On the Road Again...

 By Crabby McSlacker

Are you ready for a blog post chock full of healthy travel tips, amusing anecdotes, surprising discoveries, inspiring advice, and breathtaking photos of scenery and wildlife?

Oops, sorry! You probably want to type a different URL up there in your search bar. Did you not realize this was Cranky Fitness?

As it happens, I've done some decent "on the road" posts before, both of the "holy crap look how pretty this is" variety, as well as the "here's how to exercise at gas stations even if people think you're a psycho" kind. But we've only got a brief layover on this, our eleven thousandth cross-country schlep, and there's laundry to do and email to catch up on and other miscellaneous shit to take care of while we're not rolling down the road at 75 miles an hour.

But for today, I do have at least a few hiking pictures and one Important Cross Country Road Trip Lesson Learned.

Take a (Korean) Hike

Guest post by Jan Bono

Crabby is still in blog-slacking mode; she swears she is working hard on her novel-in-progress, though with her obsessive tendency to rewrite, and the distractions and demands of even her easy life, the pages do not seem to be piling up very fast. But be assured she is having fun, and continuing to plod along, and she will eventually complete the damn thing--which she will then try to wheedle you all into reading. Gosh, how you must be looking forward to THAT fine day! 

However, even with Crabby gone AWOL so much, Cranky Fitness simply will not die. Crabby is very grateful for the help of guest contributors to keep things going until Crabby gets her act together better as a blogger. So this week Cranky Fitness contributor Jan Bono is up to bat again, with another tale of her far-flung fitness adventures.  Jan is author of “Back from Obesity: My 252-pound Weight-Loss Journey”and you can get it in print or as an ebook on Jan's smashwords page) --Crabby.

My American friends living in Korea are avid hikers. And so, apparently, are the vast majority of native Koreans. Naturally, during my visit in June to this lovely country, I joined right in, although hiking the hills of Korea to stay fit had never crossed my mind when I packed for my trip!

When Fitness Doesn't Suck at All

By Crabby McSlacker

This was originally going to be a long rambling photo-filled post about trying (and often failing) to make healthy choices while on vacation.

The short version?

I did pretty well on exercise but I made some pretty egregious choices when it came to food.  I am so not the "role model" kind of health blogger, but you guys already knew that.

Awesome Active Wear, Clever Backpacks, and Sneaky Bloggers

Yep, this is a product review post: some Kuhl active wear, (the shorts pictured above), as well as a Kuhl top and pair of pants, plus an Airbac Journey backpack.

And yes, it's a bit annoying when a blogger devotes a post to a bunch of pictures of herself wearing stuff she got for free and telling you what's good about them and what's not, but on the other hand...

Um, on the other hand....

Well shoot, at some point I'll figure out why it's not as annoying as it sounds.

 So, what's the "sneaky"part?

Happy Trails: Thoughts on Camping, Plus A Re-Giveaway!

 All Photos by the clever Lobster

You know those inspiring photo-bloggers like Hilary at The Smitten Image who go out into the world, capture beautiful moments, and string them together with graceful prose? Not only do you get to enjoy stunning images of nature, but there's usually some sort of subtle but powerful observation about hope, or resilience, or the transience of life or some other deep topic.

Here at Cranky Fitness, we're not so highbrow.

Having just come back from a camping trip, I've been scratching my head trying to come up with some justification to post pictures, and nothing Deep is coming to mind.  Somehow "hey, look at me out in the desert with the Lobster having a great time!" doesn't sound all that health-related, high-minded, or helpful.  Especially given that some of you may be facing sleet, snow, rain, and/or locusts and plague, and may not be in the mood for our antics in the desert.

But, well, theme, schmeme, I've got a few pics to put up! And heck, you may want to stick around anyway for the Healthy Snack Re-Giveaway. Just leave a comment below if you've got a U.S. mailing address and would like to win a cute T-Shirt and Snack Assortment from the Human Vending Machine folks.  Last weeks' winner didn't check back in in time to claim her prize, so I'll redraw from this weeks comments.

OK, so some random thoughts and pictures...

Things You Should Take With You To Go Camping:

Let's see, you definitely need a tent, some sleeping bags, backpacks, camp stove, water purifier, flashlights....

Hell no, you certainly don't! Not if you're spoiled and middle-aged. You just need this:

Fran the Van Returns!

And this:

The Lobster, Most Awesome Human Ever
And Expert at Doing All That Is Useful

As a younger person, I did plenty of the backpacking, hitchhiking, primitive camping thing.  And while I still think it's a great character-building experience, I've got all the character I need now, thank you very much!  Give me a bed, an indoor toilet, a tasty grilled steak (grassfed, organic, humanely raised, and shockingly expensive), a chilled bottle of champagne, and a cup of hot coffee in the morning that I don't have to rub two sticks together to produce.

Roughing It Is Overrated.

Things That Seem Like Bad Things Can Be Good Things:

So the above photo is cheating, because it's from a previous trip in which we encountered the dreaded news that the campground was full. However, like our detour to Bisbee, Arizona, the Full Campground sign that greeted us this time was really a blessing in disguise. We found out from the friendly folks at the visitors center that we could just park off-road until we needed hook-ups, and they sent us to a lovely spot with a nice view that was Free Free Free Free!

Being Out in Nature is Awesome Even if It's Not Your Favorite Kind of Nature.

Confession: neither of us are huge fans of your basic garden-variety desert landscape. We prefer mountains, coasts, forests, streams, or spectacular formations of red rocks like in Bryce, Zion, or Sedona.

But I know many of you totally dig the subtle beauty of a landscape not burdened with the distraction of lush green pretty things, or pretty much any color at all except for two minutes or so in spring when the wildflowers are out.

Well, Gray and Brown are Colors Too.  Sort Of.

Yet... we're here in San Diego, and there's a desert close by, and so we went.  And we had some really enjoyable hikes! We weren't quite quick enough with the camera, but we saw dozens of jack rabbits with big goofy ears, and we almost literally ran into some big horn sheep when we came around a corner and they were standing there staring at us.  Oddly enough, they had really big horns.

And there was flora as well as fauna!  Fortunately cactus are not as speedy as jack rabbits or big horn sheep so the Lobster managed to catch one or two.

Perhaps not the best place to take a seat.

Oh, and check this out: On our last night, The Lobster not only grilled us up our lovely steaks, she also managed to generate some smoke during the process that appears to be taking over the entire universe.  Are your eyes itching right now?  Sorry, but it was worth it for that delicious dinner!

Quick Quiz! Can you guess what this next series of 4 photos illustrates?

a.  Trailaerobic Functional Conditioning!  It's the next fitness craze I was going to announce that's going to make me a ton of money once I put out a DVD series.  It requires no equipment at all, just access to a handy desert rock-strewn trail.  And heck, so what if you live in, say, Anchorage or Saskatoon or Pittsburgh? What's a little airfare and RV rental when your fitness is at stake?! Operators are standing by.

b.  A Cautionary Tale: What happens when you wake up feeling insanely energetic, proceed to drink way too much coffee anyway, hit the trail, get amped up listening to your favorite dj's awesome mp3 podcast...yet need to stick close to a more sensible hiking partner due to mountain lion warnings?  You end up acting like a complete asshole on the trail and dancing around, skipping, improvising various workout moves, and hoping the mountain lions are too freaked out by your craziness to come snooping around.

c.  Crabby Has Been Trying Hard To Get Back In Shape And Is Vain And Superficial Enough to Want to Show Off a Little.  The supposed need for some trail-side workout pictures for a blog post... was it just a subconscious excuse to lift something on camera before my newly acquired muscle definition is gone again?  Following surgery and various injuries, I couldn't hit the gym for quite a long time. Then I started dealing with some post-menopausal weight gain. So I started working out harder and even began counting calories.  Lately it seems my efforts have finally started to pay off, and I'm feeling strangely fit, healthy, and energetic.  Life being what it is, it probably won't be long before something else derails me or I get lazy, so I wanted to get something on camera ASAP!

The answer?  All of the Above!

And now on to the Re-Giveaway:

If you've got a U.S. mailing address, just leave a comment on this post and I'll re-draw end of day Wednesday, January 25th.  And be sure to check back before the end of the day Sunday the 29th to claim your prize!


Anyone else got any thoughts on mini-vacations, hiking, camping, being superficial, healthy vending machine snacks, feeling energetic, or life in general?  It's all good!

Passing Thoughts

Photo: FotoFling Scotland

Remember last week, when I was all "why should I whine about healthy eating and exercise, when it's all so much fun?"

Well, seriously, how long did you think that would last? Anyway, it's back to more whining, and this time it's a weird one. But bear with me, perhaps another unexpected bout of cheerfulness will break out again soon!

So one of the great things about summer weather, at least if you don't live somewhere scorching hot, is that you get more chances to abandon the gym and go outdoors. Instead of logging dreary imaginary miles on a treadmill, you can run or walk actual physical miles on a trail or path. It feels great to have that tangible feeling of getting somewhere as you exercise!

Whereas if you and your elliptical machine are managing to get very far across the floor of the gym? You are probably doing something wrong.

But here's the thing: say you are outside running, walking, biking, skating, skiing, or pogo-sticking. What if you discover that you are not alone, and there is another person traveling the same portion of the same route, in the same direction, at the same time?

Either you both need to go the exact same speed, to maintain separation, or the faster person is going to have to overtake the slower person.

If there is enough space, this is not a huge problem.



However, in many locations, such as narrow trails or congested paths, some co-operation may be required between the Passer and the Passee. Particularly if either travels in groups. Being a cranky misanthrope, I sometimes have issues with how the whole passing thing plays out.

Anyone else?

I Have Opinions About Everything

This includes how fast I travel. I don't want to have speed up to keep from being in someone's way, nor do I want to get caught behind someone meandering along when I'm in a hurry to get somewhere or am trying to keep my heart-rate up.

So "adjusting my pace" ain't gonna happen. If there is someone else going my direction on the road, trail, or bike path, some sort of passing is going to take place.


Nothing Personal, But Get The Hell Away From Me!

Combined with my go-my-own-speed stubbornness is another trait which makes the passing thing such an issue: I hate to share my personal space with strangers, no matter how nice these strangers might be.

I am happy to smile and wave and comment on the weather or the scenery; I even like these friendly interactions. But I do not want to travel alongside, right behind, or right in front of other folks. I do not want to hear their observations or smell their cologne or stare at their lycra-clad asses. Ideally, the Passer(s) should speed up during the passing process, and the Passee(s) should make way and perhaps slow down a bit until optimal separation is again achieved.

And because I find this process awkward, if I am hiking and there is someone coming up behind me and getting closer and closer, I am hyper-aware of it. If I hear voices, or the crunch crunch crunch of footsteps behind me, I want nothing more than to squeeze off to the side and let folks by.

The poor Lobster, who is not as hypersensitive about personal space when hiking, has been many times interrupted in the midst of a perfectly pleasant conversation by my alarmed cries of "there's someone behind us, let's move over!" As though hiking trails were entirely populated by serial killers, zombies, and life insurance salesmen, requiring constant vigilance to avoid any dangerous or costly interactions.

Likewise, if we are hiking and come up on a person or a group ahead of us, and there's no room to skooch around unless they move over, I immediately start worrying about whether they'll let us pass. Also, being shy, I dislike making confrontational announcements. And I know, to say: "Excuse me! Can we get by?" might not seem confrontational to a normal person. But to me it feels exactly like I'm bellowing "Hey You Lazy-Asses, We're Comin' Through, Get the F*ck Outta Our Way!" I tend to use this technique only as a last resort.

So anyway, in my mind, here the top trail "offenders":


The Inexcusably Oblivious

The most common trail-blocking phenomenon happens when a single person or a group is taking the entire width of a trail or bike lane or whatever, unaware that there is someone behind them who wants to pass. Now if it's a totally remote location where company is not expected, this behavior is completely excusable, and therefore, not irritating.

However, if it's a heavily used route, and a group spreads itself out across all the available space, then it is my opinion that they should be vigilant about faster runners or hikers or bikers coming up from behind, and when hearing approaching voices and shuffling feet, should take the initiative to move over!

The Stubbornly Obstructive

These are even worse. They hear you coming, look around to confirm that you are approaching, and then refuse to move over, figuring you can just wait until they're ready to take a break to get by.

In this case, I will abandon shyness and bark out the icky: "Excuse Me!"

Assh*les.


The Laid-Back Parents and the Hyperactive Kids

It's so wholesome and adorable when family groups take to the hiking trails! Except when the parents allow their exuberant children to run freely ahead, "racing" the hikers ahead of them and crowding past, then turning right back around and returning to their parents, then racing past again, then returning, over and over and over again. Sure, eventually they tire of this game, but in the meantime they are learning this valuable lesson from their parents: "You do not need to worry about whether you might be irritating other people with your behavior or not. Other people do not matter!"


The Overly Competitive

So I'm going to be sexist here and overgeneralize: this seems to be mainly a male phenomenon.

Some men hate to be passed by anyone, but especially by women. They will speed up to avoid it, even if they have to struggle to maintain their new, faster pace.

Which would be fine--go ahead and have a heart attack if your ego is that important to you--except that often they will forget after a while and slow back down. And then you have to clear your throat and cough to prompt them to speed up, or you have to pass them again, knowing that this will just incite them to pass you again in return.

Dudes: if you're getting passed by people, male or female, who come up from behind it probably means they are faster than you. However hard this may be to deal with, how about just take a deep breath and get over it?

No can do? Well, if you are a male runner and it is truly important to you to pretend women can't run faster than you, here's an idea: employ the Emergency Windsprint Fake-Out Maneuver.

Instructions:

1. On discovering that a Girl is about to pass you, pick up the pace and break into an all out sprint, as though you'd been doing an interval workout and your real running speed was just your "recovery" pace.

2. Continue sprinting past the Girl for as far as you can until you are almost ready to throw up. (But stop short of actual barfing as this move is not all that impressive.)

3. Check your watch and act like "oh whoops, look at the time-- guess that's it for today!" even if you just started your run. Walk around and do a quad stretch or something to drive the point home as the Girl runs by.

4. Once she's out of sight, jog at your own pace back to your starting point and finish your run in the opposite direction. Think about doing some intervals For Real next time.

5. Repeat every time a woman attempts to pass you until you either get faster or get over yourself.

Is anyone else this nuts about sharing trails and paths with other people, or is just one of those special Crab neuroses?

Advice for the out-of-shape hiker

This weekend, I went hiking in the Columbia gorge. Even fairly fit people find some of these hikes to be a bit strenuous -- at least, I noticed even athletic people were breathing heavily. Also, the faces of the people going up the hill (okay, cliff) were invariably serious and fairly quiet. People coming down again were smiling and chattering.

Taking lots of small breaks gives you a lot of time to think about things. In particular, I found myself thinking of ways to deal with the issues of being an out-of-shape hiker going up a hill with fit companions.

Some ideas:

1. Nag your friends to keep up. If you do this right, with a finely tuned combination of seriousness and sarcasm, they won't feel guilty about forging ahead while you catch your breath. It's awful to be the one holding the group up.

2. When going up the trail, get behind a slow poke. You're not going to get there faster by pushing yourself. (Unless it's a realllly small hill.) Out-of-shape hikers are usually much worse at pacing themselves than in-shape hikers.

I'd like to hike behind these guys
Photo credit: aussiegal

3. Bring a camera. That way, it's not a break, "I'm just stopping a moment to take this shot." (The drawback here is that if you're panting really hard, your hands might shake. Blame any blurry photos on very minor earthquakes.)

(You get extra points for unusual shots, such as shooting a waterfall from above.)

3a. In particular, take pictures that show how steep the path was. This tends to impress the sedentary folk back home. Tales about hiking are like tales about the fish that got away. No one tends to believe you without evidence.



4. Don't stress. Everybody has somebody faster than they are. In particular, it's pretty likely that your husband/wife/partner will have different views in regards to fast/slow. (It's a written-in-stone rule of the universe that couples will disagree in some fundamental area of life, such as hot/cold, budget/splurge, tastes great/less filling.)

5. Enjoy yourself. Hiking provides its own rewards.

6. Also, it's a good idea to develop an interest in botany or geology. Or any other damn thing that gives you a reason to catch your breath.

7. Write a blog post about hiking. That way, you can take a break to scribble notes on the hike, which gives you a chance to catch your breath.


Serious note: After the hike, when I got to the bottom again, I saw an ambulance and paramedics. In this case, they were there because of injuries caused by rock falls, but it is true that not everyone who goes up these hills is in shape to do so. In a way, exercise-induced asthma can be quite helpful -- long before my heart gets overworked, I have to stop to breathe. Be careful.

Are there any other out-of-shape hikers who have some hard-won advice they could share? Or any in-fit hikers who could share what it's like to be a fit hiker with a slug companion? When it comes to this topic, I have a lot to learn.

Going "Off-Road"

[By Crabby]

Here at Cranky Fitness we are big fans of hiking, at least when we're not feeling petrified of lions, tigers, and bears.

Hiking is fun! Hiking is healthy, both physically and psychologically.

You can see wildflowers and redwood trees and pristine lakes and craggy mountains! You can see streams and birds and rabbits and frogs and coyotes!

But one thing you rarely see much of out in the wilderness?



That's right: Toilets.

You know how earlier we ran a post complaining about various aspects of public restrooms? (This being such a high-class blog). Well, depending on where you go hiking, there often aren't any to complain about.

Some people have capacious bladders and for them this is not a big deal.

Other people are male and for them it is not a big deal either (at least most of the time).

Still other people are small-bladdered females and even for lots of them it is no big deal. The gals who don't fret about it inevitably seem to find a convenient spot behind a rock or a bush or whatever and take advantage of their natural surroundings. They're back on the trail in a couple of quick minutes, feeling not only relieved but downright perky.

I am not one of those easy-going, no-fret-peeing sort of gals.

I hate going "off-road." Yet I do enough hiking that the "I'll just hold it 'til we get back" approach is not always practical.

Here are my tips for those who are not "naturals" but do like to go hiking enough to find yourself in distress.


How To Pee in The Wilderness if You Are Shy:


Before the Hike:

1. Be conscious of fluid consumption. Glass or two of water? Good idea--you need to stay hydrated! A triple latte followed by a 64 ounce Diet Pepsi? Not quite so good an idea.

2. Remember to pack Kleenex. (Those of us with allergies already have wads of used tissue in every pocket, but those of you don't have to blow your nose every ten minutes throughout the day may need to think ahead).

During the Hike:

3. Note the First Signs. Anywhere from 3 minutes to an hour or two into the hike, you may notice subtle signs of bladder accumulation. Sure, you don't have to go yet, but you realize maybe you could.

Crabby? It's Nature calling on Line 1.

4. Start Hunting for a Place Immediately. This is important, because ideal peeing spots tend to occur only when you don't actually need them. Waiting until you're desperate will virtually guarantee a lack of opportunity. If you want to magically turn a jungle full of humongous trees and thick brush into a sparse flat desert, just try looking for a place to pee in private.

5. Consider and Reject the First 5 or 6 or 40 Places You Find. Reasons for rejection can include: too far from the trail, too close to the trail, too steep, too slippery, too muddy, proximity to poison oak or poison ivy, not hidden enough, not hidden enough, not hidden enough, not hidden enough, not hidden enough.

(Note: the ideal place is so obscured from view that an entire squadron of Boy Scouts could pass within 6 inches of your little spot and not even notice. )

6. Keep in Mind Trails Have Two Directions. Have you ever done this? You bushwhack a few hundred yards through dense forest and finally find that perfect spot only to start to crouch down and realize that the trail has wound around and you're completely visible to people coming the other way?

7. Finally, Pick a Place and Hunker Down! Either because you've (a) found the perfect spot or (b) reached a state of desperation that makes any sort of cover acceptable.

8. Post a Lookout, if you have a companion. Make sure they are willing to throw themselves bodily across the path of approaching hikers if necessary to keep said hikers from viewing you in your Most Private Moment.

9. Remove the Kleenex from your Pocket BEFORE Squatting. Otherwise, you may have to stand up again, in a state of undress, in order to extricate it. And you will want to take care of business as speedily as possible, because "assuming the position" will guarantee either approaching hikers, or at least noises that will convince you that the aforementioned squadron of Boy Scouts is well within range.

10. Make Sure your Shoes are Not Positioned Downhill from the Rest of your Body. Do we need to explain why this is true? No, we do not. You are all aware of the laws of gravity.

11. Attempt to Commence Peeing.

12. Relax! Note that often urination will not commence if you are stressed about it. Try to forget that you are in a peeing outside in broad daylight and that people could come walking into view at any moment and that seconds count.

13. Repeat Steps 11-12 for as Long as Necessary.

14. Hooray, Successful State of Bladder Emptiness achieved!

15. Realize you Have to Stand up Again with your pants around your knees until you can wrestle them back on properly. Was the rock you are hiding behind always this short? Why was dropping down so much easier than standing up?

16. Put used Kleenex in your Pocket, since leaving it on the ground seems awfully eco-unfriendly. Important: note which pocket is the "bad Kleenex" pocket. Forgetting and then later recalling after you've blown your nose on it is not a pleasant experience.

17. Return to Trail, Smug and Relieved and Happy. You are a True Outdoorswoman Now!

(Note: There are actually products designed to aid in this process. However, I've never tried one because (a) I'd have to think ahead and order one, and (b) for some reason they scare me).

Does anyone else struggle with this particular Off Road Activity?

Great Hikes! In, um, pretty much Canada.

So in an earlier post, Crabby asked her smart readers for their hiking (and camping) recommendations, and readers came through! Crabby will just mention a bit about each hike; further details can be found at the "Great Hikes" page in Crabby's somewhat creepy Google Page Annex.

However, here's the funny thing: Crabby was all excited to tell you about one of the best hikes she can remember in recent years. It was a little far afield for her: it started at Lake O'Hara in Yoho Park in Canada. (The photo from the previous post, like this photo, were both from the same hike. The air was crisp; the peaks were snow-capped and the larches were golden. The whole hike was stunning. (These last photos were not ours, however; different time of year). Anyway, it was a fairly easy day hike; not a hardcore back-packy hike. However, there was a bus ride involved and reservations were required.

But... perhaps Crabby should have sent you to some of her other favorites instead: to coastal California perhaps, where you can hike gorgeous bluff trails, or to Yosemite or Glacier National Park, or Bryce or Zion or Yellowstone. Somewhere that's not in Canada? Because the majority of the other suggestions were also for hikes in Canada!

Crabby figures either: Canadian readers are more into hiking and camping than Americans (confirming her grouchy fears about US folks abandoning their parks) or: all the best hiking is in Canada and we should all move there right now.

Crabby loves the hiking at Banff and Jasper and Lake Louise and other well-trafficked locations, but readers were more clever and adventurous and sent in less obvious choices. And again, Crabby is only going to mention them briefly here; highlights and other details that readers sent in are here. Or, you could go to their blogs and beg them to tell you more.

First up, Geosomin of I Am Woman Hear Me Run and The Supposed Golden Path recommends Prince Albert National Park. Besides Lake Waskesui, there are four main day hikes. She also mentions the back country camping routes and canoe camping packages which are "amazing." And along those lines, she also recommends the Otter Lake/ Lake Missinipe area, where the The Churchill River Canoe Company has some great vacation packages. And further south is Cypress Hills Provincial Park, with forests, cliffs, and "an area of the forest where all the trees grow crooked and strangely." Cool!

And, in a demonstration that Crabby still does not know the first thing about uploading photos to her blog, here is Geosomin's picture of Waskesui Lake which looks to be in miniature (at least in Preview Mode) even though Crabby told blogger "large":



Next up are Leah's suggestions, Leah of The Goat's Lunch Pail and Prozac Palace.

She recommends Siffleur Falls along Highway 11 east of the Banff Park boundary. The trail includes rivers and waterfalls and suspension bridges and lovely cool trees. The walk is fairly easy, very popular, and kid-friendly. And: siffleur is the French word for marmot!

She also recommends the Coral Creek hike, a horse trail featuring a stream and an evergreen forest, mountain peaks, and if one perseveres further than Leah did, embedded marine life.

And here's a picture of the area courtesy of Leah:



And finally, to the United States, where Christina at Do or Diet recommends the Noligchucky Gorge Campground in the Appalachians. The "Noli" is a river starting in NC ending up in TN. The campground is set right on the river with great views of the mountains. Nearby is the Appalachain Trail and a train right-of-way hike that is a "genuine pleasure." The river is visible for most of the hike. Other highlights include a Sunday night pot-luck and jam. She also recommends the Virgina Creeper Trail which runs from Damascus to Abingdon. It's mild and very scenic trail and perfect for biking.

So Crabby thanks her helpful readers, and sorry she doesn't know how to do photos yet. And please let her know if she has made any transcription mistakes your submissions.

So have we exhausted this subject of camping and hiking and the joys/annoyances thereof? Or can we muster up anything else to say about it? Comments, about anything at all, are always welcome!

Great Outdoors

Here at Cranky Fitness, there is a tendency to engage in a lot of whining. And this is not going to change anytime soon. If fact, today's post is pretty much a rant, but there are Important Announcements at the end, so please hang in there.

So the Great Outdoors is no exception to Crabby's general whine-about-it policy: she has already complained about her fear of encountering lions and tigers and bears while hiking out in the wilderness. She has confessed that she often wonders: will she survive her little five mile loop, or will hungry predators catch her and eat her alive? (And what the heck does that even mean, "eaten alive?" How alive could you be without, say, your head?)

However, Crabby still loves hiking and camping and thinks everyone should do more of it. So she was alarmed to discover that National Park attendance is declining!

What? How could this be?

Sure, gas prices are high, and entrance fees have gone up, but that's true for any family vacation destination. DisneyWorld or even a trip to the multiplex costs way more money than it did a generation ago.

But c'mon. Some people do indeed spend a little money on vacations. And if those people can cruise to Cabo or pack the kids off with them to big resort hotel in Hawaii or spend a week within the confines of the Magic Kingdom, then they could also probably rent a tent and pitch it in a campground, or find a cheap motel near a national park, or at least take a few day trips to a nearby local park with trails and big trees or streams or waterfalls or something.

Everyone seems to be talking the big talk about "going green" and "caring about our natural environment," but no one seems to actually want to go out in it to appreciate it.

(And an aside, perhaps related and perhaps not, kids don't walk or bike to school much anymore, even when they live less than a mile away).

Crabby has great childhood memories of camping and hiking, and perhaps that's why she loves it now. She and her Most Significant Other (whom she shall nickname The Lobster, at least until she thinks of something better) are extremely fortunate: they have a five year old Camper Van that they have spent many nights in. So whenever they can, Crab and Lobster pack up "Fran the Van" and visit various county, state, provincial, and national parks, both in the U. S. and Canada.

(Another rambling aside: Fran the Van is a Pleasure-Way, and she hails from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Crabby and the Lobster visited Fran's factory-birthplace once, spent the night in their parking lot, and in the morning were given a tour and a very nice jar of something-berry jam. The folks in Saskatoon seemed very, very nice and they had super large bugs there).

Not everyone is so lucky as to own a small recreational vehicle; on the other hand, Crabby has spent many a night in her youth and young adulthood in a small cramped funky-smelling tents and managed to have a good time then, too.

Here's the thing: except in rare instances, like the Grand Canyon or Niagra Falls or Half Dome or Bryce or whatever, the beauty and wonder of nature is often subtle. It's not in-your-face the same way a Pixar movie or a Six Flags Scare-You-to-Death Roller Coaster ride is.

Some people have always loved the sights, smells, sounds, adventures and grandeur of the Outdoors. But for many, it took deliberate exposure and education to learn to appreciate the wilderness--sort of like fine wine or fresh asparagus or classical music. And Crabby doubts most people are going to cultivate a taste for it by plopping themselves or their kids in front of a videogame every spare hour.

Is it important for us as a society that we appreciate nature? Crabby has her opinion, obviously, but you may have yours as well and she hopes you will share it here in the commments. And Crabby does not mean that any particular family should feel bad if it really doesn't want to commune with nature--her rant is more directed at our culture as a whole: one that values the Big and Easy and Fake over the Nuanced and Challenging and Real.

End of rant. And so, finally, we have our Two Announcements!

First: You may have seen this one coming. Apologies, but the Crab and Lobster will be off for a long weekend in Fran the Van. There will probably be a Random Research post tomorrow, but comment follow-up is unlikely. And Monday's post may be delayed until late Monday or possibly Tuesday.

Crabby realizes she's been less than conscientious lately too about responding to comments and visiting other blogs. She'll get better when she gets back, and then worse again. But she's in this for the long haul, and is really trying to get the "balance" thing figured out. She hopes you'll stick with her anyway, as she would be heartbroken if you all went away and found better, more reliable blogs in her absence.

And, Second Announcement: Crabby needs your hiking-and-camping related help!

She's hoping to assemble a future post with a "Best Damn Hikes You've Ever Been On" sort of theme.

And she's especially hoping to get her Smart Readers to do most of the work for her! So if you have ever been on an Awesome hike, or stayed at wonderful Campground, and want to send her a short description of it, and perhaps include a picture, Crabby would love to have some posts about this.

She can't offer any compensation other than a link to your blog if you have one and her undying gratitude. Please email her at CrabbyMcSlacker @ gmail.com (skip the spaces and don't worry about capitalization). Tell her about your great hike, why it was great, how long it was, and enough information about location to get readers started (i.e. the trail name and the park it's located in) and Crabby would be most grateful! And a picture you have rights to would be great too. (The picture for this post, btw, is actually one from a Great Hike Crabby and the Lobster took). If Crabby gets a couple submissions she'll do a post about it, and if she gets a whole bunch she'll do a series of posts spread out over a few weeks!

Yikes, what a long post! Comments are always welcome, although Crabby can't seem to predict when she'll be in or not, so possible apologies if she strays again. She's pretty sure she'll be more attentive today, and she always reads them, even when she doesn't respond.

So see you (briefly) tomorrow and have a great weekend after that. (And P.S.-- go outside!)