Zoned Out: So Which Damn Cardio Zone(s) Should You Aim For?

There are many reasons that Cranky Fitness stopped pretending to be a blog about fitness, and became Just Cranky instead. One of them is: health and fitness research keeps contradicting itself. Who can trust it anymore?

And yet, I can't help it: I still keep clicking on headlines and reading studies and listening to experts and watching little how-to videos. I'm frequently asking Chatty, my AI health research assistant, for her cheerfully confident yet often inaccurate advice.

But every time I'm convinced I finally know what the "best" answer is to a health question? Some new take from an equally credible source comes along and says, nope, that was all wrong! How to sort out these scientific cat fights? Who do I listen to? 

Is it best to just "zone out" and ignore it all and go with our guts? 

So I'm still struggling a bit with cardio due to hypoparathyroidism, a rare and completely bonkers endocrine disorder I managed to acquire after cancer surgery. So it feels super important to try to optimize the cardio I can get away with.

But it turns out Expert Advice has changed a bit since back in the Cranky Fitness days! So what's the surprising new twist?  

Simplest, Dumbest Cardio Workout Trick Ever

image credit here

By Crabby McSlacker

So this post features one of those weirdo counter-intuitive motivational hacks that you either: (a) already know or, (b) are going to think sounds totally insane.

It's for those days when you're having a Really Shitty Workout.

I already knew the trick, and have probably already written about it. But guess what? I forgot. And then I remembered again. And it's come in handy a few times recently.

Your Heart Likes it When You Swim

photo: wikimedia commons

This guest post by Becky Flanigan comes at a perfect time. I've been doing more swimming than I'm accustomed to, and I'm pretty crappy at it, and am thus accumulating a rather long list of swimming-related grievances. (Which you will probably be hearing about soon). So it's great to discover that the research on health benefits of swimming is way more inspiring than I realized!  As you may recall, Becky also taught us some useful stuff about getting started with aqua-aerobics earlier. Thanks Becky!--Crabby

We know that hearts can’t actually talk, but they can sing, and nothing makes a heart sing louder or more heartily than being strong and in good health. If you are looking for a heart-strengthening, low-impact, yet effective alternative to the usual suspects like running or aerobics, it may be time to think about swimming your way to heart health. According to current research, swimming is one of the best things you can do to keep your heart strong.

Three Annoying Questions For: Jen Sinkler!

photo: the unquiet librarian

Interview By Crabby McSlacker

"Three Annoying Questions" returns as we ambush the awesome Jen Sinkler!

I've been a fan for years--Jen was the Editorial Director at Experience Life, one of the few non-crappy Health and Fitness magazines out there.  Her articles were my faves, as she was generally way ahead of the curve and yet had a no-bullshit down-to-earth take on fitness trends.   You can get her "Thrival Guide" free over at her site, and with that comes a newsletter that is actually something you want in your inbox as there as always cool stuff in there.

More details on what Jen's been up to at the end, but meantime, please welcome Jen and stay tuned for her Three Annoying Questions!--Crabby

What Does it Mean to Get In Shape?

Alert readers who visit other, better blogs like MizFit or The Great Fitness Experiment may have already become suspicious... is this a real post, or just a pathetic plea for votes in Shape's Best Fitness Blogger Poll?

Well, it is a post about what it means to be "In Shape!"  Sort of.  It's really more of a question than anything else--And I hope some of you will answer it for me.  But, um, yeah--there may also be a mention of the poll thingy at the end.


But first...

What does Being "In Shape" Mean to You?

Pondering this deep philosophical question for a few moments led me to realize it was lunchtime and that there was leftover rotisserie chicken in the fridge! that there are so many kinds of being in shape! And that everyone probably has a different definition.

It also caused me to reflect a bit on how seldom I ever examine and challenge my own ideas of what it means to be in good shape. Some of these notions: useful! Others: totally lame-brained and counterproductive!

So I thought I'd investigate by rooting around in the dark dank mysterious confines of my subconscious mind (Eeek, spiders! And hey, Miss Nancy from Romper Room, what the heck are you doing in there?). And then, while I was visiting, I thought I'd linger for a moment and have a conversation. Because perhaps people don't think I'm quite weird enough.

Crabby:  Hey unconscious, so what do you think are the most important aspects of being in good shape?

Unconscious:  You should be strong, and be able to do cardio at a good pace, have a fair amount of endurance, and good flexibility and balance.

Crabby: Well that sounds reasonable!  And when you cardio should be done at a good pace, you mean that when I get on the elliptical...

Unconscious: Elliptical? Who are you kidding? That doesn't count.  You have to run to be in good shape.  And you have to go at least five miles five times a week, and you should do those miles in under eight minutes.

Crabby:  What!? I never got that fast even when I was young and healthy! And what about my foot and knee injuries that are aggravated by running? What about getting older?  Wouldn't the elliptical or biking or swimming make more sense and be more gentle on my....

Unconscious:  Silence!  It's gotta be running and it's got to be fast or you're wasting your time because you'll never be in shape.  That's what you believed 30 years ago, so it must be true, right? 

Crabby: Seriously?  Hmm... could that be why I keep reinjuring myself over and over by trying to run?

Unconscious:  And hey, shouldn't you be outside right now training for a marathon, like the people who are really in shape are doing? That's what endurance means--you should be able to run 26 miles at a time.

Crabby:  Sheesh you're strict!  So, um, to be "strong," what does that mean?

Unconscious:  Unassisted pull-ups.

Crabby:  That's it?

Unconscious:  Well, there are some other things you should do too, but you can go through the motions on most of those. It's how many pull-ups you can do that count.  Remember when you were little and spent hours on the playground and weighed 60 pounds? You could do a ton of them back then, so you should be able to do a bunch now too.

Crabby:  But wait... it made no sense, but I obsessed for years about that, and now I can do an unassisted pull up or two! Or, on a good day, up to 4 chin-ups. Aren't you proud?

Unconscious:  Yeah, good for you.  Now you have to do eight pull-ups.

Crabby:  Wait, how can that be? I'm getting older, not younger and...

Unconscious: Eight.  A full set. You could do at least that many when you were little.

Crabby:  Damn.  What about flexibility and balance?   And, oh dear... how about mental health? Yikes!  I'm kinda superficial and unevolved and sometimes I get stressed about stuff that should be no big deal and...

Unconscious: Eh whatever. As long as you can make your way across a room without falling over, and can touch your toes, you're good on flexibility and balance.  I may say those are important... but notice how often I let you slide? Obviously I don't care very much.  And mental health?  Ha! As long as you're not babbling incoherently and running around whacking people with hatchets, we're good.  My priorities for being "In Shape" are pretty simple.

Crabby:  Wow, Unconscious, I had no idea you were so illogical! So judgmental! So counterproductive!

Unconscious:  Logic? Judgement? Productivity? What do those words mean?  I don't recognize them.  That's your department, Crabby.  I just deal in emotions, random associations, wishful thinking, bad memories, stuff like that.  You're not running around doing everything I tell you without thinking about it, are you? And surely you're not ignoring really important things just because they're not the random ones I decide to guilt-trip you about?

Crabby:  Um...  er... say, I think I hear the phone ringing.  Bye, unconscious!

So what do you guys believe it means to be "in shape?"

Any of you have some good working definitions of "in good shape?" Or some crazy unconscious ones? Would love to hear what pops into your head, and if you consider that you are actually "in shape."

Oh, and on that Shape voting thing:

First off, how can I not urge you to vote for the awesomeness that is MizFit or The Great Fitness Experiment or the Fit Bottom Girls or Workout Mommy or many of the other great blogs on the list?  Sigh.  They're way more inspirational than Cranky Fitness.  It's only my irrational unconscious that gives a sh#t about landing at or near the bottom, and we know how reliable that source of motivation is.

It's rumored you can actually vote once a day until October 28th, which is frankly pretty darn annoying.  Right...  we bloggers should urge readers to quit your day jobs to vote over and over in a  blogging poll?   However, if true, it does mean you could vote for Cranky Fitness, and then vote for your other favorite blogs too. 

But the best thing about this poll? It's reminding me yet again how awesome Cranky Fitness readers are! Moonlight Dancer at Dancing in the Moonlight wrote a nice post helping me out, and those of you following Cranky Fitness on Facebook have been very sweet about checking in and voting and saying hi. Love you guys!

So, any thoughts about what it means to be "in shape?"  Or feelings about be hounded to vote in online polls?

Circuit Training: A Great Idea! (For Other People)

Sure, Sunshine, I Bet It's Really Really Fun!

I was thinking that since we're still in New Years resolution season, it might be a good idea to write about How To Get Started With Strength Training. But then I remembered: Whoops, I wrote that post already. So instead I thought: how about discussing circuit training? Circuit training is a clever and efficient way to do cardio and strength training all at the same time!

Then I remembered: I hate circuit training. I'd much rather do my cardio and weights separately, and be half as miserable for twice as long.

But of course I'm Crabby by nature, and I hate a lot of things that are good for you. And many of these healthy things I avoid (like celery and exercise bikes) are much beloved by others. So just because I don't actually do circuit training myself, that shouldn't keep me from encouraging other people to try it. So let's just pretend I'm Kirstie Alley telling you how to lose weight, or John Edwards giving you marital advice. Because "Do as I say, not as I do" is a time-honored didactic strategy, right?

So what is Circuit Training?

Circuit training is basically a series of resistance exercises done one after the other with a minimum of rest in between. The idea is to try to get a full-body strength training routine in, but to keep rest periods short enough (30-90 seconds) so that your heart rate stays in your aerobic range the whole time. That way, you get double credit--two workouts in the time it usually takes to do one.

The best circuit routines are designed so that consecutive exercises use different muscle groups. That way, you can go quickly from one exercise to the next without screaming in pain. Or, if you do end up screaming in in pain, you're at least screaming about different body parts. "Oh my god, I'm dying, my thighs! My thighs! My thighs!" gets boring after a while. Whereas "Please just shoot me now! My thighs! My back! My shoulders! My ass!" is a slightly more interesting sort of misery to experience or observe.

Why is it called "circuit" training?

"Circuit training" may sound like some sort of punitive regimen in which you are administered powerful electric shocks if you don't move quickly enough. But that's not true! It's a punitive regimen involving no electricity whatsoever.

Sometime "circuit training" does actually involve a formal circuit of exercise stations arranged in a circle. That's how the whole thing started back in the fifties. But there are lots of ways of approaching it now. Many people do circuit training on their own, with minimal equipment, customizing their own programs. And they don't have to run around in circles unless they enjoy getting dizzy.

What are some ways to get started with circuit training?

1. You can take a class or join a circuit-type gym.

Many gyms have circuit training classes, and this is a popular way to get started. Also, whole franchises like Curves use a circuit approach. This way, you can let some perky, motivated instructor handle the "thinking" and "planning" parts of the workout, and you can just show up and do what you're told and suffer whatever torture they dish up.

The downside of classes or circuit-gyms? If you, like me, are opinionated about what sort of muscles you want to work, how hard you want to work them, and how long you want to do it for--well, that's just too bad. Get over yourself. If these classes involve people moving from station to station, you can't dawdle or skip things or you'll mess everyone else up.

2. Get a Circuit Training DVD.

This way, you get all the perk pre-packaged, and you don't have to design your own program. Plus, the instructor can't see you, and you don't have any actual classmates. This means you can be as slow, klutzy, or half-assed as you want, and no one has to know but you!

3. Design your own circuit training routine.

If you already do strength training, you've got the building blocks for your own customized circuit training routine. But you may need to adjust a little and modify your usual exercises.

If you work out at a gym, one of the cool things about it is the variety of different strength training options you have. However, without prior planning, it can be a bit of a challenge to do circuit training there. Unfortunately, you can't just toss people off your favorite equipment when you need it, shouting "Sorry dude, I only have 7 seconds left before I need that roman chair!"

Well, you can try, but you won't be very popular.

Another issue is that circuit training works best with exercises that get you breathing hard, as opposed to the kind that exercise only one small muscle group at at time. So, for example, if one of your normal strength training exercises is a bicep curl, you may be better off ditching that for a combo move like pull-ups (or assisted pull-ups). Likewise, if you do an exercise just for your triceps, you may want to substitute some push-ups instead.

And because of the need to go quickly from one exercise to the next, it's best not to count too much on equipment that could be in use or that needs a lot of adjustment before each new user. So it helps to have a number of alternative exercises in mind that use your own body-weight, elastic bands, kettle bells, stability balls, free weights etc. Plus, the minimal-equipment approach is great for home exercisers who don't want to spend a fortune on fancy home gym set-ups.

Another thing to keep in mind is that circuit training works best with moderate resistance done with higher repetitions. If you're toning; that's great. But if you're used to doing high-weight/low rep body-building stuff, with substantial rests between sets, your regular routine may not work as well in a circuit.

4. Sample Circuit Training Routines:

So, want some ideas on good exercises to use to build your own circuit training workout? Here are a few ideas to get started with:

SparkPeople has some general instructions and some great 30 minute circuits for beginners, intermediate, and advanced exercisers; each exercise has a link with further instructions.

At Girl Get Strong, they've got a "hot body" circuit workout you can check out.

At Weight for Deb, you can get circuit workout emphasizing balance and stability.

And Go Workout Mom has some at-home bodyweight exercises that are a very handy option for your circuit training routine; and in addition, at Truth 2 Being Fit, there are 10 more At-Home strength training exercises you can incorporate into your circuit training.

Do any of you have any advice about circuit training? Or do you prefer to do your cardio and strength training as separate activities?

[Note: This is also being posted at Blogher's 10x Club. Join us there for daily challenges, rewards, encouragement, and of course, plenty o' whining.]

Cardio: Getting Started

Photo: John Springer Collection; via twotoneatl.

Pretty much everyone agrees that for good health, you need to do some sort of exercise. But does that mean everyone has to do aerobic exercise? The kind where you get all sweaty, breathe hard, and struggle to keep your heartrate in its picky little "target zone?"

Well, I'm not prepared to do an exhaustive research review, but I do know a couple things:

(1) There are many, many studies that point to major health benefits from regular aerobic exercise, and for this reason, mainstream health experts all seem to recommend you do it. (See, for example, a good article over at Mayo Clinic.) Heck, even the Federal Government thinks you should get off your ass. For best results, they say work up to the point where you're doing 150 minutes a week of "vigorous intensity aerobic physical activity."

(2) And yet I know plenty of people who've lived to a healthy old age by walking, gardening, and just generally puttering around. Many of these folks would never intentionally sign up for a fitness class, nor would they consider "going for a run" unless something with large teeth and claws were chasing them.

Surprisingly Effective Exercise Motivator

(Photo: Orin Zebest)

So what to make of this? Do you have to do cardio?

My take: you'll maximize your chances for a healthy, vigorous, disease-free life if you suck it up and do regular aerobic exercise. Particularly if you have a crappy family history when it comes to chronic disease. But it's also really important just to keep moving. There are huge health benefits you get from not being sedentary, no matter slowly and gently you decide to approach physical activity.

But at least give vigorous cardio a shot someday, you may be surprised how much better you feel! Many of us find that aerobic exercise helps us sleep better, have more energy, catch fewer bugs, have less anxiety, crankiness and depression, and just generally feel more smug and special and awesome than people who don't.

Now obviously I'm not going to cover all the things you need to know about aerobic exercise in one post, but here are at least a few tips to get you moving. Or if you're already pounding out marathons, it's an opportunity to laugh at how lame my suggestions are help the cardio newcomers by offering your wise suggestions in the comments.

1. Pick an Exercise You Don't Abhor

Photo: lucky_sunny

There are a huge number of exercises that will get your heat rate up to aerobic levels; the tricky thing is finding one that doesn't make you want to puke, tear your hair out, or break down into a sobbing heap of misery five minutes into your workout. Of course Murphy's law dictates that the sort of exercise that sounds the most fun will be the least practical given your lifestyle, and the most convenient option will likely suck.

But with that in mind, at least here are a few cardio ideas:

Running; race-walking or power-walking; cycling; swimming; skating; rowing; cross-country skiing; exercise machines like ellipticals and steppers; fitness classes like boot camps, turbo-kick, functional fitness, etc; dance classes or dvds like Zumba, hip/hop, bellydancing, country dancing, or swing dancing; fitness video games; sports that keep you constantly moving like basketball or raquetball or soccer; hiking; climbing; surfing; or more exotic activities, like parkour, cheese rolling, or bog-snorkeling.

And I'm probably forgetting a whole bunch of other things.


2. Start Slowly:

Do you have medical issues, or are you coming off years of inactivity? These and other potentially risky scenarios mean you should check with your doctor first. Because having a heart attack is NOT a good way to start off an aerobic exercise program!

And don't try to go "all out" from the very beginning. People constantly make the mistake of giving it their all before they've built the physical foundations for intense exercise. So save some of your "all," you'll most likely be needing it for later.

Remember, you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to overdo it and injure yourself. Don't blow those crucial first weeks of habit-building momentum by getting burnt out, exhausted, or hospitalized.

3. Track Your Exertion Level and Gradually Build Up

Learn how to measure your pulse and find your target heart rate. Or hell, buy one of those nifty gizmos that calculates everything you can think of for you. And if you don't want to get too fancy, you can often find decent heart rate monitors on sale for $50 or less.

(Update: turns out Charlotte at the Great Fitness Experiment has a post all about heart rate monitoring today, be sure to check it out!)

And be sure to warm up with some easy walking or whatever before you start, and then cool down after you stop. Don't just go from huffing and puffing to plopping down in your car. You also probably want to do some stretching after you're done too.

While exercising, aim to spend increasing amounts of time in that target zone, working up to about 30 minutes or more a session (though recommendations on this seem to vary. Some say 20 is fine as long as it's vigorous). And use common sense; "target" heart rates are approximate. Your perceived level of exertion can be a very handy indicator of whether you're taking it too easy or whether you're killing yourself and need to dial it back. You want to be breathing heavily but not gasping for breath. (Later, when we get around to discussing high intensity intervals--that's where the gasping comes in).

The good thing about being totally out of shape when you start? It will be way easier for you to get you in your target zone than someone who's already fit.

For people considering going from walking to running, there are some more specific training suggestions for getting started: like the Couch to 5k program or this handy guide from the American Council on Exercise. Another general rule of thumb I've heard is not to increase your distance by more than 10% a week.

4. Find Support:

Many people find companionship to be very motivating, and finding a buddy, class, or group to be an excellent way to stay accountable. And even if you're the loner type while you exercise, it can be really nice to get helpful hints and encouragement afterwards. You may want to subscribe to a sport-specific magazine, or find blogs, forums, and other websites where like-minded others hang out, and where people love to give new exercisers plenty of advice and tips.

Some blog examples: runners may enjoy Caution Redhead Running or Marathon Mama; those who like exercise and healthy eating challenges should check out Living Healthy in the Real World; those who try to exercise despite injuries should check out I'm Not Superhuman; and, with excellent timing, the Fit Bottomed Girls are having a special Beginners Week this week.

5. Think About Cross Training:

One of the most annoying things about pursuing a lifetime of aerobic fitness is that once you finally find an exercise you really like? You need to go out and find another one. Or two. Or three.

You can find additional activities early on, and enjoy the improved fitness, variety, and increased sense of accomplishment you get with having more than one cardio option. (Plus--each sport usually has it's own nifty outfits and gear and gadgets!)

Alternatively, you can just do your favorite thing over and over, year after year, until you get injured, or discover your favorite class has been canceled, or you just become sick to death of doing the same thing all the time. In any event, you will probably find at some point that you need alternatives. Finding them earlier rather than later may help you prevent injuries, so keep an open mind about fitness options.

6. Be prepared for ups and downs:

It can be extremely motivating to see yourself make progress towards greater aerobic fitness. Over time, you will be able to go further, and faster!

On the other hand, if you get too invested in specific performance goals, you may end up totally discouraged by this perplexing fact: sometimes, for no apparent reason, your performance will suck! And not just for a workout or two--sometimes it will be hard for weeks. Why? Who knows? But this mysterious lack of connection between the work you put in and the progress you make can drive some folks crazy. Sometimes you just have to focus on the process, and how awesome you are for getting out there day after day, and not worry too much about the numbers.

So, do you do cardio, or are you just thinking about it? If you're a veteran, do you have any tips for the new kids?

[Note: this post also appears over at Blogher's 10x club. And you can check out the forum there for daily challenges and rewards]

This Video Makes Me Miss the 80's

photo credit: laughingmonk

Courtesy of That'sfit, which has collected some cheesy exercise videos, this is probably the gayest aerobic exercise video that I've ever seen. (In both senses of the word--it's incredibly cheerful.)

It's not embeddable, but just click here to see it.

Sure, spinning and kickboxing and boot camp classes may be efficient and effective, but does anyone else miss the high kicks and grapevines and camp glory that was "aerobics" in its heyday?

Sigh. Sometimes I sure do.

Timex Ironman Race Trainer Giveaway

Yep, we're extremely pleased that Timex has donated an Ironman Race Trainer Heartrate Monitor system for us to give away to a lucky Cranky Fitness reader.

And there's more good news: they're willing to ship internationally, so anyone can enter to win!

Would you like to find out how to enter, learn more about the product, get some training tips, and listen to Crabby's little lecture on Number Theory?

Wait a second, did she just say Number Theory? Sorry, we just all remembered we had an important appointment to have our Cockapoo's toenails trimmed ...

Yes, I did say number theory, but don't run away! I don't mean the kind of number theory that mathematicians talk about. If you want to learn about Euler's theorem, the law of quadratic reciprocity, or the Möbius function, you'll have to go elsewhere. I don't know bupkus about that stuff. This is a different kind of number theory.

Crabby's Theory About Fitness and Numbers

As it happens, the Ironman thingy is not just a way to measure your heartrate so you don't kill yourself by running too fast until your heart explodes. It also lets you "analyze comprehensive workout data to enhance workouts, track progress and ... attain training goals."

Which made me think a warning was in order. I figured it might be a good time to offer up my Numbers Theory, even though I don't follow it very well myself.

Here goes:

When using workout data to improve exercise performance and motivation, only pay attention to the GOOD numbers. Bad numbers don't count.

Run your fastest 3 miles ever? That's excellent! You rock! A great reason to keep training.

Fail to do eight push-ups today when last week you could do twelve? Screw it., just ignore that Bad number. It didn't count.

What counted is that you tried, and that you're going to keep doing push-ups until you can do more again. You still rock!

So in addition to your awesome new fancy-pants fitness gadget, remember to consult your effortometer. Whichever gives you the most credit, that's the measurement that counts.

(Note: If you are a professional athlete, ignore this advice. Listen to your coach instead or you may find yourself out of a job).

Now enough about Number Theory, let's get on with the giveaway!

Why You Might Really Like the Ironman Race Trainer HRM:

I'm not lucky enough to own one myself, so I'll quote from the promotional materials:

The Timex Ironman Race Trainer Kit is a downloadable HRM system that includes:

• Race Trainer digital heart rate monitor
• Digital 2.4 heart rate sensor and strap
• Data Xchanger USB device, and
• Free access to Timex Ironman online training site.

Furthermore, "The Data Xchanger enables 2-way communication between the Race Trainer and a PC, transferring workout data to a free Timex Ironman online training site powered by TrainingPeaks. Track your training calendar, performance, personal data and nutrition with the ability to modify your HRM and watch settings from your desktop all in one step."

I gotta say I'm pretty jealous.

More Stuff Over at Their Training Website

Timex also has a website you can check out at Timextrainer.com. It's got training programs, downloads, videos, and a blog, all of which sounds very nice and whatever, but what caught my eyes was that there is a 60 minute FREE RUNNING MUSIC DOWNLOAD there.

You guys, go ahead and download training programs and run your asses off. I'm going to check out the music. It sounds likes it's fast (150bpm) and I'm all about FREE.

How You Can Win the Ironman HRM System

No poetry necessary this time (although we always appreciate health and fitness poems, haikus, and limericks. It really brightens our day).

To enter, just leave a comment saying why you might like an Ironman HRM, so we know you're actually entering and not just stopping by to chat, which we also love. (We'd just rather the prize goes to someone who wants it). A random number generator will pick the winner. Note: if you leave more than one comment, only your first comment will be assigned a number.

Contest closes Midnight (EST) Tuesday December 9th, winner announced sometime the next day, Dec 10th, and prize must be claimed (by emailing us or leaving a comment) by Friday night, December 12th.

Will the Timex HRM Get Crabby In This Kind of Shape?
If so, Sign Her the Hell Up.

Good luck, and may the Random Number Generator pick a Good Number--yours!

UPDATE: So sorry, the winner was chosen. But if you'd like to get your hands on a similar one, here's a handy Amazon link:

Time to access my inner babysitter

Want to know what's really annoying about fitness? Okay, besides the really perky people who smirk while you're panting and sweating your way through an exercise class.

From 1000barbies.com

Fitness: three annoying truths

Three things about Fitness annoy me*

1. Buying a DVD doesn't make me thinner -- I have to actually follow the workout. I don't know how many exercise DVDs I have on my bookshelf, but it's an alarming number. Most of the time, the only exercise I get from them is the calories lost when I dust them off.

2. Working out doesn't mean it's okay for me to pig out. This goes back to Crabby's classic post on entitlement. For some reason I have firmly implanted in my head the idea that I earned that tiramisu by 20 minutes of aerobic exercise. Nyet. (Tiramisu calories = 420 calories. 20 minutes of brisk walking = about 110 calories. I hate it when math conspires against me.)

3. Fall. No, not Vanilla's problem re tripping over his running shoes, I mean autumn. It's annoying. I can't exercise outdoors after work because it's too dark out. Indoors it's either a DVD or Orlando Manuel.


Plus, autumn means:
- 29 days until I have to open those bags of Halloween candy
- 56 days until I'm faced with pecan pie and all that stuffing
- 81 days until that feast with three types of pie, two types of stuffing, and a chocolate santa

It's tempting to try to start training for Christmas by dipping into the H candy early.

*That is, annoys me right now. Ask next week and the list might have changed.

Time to access my inner babysitter

Sometimes you need to listen to your inner child. Other times, you need to be firm with the little brat.

(It's odd -- I would never refer to someone's child as a brat, but I have no hesitation labeling my inner whiner as such.)

Do I sound a bit harsh? Apologies if your inner child is well-behaved. Mine? Well... how shall I put this.


Yeah, exactly.

I'm no expert on parenting, but giving your inner child everything he/she wants is a great way to end up with a spoiled child who has rotten teeth and rotten manners. Sooner or later you'll have to be firm with yourself.

And when I say "you," I of course mean myself.

I tend to defer to my inner child entirely too damn much. I rely on short-term solutions. Feeling down? Grab that fast food or glass of red wine. Never mind that you'll wake up tomorrow with an extra pound or a headache (or both).

Even science is against me: Delayed gratification linked to intelligence.

Do bribes work?

Now governments are getting into the act of giving incentives to help people lose weight.

In England, an anti-obesity strategy has been started. It features ways to get people involved in living a more healthy lifestyle. For example, they want to encourage employers to provide 'leisure vouchers' or staff weight-loss competitions. This gives me an idea for a new reality show: a cross between "The Biggest Loser" and "The Office." They could call it "The Office Loser."


In America, researchers are performing studies involving giving people money to lose weight.

A study of 200 people, carried out by independent researchers RTI International and the University of North Carolina, found that using money was the best incentive to encourage weight loss. They offered cash for each percentage of weight lost. (Don't get too excited: during the three month study, the highest payment was $14.)

Another three month study, undertaken ten years ago in northern England, gave people little motivational pep talks and in some cases offered 'leisure vouchers' to encourage weight loss. "At the end of the study, 55% of those who had six interviews plus 30 vouchers entitling them to free leisure facilities had increased their levels of physical activity compared to 35% of those who only received the chats."

Sounds good, but wait...

"However, when the researchers went back to people a year after the start of the study, they found that these short-term boosts in activity levels had not been sustained. One of the researchers, Martin White, said: 'We know how to get people active. The big challenge is to keep them active and to maintain that lifestyle.... If someone is obese, doing activity for three months will be good. But if they then go back to how they were, it won't really have helped them.' "

Some people, even Jillian Michaels can't help

What these two studies have in common, methinks, is that the incentive to exercise came from outside. Outer motivation isn't as effective. Even a professional trainer such as Jillian Michaels cannot help someone unless the person makes an internal decision to accept her help and do the necessary work.

It's like that guy who wanted to cheat on his girlfriend because she wouldn't lose 10 pounds. Incidentally, the other side of the coin, sidetaker.com has another guy complaining, but this time it's because his girlfriend has lost weight, and she's enjoying the fact that other men hit on her and find her attractive. It's tempting to try to set up the girl from the first post with the guy from the second, or something like that. If someone else is dissatisfied with your shape, but you aren't, then it's pointless trying to lose the weight. Or to lift the weight either.

My question to you is...
Crabby's post the other day showed that a lot of you are really good about working out.

My question to you is: What's your secret?

Are you all lean, mean, self-disciplined fitness machines who all access your inner nazi or whatever you call that part of you that screams "you will get up out of bed at 5 a.m. and run around in the freezing cold!" (Your inner masochist?) How do you do it? Bribes? Threats? Incentives? Outcentives? What's up?

Cardio Poll! (And Giveaway Winner)

So I was going to put up another depressing/alarming post this morning about how something you probably use every day might one day up and kill you. (Maybe). The post is all written up and everything.

But how about I hold off on that one until later? Maybe this evening. Maybe this weekend. You won't kill yourself any extra in the meantime, I promise.

I'm just not in the mood to be the bearer of more bad news. Especially when you're all still absorbing the fact that you didn't win the Perfect Pull Up, and your fat is full of toxins.

Oh but wait, one of you did win the Perfect PullUp!

That would be kamewh! Congratulations! Please email us by Friday night with your mailing address so we can have your Perfect PullUp sent to you. (Mr. Meaty not included).

So instead of bad news, let's have a poll!



Oops, no, not that kind of poll.

So I was thinking about aerobics the other day. Or cardio, as we now seem to call it.

(C'mon, you remember the good ol' days.)

And here's what I was wondering about:

We in the health and fitness blogging world tend to act like everyone reading us does some sort of cardio. And by cardio I don't mean just walking around like you do in the grocery store; I mean the heavy-breathing, sweaty, get-your-heartrate-in-the-target-zone kind of workout. Even though we don't necessarily assume you're doing strength training or balance training or endurance training or HIIT. (Or even SHIIT).

But how valid is that? I have tons of friends and relatives who don't do the huffy-puffy stuff. Many of these fine folks are active and healthy and get plenty of exercise--just at a lower intensity level. Probably fewer than a third of my "real life" acquaintances regularly do aerobic workouts, let alone high-intensity interval work.

And when I started thinking about that, I realized that of all the health blogs out there, we're probably more likely than most to have lower-intensity folks checking in. We're Cranky Fitness for goodness sake! Yet I act like everyone here does cardio. Time for a quick reality check.

I know for me, personally, I don't feel nearly as fit if I don't do something regularly that gets my heart rate up. I never look forward to aerobic activity (even though I sometimes accidentally enjoy it) but I make myself do it anyway. And I could go scrounge up a bunch of links to justify why aerobic exercise is generally a good thing for people, but so what? Eating nothing but natural whole organic foods and never touching sugar or chemicals might be good for people too, but you don't see me assuming you all manage to do that. (And I sure as hell don't).

So, two questions. I'm hoping that people who don't normally comment might join us in voting, please? Pretty please? It's kind of humiliating to put out a poll and have 7 people vote.

Here goes. (And will sticking in a couple of poll thingies break the blog? We'll just have to see!)

The first question is your opinion about cardio:

Is it Essential to do Cardio to be 'Healthy'?
	Yep, Skip Only at Your Own Risk
	No, You Can be Healthy Without It
	I Hate" Yes or No" Questions!
pollcode.com free polls

And the second question is what you actually do yourself:

Do You Do Regular Cardio?
	Pretty Religiously
	Er, Every Now and Then
	Screw Cardio, Life is Short
pollcode.com free polls

Feel free to elaborate in the comments!