I am hilariously inept at my physical therapy exercises and seem to be making little progress yet in the back-healing department;
I've been bemoaning my lack of back-friendly exercise options and bitching about how I am getting less fit by the day;
I discovered taking up swimming might be a feasible option; and,
I have always loathed everything about swimming.
(A quick review? Let's see: apparel requirements; chlorine; my lack of natural floatiness or coordination; being forced to arrange breathing opportunities instead of snarfing up air any damn time I want to; and sharing a pool with other people. And of course most excruciatingly: having to initiate the activity by submerging myself voluntarily in cold nasty evil frigid wetness. Acck! For a warm-blooded mammal such as myself, this feels like a profoundly unnatural act).
Seriously, the only great thing about swimming is that eventually it is over with.
So, one might wonder, given my wonderful positive attitude towards the whole enterprise: how is the swimming thing going so far? Can an Old Crab learn some New Tricks? And are there any tedious lessons said Old Crab can share from her experience?
It may not come as a great shock to those of you who are regular readers, but...
I don't always enjoy my workouts. And I almost never look forward to them.
Yep, some days it's all about sighing and moaning and procrastinating and finally guilting or bribing myself into crossing exercise off the "to-do" list. Especially if strength training or high intensity intervals are involved.
But the totally moronic thing is: I often find myself feeling reluctant and whiny and foot-draggy about fitness activities that I almost always enjoy once I get off my ass and do them.
How screwed up is that? Why can I not learn, after many repeated instances of non-suckitude, that just physical exertion is not always an odious chore?
You may wonder: what sort of an asshat would post blog pictures of bikes and sunny beaches when most of the country is facing bone-chilling, freakishly miserable winter weather?
OK, yeah, so this sort of an asshat.
Hi There!
But it's sort of a photo-journey about facing fears and taking risks and all that sort of crap.
I'm hoping maybe you could put on a couple sweaters and make some hot chocolate or do whatever you brave people do who live where it's cold in the winter and bear with me?
Yeah, this was supposed to be a post for Monday, and it was also supposed to be about health and fitness. Specifically, it was about consumer online genetic testing services. Then it was going to be about bicycling.
But instead, how about a tale of adventure, wanderlust and shocking surprises? There are lots and lots and lots of pictures (let's pretend that's a good thing), and even kinda a fitness angle!
Ok, so maybe not. But I rode my bike around while researching portions of this post. Does that count?
OK, perhaps some parking is allowed. I can be reasonable.
And yeah, this post was inspired by recent events that transpired on a literal dance floor. But as usual when I have a grievance, I don't just need to bitch about it: I also gotta analyze and generalize and get all metaphorical! Plus I try to find some kind of "life lesson" and share it.
Annoying and pedantic? Of course! But it's how my brain likes to process stuff. Some people meditate or take Prozac or go pummel a punching bag; I over-think and blog.
I am sometimes amazed there are any Cranky Fitness readers left.
Wait, are there any Cranky Fitness readers left?
(Always good to keep checkin'! It sure would be lonely on planet Cranky if y'all got fed up and wandered away).
So anyway, who tried to harsh Crabby's mellow over the weekend and what thoughts did this lead to?
With a name like Crabby McSlacker and a blog called Cranky Fitness, it would be easy to assume that I'm always whiny when it comes to good nutrition and exercise.
And, okay, maybe most of the time I am. If someone were to compile a bitchy-to-cheerful ratio of my posts, it would probably be a very large number. Or heck, how about a pie chart?
Of course a lot of my orneriness is a reaction to what's out there already in the media. With so many health magazines and books shouting "Easy!" and "Fun!" and "Effective!" and "Instant!" and "Permanent!"and "Young!" and "Sexy!" you'd think adopting a healthy lifestyle would take maybe two weeks, tops. And that it would never involve sacrifice. And that when you were "done," you'd be totally fit and strong and hot and lean and smart and energetic. Oh, and immortal. Because we all know that if you eat enough antioxidants and do enough high intensity intervals you will never, ever, die.
So I try to provide a counterpoint. But sometimes I just have to come out of the Cranky Closet and admit: sure, at times it can be a pain in the ass but there's a lot to love about healthy living! And the funny thing is that so many of the pleasures feel just as self-indulgent and sensual as vices, only somehow, they're not. So for a change of pace, here's a random list of a bunch of things I recently remembered that I love that aren't even bad for me. Some of these I've written about before, but what the heck, Cranky Fitness readers are noted for their patience with, and kindness to, repetitive Crabs.
Things Crabby Enjoyed Recently That Weren't Bad For Her:
1. Getting high on the elliptical again, and not even caring that I was making a fool of myself by dancing and mouthing the words to my iTunes songs. (But not singing them out loud. I'm not a complete ass).
2. My breakfast:
Surprise! Crabby's photos still look like crap.
Actually, by "breakfast" I don't mean the very first meal of the day, which is always liquid because to me, the thought of solid food first thing in the morning is totally barfy. Instead, I start with a gigantic cup of strong coffee that also contains almost two cups of warm nonfat milk, plus a small glass of orange juice. Then after I work out, I eat breakfast number two.
I've been obsessed with this breakfast (or similar variations) all summer. I look forward to it starting the night before! (The Lobster is often amazed at how much I love food. I truly do. Eating is one of my favorite past-times).
The first item is a fruit and vegetable smoothie. (This one: 1 cup frozen blueberries, 1/2 cup raw cauliflower, 1 1/2 cup raw spinach, 1/4 cup frozen banana, 1 cup nonfat milk, some vanilla and some Truvia (the newfangled stevia that doesn't taste as nasty).
And the other item is a whole wheat english muffin with a little almond butter, a little honey, and a bunch of walnuts on top. I'm especially proud of the walnut invention, because I don't tend to like walnuts in most settings. If I'm eating a brownie or cookie and come across icky walnut pieces, I will spit the intruders right out, precious Omega 3's and all. But when paired with almond butter and honey, walnuts become suddenly lovable!
(Note: those of you on calorie restricted diets must be going: WTF??? How the hell much does she eat every day? The answer: a LOT. Weirdly enough, as I've switched to healthier foods and gotten smarter about high intensity exercise and weights, I can eat way more calories than I used to when I weighed an extra 25 pounds.)
3. Tea Dance, which will have to be the subject of a post of its own sometime. Basically, it's a high-energy summertime dance party at a local waterfront gay bar. The coolest thing? It's full of boomer-aged folks (mostly men, but plenty of women too) so we don't feel out of place on the dance floor. And, get this, it takes place before it gets dark, from 4-7 p.m. When I was in my twenties, "going dancing" meant heading out late at night to a smoke-filled bar, and it involved more standing around feeling self-conscious than it did dancing. To have rediscovered bopping around to great music for an hour or two, cooled by fresh bay breezes and surrounded by other folks having a blast? It's hard to count it as exercise it's so much fun.
(And okay, the pre-dancing low cal mojito we have before we get there may have something to do with it.)
4. Bootcamp. Well, not while I'm in the middle of doing push-ups or lunges or burpees or whatever. But the feeling of camaraderie and accomplishment more than makes up for the temporary burning muscles and the gasping for breath and the wanting to die.
5. Biking. Why am I always reluctant to climb on my bike at the beginning of the season? It takes me half the summer to get back in the habit, but once I do I spend the rest of the time congratulating myself for discovering such a pleasant, efficient form of transportation.
6. Shrimp and broccolini pasta. I make it with tons of garlic and olive oil, a bit of whole grain pasta, and I garnish it with a ridiculous amount of pine nuts and some parmesan cheese. Heaven! The Lobster opts out of this one, being a broccolini hater, so it's my go-to meal when it's Fend For Yourself night.
7. The Rock Walk. I wrote about this walk along the breakwater when we first moved to Provincetown, and I was afraid I might burn out on it. Nope! Still beautiful and peaceful,only now it's even better: lush and green instead of staid and brown.
8. Looking forward to running on my favorite trail again. So this is kind of a cheaty one, because I'm only enjoying the memory of it. My actual runs now take place on a high school field that hosts a flock of geese and a lot of goosesh*t. But soon I'm gonna try my old route, which is a gently rolling foresty fire road that goes by several ponds. The stupid mosquitoes stole it from me in the height of summer, but I'm ready to take it back.
9. Watermelon. What's not to like about fresh sweet watermelon?
10. The Gym! I know I've been blogging about how much I hate the gym, but getting a good break from it helped to make for a great recent workout. I know soon enough I'll be hating it again, but, note to self: all that stuff about "mixing it up" and "trying new things?" Er, not actually a bad idea!
Anyone else find stuff to love about healthy living?
It's Memorial Day, which is supposed to be a somber day of remembrance. So let's do take at least a moment or two for some gratitude and reflection.
See, that wasn't so hard, was it?
However, Memorial day is also a great excuse to celebrate sunshine and friends and family and food and playing outside. This means there's a good chance many of you are out having fun, and not sitting inside at your computer reading health blogs. At least that's what I'm counting on! Because I've been out having fun as well and was too lazy to write an actual serious blog post for today.
Now it happens to be baby dyke weekend here in Provincetown, but that's not the source of the wild pictures. (Though someday I will have to blog about it because it really is a fascinating sociological phenomenon. Huge numbers of college-age lesbians arrive and take over the town and do some serious, serious partying. And the nomenclature is not meant to be offensive--that's just what it's called. If you tried to refer to it as "young lesbian weekend" no one would know what the heck you were talking about.)
But anyway, these are pictures are of a different kind of "wild life."
Sadness warning: They're of a dead finback whale we saw this weekend on Herring Cove beach.
Gosh, who says health blogs can't be fun!!!
But heck, it's not very often you get to view a large whale up close from several angles, so I thought I'd share a few shots for those of you who are curious and can get past the "dead animal" part. If it's any help, local whale researchers were really excited because they think they can get a lot of useful information from the poor guy. We were not, however, intrepid enough to stick around to photograph the autopsy.
(And maybe next year, in an effort to boost male readership, I'll try to post some pictures of inebriated topless lesbians brawling in the streets. But in the meantime, enjoy Dead Whale Day here at Cranky Fitness!)
Note: I know it's a hassle, but for some reason the pictures are a lot more interesting if you click on them.
In case this next one's difficult to figure out--the whale's tongue has for some reason swollen to enormous proportions.
And, um, yeah--it does appear to be a male whale.
So does anyone have any large dead animals to report? Or any fun, offbeat, silly, frustrating, unexpected, and/or relaxing events to relate from your holiday weekend? Or did you even get a holiday weekend?
So it's a day early for a Thanksgiving post, but heck, it's close enough, right? At least I'm not blogging about Christmas yet, be thankful for that.
I'm mindful that it's traditional when writing about Thanksgiving, particularly if one is female, to pick one of these tried and true topics:
How to Prepare a Sumptuous Thanksgiving Feast
How to Not to Eat 15,000 Calories in One Meal and Subsequently Explode
How to Avoid Becoming Psychotic With Stress and Killing All Your Annoying Relatives
How to Rationalize the Fact That Decades After the Advent of Feminism, Women Still Pretty Much Slave Away in the Kitchen While Men Get to Sit on Their Asses And Watch Football
Or, most traditional of all: Time to Feel All Thankful and Shit.
If you had to guess, which one would do you think I’d pick?
So, did you pick "Time to Feel All Thankful and Shit?"
Yes, this is Cranky Fitness, but even the Crabbiest of Crabs has to occasionally acknowledge some Awesome Things to feel grateful for. But don't worry; this will be gratitude with a lot of swear words mixed in, because why the hell not.
Gratitude is Good for You!
First, a bit of science to class up the blog:
(I know, I use this picture all the time. I just like it.)
Gratitude research (yes, there is such a thing--doesn't that almost make you want to go back to school?) says that:
People who kept gratitude journals exercised more regularly, had fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives, and were more optimistic than those were were told to record "hassles" or neutral life events.
The Grateful Group was also more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals; and,
Self-guided gratitude exercises (no, sorry, not a euphemism for masturbation) increased alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy.
I used to keep a mental gratitude list, and then got out of the habit. But I gotta get back to it, especially with such cool bonus benefits like better health and energy and goal attainment. Selfish Gratitude? Sounds like a concept I can get behind!
Making a Gratitude List
I think the trick here is to do it often, so you can make it short and mix it up a little each time. At least that's my theory. Because if I tried to be comprehensive my list would run 97,023 items long. (I'm one hella fortunate Crab). You'd all get bored and go off to watch tv or pick a fight with your in-laws or something, and I'd never get to hear what you're grateful for. So I'll try to keep it short and maybe save up some gratitude for next year.
So here goes a very personal, abbreviated list of things I'm grateful for:
1. The Lobster Always number one. 2. Family and friends This totally includes "online" friends. Y'all rock! 3. Merry Sunshine, who Single Handedly Saved Cranky Fitness from Obscurity, Abandonment, and Ill Repute. Besides teaching me all kinds of interesting things, totally cracking me up with her great posts, and being a blast to work with, Merry's joining up as a coblogger kept this blog going! I would have seriously quit by now if I didn't have her to pal around with. Or I would have turned it into a lucrative fitness porn site or something. (Seriously, we get googled for "fitness porn" all the time, there must be some money there).
By the way, Merry's One Year Cranky Fitness Anniversary was this weekend! Dang, I shoulda organized a surprise party.
(And speaking of blog anniversaries, another favorite fitness blogger just had one and wrote a Very Special Anniversary Post).
4. Peanut Butter, Dark Chocolate, Olive Oil, Red Wine, Avocados, Eggs, and Coffee And all the other yummy foods we were warned away from by the "experts" that turned out to be good for us after all.
5. Good health! I know how much pain and disability some people are afflicted with. Even though I may whine about a runny nose or achy knees, I do get how lucky I am to be in overall great health.
6. Great Blogs to Steal Ideas From! Read and Admire! I can't even begin to list all the awesome blogs I read and enjoy or we'd be here until next Thanksgiving. (And I know I am horrible about linking, commenting, blogrolling, and otherwise properly acknowledging all of them. But I hope you know who you are!)
Just as one example: if you're a fan of thankfulness as a concept, and think it's useful for more than one day a year, then Leah over at the Goat's Lunch Pail serves up hot fresh gratitude every Monday!
7. Broccolini It's apparently a hybrid cross between broccoli and Chinese kale, but whatever. It's good for you like broccoli (full of cancer fighting isothiocyanates, sulforaphane and indoles) but it's much tastier. Plus it's fun to say. Actually, it should be sung rather than spoken, to the tune of "Mona Lisa." Broccollllinniii, Broccollllinniii, I adore you... (I know those are not the actual words to Mona Lisa.) (Also, I would sing the Broccolini song only at home and not when you're at the store asking the produce guy if they have any, which at a normal grocery store, they usually don't anyway).
8. Trader Joe's They usually DO have broccolini! Plus, TJ's has prepackaged but reasonably fresh pomegranates to keep you from going crazy peeling the little f*ckers. And they have cute little dark-chocolate covered graham crackers! And whole wheat tortillas and tasty blue corn chips and Fage yogurt! I could go on, obviously.
9. Obama and the Democrats winning the election This isn't a blog about politics but screw it, I'm really pleased about this. I wasn't a big Obama fan at the very beginning (I was for Hilary, as his lack of experience troubled me), but now I'm a big ol' fan. A thoughtful, intelligent, grown-up in charge of the country, hooray! Despite our Supremely Screwed Up Economy, I actually feel optimistic about the future of this country. (OK, maybe not the immediate future... it's gonna take a little while to undo the last 8 years).
10. Running to Cheesy Songs on the iPod. It's all about the beat, and I will listen to the most embarrassing crap imaginable as long as it gets me pumping. There is nothing that compares to running on a beautiful trail with a motivating tune, a caffeine buzz, and an endorphin rush. Even if it means listening to Mouret's Rondeau (the Masterpiece Theater Song) set to a synthesized disco beat. Seriously, I have that one and it's awesome. It's worth totally ruining your knees over and having to spend the rest of your life using a walker. Um, I think. Check back in a few years, I may have changed my mind on that.
11. Blog Sponsors If you are a blogger and invest quite a bit of time into blogging with the delusion goal of earning a little income, you know how difficult and discouraging it can be. I'm so grateful to our current sponsors, particularly the independent ones, Fit Couture and Mio! We're hoping folks check 'em out every now and then and that they decide to stay a while!
12. Drag Queens. And all of the other wonderful things about Provincetown, Massachusetts. Like the Rock Walk, and Tea Dances at the Boatslip (yes, we're probably too old to shake our groove thangs; but no, we don't give a crap and we dance our asses off anyway), Right Whales frolicking off the coast, and inspirational local legends like Mary Oliver and John Waters and Michael Cunningham. Oh, and being able to get legally married and all. That was cool.
13. Cupcakes.
I do not need to explain cupcakes.
14. Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me If I didn't check in with my buddies at the always entertaining NPR quiz show, how would I ever hear about such, um, innovative fitness inventions such as the SpeedFit?
15. Cranky Fitness Commenters Truly you folks are the best. Who else would write hilarious poems about fake twinkies? I love reading what you have to say--you always surprise, entertain, inform, amuse me, and warm the cockles of my Crabby little heart.
So is there anything you're grateful for this Thanksgiving?
So Crabby and her long-time partner the Lobster got married this past weekend, in Provincetown Massachusetts. It's one of the few places in the U.S. where same sex marriage is legal.
Forgive us for not inviting you all, but it was a small private ceremony. I can at least, however, share some of the shocking, lurid details.
Oh wait, sorry--there weren't any shocking, lurid details.
We've been together almost 18 years, and we've now had three "weddings" and two domestic partner registrations in an attempt to make our relationship count under the law. (We were actually even legally married for a few days in San Francisco back in 2004, thanks to Mayor Gavin Newsom. That was fun! But that got shot down fast, and we left the state before the California Supreme Court decided to give gay couples another go at it).
So having done the whole wedding thing several times before, we didn't even drag our families out here for the ceremony. It was held in our living room with just a few close friends, a Justice of the Peace, and the cat, who seemed to enjoy making all the allergic people sniffle and sneeze. But however low-key the celebration, we felt like we should do something--it just didn't seem right to leave Massachusetts for the winter without taking advantage of the chance to finally get legally married under state law.
Given how hard folks are fighting for this simple right, it would be lovely to shout from the rooftops "Hooray, Finally, We're Equal!" But, unfortunately, we're still not. Most of the financial benefits one gets from marriage are federal. (Especially if you're in a relationship where one person earns a lot more that the other. You pay lot more in taxes if you can't file jointly).
Why does the federal government get to ignore legal state gay marriages? I have no idea. But according to the IRS and the Social Security people, etc, we're still complete strangers to one another. Our legal marriage doesn't count like a straight marriage does.
Also, despite the panic among the religious right, it's not exactly like gay marriage has taken the states by storm. Most states have gone out of the way to make sure it never happens by amending their constitutions. And while today there are three states where it's legal (Massachusetts, Connecticut, and California), tomorrow we may lose California because of Proposition 8. (Arrrgggh!)
Yet there's always hope. And every day, happy hopeful gay couples like us keep trying to get married. And that apparently scares the heck out of a lot of people.
Batten the hatches! Bar the door! Hide the kids under the bed! Grab the shotgun, because the gays are gettin' married and you know what's gonna happen next...
Er, what is gonna happen next?
I mean, what's the "scary" thing so many people are worried about? I never get that part.
(I suspect most Cranky Fitness readers are not all that frightened, but some may be. And we do get drop-in googlers who may be even be looking for "gay marriage" just to get themselves all riled.)
Truly, we swear we will not try to mess with your commitment to your own marriage and your own family. We will not encourage you to divorce your spouse or abandon your kids. We will not go door to door throughout your neighborhoods, trying to entice you to join us in our "alternative" lifestyle--which, by the way, pretty much looks exactly like your lifestyle, except that we always leave the toilet seat down and we sometimes borrow one another's shoes.
Why do folks need to deny rights to others in order to honor their own? That seems kinda, well... selfish.
Heck, you can still think of your marriage as more "special" if that makes you feel good. In fact, I think everyone should feel like their own marriage is the most special ever in the history of the entire world.
Perhaps I should let Ellen Degeneres say a few words, because she's much better at this than I am. (The video below is in response to Sarah Palin; Ellen has also added her voice to those speaking out against Prop 8 in California.)
'Cause you know what? Honestly, I'm getting a little tired of folks insisting that their own particular religious rules should control what everyone else around them gets to do.
One thing I love about this country is that we acknowledge that not everyone has the same religious beliefs. It would not work nearly as well if we had to pick just one religion and all live by it, right?
I think it's great that we all get to choose: you can eat pork or not eat pork; you can wear head-scarves or yarmulkes or tiaras. You can drink or abstain; you can go to church on Sunday or stay home and watch football. And now, in a few places, you can get gay-married or not get gay-married!
(Although if you are heterosexual and want to show your support, you don't need to run out and get gay-married yourself. Yes, it may seem like a nice gesture, but really, it's not necessary. We gay folks really appreciate your votes and your donations and all the other support you've been giving to fight discrimination. Please, feel free to keep getting straight-married if that suits you better!)
So, to be serious again for a moment: I know how lucky I am. I found the most generous, funny, compassionate, principled, clever, playful, determined, talented, joyful, patient, all-around amazing person in the world to spend my life with. And I wish everyone that same wonderful experience! Love and commitment should not be rationed out only to special, privileged people. The world needs more love, not less.
If you've made it this far, thanks for hanging in there! I know this is off-topic for a health and fitness blog, and I also know my opinions may seriously piss some of you off.
So the Lobster and I will be heading off soon for our cross country trip, but I'll be popping onto the internet whenever I can. Merry will still be here, and we have some great guest posts lined up. See y'all soon... and don't forget to vote tomorrow if you haven't already!
So the Crab and Lobster spent a lovely spring and summer in Provincetown, Massachusetts.
And now it is fall and that's wonderful too.
(Wish I had better pictures. For awesome fall photography Hilary's your gal).
However from what we understand, winter is not quite as wonderful on the Cape. Plus we have family back in California, and we miss them. So we plan to return soon to free-load off of them spend valuable time with them during the holidays and the colder winter months.
This means that come early November, the Crab will be on the road for two or three weeks, making a somewhat indirect journey across the country. (Yep, for those who have read the "Crabby McSlacker" info page, the Lobster and the Moo will accompany the Crab in Fran the Van).
Fear not, Cranky Fitness isn't going anywhere! Merry will still be here. And there may be a few random on-the-road posts from the Crab as well.
But it would be really cool if we could fill in for some of the Crab's slackitude with guest posts. We've had some great contributions in the past. We know we can't always count on your generosity, but we can sure keep our fingers crossed.
Unfortunately we can't pay anything, but we will certainly link to your fine blog or website or your favorite charity or whatever else you'd like to promote as long as it's not something sleazy. (Well, if it's sleazy in the sense there are many pictures of semi-naked men there as a Feminist Statement, that's fine. But no other sleaze, please.)
So if you are interested in writing a guest post for Cranky Fitness on a health and fitness related topic, we'd be very grateful! Email your post to us at the cleverly disguised (not) email address: Crabby McSlacker at Gmail dot com. (no spaces)
The Fine Print: Posts may be edited for length or based on whim. Also, as I'm getting increasingly fond of the Dreaded "Read More," posts may be broken into two pieces unless they're really short.
And we can't guarantee we'll run every single one, without knowing ahead of time what kind of posts or might get submitted or how many might be coming, but we'll certainly try.
Also, sometimes my gmail account eats things; if you don't hear some sort of acknowledgment within a few days of submitting a guest post, please try again!
It is rare that I write a blog post that is 100% enthusiastic about something.
And don't worry, it's only temporary--still no plans to change the blog's title to "Cheerful Fitness!" anytime soon. Nor do we plan to decorate our blog home with cute kittens, unicorns, or fairy princesses.
(This is more Crabby's style).
But it occurred to me that I have a favorite fitness activity that I've rediscovered, and I've been enjoying it immensely for the past couple months. Remarkably, this activity is (a) healthy and (b) fun and (c) free, so I have to talk about it!
(And no, this is not the healthy, fun, free activity that takes place in the bedroom. You all know about that one already.)
So what is this curious pastime that has me all cheerful and gushy all of a sudden?
Summer Evening After-Dinner Walks.
I LOVE them!!!
Oops, sorry--not sure how that happened! No perky cuteness is allowed at Cranky Fitness.
Anyway, part of my enthusiasm is probably due to the novelty of East Coast summers. Most of my summers had been spent in the San Francisco Bay Area--which means no yucky heat and humidity during the day (hooray!) but also: no warm nights to stroll around in. You can stroll, but, well, you better take a jacket and you're probably not going to have much company.
But now that I'm back east again, how can I justify sitting my ass on the couch and watching t.v. after dinner? It's so lovely outside!
(Damn! How the heck did that thing sneak in? There must be some kind of security breach!)
What was I saying?
Oh right. Summer walks.
As it happens, I'm lucky enough to live in a neighborhood perfectly suited for evening strolls. We're living in a resort town which is (a) scenic; (b) safe; (c) walkable; and (d) full of other enthusiastic evening walkers. Many of them are on vacation and so they're totally drunk off their asses in a very good mood.
Even better--well, this is Provincetown. Mixed among the eccentric evening parade of tourists and locals (we get ALL kinds here) are the paid entertainers, who must circulate energetically in order to sell tickets or earn tips. So we have a multitude of elaborately costumed drag queens; scantily clad male strippers; witty and/or loud-mouthed stand up comedians; earnest folk singers, and even circus burlesque performers, all out showing off and brightening things up.
(And we saw Martina Navratilova the other night, being all smiley and friendly! Tacky hicks that we are, we gawked. I'm not good at the pretend-you-don't notice-the-Famous-Person game. When the Lobster points one out (because I never see them first) I get ridiculously excited).
However, even when I've lived in other East Coast locations with no drag queens or strippers or lesbian tennis icons, I still enjoyed our warm summer evening strolls.
Why do I like them so much?
Well, some reasons are boring and practical: I don't crave dessert like I do when I'm sitting at home, wishing dinner weren't over already. I sleep better. And I burn a few extra calories without it feeling the least bit like a chore.
But I think what really motivates me is that I feel more a part of the physical world, and less like a passive consumer of manufactured, electronic entertainment. And perhaps it's weird, but there's something that feels vaguely transgressive about being outside at night. Maybe because as a kid, I was allowed to run free on summer days, but it was understood that all children had to be home by dark. Or else, unnamed bad things might happen.
So to be outside roaming around at night, even as a grown up? I feel like I'm getting away with something.
Does anyone else like to take after-dinner walks when the weather is good? Seems like there are a million reasons why they might not work for everyone. Kids, jobs, weather, chores, safety concerns...
Is there anyone out there who actually likes to exercise in hot humid weather?
If so, you may want to excuse yourself, because this is going to be one whiny-assed post.
It's not entirely my fault--I've lived most of my life in coastal Northern California. I'm accustomed to mild summers tempered by cool evenings. Except during occasional "heat waves," early summer mornings tend to dawn crisp, fresh and lovely.
Most importantly, I grew up learning that "wet" goes with "cold." Not with "hot."
"Hot" and "wet?" That's crazy talk! Or pornography. Certainly not weather.
And even though I've spent a few random years on the East coast, I seem to forget, like mothers who get amnesia about labor pains. Now that I'm back east again, I'm suffering from a recurrence of an disorder common to California natives: Pleasant Weather Entitlement Syndrome.
So when the weather gets hot and humid, it feels not just uncomfortable, but like something is profoundly wrong.
Somebody must have screwed up. Something is broken. I want my money back! People simply shouldn't be expected to put up with something as ridiculous and gross as summer humidity, it's outrageous! (Last summer I spent a couple months in Washington D.C. and there'd be times I'd walk out of an air-conditioned building and just start laughing out loud).
Here in Provincetown, Massachusetts, the weather is heavenly compared to the Southeast. It hasn't even gotten hot here yet. Not only is P-town located in a northerly location, but if you were to peruse a map looking for a place where refreshing sea breezes would likely be found (and you were not willing to live on a raft in the ocean), it's kinda hard to beat:
And yet I can still find something to gripe about.
Sure, it generally is very pleasant in summer--we just happened to have a few warm muggy days recently.
And....Aacckkk! California girl melts down.
I innocently went for a morning run-- and came back drippy and red-faced and exhausted and miserable. What the heck? What just happened???!!!! Oh, my goodness, it's... it's... humidity!
So I'm wondering: how the hell do you folks who live somewhere with real heat and humidity exercise outdoors? How is it even possible?
Sure I've read the general hot-weather exercise advice you tend to get and it sort of boils down to the obvious:
1. Acclimate slowly; your body, once trained, learns to sweat more quickly and copiously.
(Note: This is great when it comes to exercising! Not so great when you're just trying to get from your car to an important meeting and your well-trained body decides that your dry-clean-only outfit needs immediate drenchification).
2. Drink plenty of fluids.
3. Dress in cool, loose, light-colored clothing.
Probably Not Advisable [Photo credit: Iain Farrell]
Doctor, Sometimes I Just Feel So... Dirty! (Photo credit: Spike)
So there's a new book out called "Who's Your City," which is about different places to live and the people who choose to live in them. And guess what? It's written by a guy named Richard Florida. It would be even cuter if he lived there!
I haven't read the book, but the Boston Globe did a thing on it, and it looks pretty cool. For instance, it has tips about finding the best place to live given your life stage and personality and goals and such.
(Psssst: wanna make some money in real estate? The author went on Stephen Colbert and they both agreed: just follow the gay people around. And hint: they all just moved to Provincetown, Massachusetts!) OK, maybe not every single one.
Anyway, this whole concept of personality and place intrigues me. I'm one of those people who's totally opinionated about good places to live. Theoretically, I know it's all subjective, but in my heart of hearts I truly believe that the places I like are the "best."
People who live elsewhere must therefore either be: (a) unfortunate; (b) complacent; or (c) just plain crazy.
But come to find out, other people with different goals and personalities really do have perfectly legitimate reasons to live where they do. Even if it's somewhere I would hate to live!
Harummph! How is this possible?
So Florida (the guy, not the state) took a look at the way different personality types tend to cluster in different places. Not just in trendy neighborhoods, but in huge swaths of the United States and the world. And he found out some interesting things.
For example, check this out:
(Note: If you can't see it very well, you can go here instead--it's the "personality map").
Isn't it cute how the "agreeable people" all got together and decided to form a picture of a duck?
And isn't it sad that apparently a big part of the country forgot to have any personality at all? Whoops!
I was relieved to find out that I've entirely avoided living places where the "extroverted" and "conscientious" gather. Instead, I've been drawn to locations where the "open-to-experience" and "neurotic" folks hang out. Exactly on target!
Sorry Extroverts! You'll Just Have to Amuse Yourselves Without Me. (Photo by adwriter)
So why do people with similar personality traits end up clustering together? According to Florida, one possibility is selective migration. Agreeable and conscientious types do NOT like to move, and the extroverts and open to experience people do, so people start sorting themselves into similar personality types.
Sure, sounds plausible. Whatever.
To me, as interesting as the big regional variations are, they seem kinda minor compared with the "neighborhood" factors. If you live in a hip urban neighborhood in say, New York--wouldn't you have more in common with people in a hip urban neighborhood in San Francisco or Chicago or even Paris? Instead of, say, other Northeastern folks who live in gated suburban communities or retirement homes or housing projects or farm towns?
The Sushi Place? No Problem. Make a Right at the Church,
Then Straight Ahead for About 300 Miles. Can't Miss It. (Photo by docman)
I would tend to agree with the author that the place you live has a huge impact on your life. It can affect your employment options, the kind of people you'll meet, and even your opportunity to exercise and find healthy things to eat. (This is, after all, a health blog so it seemed wise to work in something about health. And hey, Cranky Fitness did actually do a post once on the importance of walkable neighborhoods).
Yet it seems like a lot of people just stay where they were born, or end up somewhere sort of arbitrarily and get trapped there, without ever really choosing.
How about you folks, do you like where you live? Does it suit your goals and personality? Did you choose it, or get stuck with it?
Do any of you have a particular walk or hike that you love so much that you'd move over 3,000 miles just to get to enjoy it whenever you wanted?
Well, I don't either, I swear. There are LOTS of reasons we moved to P-town, not just for the Rock Walk. (And "the Rock Walk" is just our name for it, I have no idea what the locals call it).
But for me the Rock Walk is one of those rare experiences, like a massage or a cup of coffee in the morning, that I pretty much always enjoy. It's not exercise, because exercise is a pain in the ass, and this is fun. We've been coming here for years, yet I never seem to get tired of it, no matter how many times I've gone back and forth over the same damn rocks. Each time feels unique, with variations in tides and weather and seasons and wildlife and such.
Still, I worry that now that we're going to be here at least half the year, I'll just do it too many dang times and wear it out. Should I consider rationing it? Just once a week or something? But then I have coffee every morning and I haven't worn that out yet...
This is a terrible time of year to take a picture of the rock walk, because the sea-grass (or whatever that stuff that pokes out of the water is) is a dowdy brown color. The walk is much prettier when the grass is lush and green, or even better, when it's dressed in autumn reds and golds.
It also doesn't help that I'm crap at taking pictures. Hey Hilary, could you please pop on over to Provincetown and give me a hand here?
As Close as I get to Meditation
Oddly enough, doing the Rock Walk involves walking on rocks. They are mostly big wide flat rocks, but there is enough un-evenness to require a certain sort of subtle attention, most of which is not even conscious. A few jumps, a little scrambling here and there--there's just enough maneuvering to keep a good part of the body and brain pleasantly engaged. If one is prone to trances, it is a great little trance-inducer.
(However, I have a particularly obstinate brain that can keep up the mind-chatter even on the Rock Walk. But I believe it's quieter chatter).
The scenery gets more beautiful the further out you get (better pictures this summer, I promise) but all along the way there are birds and shells and pretty ripples in the sand and weird washed-up things to check out. And if there is anything more calming than the sound of the tides gurgling and whooshing through the rocks, I sure as hell don't know what it is.
At The End
I usually just turn around and go back. Round trip from town, it's about 90 minutes, and, well, there are no bathrooms out there and given my morning coffee consumption I'm usually pretty ready to head for home. But for those with bigger bladders or who don't mind peeing behind a rock or in the water, there are uncrowded beaches to frolic on and a lighthouse to go take a look at.
(Also, as we discovered one summer afternoon a few years ago, there's apparently other fun to be had. An unusually long walk took us by a remote section of beach where the boys in the dunes were not very inhibited! Fortunately, if you've got little ones in tow, they'll tucker out long before you'd happen by this rather X-rated display of natural wildlife. And it wasn't just nude sunbathing, either, if ya know what I mean. The activity was strangely un-furtive though, we got a cheerful wave from a couple of guys as we passed by on our hike).
Does anyone else have a walk that you just love, or that has unusual scenery of any sort? Cranky Fitness would love to hear about it!
And Note: Do not adjust your computers--I will not be this mellow and boring indefinitely. Crabbiness will soon reappear... in fact, faced with a mountain of moving boxes to deal with, I can feel some coming along nicely already!
