Positive Thinking: New Reasons to Say The Hell With It

At Cranky Fitness, we are not known for Excessive Optimism, Unrestrained Cheerfulness, or Gratuitous Positivity--unless there's an actual reason to be positive. And, um, how often does that tend to happen?

I've even been an advocate of Negative Thinking, if it's the sensible kind. (My philosophy, in brief: Anticipate the negative and plan for the worst, but appreciate the hell out of it when the bad things don't actually happen!)

Plus, if a blogger named Crabby McSlacker can't defend pessimism, then who the heck else will?

Well... it turns out that in the battle against relentless Positivity, I've got some new allies!

The folks at Time Magazine*** just did an article on the futility of positive thinking that contradicts everything you ever heard before. The article's title? "Yes, I Suck: Self-Help Through Negative Thinking."

Basically, it discusses research showing that "trying to get people to think more positively can actually have the opposite effect: it can simply highlight how unhappy they are." And it introduced me to a whole "third wave of therapy" based on accepting, rather than fighting negative thoughts.

Think that sounds totally backwards and crazy-assed?

Well, so do some of the more traditional cognitive psychologists! So it seems there's a little cognitive catfight going on.

Note: no Cognitive Psychologists
were harmed during this dramatization.
Photo: Icanhascheeseburger

Why Does Happy Talk Sometimes Backfire?

According to the Time Magazine roundup, research tends to show that when people hear an argument they don't believe, it makes them even more likely to cling to their original position.

Not buying it? Well, as an example, they ask you to picture a light-night bar debate in which someone claims that "Sarah Palin is brilliant," or that "Michael Jackson was not a freak." OK, now see how that works?

And a new positivity study suggests that this same obstinacy may kick in when it comes to positive self-talk. In particular, if a person with low self esteem tries to repeatedly tell themselves that they are lovable, it doesn't raise their self esteem--it lowers it!


Don't Fight the Feelings

So now there's a relatively new approach to therapy that incorporates research like this into the futility of changing negative thoughts. It's called "ACT," for "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy."

Spokes-shrink Steven Hayes says we should "acknowledge that negative thoughts recur throughout life," and instead of trying to challenge them, "we should concentrate on identifying and committing to our values."

What should we do with these negative thoughts? Instead of arguing with them, Hayes advocates observing them with mindfulness, defusing their power, and not getting entangled in them.

For example, instead of saying to yourself "I'm depressed," Hayes thinks you should say "I'm having the thought that I'm depressed."

You're also supposed to work on clarifying your values, and moving towards actually living them. Do you say you value your friends and community and physical well-being, but somehow spend every weekend sitting in front of the TV scarfing cheetos by yourself?

Whoops!


It All Get's Too F*cking Arcane and Tedious for Me, Though

I was initially intrigued, because while I believe in the efficacy of more traditional cognitive therapy in a LOT of situations, other times it just seems a little too fake and cheerleadery. Sometimes life just sucks, and the pessimistic view is not "irrational," and efforts to take a crappy situation and paint it over with falsely positive happy talk can indeed seem counterproductive.

However, my initial curiosity about ACT and this whole "third wave" thing was dampened a bit once I started reading more. "Relational frame theory" and "functional contextualism" and how is it different from "dialectical behavioral therapy," blah blah blah--it's the same kind of incomprehensible mumbo-jumbo psychological theories always seem to employ in order to sound scholarly and serious. Someday, with a bit more patience, I'll have to wade in and find out if there are good practical ideas for dealing with counter-productive thinking lurking behind the jargon.

(But then I also heard rumors from the Traditional Cognitive Therapy people that ACT people were just a big ol' new age cult and they and make people wear silly hats and use secret handshakes discourage dissent. What do I know? But check out the photo of their Leader-- it does indeed look kinda scary.)

UPDATE! STEVEN HAYES HIMSELF COMMENTED ON THIS POST, ADDRESSING SOME OF MY HALF-ASSED CRITICISMS; SEE BELOW!


Why Choose?

Here's what I think: if you have negative thoughts that are getting in your way and it helps to argue with them, then argue with them! Replace them with happier, more positive thoughts.

But if the negative thoughts persist despite your efforts, then accept them as thoughts and don't let them control you. Focus on your goals instead.

Whatever works!

Or, if all else fails, try Crabby's Home Remedy: whine a little, then go for a nice long walk, then come home and curl up with a comforting beverage and cuddle with a cat, dog, child, significant other, rabbit, pet rock, garden gnome, security blanket, or whatever makes you happy.

And if you still want to join a cult? Crankyism is always on the lookout for new recruits!


***Confidential Aside to Time Magazine:

OK, thanks very much for the research and all, but fer cryin' out loud, how is anyone supposed to take your online articles seriously when they're full of these ridiculous computer-generated links for totally unrelated crap? Like these two had "see pictures of couples in love," "see pictures of people mourning the death of Michael Jackson," and "see pictures of facial yoga." WTF???

So, how do you folks deal with negative thoughts? Fight them, accept them, obsess about them, defuse them, believe them, ignore them?

Crabby Goes to Boot Camp?

Long-time Cranky Fitness readers (all 3 of you; hi there!) may wonder if they've somehow been sucked through a wormhole and transported to an alternate, upside-down universe. Because for the second time in less than a week, the stubborn Crab is trying something new! First it was Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred and now...

Boot Camp??!!!

I'm shocked myself about this latest development. Here is how I always pictured Boot Camp:

Photo: muscl_mc

And I did not envision myself ever having to endure this experience! Unless maybe I was forced to at gunpoint. But since there are very few gun-toting thugs roaming around my neighborhood forcing people to go to exercise classes, I felt pretty safe assuming Boot Camp was something I never had to worry about.

But I was wrong! (Not about the roaming gun-toting exercise thugs. Still haven't seen 'em around).

So, what curious set of circumstances conspired to drag my cranky ass down to a local Boot Camp class this last Saturday morning? And what did I think of it? And does this story have a moral, or a happy ending, or a humiliating conclusion, or is it just going to be one long continuous bout of whining and silly digressions?

(And the answers are: yes, yes, no, yes!)

5 Good Reasons I Thought I Would Never Go to Boot Camp:

1. The name "Boot Camp" itself freaks me out. It invokes a military training experience specially designed to break down recruits, both physically and mentally, rendering them exhausted, humiliated, obedient and pliable. Boot camp is supposed to be awful--that's the point! And how do I know this? Um, well, I go to the movies!

(Apparently they don't let women wear bras there either).

2. I've already paid for a gym membership this summer. To pay for an exercise class in addition to a gym membership when they offer classes at the gym? Unthinkable! So what if the classes are the wrong kind and are offered at inconvenient times and I have yet to go to one--it's the principle of the thing. I ALREADY PAID!

3. There is no Music in Bootcamp. (At least not this one).

4. Unlike Jillian Michaels who is imprisoned inside the tv and doesn't even know I'm watching her, a Bootcamp instructor is an actual live person who can see me. This means I can not totally blow off the instructions and do something completely different unless I want to look like a total assh@le.

5. Exercise that is grueling or unpleasant violates my religion, Crankyism, and Boot Camp sounded like a surefire recipe for Sin.


Why I Went Anyway:

1. It's offered a block from my house.

2. The Lobster wanted to do it and we have friends in the class.

3. I have been having trouble motivating to go to the gym lately.

4. Like, really, a LOT of trouble. I'd rather go for a colonoscopy.

5. I mean, seriously, it's like I HATE HATE HATE the gym all of a sudden. WTF is up with that, anyway?


And so here's a list I never thought in a million years I'd be making:


What I Loved About My First Bootcamp Class!

1. The Instructor was motivating and fun without being excessively perky.

2. The class drew a range of ages and ability levels but no one was really hard-core superfit. And we were encouraged to customize the intensity of the exercises, so everyone got a good workout but no one got their butts totally kicked.

3. Everyone was really nice, plus they all whined and complained companionably about anything that was the least bit difficult, just like I do. Paradoxically, this made me weirdly motivated to work out harder!

4. It was a nice mix of functional exercises which, when done intensely enough, I think counted for HIIT. Or at least they counted for SHIIT.

5. And I didn't have to think! It's been a long time since I've taken a class, and I'd forgotten how freeing it is to have someone else order your ass around for a while.

In summary: boot camp unexpectedly ROCKED! I believe I will be back!

And the moral of the story is: sometimes the Gun Toting Thugs take way too long to show up at your door! (Or something like that).


Any one else out there have a good boot camp experience? Tempted to try it? Or No Way In Hell?

Exercise, Good Health, And Pot Holes

So recently I wrote a de-motivational post about exercise. I do that sometimes. In this one, I outlined the sophisticated mental coaching techniques I use to resist fitness challenges, even the tempting ones like the "100 Burpee Challenge."

Why would I be so mean, when all of you are doing your best to try to get fitter and stronger, not more slothful and lame?

Well first off, Cranky Fitness is not the most serious of health blogs. (Helpful Research Tip: when searching for a completely serious health blog, try one that does not contain the word "whining" in the subtitle. Frequent use of words like "crap" and "dorkitude" and "asshat" are also signs that you are not in the right place).

But also, the post had a secret agenda. I was not just trying to recruit more people into my exercise religion, Crankyism. (Although we have tons of extra slankets in the warehouse and could use a few more converts). I also was trying to do some good things, too, like:

1. Sneakily point out to the super-fit folks that there was yet another challenge to take on that they might be interested in;

2. Post a burpee video so that people could find out what burpees were if they ever wanted to try a new exercise; and

3. Encourage the no-way-in-hell people in their exercise endeavors by subtly pointing out that Crabby McSlacker is herself a no-way-in-hell person--yet she still drags her lazy ass to the gym somewhat regularly.

See how that works? "Demotivating" on the surface, but buried within: creamy filling! pro-exercise subliminal messages! And that's actually the secret formula for many Crabby McSlacker posts. (That and sloppy google research and ungrammatical sentence fragments and strike-out type).

But if you want a truly demotivational article about exercise? I know where you can find one.

Demotivation Warning

Heading off for a tough work-out and want reassurance it's all worth it? Might want to avoid the Health Page at the New York Times.

I was over on there recently and came across a prominently featured article: "Does Exercise Really Keep Us Healthy?"

Well, the title is ominous enough. It's like you don't title an article "Are America's Highways Really Safe?" if you think the answer is yes, they're really safe, gosh darn it! You only call it that if you intend to talk about 50 car pile ups, crumbling overpasses, potholes the size of elephants, and long-haul truckers on meth.

No worries, it's all good!

But stupid me, I actually wanted to find out: Does Exercise Really Keep Us Healthy?

Watch Out, The Answer is Kind of a Downer.

Gina Kolata, whom I usually like, got me really grumpy with this one. She basically takes all those 87 thousand studies you've seen that say how great exercise is great for you, and dismisses or minimizes most all of them.

"While exercise can boost mood, its health benefits have been oversold." All that stuff about heart disease and cancer and blood pressure and osteoporosis and weight loss? She argues that most of the data is either inconclusive (because exercisers tend to have healthier habits to begin with than non-exercisers) or says that at best, the benefits are very, very modest.

She points out for example, a study that showed that "the average amount of muscle that men gained after a serious 12-week weight-lifting program was 2 kilograms, or 4.4 pounds. That added muscle would increase the metabolic rate by only 24 calories a day."

Enjoy!

Photo: KansasCity Dale

So What To Do With This Annoying Information?

Several possibilities occurred to me:

1. Dig up all the studies I've ever seen that say exercise is really good for your health and assess whether they meet the criteria discussed in the article, or if they were all actually bullshit studies.

2. Re-evaluate all my assumptions about exercise and health. Figure out if I still really want to do the hard stuff I hate if it's not doing much more than "improving my mood."

3. Pretend I didn't see the article because I don't like what it says, despite the fact that it's in the New York Times, which is supposed to be generally reliable source for health news.

4. Write a whiny blog post about about the demotivating New York Times article, assuming that since the article is prominently featured on the page it must have come out recently, and then discover after writing two thirds of the blog post that the stupid thing came out over a year ago and is now old news and probably no one cares, but decide to finish the blog post anyway, because what blogger wants to start over after writing two thirds of a post?

As you can see, I went with option 4!

But for those looking for I-don't-want-to-exercise excuses, you might want to check it out and see if you found it more convincing than I did.


The Real Message Behind The DeMotivating Article?

I think what's behind the whole "exercise is oversold" argument is a valid point: many people think exercise is some sort of miracle weight loss and health solution that will fix everything and make them thin.

For the record: you can not "erase" the effects of a 4,000 calorie junk food dinner with a 150 calorie stroll around the neighborhood or even an intense 800 calorie cross-country run! And you gotta do lots of other things for optimum health, like eat right and not smoke and watch your stress levels and get enough sleep and floss your teeth, etc, etc.

And even if you do exercise constantly you still might be overweight and might even have a heart attack if your genes are plotting against you. It's my belief you'd be at even higher risk for obesity and early death if you were sedentary.


As Much as I Whine About it, I Still Believe in Exercise

I can't erase the cumulative effects of reading, for decades, all kinds of studies saying exercise is awesome for your body and your long-term health. Nor can I ignore how much better I feel when I get regular exercise. So the heck with the New York Times; I'm not doing anything different.

What do you guys think? Does exercise seem essential to your good health, or do you think its benefits are only very modest and it's way oversold? Or are you somewhere in between?

The Cranky Fitness Resistance Challenge!

Image credit: fouro

Any normal health blogger writing about a "fitness challenge" would first propose a laudable fitness goal, break it down into small steps, and then urge everyone to join along and see how much we can all accomplish together!

But hey, this is Cranky Fitness. Those of you expecting a sincere, helpful, motivational pep-talk about Striving and Achieving and a nudge towards Doing your Utmost--where the heck did you wander in from? Maybe you were googling "big fat ass," "flat belly diet," or "fitness porn?" (Three of our most popular search terms--we're so proud!)

Anyway, you may have noticed that there are a lot of fitness challenges out there in blogland. They've got the "Couch to 10-K" and the "100 Push-Ups Challenge" and the "Nine Zillion Sit-Ups Challenge" and whatever. From what I can tell, these things work really well for most people. Fitness challenges may seem grueling at times, and not everyone finishes, but the majority of y'all seem to get pretty pumped about taking them on and quite pleased about succeeding. (Our own Merry Sunshine, for example, triumphed over the 100 Push Up Challenge. Hooray!)

However, I am not Merry Sunshine. I too saw lots of posts about 100 push ups, but this did not motivate me to do 100 push ups. A hundred is a big number.

No, this is not Crabby, but it's exactly how the prospect of 100 push-ups makes her feel.
Photo: raggle

Most importantly, rigorous physical fitness challenges are prohibited by my religion, Crankyism.

I admit, it's tough to be a devout Crankyist. Crankyism requires the ritual wearing of Slankets, the consumption of virtuous but unappealing vegetables balanced by the enjoyment of celebratory cupcakes, and frequent attendance at the Church of The Most Holy Gymnasium.

Wanna join my religion? Order now, operators are standing by!

Crankyism also has demanding rules of conduct. Too much slacking is a sin! On the other hand, there is a strict prohibition against partaking in activities that sound exceptionally unpleasant. And a hundred push-ups, or 200 sit-ups, or 26 miles of running all in a row, rather than sensibly spread out over a couple of weeks? That would violate my religious principles.

However, even a devout Crankyist is sometimes tempted by cool-sounding challenges. What to do?

For anyone thinking of abandoning their cheerful go-get-'em approach to physical fitness and taking up Crankyism instead, you may need some guidance in situations like this. So I'm proposing a different sort of challenge...

The Cranky Fitness Resistance Challenge! No, this kind of "resistance training" had nothing to do with building your muscles by lifting big-ass heavy things. It simply calls for you to resist taking part in the next fitness challenge that comes along.

I did it; you can too. Peer inside the brain of Crabby McSlacker (acck! it's weird in there!) and discover the exact process by which I was able to resist a recent Fitness Challenge Temptation myself.


The temptation: The 100 Burpee Challenge. (What is a burpee? See the video below).

The temptress: Hoop, who commented on Merry's water cooler post and led me to the evil, evil Burpee Challenge site. But what should I expect from a woman who plays rugby and throws people out of widows? (Or perhaps that's not what she meant by 'defenestration?') Anyway, she sounds way too fit and fierce for me to be taking exercise advice from.

Why The Challenge is So Tempting:

1. I can do burpees! I even did some on our recent cross-country trip, at rest stops, to the amusement of squabbling families and truckers on their lunch breaks. (Note: bring gardening gloves if you want to seriously try this.)

2. I watched this video demonstration which convinced me that if I could just do more, better burpees, then I too would be muscular, fit, attractive and 20 years younger. (And watch the whole thing if you want to know why I really got jealous. I want to be able to do that cool ring thing!)





3. The challenge starts off with just one Burpee, and works day by day up to 100. So I got the first week or two nailed already!

4. Maybe I could turn it into a Blog Thing and get a bunch of us doing Burpees together. And then you guys would tell all your friends, and then some famous actress would google "Burpee Challenge" and get mine instead of the real one, and she'd tell Oprah about it, and pretty soon Cranky Fitness would be famous too and well on it's way to World Domination!

Oh my goodness, this is really starting to sound tempting now! What to do?

Hmm.... I know that doing "negatives" is really helpful trick in breaking through other sorts of "resistance" plateaus, like when you're struggling with pull-ups... let's try that concept here and see if going negative will help!

Bring it On!

There must lots of reasons not to try to do 100 Burpees. Yep, now that I'm properly negatively motivated, they're coming fast and furious.

1. After the first 3 or so, I hate burpees! I kinda forgot that. Do I seriously think that burpee number 67, for example, is going to be more fun than burpee number 4?

2. I will probably give up and fail anyway! Even cool people sometimes do. For example Shauna, the Amazing Diet Girl, failed the 100 Push-Up Challenge. True, she had a good reason, which was because she was already doing a bunch of other things like weight training and kickboxing classes. As she explained: "We always do heaps of push ups at kickboxing and I hated looking pissweak in class because I'd fried my arms the night before doing the Hundred Push Up Challenge."

(Note to self: must start working the expression "pissweak" into conversations, it's a winner!)

3. I still haven't accomplished the last challenge I set for myself, almost a year ago, which was to complete one freakin' unassisted pull-up. (I did one chin up though... before I started slacking on the cross-country trip and I can't even do that anymore). Ironically, the thing that's got me stalled with the damn pull-ups, in addition to general laziness, is that I hate negatives, which seem to be critical. Too bad I seem to embrace all things negative except actual negatives!

4. The Burpee Challenge participants themselves are making a great case for staying way the hell away. I mean, sure, there are some who are cruising through all empowered and shit, but a lot of them are dropping out from serious injuries or abject misery. (One of my favorite posts on that site is a break up letter to Burpees, but alas its author Frankie is not a Crankyist and apparently perseveres anyway.)

5. The 100 day challenge is almost over! No way in hell I'm jumping in on day 95 or whatever and trying to make up for lost time.

Whew! I feel so invigorated now! Success!!!! I have no residual desire to start doing daily burpees.

How about you folks, do you like fitness challenges? Do they motivate you? Or are there any other Crankyists out there who won't go near 'em?