The Problem With Gratitude

Photo found here: Lack of Gratitude

By Crabby McSlacker

Seriously, a blog post dissing Gratitude? Have I gone completely bonkers?

It's hard to think of a more ridiculous target for complaint. Gratitude is pretty much universally acknowledged to be the most healthy, positive, healing, transformative, awesomest mental state we can possibly cultivate. Right?

Gratitude practice is a Thing now, backed by libraries full of gratitude research. Short of advocating that we step up our efforts to club more baby seals, or start tossing crippled old people out of their wheelchairs for sport, or convert all our national parks into nuclear testing sites, it's hard to imagine a less defensible position than one griping about gratitude.

But hell, I'm up for it!

Carpe Diet! The Recession Diet, Cranky Fitness style

You know that phrase, dance as if nobody's watching?


I've updated it for today: Live as if you've already been laid off.

After reading the daily news, I started thinking what I would do if Crabby laid me off. For starters, I would go 100% vegetarian, grow my own lettuce and kale and things like that.

Then I thought -- why shouldn't I start doing this already? Apparently living as if you were laid off is becoming quite the In trend-du-season. There's even been a catchy name coined for people who do this: Recessionistas. Wiktionary defines this term as "who is able to stick to a tight budget while still managing to dress stylishly."


If I were laid off, I like to think that I'd read a lot of finance blogs, like The Simple Dollar for tips on how to cut back on expenses. Stop using my car to get about -- bicycle, walk, or take the train to get places. I'd read the Escape from Cubicle Nation blog to get enthusiasm for finding my ideal job. I'd eat lots more vegetables.

Hmmmn.
Why don't I do that now? Following this process would be good for me.
I'll save money, feel cheerful about my job, and become extremely healthy.

It's true that were I laid off, I would have a lot more time to do these things. On the other hand, the time to start living this way is while you're still employed.

Why? Because...

Once laid off, based on past experience, I'd probably sink into depression and stay in bed half the time, then go on frantic job searches, forgetting about details such as healthy vegetables and exercise.

Then I'd sit by the phone biting my nails rather than something useful like washing the floor, or polishing the door or trying to ignore some other bore chore. Probably start writing paragraphs that rhymed for no readily apparent reason.

So I figure this is the time to seize the moment. Carpe Diet. Make it a habit while I can. If nothing else, focusing my attention on living this way will take my mind off the daily news. (And does anyone else think maybe they should go on a News diet, just to clean the mind out?)

Judging by what's out there in Internet land, everybody's thinking along similar lines.

The BBC did a video report on the new Recession diet.
[Text for the video-impaired: everybody's eating at McDonald's these days, because it's cheaper.]

Diet Blog wrote about getting a recession-proof body.

Get Rich Slowly wrote about cutting your TV bill in half.

Even the New York Times had a post about their version of the Recession diet -- buying a cheaper brand of marshmallows.

The best advice I saw on this subject was the Recession Diet post written by The Simple Dollar back in April of last year: focus on inexpensive staple foods, keep to your shopping list, "Pay attention to what you like that also happens to be healthy... especially when it's on sale."

Do you have any good Recession Diet tips that you could share? I figure we're all in this together. We can toast that cheaper brand of marshmallows over the fire while we're at it.

Photo credit: mikebaird

Coping with the downturn: a quiz

Guess what? The experts have decided that it's official: we're in a recession.

Gee whiz, really?

Being an economic forecaster is something like being a weatherman reporting on yesterday's news. It's much more interesting to be a blogger, especially on a blog like this one.

How's your economic attitude?

Rather than writing a serious, perceptive, and intellectually challenging post about the economy, it seems like a much better idea to present you with a pop quiz. You've read all about the economy -- if you haven't experienced a layoff, you've probably felt the chill breeze of one pass nearby. Are you prepared, attitudinally, for this economic climate?


The Quiz

A) Your boss calls you into her office and says that you're being downsized.
Your response is to:

1 - Go home, curl up in a dark room, and whimper.

2 - Go out and eat a dozen brownies. (Sugar is good for shock, yeah, that's the ticket.)

3 - Ask her, "Does 'downsize' mean I'll fit into my skinny jeans?"

4 - Put on your running shoes and do a long run... as far from work as possible.


B) The company has decided to enforce time off during Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's holiday weeks. In other words, you're taking the time off whether you have vacation time saved up or not. You decide to:

1 - Buy a bunch of stuff at the mall to cheer yourself up.

2 - Eat your way steadily through all the Thanksgiving leftovers, chocolate Advent calendars, and even aunt Agnes' deadly annual fruitcake. It's wasteful to throw away food, plus there's less clutter that way.

3 - Decide to use the time to finish your Great American Novel (or Great Canadian Novel, Great Peruvian Novel, you get the idea). That way, when the company actually does go under, you'll have a book ready to be published.

4 - Spend the time off working out three or four hours a day. Hey, it worked for Madonna.

C) Because of the relatively low cost of gas, your grandmother, mother-in-law, and your aunt Fanny each expect you to drive to their house for a holiday dinner ... on the same day. Do you:

1 - Forge a doctor's note and try to convince the relatives that you're suffering from lethargy, lumbago, and leprosy.

2 - Drive from one house to the next and eat three full dinners.

3 - Delegate the blame decision and let your significant other decide.

4 - Annoy all three by deciding to do what you want to do instead.


*******************
Add up the numbers to determine how prepared you are, attitude-wise, for the recession.

3 points. You have a sensitive soul, which in this economy means you're probably going to be toast. Need to try the emotional equivalent of boot camp to toughen up -- or else marry a billionaire until the recession is over.

4 - 6 points. Using food as an emotional band-aid is a bad idea when you're supposed to be tightening your belt. Can you try another approach for dealing with turmoil? (And if so, could you let me know what it is?)

7 - 9 points. You have a nice combination of optimism and sneakiness. If you can find a way to throw in some ruthless cunning and guile, you might make it through this downturn relatively unscathed.

10 - 12 points. Given the fact that people who are obese encounter more job discrimination than people who are fit, you're probably in pretty good shape in both senses of the phrase. Of course, you're going to feel pretty silly about all that exercising when the sensitive soul goes out and marries a billionaire, but that's life.

Well, how did you do? Should I do a post on the number of single billionaires in the world today, or do you think you'll get through this okay?

Graphic: Azrainman

It's not right that it's not light

[Written by Mary]

I hate writing depressing blog posts. But damn, it's dark out there. Dark as nothing and nowhere and hopelessness all put together. It makes me want to go to bed, pull the covers over my head, and curl up in a tight fetal position, hoping all the dark/dank/gloom stuff will pass by.

They've got a Name for this sort of thing. SAD, seasonal feelings of depression.

I always felt mildly depressed at this time of year even back in California, which in my neck of the state was about 38 degrees longitude. Up in Oregon, further North than the 45th parallel ("exactly halfway between the equator and the North pole," to quote the freeway sign as you pass Salem), it gets dark before 4:00 in the evening. To me, that's just fundamentally UnNatural. It's Wrong. It makes me want to Write In Capitals.
Seems like the natural urge at times like this is to do nothing. Curl up in a ball and hibernate until Mother Nature stops being such a mother. Maybe eat heaps of pasta or something else with lots of starchy calories.

*****************
But wait! It's okay to go starchy like a giant Marshmallow Mary. Or at least it's understandable. Studies suggest that that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects the brain chemical serotonin. Judith J. Wurtman, in an article SAD, Serotonin and Carbohydrates, points out that "This lack of serotonin explains the symptoms of winter depression, especially carbohydrate craving. Serotonin is made only when sweet and starchy carbohydrates (except fruit) are eaten. If protein is eaten along with the carbohydrates, no serotonin is made. So eating carbohydrates is therapeutic. The brain makes new serotonin, and the symptoms of SAD diminish."


So chowing down on pasta and potatoes and suchlike foodstuffs is a normal reaction, the body's attempt to right the hormonal balance. It's not a kind of giving in to the darkness, but an attempt to fight it.

Dr. Wurtman suggests eating protein for breakfast and lunch, and making dinner a more carbohydrate-exclusive meal. Might be worth a try. It makes sense that if your body needs carbohydrates, you could give in to the craving for one meal a day. That might help keep the cravings more reasonable and prevent the pigging-out-on-pasta syndrome.

I can recommend the use of light-therapy gadgets to increase the amount of natural-seeming light in a room. They can help. Even so (one last whine on this topic), the whole idea of the world getting so dark so early feels Wrong.

Do you go through these SAD feelings each winter? If so, how do you cope? (Or do you cope?) Any suggestions would be most welcome.

Urinal Lot of Trouble Now...

It's Random Friday, Special Tasteless Edition!

It had to happen eventually: Cranky Fitness descends to bathroom humor to fill out a Friday post. However, don't panic: the actual urinal pictures don't appear until the end and you can cut away well before that and go visit a much more grown up health blog.

Like for instance, That'sFit, where Crabby stole noticed these three items:

Apparently this past Wednesday was declared Sex Day in Russia, as couples in the Ulyanovsk region were given the day off work in order to, well, do their best to personally boost declining population numbers. For those with excellent timing, prizes like cars, or TV's will be awarded to reward couples who give birth exactly nine months later on "National Day." Quoth the Dude in Charge: "If there's a good, healthy atmosphere at home within the family, if the husband and wife both love each other and their child, they will be in good spirits... so there'll be a healthy atmosphere throughout the country!"

On the other hand, there's this depressing statistic: One in ten American women smoke while pregnant! Actually it was even worse than that: 22% smoked at least sometime during their pregnancy, and 12% were classified as nicotine dependent. The smokers also suffered high rates of depression which made it harder to quit. Reading this, Crabby found herself suffering a sudden high rate of depression and the emergency administration of Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds was required. (Is there a Patch for that?)

But on a more cheerful note, folks in Baltimore have been taking advantage of free exercise equipment stationed around Druid Park, including rowing, elliptical, back and leg press machines. Crabby will try to stow her usual pessimism and assume the absence of vandalism and the existence of magical Equipment Maintenance Fairies (or perhaps Druids?) to keep the things in working order. Or perhaps these machines function differently than the ones in her gym and do not break down ever three minutes.

And a couple more quick heath notes for women: First, get some sleep! Women are much more susceptible than men to blood pressure problems if they don't get more than 5 hours of shut-eye every night. And second, if you take the Pill and are worried about cancer--a new study suggest that cancer risk may actually be slightly reduced among Pill takers, at least for those taking it fewer than eight years. The study looked at data from 46,000 women over 36 years, back far enough to include years when the dosage was much higher than it is now. It also appeared the protective effects lasted at least 15 years after stopping.

Enough health? Now on to the Usual Randomness! (And the first few aren't even tasteless).

For those who haven't already found this over at The Goat's Lunch Pail or at Women of Mystery, there is a quick, fun, and often Weirdly Accurate Personality Test that tells you what famous novel you most resemble. There are only six questions to answer, and the answers tend to be put in mostly flattering terms, so there's little to fear!

Unfortunately, Crabby has been alerted to another funny blog, and she's not sure she she's supposed to get anything done if she keeps reading random posts and laughing and being overcome by murderous jealousy hearty appreciation and everything. (The culprit who alerted her was Vanilla over at Half-Fast, but Crabby is not even going to link to him again because he's going to think she's stalking him. But you know where to find him, or if you don't--just keep refreshing this page and adding to Crabby's Page View statistics looking for his blog until it magically appears in the blogroll over on the side bar).

This Awkwardness Survival Guide is also quite amusing, as it includes instructions on what to do in quite a few uncomfortable situations, including when:

"A waiter entreats you to enjoy your meal and you respond with 'you too;'

"Out of habit, you end a phone conversation with 'I love you' when not talking to your significant other; or,

"You call your teacher 'mom.'"

Crabby has done many of the Embarrassing Things listed, so she found it reassuring to discover there were others out there just as clueless.

And so, now to the Potty-related Part of the Post!

First up, Jennifer at Off-Beat Homes brings us, for real, plans for building The Poop House. She asks if you'd ever consider living there. Crabby says, "No Way in Hell!"

And then The Lethological Reader introduces us to A Perplexing new Product: Pee Powered Batteries!

And next are two pictures of Urinals, one that Crabby found Amusing, and the other Downright Offensive! Try to guess which is which, and feel free to tell her what you all thought, as well as sharing any thoughts, feelings, opinions, or off-color jokes or whatever else you may have going on in your Clever Creative minds!

First Urinal, photo courtesy of NerdTests:



Second Urinal, brought to you by Gadling:



And have a great weekend folks!

Friday!

Afraid there's not much Health Research Reporting this Friday, because Scientists Were on Strike All Over the World Crabby was lazy, but let's run through a couple of studies just so we can pretend this is an Educational Health Blog. (Don't worry, the charade won't last for long).

So a Brown University study discovered "a solid association" between depression and living in a damp, moldy home. One interesting note: the researchers were completely surprised, as they had actually set out to show the opposite. They were trying to debunk previous studies that showed a link, figuring that there were other associated factors such as employment status and crowding that hadn't been taken into account before. But nope, turns out it actually was the mold!

Can menopause make you fat? Though this study involved rats, the surgical simulation of post-menopausal conditions, and estrogen supplementation, researchers felt it suggested a link between estrogen levels and the regulation of obesity. (Millions of middle-aged women throughout the world were shortly thereafter heard to shout, in unison, "See, I f**cking told you so!")

And for our last bit of research: Summer babies are more likely to end up wearing Coke-bottle glasses. According to this study, babies born in born in June and July had a 24% greater chance of becoming severely myopic (near-sighted) than those born in December and January. “It is probably a long-term effect of early-life exposure to natural light that increases the chances of a child becoming short-sighted,” said the Smart Scientist, Michael Belkin. As an extremely nearsighted Crab (born in June), Crabby found this study intriguing. But she likes Belkin's previous research even better: he found a strong correlation between myopia and intelligence. “It is not a myth at all that people who wear pop-bottle glasses are smarter. They tend to be,” he said.

Okay, done with Research! Here's some other random stuff:

Check out this awesome blog which has a hilarious product review. Female readers, in particular, you really must at least take a look.

And via Elastic Waist, this is a pretty fascinating comparison of pictures of gorgeous actresses both "primped up" and, well, not so carefully put together for the camera. Crabby is generally a fan of the "natural" look, but, wow, this was weirdly surprising and entertaining.

Can't help it: Crabby, having sent you over to Vanilla's blog just last week, feels silly doing it yet again but she can't seem to help herself. This post cracked her up.

Want some fun exercise? Okay, these are not 'real' exercises; they only involve moving your thumb or your wrist, depending on how you like to move your cursor around. But otherwise, these links have nothing to do with health and fitness! You can try the Cute or the Not Quite as Cute version.

And finally, Crabby always finds herself amused by the Helpful Suggestions Google has for products she might enjoy, based on whatever e-mails she's currently reading. This ad came up while she was viewing reader comments on her post about How to Get Up Early.

Enjoy the long weekend, folks! Crabby may return for part of it, or may not. But the only way to find out is to refresh that page continuously! Or hell, go out and have a good time.