you better have it.

We know, of course, that this is the height of idiocy.

In fact, we scoff at these shows--the way they insinuate that we should toss out perfectly good appliances because they are the wrong color. We laugh at spoiled young couples who wouldn't think of living in a house unless it had ginormous walk-in closets and bathrooms the size of bus stations.

But... we also couldn't help paying attention. Having just sold, bought, and remodelled ourselves, we were fascinated by the whole subject. House shows are like porn for the middle-aged, and you don't even have to draw the shades to watch it.

Some of the shows are like little morality plays. Hard work pays off! Greed gets you in trouble! Look before you leap! Use your head before spending money!

We really didn't want to be that family who replaced their dining room with an indoor hot tub--and then couldn't figure out why their house wouldn't sell.

So when we realized the aging countertops in our new place needed to go, how could we ignore the constant HGTV imperative to buy granite? To ignore that would to become those poor hot tub people.

But I do wish at least one of the hundred times they mentioned a glorious granite countertop, they could have maybe slipped in, "on the down side, it might give you lung cancer?"

Maybe it's about time to just turn off the tv.


Anyone else have thoughts on the increasingly carcinogenic world around us, the lure of home and garden shows, kitchens, remodeling, or anything else?

Beyond the ABCs of vitamin lore

[By Merry]

For some reason this flickr photo makes me want to sing "Let the sunshine in!" ...

This is a rant.
It is only a rant.
If this had been a real, informative post, it would have been written by Crabby.
It is only a rant. Please remain calm.

Okay, yes, I get it that vitamin D is important. Hell, it's a vitamin. They're all important from a basic building-block-of-life point of view; that's why they get named after letters of the alphabet. Fine. No problem.

What makes me cranky is the sudden onrush of articles about how essential it is to get outdoors in the sunshine, stop and smell the roses (check first to be sure there's no bee visiting the rose first), and soak up some rays. SOME rays.

Two Points:

1 - Every which way you look, someone is warning about the evils of too much sun.

2 - You need vitamin D, which you can only get from sunshine or supplements, i.e. from putting some effort into ingesting the stuff. You really can't get all the vitamin D you should have just from regular (un-fortified) food. "Vitamin D is found naturally in very few foods."

But...

On one hand, the argument against supplements is that you can overdo. Vitamin D is a fat-soluble vitamin, so, like overdoing the vitamin A, it's possible to get too much of a good thing.

And on the other hand, we've all been warned for years that if you venture out in the daytime hours, you'd better be slathered in the greasy stuff. The problem with sunscreen is that if you wear the stuff, it almost invariably blocks the synthesis of vitamin D on your skin.

Technically, to make vitamin D you have to sweat. As the sun's rays hit the sweaty skin, vitamin D is synthesized in the sweat and then absorbed into the skin. Then the liver and the kidneys get into the act and finally you have the vitamin D that helps build bones and do a whole lot of other good things too.

To keep all the experts happy, you'll need to make sure you either a) get just the right amount of vitamin D through supplements or b)get outside for 20 minutes or so in the early morning or late afternoon without sunscreen, but to make sure you don't get skin cancer, you have to remember to use the greasy stuff if you're going to be out during the main part of the day.

It's a lot to remember. Complicated. In reality, I'll probably guard against the sun most of the time, but occasionally I know I'll forget and go out with unprotected skin, which will then allow me to get some vitamin D into my system. And of course supplement with vitamin pills. Since I forget to take them on a regular basis as well, this means I won't have to worry about overloading my system with the D stuff.

Sigh. One more thing to keep track of when I'd rather be off having fun in the sun or becoming a slug in a hammock.

Okay. Rant done.

Do you make a point of taking vitamin supplements or making sure you get juuuuust the right amount of non-sunscreened exposure? I would think for people in the more northern climes *cough* Canada *cough*, it would be really challenging to get all the vitamin D the experts say you should have without resorting to hitting the vitamin bottle or taking the odd vacation to Cancun in December. And January. February, too.

What do you do?

Fun in the Sun?

[By Crabby]

I hate sunscreen. Anyone else?

I hate the sticky ickyness of it. I hate when it runs in my eyes. I always get too much of it on my clothes, and not enough of it on my skin. I hate having to put it on for a morning run, then, after showering, having to put it on all over again.

Of course there's been some research about the anti-cancer properties of Vitamin D, and some folks are recommending a little bit of sun exposure without sunscreen. But no one seems to be saying this is license to skip the sunscreen entirely.

Nope, Not A Smart Move
(Photo credit: genosfear)

Does anyone else old enough to remember "tanning," as an intentional activity, guilt free? It made going to the beach and taking a nap feel like an accomplishment! You got "credit" for flopping down on a towel in the sand and absorbing rays, because you were improving your appearance which would make you more popular. How cool was that?

Sigh.

Then we found out we weren't supposed to tan on purpose.

I know some people still do. If you are one of those people who goes without sunscreen or burns your skin on purpose, can I pass on a message from a good friend of mine who did that too when she was younger? She has melanoma now. She says: "Don't."

Off course we keep hearing that theoretically there is a pill on the way, but I've been hearing this for ages now. Could we hurry up with the sunscreen pills, please scientists? That and the jet-packs we were all supposed to be flying around in by now?

Like many people, I make myself wear the sunscreen even though I hate it. The brand I use is supposed to quite effective. I use a spray version for my legs 'cause I'm lazy, and a lotion for the rest of me that tries to be somewhat less oily and gooky. At least it calls itself "dry touch." Still feels slimy to me, but somewhat less so than the others.



This is a popular and well-reviewed sunscreen. I won't chase down all the links, but part of the reason I've come to use it is that health magazines and dermatologists seem to recommend it pretty often. For example, in this compilation of product review sources, my brand comes in at #1.

But according to the Environmental Working Group, which has put together a database of cosmetic ingredients and their safety, I might as well be smearing rat poison all over me instead.

They say my sunscreen is NOT recommended because it contains ingredients linked to:

• Cancer
• Developmental/reproductive toxicity
• Allergies/immunotoxicity
• Neurotoxicity
• Endocrine disruption
• Persistence and bioaccumulation
• Organ system toxicity
• A few minor things like skin irritation, and
  
• Biochemical or cellular level changes.

That is a scary list.

How seriously should I take this, does anyone know? Is the Environmental Working Group mainly an advocacy group, or is it a bunch of serious, well-respected scientists that we should be paying way more attention to?

Because, damn, it they're right, I should probably switch from my easily available, everybody-recommends-it brand of sunscreen to one of the obscure brands that makes their "safe and effective" list. Even though my local drugstores don't stock them and they're probably slimy.

Here's where my distrust of advocacy groups and "stuff you read on the internet" collides with a similar distrust of our governmental regulatory process. The quaint notion I used to have that "if something were really dangerous they wouldn't let companies just sell it in the stores" has, alas, been tested too often. Now I believe: hell yeah, they will, if it's good for business.

So throw in some anxiety, wishful thinking, laziness, and frustration, and you end up with me not knowing What The Hell to Think.

If anyone has any thoughts or info on this, please help!

Fearin' The Flames

[By Crabby]

Memorial Day has come and gone. It's now official (at least in the U.S.): Barbecue Season Has Begun!

This is generally seen as a good thing.

Many Americans enjoy grilled food.

Yes, this is the time of year when 98% of the population says "Yippeeee! Let's fire up the coals and cook us some delicious burgers/dogs/chicken/tofu-veggie kabobs/ostrich patties!"

The other 2% of us? We're the carnivores who love barbecued meat but worry about the HCA's and PAH's.

What are HCA's and PAH's, you might ask?

They're carcinogens. They form when you grill meat. Well-done red meat is particularly problematic.

Carcinogens? Oh dear.

What's the point of stuffing ourselves with boatloads of all those virtuous anti-cancer foods if we're going to cancel out all that virtue with a simple backyard barbecued burger?

All for nothing? Dang!

But I have to confess I LOVE the taste of cancer-burgers and cancer-dogs and cancer-chicken and cancer-steaks. And the mouth-watering smell... How are we meat-eaters supposed to resist that char-grilled aroma when it's hard-wired into our cave-woman and cave-man brains?

(Sorry, all you vegetarians and vegans. But I'm guessing you were long gone at the first sight of that burger picture).

How to deal with this summertime dilemma?


My Previous Barbecue Strategy:

1. Try to limit barbecuing to when we are (a) camping or (b) having company. (Despite the fact that The Lobster* is an excellent and enthusiastic griller of meats).

(*The Lobster=My Significant Other, for those who are new here).

2. When the Lobster is finally permitted to fire up the grill, mention repeatedly at the grocery store (in a whiny voice) that barbecued meats cause cancer. Sigh when approaching the meat counter.

3. Announce that while everyone else might be having steak or burgers, I will make myself have a garden burger or a slab of tofu or a veggie kebab instead. Or maybe at least choose chicken or fish.

4. Think about it some more.

5. Guiltily throw an extra package of burgers and/or steaks into the shopping cart.

6. Once the Evil Meat is cooked, have seconds because it tastes so damn good.

Admittedly, not a particularly effective strategy.

Good thing it turns out there are other ways besides guilt and whining to deal with the grilled meats issue. Who knew? (Well, lots of people apparently, since some of these studies are at least a year old.)

Better Barbecuing Strategies:

1. Marinade! Even a few minutes helps get rid of a whole bunch of the nasty carcinogens, and grocery store dry mixes are apparently fine. This marinade study found marinading reduces HCA's by 87%. The level of reduced HCA's seemed to correlate to the amount of antioxidants present in the marinades.

"The marinade containing rosemary and thyme had the greatest effect on reducing HCAs, but two other marinades with different herbs seasonings were tested and found to be almost as effective. The rosemary/thyme marinade also contained pepper, allspice and salt. Another marinade included oregano, thyme, garlic and onion. A third marinade had oregano, garlic, basil, onion and parsley."

2. Choose wisely: the American Institute of Cancer Research says the grilling of meat is only a small part of the problem--it's what we grill that's getting us in trouble. Because of the link to colorectal cancer, they recommend we limit red meat to 18 ounces a week and avoid processed meats entirely.

3. Pre-cook in the microwave. Then toss out the juice, where a lot of the carcinogens are hiding.

4. Select small cuts of meat, like kebabs.

5. Choose lean cuts of meat and avoid fat dripping on the coals and causing flare-ups.

6. Flip Frequently.



Um, I meant flip the meat.


7. Avoid really high heat: Use a gas grill, or if using charcoal, don't cook meat too close to the coals

8. Don't Cook the Hell out of It. This one doesn't bother me, as I'm a medium-rare kinda gal, but those of you who like your red meat dry and brown and tasteless well done should probably indulge in grilling only "rarely," (so to speak).


So what do you folks do about the 'Q? Just sensible gourmet veggie kebabs, or do you grill up burgers and dogs every chance you get?

Friday Menu Special: Plenty of Bologna!

Ever Notice? Everything Just Tastes Better on a Tray!

Actually, it's "Bologna Lite" this week (did you know it even comes Fat Free?).

Unfortunately, Crabby is finding that Real Life Responsibilities are interfering with her compulsive web surfing scholarly research on Health Issues. Will she get back on track or is she heading down the slippery slope of Blog Slackitude? Only one way to find out--stay tuned to Cranky Fitness over the weeks and months to come! In the meantime, here's the usual Friday Fare, with far fewer calories but packed with tons of healthy preservatives.

Nitrites and Nitrates: Our new Best Friends?
Hidden within an article with the innocent title "Eating Your Greens Could Prove Life-Saving If A Heart Attack Strikes," was some news that Crabby found totally freaky. This study (which involved administering nitrite to mice) apparently suggested "that the chemical nitrite, found in many vegetables, could be the secret ingredient in the heart-healthy Mediterranean diet."

What?

Isn't nitrite (and nitrates, which are some sort of precursor or something) supposed to be really Evil and Carcinogenic and a good reason to either avoid processed meats or seek out special fancy expensive brands that don't have any?

The article went on to quote the researcher, Dr. Lefer as saying: "recent research has found no convincing evidence that nitrite and nitrate pose a cancer risk." He also noted that Europeans consume nearly 100 times the amount of nitrite and nitrate daily because they eat so many more vegetables. "This large intake of nitrite and nitrate poses no known risks and could certainly help explain why the Mediterranean diet is heart-healthy despite its relatively high fat content," he says. (Lefer hails from Albert Einstein College of Medicine of Yeshiva University; Crabby has no idea if that's impressive or not, not being much of an Einstein herself).

Crabby actually ran into this issue before, when she reviewed some tasty nitrite-free lunch meat. She was sure there would be a ton of recent research saying nitrites were evil, but couldn't find much. She just put it down to her lack of Google skills. Still--seems best to take the "eat more vegetables" part to heart and don't go racing out to load up on lunch-meats. For whatever reasons, heavy consumption of red and processed meats is still thought to raise cancer risk.

Got Milk Thistle?
According to a recent study, silibinin, a compound found in milk thistle, may reduce cancer cell proliferation and help kill off cancer cells. Milk thistle is already a widely used folk remedy used for liver disease. But, well, what does it taste like in coffee?

Something They Don't Show Nearly Enough of On Grey's Anatomy:
The shows self-absorbed doctors-in-training very rarely accidentally poke themselves with needles--but real residents apparently do it all the time. Problem is, they're not reporting it. A survey by researchers at Johns Hopkins found that "99 percent of surgeons-in-training suffered an average of eight needle-stick injuries in their first five years. Of these surgeons, only 49 percent reported the injuries. “We know also that many residents resist reporting because the training culture suggests that needle sticks ‘go with the territory’ and reporting them may lower peer esteem,” said one of the authors. (Via That'sFit).

And so on to Randomness... after only three items of actual Health Research? Yeah, well, Crabby got distracted the pictures of Tree Root Man, which seem to be both disturbing and authentic. Next time you find yourself complaining about your stiff joints... a little perspective.

Hide the Falafel...
So Mary at the always-amusing Sheesh alerted Crabby to this bizarre FBI scheme to catch terrorists by tracking their tahini. According to Jeff Stein of the Congressional Quarterly, "the FBI sifted through customer data collected by San Francisco-area grocery stores in 2005 and 2006, hoping that sales records of Middle Eastern food would lead to Iranian terrorists... The idea was that a spike in, say, falafel sales, combined with other data, would lead to Iranian secret agents in the south San Francisco-San Jose area."

And What the F*ck, More Research on Swearing! You can also thank Mary for finding us a high-brow article in The New Republic, revealing everything one needs to know about cursing, including how the interplay between the neocortex and the limbic system make it particularly effective! As it happens, obscenity is one of Crabby's favorite hobbies, so this was an excellent find.

Perhaps Not as Highbrow...
But not to be missed: Amy's hilarious illustrated account of social discomfort at the gym.

An Exercise Video with No Animals In It?
Crabby tried hard to find some animal fitness footage, but too many of the possibilities this week either seemed (a) boring or (b) a little cruel. So instead of animals, she'll direct you to this strange but amusing competition . And yes, it is Japanese, how did you guess?

Oh Wait, Do These Count?
If you have gotten this far down and are still sampling links, you might be goofy enough to appreciate this bit of cow weirdness. Or you could always take your cursor on a walk with a feisty little dog.

And sadly, that's all for this Friday, but notice how energetic you feel when your not totally stuffed? Anyway, enjoy your nitrites and have a great weekend!

Random Friday: Home-Grown Edition

(Benny, Frank's charismatic dog, courtesy of The Smitten Image)

While Crabby was on vacation, she missed reading many of her favorite blogs. Since then, she's been trying desperately to catch up. So rather than search the entire internet for Random Friday items, she thought she'd just steal stuff from some of her blog friends! use this opportunity to acknowledge some of the great blogs hosted by friends of Cranky Fitness!

Unfortunately, she can only get to a few--so readers are reminded to click on those cheerful blue hyperlinks in the comment section as often as possible. (And on a related note, Crabby knows the Random Rotating Blogroll needs a major update. Soon, she hopes--or at least, well, someday.)

Anyway, so all the info here is courtesy of various Crab-Friendly blogs. Thanks everyone, for writing Crabby's Random Friday Post for her!

Broccoli Sprouts: Smear Them on Your Face?
Well, not quite yet, but the Broccoli Sprout People (who kindly sent Crabby some Broccoli Tea a while back) are reporting that "a topical application of an extract of broccoli sprouts" can protect skin from the damaging effects of UV rays. More here--this sounds weird but the data actually looks pretty impressive.

Vinegar: Pour it On Your Head!
'Cause it helps fight dandruff. And vinegar can make your coffee taste better, keep your eggs from cracking, and do a bunch of other cool stuff. Mark's Daily Apple has these and other uses for what must be the all-time handiest item in your kitchen cabinets.

Swear at Work: It's Good for Productivity!
Via the always informative Healthbolt: This interesting article claims that Crabby's favorite hobby, swearing, can actually be good for productivity and workplace morale. F*ckin' A! This is great news! However, the authors caution against swearing in front of senior staff members or customers, which unfortunately takes quite a bit of the fun out of it.

Special bonus: Sara over at the Healthbolt post encourages you to go ahead and swear in her comments section. Crabby did it, with no asterisks or anything. It's really fun, try it!

(Another good blog for swearing, of course, is the reliably funny Fitness Fixation. Kelly swears all the time, thank goodness.)

Stop the Dog From Farting?
According to the Bag Lady, (who just started her own blog, hooray!) a tablespoon of plain yogurt mixed into dry dog food can help with this unpleasant but not uncommon problem. (She also has further tips on that Miracle Substance mentioned above, vinegar, and lots of amusing stories).

Ensure Your Own Quadruple Bypass!
Blame Jim at Chew On That, not Crabby, for any catastrophic diet failures that may result from clicking on this link. Jim passes on the secrets to homemade Snickers Bars, Peanut Butter Cups and other familiar but ridiculously evil Halloween treats.

Sprinkle Chili Powder In Your Doorways?
Yes--to repel ants without pesticides! Jennifer from Tree Hugging Family also fights cockroaches with garlic and will tell you how to make the World's Ugliest Fruit Fly Catcher.

On a More Serious Note--Check out These Fine Blogs and Sites:
Not all our contributors are silly all the time like Crabby is. Find out from Reb what chemo is really like, and get information on death and dying and palliative care from Marijke's new website. Also, Soap Box Girl posted a very touching tribute to her mother on what would have been her birthday. Crabby got all teary reading it and you might too.

Now On To The Gratuitous Animal Links!
Otherwise, how would you know this was a Random Friday?

First off, Hilary and Frank both have some great photos (and even a video!) of a Jack Russell Terrier bravely protecting the world from the onslaught of Killer Waves.

And we must thank Chicken Girl for alerting us to all the wonderful lolcat weirdness at icanhascheezburger.



So, yeah, these cat pictures aren't really "health" or "exercise" related, but, well, work with Crabby on this.



Have a great weekend everyone!