Showing posts with label Bicycles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bicycles. Show all posts

October 26, 2015

Be Careful Out There


image: skyloader 
By Crabby McSlacker

This post is going to be a bit of a downer, sorry. It could be disturbing to read. (And not just in the usual way my rambling prose, illogical conclusions, and inconsistent adherence to rules of grammar are disturbing. I mean sad and sobering and depressing in a bigger sense).

But a semi-abandoned blog seems as good a forum as any for me to process stuff "out loud," right? As they say, blogging is cheaper than therapy.

And when life slaps you in the face with a graphic warning of the horrible ways in which one momentary lapse in judgment can have huge consequences, it feels important to take it in. And even share that warning more broadly, however unpleasant the reminder might be.

Gosh, sounds like a fun blog post, huh?

July 27, 2015

Death Ride 2015


Guest Post by Death Ride Grandma

A gripping tale about a grueling endurance ride, ascending 5 mountain passes with over 15,000 feet of climbing? You KNOW that's gotta be a guest post.  Because there is no way in hell that Crabby herself would undertake such craziness.

Death Ride Grandma, a beloved commenter here, recently attempted for the third time to finish this brutal ride. I know many of you regulars may be curious about whether she succeeded, and how things went along the way. So please welcome the always-inspirational Death Ride Grandma! --Crabby


Each year I said I would never, ever do it again. This year I had an ironclad excuse. I was to attend a wedding in London in mid-July. Then I double checked, and it was not until August. Then my niece announced her wedding date: July 10, at Lake Tahoe. Lake Tahoe is about 40 miles from the Death Ride, which was on July 11 this year. It almost seemed like fate.

March 19, 2015

Further Adventures of Death Ride Grandma: Costa Rica!


Cranky Fitness "regulars" may recall that Death Ride Grandma came to fitness late in life, but eventually got into bicycling in a big way.  She is a treasured blog commenter here, and has been generous enough to share several of her challenging rides with us--allowing us all the vicarious thrills without the airfare charges, sunburn, or burning thighs. Curious about what it might be like to bike across Costa Rica?  Here's a chance to find out! --Crabby

Guest Post By Death Ride Grandma

Well, what did you expect?

A bit of history: several years ago, we went on a fairly small boat in Costa Rica. We had naturalists on board, and saw incredible wildlife and beautiful places; it was enough to make us realize we would love to know more about what may well be the eco-tourism center of the world. So when, 11 years later, I spotted the Companions Wanted ad in a cycling magazine (no, not Craigslist!), not a commercial ad (no reason to expect that the writer knew anything) seeking a few like-minded people to ride bikes from coast to coast in Costa Rica, we decided to do it.

March 12, 2015

Pedaling to Peoria—and Beyond!

photo: wikipedia

By Jan Bono

So we've got another fun post from contributor Jan Bono! I'm pleased she's writing regularly for Cranky Fitness for the time being, a couple of posts a month. Her contributions and those of other generous guest writers are allowing me to steal time for a Secret Writing Project, yay! (Why so secret? It's because as patient longtime readers can attest, I've announced and abandoned so many projects over the years that I don't want to get specific until I've stuck with it a while longer and am sure it's a Real Thing.) Anyway, you can read more about Jan on our info page and don't forget to check out her funny and inspiring book, “Back from Obesity: My 252-pound Weight-Loss Journey.” Besides the print edition, it's also available on Jan's smashwords page. --Crabby

Disaster!

By my estimation, I wasn’t quite half way back from New York City when the odometer on my bicycle stopped functioning. Now I'll never be totally sure how long it took me to pedal coast to coast and back—this trip!

June 18, 2014

What Exercise Doesn't Suck as Much as You Think it Will?


By Crabby McSlacker

It may not come as a great shock to those of you who are regular readers, but...

I don't always enjoy my workouts. And I almost never look forward to them.

Yep, some days it's all about sighing and moaning and procrastinating and finally guilting or bribing myself into crossing exercise off the "to-do" list. Especially if strength training or high intensity intervals are involved.

But the totally moronic thing is: I often find myself feeling reluctant and whiny and foot-draggy about fitness activities that I almost always enjoy once I get off my ass and do them.

How screwed up is that?  Why can I not learn, after many repeated instances of non-suckitude, that just physical exertion is not always an odious chore?

Do any of you guys struggle with this?

January 22, 2014

Back in the Saddle?


By Crabby McSlacker

You may wonder: what sort of an asshat would post blog pictures of bikes and sunny beaches when most of the country is facing bone-chilling, freakishly miserable winter weather?

OK, yeah, so this sort of an asshat.

Hi There!

But it's sort of a photo-journey about facing fears and taking risks and all that sort of crap.

I'm hoping maybe you could put on a couple sweaters and make some hot chocolate or do whatever you brave people do who live where it's cold in the winter and bear with me?

August 12, 2013

Death Ride


Note: Crabby is futzing around in Toronto this week and may or may not be back later on with a post of her own. She may also be tossing a few random trip photos up on the sad little Cranky Fitness Facebook page if you're really bored.

However, Crabby has left the blog in excellent hands today with an exciting account of, you guessed it, the Death Ride! The cool thing is that this way, you can go along for the ride yourself without experiencing sunburn or a sore ass or an untimely death.

So please welcome one of our favorite Cranketeers...

Death Ride Grandma! Take it away, DRG!!


Death Ride? Death Ride???

Why would anyone sign up for a ride with that name?

It’s a very popular ride. It accepts 3500 registrations, and around 3000 actually show up and try to ride it. It sells out within hours of opening the registration process. Yes, there are that many crazy people out there.

It says on the website that it involves 129 miles of riding with a total accumulated elevation gain of 15,000’. These exaggerations! From all I have seen and heard, it is only about 123 miles, and the climbing may be closer to 14,000’. It starts in Markleeville, California. It involves riding up and down both sides of Monitor Pass, both sides of Ebbetts Pass, and the east side of Carson Pass, plus any local roads required to get from one pass to the next. Plus returning to the start just when you think you’re through.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t finish.

July 30, 2013

Crabby's Epic Adventure!


Yeah, this was supposed to be a post for Monday, and it was also supposed to be about health and fitness. Specifically, it was about consumer online genetic testing services. Then it was going to be about bicycling.

But instead, how about a tale of adventure, wanderlust and shocking surprises? There are lots and lots and lots of pictures (let's pretend that's a good thing), and even kinda a fitness angle!

Ok, so maybe not. But I rode my bike around while researching portions of this post.  Does that count?



Work with me here, people.

May 23, 2013

A Late Start


This awesome guest post is by one of our favorite Cranketeers, Death Ride Grandma! 

Crabby and The Lobster are undertaking their season migration from one coast to the other, this time via airplane rather than in Fran the Van.  Crabby is most likely, at this very moment, cursing sleepless redeye flights and crappy 6 a.m.airport food choices and barfy ferry rides and the necessity of unpacking random boxes of crap in order to find coffee-making supplies and clean underwear. So how awesome is it to have an inspirational post from an articulate kick-ass blog comment contributor instead of bleary blog blatherings from a semi-comatose crustacean?

And now please welcome... Death Ride Grandma!

Advantages of taking up serious exercise when you’re…when you’re…well, not exactly young any more:

1)    You have a lot less wear and tear on those joints. Runner’s knee? Much less of a worry if you have been swaddling that knee in cotton and wool for 45 years or so.
2)    Really, how many 55-year-olds are regularly setting personal bests?
3)    Regular access to free, legal, safe drugs.*
4)    You can seriously impress your doctor.
5)    And your friends and relatives.
6)    And yourself.

This is my story. Before you go looking for inspiration on your own fitness journey, fair warning: you will not be wanting to find your inspiration the way I found mine.

December 01, 2011

Can You Work Out Sitting On Your Ass?

Photo: yischon

Sitting and Exercising. Why are these two activities so hard for some of us to put together?

Depressing studies about the negative health consequences of sitting have scared some of us into using treadmill desks or stand-up workstations, but truth is, most of us still manage to spend a substantial amount of time each day on our posteriors. Is there any way we sneak some activity into this overabundance of ass-time?

As it happens, while I have a few resources to offer on this question, I could really use some advice myself an a semi-related Seated Exercise Dilemma, and am hoping a kind reader or two might share their advice or experience.

So want some ideas for sit-down exercise?

Chair Dancing!


I practice a form of this myself in the passenger seat during long car trips. But for the definitive, So Perky You'll Puke Guide to chair dancing, you gotta watch this video (via HuffPo).



Pedal at Your Desk


Studies show health benefits for workers who use those little desk-bike type pedal exercisers. Shockingly, however, the researchers found that people used them less often after the novelty wore off, so be careful before you fork over for one if you're the sort who has a variety of different exercise machines serving as clothes drying racks in your basement already. They seem to come as cheap as $20, but I have no idea if they're crap at this price point. Anyone tried one?


Chair Exercises


So if you have the sort of work environment where you have (a) privacy or (b) open-minded colleagues who won't shun you or call security if they see you deviating from the normal sit-and-slouch-and-slog posture, you may want to experiment with Chair Exercises.

But where to find some?

 Photo: College Candy

Well here's one handy round-up of 3 chair exercise videos. Note: the last one includes a lot of punching, which could be quite useful if you're wanting to cultivate a don't-even-think-about-dumping-any-more-extra-work-on-me-muthaf@#cka-or-you'll-regret-it ambiance around your cubicle.

And if videos don't work for you, here are some written chair exercise suggestions you could check out.

If you're really serious about doing more exercises from your chair, for example if you're elderly or disabled or have issues with standing up on principle, there is the whole Sit and Be Fit empire, complete with a TV program and DVD's for sale etc.

Chairs That Entice You to Move


Some people perch on Swiss balls, and if you're lacking in balance and you don't put it on some sort of stand, then you get the extra exercise bonus of picking yourself up off the floor if you move too suddenly. You can also intentionally lift your feet up off the floor every now and then play with some core/balance work and hope you don't go sprawling across the room just as the boss walks by. Or, if you've got a chair that rocks or swivels, take advantage of it!




And along those lines, there's always the iGallop and Giddyup type riding exercisers. I'm still secretly intrigued by these but have never met anyone who's actually owned one. The chances of mounting one at work and remaining employed are probably low, but wouldn't that make the thought of heading for the office sound much more fun?

And now it's time to...

Help Crabby Figure Out How to Exercise Hard Enough While Seated On A Bike Seat!


So here's my challenge: Being a (sigh) former runner, I've been spending more aerobic and interval time on pedals than I used to. I love the elliptical machine, because as long as I'm sufficiently caffeinated and the music's good, I can "run" along in a fairly low impact way, get my heart rate super high, and even mostly enjoy the process. My glutes and quads and all the other muscles work together in the background and I don't even notice them unless I'm doing intense anaerobic intervals. And then I'm so busy trying to breathe I've got better things to do than notice my muscles complaining.

However, when I go out bicycling, or now that I'm trying spinning classes: I can't get my heart rate up very high unless I'm standing up on the pedals. When I'm sitting on the seat, my leg muscles aren't strong enough (especially on flat roads) to get more than flirting with my aerobic range.

And even this sub-optimal exertion feels awfully unpleasant! I push it for a while but soon find myself both uncomfortably preoccupied with the state of my thighs, and at the same time falling quickly out of my aerobic range. I either need a lot of hills or a spinning class to get aerobic, and even then it ends up being an short interval workout interspersed with a "walking," not a "running," level of exertion.

So, experienced cyclists and spinners, if you have any advice on any of these I'd appreciate it!


Is this a temporary transition issue that will go away if I just suck it up and try harder?


Can you get aerobic without leg burn or is it an inevitable part of your cardio bike work, even when you've been doing it for a long time?


What's the best way to get stronger leg muscles for cycling: separate strength training? (If so, which are the best exercises?) Go for a lot of hills on the bike? Endurance? Seated intervals? What worked for you?

I think I'd like to try THIS bike workout!
Photo by kharied


So, any thoughts on exercise while seated, or any helpful advice for Crabby on her bike? Or hey, just stop by and say hi!

August 08, 2011

Bike Safety: Who Cares?

Bad doggy--where's your helmet?!
Photo: Ronn Aldaman 

If you ride a bicycle on occasion, or prefer not to run over bicyclists while driving, there are a few safety tips to keep in mind.

The good news: many of these suggestions, even the obvious ones, may help you avoid an accident! The bad news: even if you employ every safety suggestion ever offered, you could still get smooshed or wind up smooshing someone. Put bikes and automobiles together, and all too often you end up with injuries and even fatalities.

So who cares? Well, some folks do more than others. For example, research suggests the extent to which you care about bike safety seems inversely correlated with penis ownership.

But while gals may care more about safety in the abstract, we're also perfectly capable of dangerous dimwittery on the roadways. Plus, if you're like me, you may THINK you know what's safe and be missing a few pointers.

So whatever your gender, you may want to ponder, add to, or argue vehemently against the advice in this bicycle safety FAQ.

Q: Crabby, what are your qualifications for addressing bike safety, are you an expert?

A: Glad you asked! I am indeed an expert: in falling off my bike. This winter I managed to break my arm when traveling at about 1/2 mile an hour on a perfectly smooth roadway when something unanticipated crossed in front of me. This makes me extremely cognizant of the notion that you can't be too freakin' careful when riding a bike, especially if you're a bit on the clumsy side, which I am.

Q: Should you wear a helmet?

A: Eh, that depends. After all, helmets are dorky, they mess up your hair, and many of the cool kids eschew them. About the only time you should bother with a helmet are those days you'd prefer not to die of head injuries in an accident. Safety statistics, shcmafety statistics. (Although hard numbers on helmets and safety seem strangely elusive and even controversial; many of the sources citing statistics neglect to say where they came from, and some of the most cited studies have their critics, many of whom are anti-helmet-law activists. Whatever. Even just anecdotal evidence from doctors and nurses I've run into scares me enough that I never ride my bike without one.)

Q: Where should you ride your bicycle?

A: Preferably not on a freeway, through a busy department store, into a lake, off a cliff, or in the path of a runaway train.

More specifically stay as far away as you can get from clueless motorists, slippery surfaces, tire-trapping grates, broken glass, attack dogs, and land mines. Or, for that matter, land mimes.

Clowns too. Steer the hell away from mimes and clowns.

The problem? Sometimes in order to get to beautiful, spacious, smoothly paved bike trails and lanes, you may have to navigate through streets with cars on them. Or perhaps your destination is more practical, like your place of employment, and there are no handy bike trails to take.  In this case, it is best to do some investigating ahead of time so you don't inadvertently end up on the interstate getting rudely side-swiped by wandering Winnebago's or 18-wheelers hauling Hostess Twinkies.

Q: So how do you find bike trails and low-traffic bike-friendly streets?

A: Well, you can scout things out ahead of time in your car. You can pop into your local bike shop, where folks are generally helpful even if you're not buying anything. Or you can go online!  Many areas have cyclist clubs and forums, or local government agencies with bike route information.  Also, one resource I used heavily in San Diego was Google Earth. If your area is well-mapped, you can use this scope out potential routes, and actually SEE possible dangers and annoyances ahead of time.

Sadly, depending on where you live, often there are no routes without dangers and annoyances. In that case, your best bet is to move to Amsterdam.

Q: Wait, before I move to Amsterdam, I'm still wondering what the deal was about safety and penises!

A: Right! So over at Julie's Health Club, a very sensible health blog that I didn't know about because it's been hiding at the Chicago Tribune, I discovered there's a gender difference when it comes to biking and bike safety.  Men take twice as many bike trips as women do in the U.S.  Not coincidentally, studies show that women tend to be more risk averse, less reckless, and more concerned about bike safety than men are. According to Jan Garrard, an Australian researcher, women are more likely to use off-road paths than roads. “The real and perceived risks of cycling are enhanced among women, and this ranges from concerns about serious injuries to the everyday hassles often associated with cycling.”

Q: If you do have to share the road with cars, what should you keep in mind?

A: Generally, it is safest to assume that the motorists you see are all drunk, blind, experiencing medical emergencies, and yet simultaneously texting their friends to inquire about weekend plans.  In short, drivers may not see you even if you are RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF THEM.

So be as visible as possible! At night, don't ride without lights and reflective clothing. During the day, choose a colorful outfit so motorists are more likely to see you and pay attention.

OK, maybe not this outfit.
Photo: San Diego Shooter

Q: What if there are no bike lanes, can I ride on the sidewalk?

A:  Putting aside the fact that it's generally illegal, it's rare that it's any safer on the sidewalk.  Riding on sidewalks (or on the wrong side of the road), is actually more dangerous even though it may seem less creepy than having fast-moving cars coming up from behind you and whizzing by at close range. Not only is there the pedestrian issue, but also cars coming in and out of driveways or streets don't think to look on the sidewalk for bikes.

Q: Should I stay as far to the right as possible?

A: While it's generally a good plan to ride on the right shoulder of the road, there are times where it's safer to move a bit further left to avoid being "doored."  In addition, sometimes you may need to move even further to the middle and "take the lane." These and other situations are explained in detail with diagrams and dramatic headings like "The Red Light of Death," at a site called "Bicycle Safe." As someone who has on occasion passed cars on the right, stood in the wrong place while waiting for a traffic light to change, and yes, ridden on sidewalks, I found the warnings helpful if a bit sobering.

Q: What are some other safety tips for cyclists?

A: Don't be a butthead! This is harder than it sounds, because even cyclists who consider themselves careful sometimes get in a hurry and get a bit reckless or go too fast. We also tend to feel a bit self-righteous about our mode of transportation and take stop signs as "suggestions." I still think this is fine when you can see clearly that no one is coming from any direction, but too often cyclists act like their teeny tiny carbon footprint gives them the "right" to ignore all traffic laws and entitles them to cut in front of cars that have the right of way. Not only is it rude, it could get you killed.

Q: What other safety equipment do you recommend?

A: Personally, I use a rear-view mirror--I've got a tiny one that clips onto my sunglasses; when I finally get it positioned right (rare), it really does help to know what's going on behind me. Another idea is a horn or bell. It took me forever to buy one, probably because when I'm out walking on a path and some bike comes up behind me going "Brrinng! Briingg! Brrriiiiinggg" I immediately think: You Asshole. That's because I instinctively translate the sound of a bell ringing as: "get out of my way, stupid pedestrian, or I'll run you over!" However, when on a bike, I know that it just means, "Hi, I'm coming up behind you, please don't suddenly lurch right in front of me, ok?" And unfortunately calling out "on your left," however calmly, often causes pedestrians to hear "left," panic, and then leap leftwards right into your path. A bell, sounded well in advance, seems to get better results even if it does cause a bit of pedestrian harumphing.

Q: What should drivers keep in mind to avoid running into cyclists?

A: Remember to look for them, especially when making turns or opening doors. Also, assume that some of them will be the Butthead sort of bicyclists, who may ride recklessly and ignore traffic laws. Even if the bike is at fault, you do not want to hit one.

Here's a safety tip (again, from Julie's Health Club) to avoid "dooring" bikes. When opening the driver side door, always use your right hand. "This will force you to twist your body and look back, allowing you to see if any cyclists or walkers are coming by." (However, it seems like if you can remember to do this, you could also remember to take a look around, but hey, every little bit of caution helps!)

And finally, for those who like their bicycle saftey info straight-up, without any swearwords or mention of penises, here's a safety video with additional tips.



Anyone have any better suggestions, scary stories, grievances, or unrelated tales of weekend revelry? It's all good!

December 07, 2009

Taking the "Cross" out of Cross-Training

(Steph spotted this and you can find more here.)


So last week I was griping about heel pain from a self-diagnosed case of plantar fasciitis. You all gave me TONS of great suggestions in the comments, as well as lots of sympathy and encouragement, and this is of course why I love Cranky Fitness readers so much.

As you may recall, I said that until my foot got better, I was going to stop running entirely, and even curtail my long walks. Instead, I planned to stick to the elliptical machine and start bicycling up some hills for cardio.

Long-time readers may have been very suspicious about that breezy declaration.

Because y'all know that anyone who hates change as much as Crabby McSlacker is not going to leap cheerfully into a whole new exercise routine. You had to figure there would be some serious whining and protesting coming along soon.

However, instead of merely complaining, I thought I'd try to make the best of it! I've been busy slaving away in the heavily-guarded inner sanctum of the Cranky Fitness Laboratories, developing my own soon-to-be-trademarked motivational system.

It's a plan especially designed for injury-induced cross-training situations. Because surely I can't be the only one who's been forced to switch to a new activity because I overdid my favorite? I figured others out there could use some help too.

(And yeah, ok, so it's only been a week or so and I haven't actually motivated myself to do much of anything yet. But if Kirstie Alley could start marketing her personally-designed weight loss program before she actually lost any weight, it seems perfectly legitimate for me to start selling people on my new motivational system before I know if it's actually gonna work.)

So, in the spirit of my Somewhat High Intensity Interval Training program, I'd like to officially announce a brand new Cranky Fitness motivational tool. It's called Cognitive Restructuring, Amplifying Positivity®!

Would you like to know more about how this C.R.A.P.® system works?


It starts with a simple idea, borrowed from just about every self-help paradigm you'll ever encounter: when something sucky happens, you gotta hunker down and find the positive aspects rather than abandoning your goals. But unlike most cheerful self-help advice to "turn that frown upside down," the C.R.A.P.® program allows you to be as pissed off and resentful as you like! Here's how it works.

Step One: Gripe!

With the innovative C.R.A.P.® approach, you don't have to pretend to be happy about the situation. Because injuries hurt, and change blows! Go ahead and allow all those negative, grouchy, disgruntled thoughts and feelings rise to the surface. Seriously, if this new cross-training activity was really so wonderful, you'd have already been doing it, right?

Step Two: Layer on the C.R.A.P®.

Yep, once you've fully aired your frustrations, now is the time to smear positive thoughts all over each and every one of them.

Many of your grievances will be specific to your new activity, and I'll provide a sample hypothetical below, but there are some general all-purpose Positive Perspectives suitable to slather on most injury-induced cross-training complaints.

1. You should be cross-training anyway, doofus.

You know it's true. There are a million studies and articles out there that advise you to cross-train. Yet most of us don't bother because it's easier to just keep doing what we like. So the injury could actually be a good thing if it doesn't last too long, but gets you motivated to start doing something different!

2. Things that seem awkward or hard when you start do not stay that way forever.

This may seem obvious, intellectually. But it's really easy to get that "frozen in time" perspective. If you go out and try something and you suck and it's miserable, it can be really hard to trust that you'll get better and maybe even start to enjoy it. It may be helpful, at this point, to recall the many steps it took to get good at your favorite activity. You did not emerge from the womb with the ability to run 5 miles at a good clip or turbo-kick your way through a 60 minute class. It took time and practice!

3. Learning to accommodate unpleasant changes and obnoxious compromises with some degree of grace is a valuable life skill you're gonna need.

Unless you're planning on never getting old. Or if you can guarantee nothing bad is ever going to happen to you. Good luck with that!

Gigi recently had a great post about resilience--and she points out that the ability to bounce back from adverse events is something you can learn. So, hey, might as well start practicing!

4. Variety keeps you motivated to keep exercising for the long haul.

New routines, new equipment, new setting, new rules, new goals--these things can all seem like intimidating barriers to trying a different activity. But once you get more comfortable, the novelty can pump new motivation into your routine. Otherwise, one day you will wake up and think about doing your favorite old activity and suddenly realize: "screw it, I don't want to do that anymore, ever!" The trick to staying fit for a lifetime is to develop alternatives to burnout before you become totally demotivated. And an injury-induced change of scene can actually keep things fresh.

Step Three: Repeat steps One and Two--Over and Over and Over again.

Because more complaints will inevitably arise, and you'll need to layer some C.R.A.P.® on your negative thoughts repeatedly until you actually brainwash yourself that the injury was a good thing. Or maybe you'll get better first, whatever. But you'll feel SO much better doing even a Lame Substitute exercise than you would by making your injury worse, or by sitting on your ass and feeling sorry for yourself.


Practical Example of C.R.A.P.® in action!

Let's just say, purely hypothetically, that a cranky health blogger has injured her foot and has had to switch from running at a favorite pretty reservoir to riding a 20 year-old borrowed 10-speed bike that is not in mint condition. Said blogger is discovering that biking and running are different activities.

Initial Observation #1: How the f#ck are you supposed to do consistent cardio on a bike? My legs aren't strong enough to pump fast enough on flat ground; I need hills. Uphill is hard and gets my heart rate up, but I can't do that for very long. Then when I go down hill, I'm just sitting there not moving at all! It was so much easier to go running; for me it's always aerobic!

Now apply some C.R.A.P.®: The need for 20-30 minutes of uninterrupted cardio for it to "count" is old school! Cardio is still cardio even if you're putting together several 10 minute series of aerobic hills separated by down hill rides. Stop being such a crank and just enjoy the downhill parts. Whee!!!

Initial Observation #2: The uphill gets my heartrate going all right, but OWWWW! My legs aren't that strong and they hurt and this sucks.

Apply more C.R.A.P.®: Well, duh. This will be a great way to build up your leg strength! Maybe, as a bribe, you can even skip some of those icky leg press exercises at the gym for a while.

Initial Observation #3: I can't listen to music like I can when I'm running. I NEED music to motivate me!

C.R.A.P.® to the rescue! Remember how you tried a spinning class once and liked the music but nearly died of leg-misery and swore you'd never come back? Well, if you bike up hills for a few months, you probably wouldn't find a spinning class nearly as miserable and then you can have music AND a change of pace from your normal cardio even once your foot gets better.

Initial Observation #4: It's freezing-ass cold going downhill and too hot going uphill! When I'm running it's easier to layer for the weather.

Try some more C.R.A.P.®: Taking off layers of clothing is a great excuse to stop on a steep hill when your legs are about to give out. Pretend you're only stopping because you're hot, not because you're about to fall over.

Initial Observation #5 It's at least a 20 year old bike and it's not mine! The gear-shirt lever is in the wrong place way down where I can barely reach it, and the gears are all crunchy and there are only ten speeds!

Hang on, C.R.A.P.® can help: Just think how happy you'll be to get back on your own 12-year-old bike, which you also complain about--at least it has 21 speeds and you can find the gears to change them because they're right on the hand grips.

Initial Observation #6: Every week that goes by without running will make me slower and I'm getting out of shape for running and old ladies on walkers will be passing me on the trail!

Try a little more C.R.A.P.®: But meanwhile you have new biking goals that you can focus on. You know you want to make it from Chabot Road all the way up the hill to Skyline Blvd--even though the first time out you could barely reach Uranus!


(And yes, I am still 12 years old and laugh to myself every time I see references to Uranus. And Uranus Ave is exactly where I stopped my first time, I'm not making that up).

Initial Observation #7: On a bike, you have to share the road with cars! Cars are dangerous and they're always running over cyclists and killing them. It's much safer on the sidewalk where you can't ride if you're on a bike!

Yep, that sucks, no amount of C.R.A.P.® can help with that one.

Initial Observation #8: My ass hurts from the bike seat!

One last time and then shall we give this C.R.A.P.® a rest? Yeah, but your butt will get used to it over time. And on the bright side, at least you don't have to wear two running bras to keep your boobs from bouncing.

And there you have it--that's how to use the "Cognitive Restructuring, Amplifying Positivity" approach to motivate yourself to crosstrain!

Anyone else ever tried to talk themselves into a new cross-training activity? Any luck?


May 05, 2009

The lazy woman's guide to exercise

I like the idea of working out while sitting down. It appeals to my inner slug. With gasoline costs rising, and people feeling the need to economize, bicycles purchases are up. And it seems like people are actually riding them. So the lazy woman thought she should write a guide to bicycles.

Cyclists take over I-5!


Note: Before you buy a bicycle, make sure it fits you!
(In the end, comfort rules.)

Dutch bicycle
Pro: These are the old fashioned upright bicycles that are suddenly fashionable in all the best trendy areas.
Con: They're so sturdy that they're fairly heavy. Not good for use in San Francisco, but definitely healthy transport.
Tip: -- Before deciding what to wear when you ride, check out the New York Times fashion slide show; it demonstrates how All The Best People dress when riding one.


City/hybrid bike

Pro: They're useful; the thick tires make it harder to get a flat when riding over sharp rocks or small seen-at-the-last-minute pieces of glass.
Con: Heavier than a road bike (though not nearly as heavy as a Dutch bike), the extra weight might prove a burden if you have to climb a lot of hills.
Tip: This is probably the best bike to get if you're not sure what kind of riding you're likely to be doing.

Road bike
Pro: Best for use on long bike rides or for serious hills.
Con: Have to watch it if riding this bike on the street. With old-fashioned gratings, the tires can slip in between, thus causing you to come to a nasty sudden stop.
Tip: If planning to do serious hills, make sure the bike comes with a triple chain ring. (Translation, make sure it's got the oomph to get you up the hill. What your legs can't manage, the gears might be able to do.)

Recumbent bike


Pro: People who ride 'bent' bikes think they're the best thing since chopped liver. They're certainly easier on the tush.
Con: I kept tensing up my neck trying to "see" everything from the angle I could when I was on my regular bike. You have to adjust to being so much lower down while riding. Felt kind of like driving a mini cooper and being surrounded by SUVs.
Tip: Supposed to be much better for the back and also hills are supposed to be doable, even if you can't pedal standing up.

Tandem bicycle
Pro: Excellent for the lazy people out there -- if you're the one in back, you can kick back and let the front man do all the work.
Con: If the front man notices, you're in deep trouble.
Tip: These bikes can be detrimental to matrimony. I've seen a lot of husbands and wives who have had trouble synchronizing their movements-- oh clean it up, guys, I'm talking on the bicycle -- no, seriously, stop smirking, I mean riding the bicycle, I mean -- oh the heck with this, let's move on.

Bikes with kids & kids & kids (add on bike)
Pro: In Portland, the Bridge Pedal bike ride brings out whole families. Since not all children can ride a 36 mile bike ride, these bicycles are pretty handy. You get some tired-looking parents by the end of the ride, but at least no one had to stay home.
Con: the kids are behind you, so you can't always see what they're up to and pay attention to the road at the same time. (Still, you'd get that problem with a mini-van as well.)
Tip: If the children can be encouraged to help out with the pedaling, they'll be nice and tired by the end of the ride.

There are also mountain bikes, but they don't belong on a lazy woman's list. Waaay too much exercise involved in those things. For evidence of such, see the video below.

I brazenly stole leveraged this video clip from Half-Fast, who got it from someone else. It's not ever something I would ever dream of doing with a bicycle, but this guy has an amazing sense of balance.




March 24, 2009

Helmets, Head Injuries, and Hotness

All The Cool Kids Are Wearing Them!
(OK, So Maybe Not).

Photo: Shay Haas

With the sad news of Natasha Richardson's recent death on the ski slopes, there is now of course much discussion of the Helmet Issue.

Apparently, the general public has pressing questions: could she have survived if she'd been wearing a helmet? Should all people who go skiing wear helmets? And which famous movie stars are mourning Natasha's tragic death and could we see some pictures of them, please?


So I read a CNN article which discussed the pro's and con's of wearing helmets while skiing or snowboarding. As it happens, I already have an opinion on the advisability of wearing helmets while skiing, bicycling, skateboarding, motorcycle riding, rock-climbing, or doing any other activity in which a smashed skull is a possibility. And while this article didn't change my mind, I did learn some very interesting things from reading it!


1. Ski Helmets Reduce Brain Injuries by 75%! (Or, They Don't Help at All).

It depends on whom you ask. One expert cited an unpublished study that showed ski helmets reduced the risk of brain injury by 75 percent. Other studies showed reductions of 50 percent to 80 percent.

But another expert who works for the NSAA, "a trade group that represents ski resorts as well as ski gear manufacturers," said that despite increases in helmet use, deaths on the slopes have remained fairly constant. He contends that the use of helmets did not reduce fatalities.

So, um, which is it? (I personally find it hard to believe that helmets wouldn't help at all in reducing fatalities).


2. More People are Wearing Helmets Than I Thought.

They're Everywhere!
Photo: drakegoodman


According to the NSAA, 43 percent of U.S. skiers and snowboarders were wearing helmets in 2008, up from 25 percent in 2003. Still less than half, but it's a big jump in five years.


3. Ski Slope Deaths Aren't All That Common.

Consider the source on this one, which is the NSAA again (the Ski Industry trade group). But according to them, in 2006 there were 2.07 skiing/snowboarding deaths for every million participants. This is fewer than for bicycling or swimming. They also note that a person is twice as likely to die from being struck by lightning as to die in a skiing or snowboarding accident.



This lightning thing sounds very impressive! That is, until you think about it a little more. Anyone who goes outside can be hit by lightning; but very few people are out skiing at any given time. It appears from the NSAA site that they're comparing total deaths per year from skiing and lightning strikes--which is sort of like comparing apples and oranges, if apples could ski but oranges kept getting hit by lightning. Or something like that.

Anyway, the bottom line is that skiing is not quite as dangerous as it sounds.


4. Helmets Won't Keep You Alive If You Hit Something Hard at High Speed

The NSAA rep said that helmets are most helpful in preventing lesser head injuries, like scalp lacerations or mild concussions. Recreational ski and snowboard helmets are only designed to provide protection at 14 mph or less, whereas most folks ski or snowboard between 25 and 40 mph. "So when you're going at that speed and you hit a fixed object like a tree, whether you're wearing a helmet isn't going to matter." NSAA guy suggests that skiers try not to act like reckless morons just because they are wearing helmets. (Not an exact quote).

Good advice! But, um, rather than just take for granted that recreational helmets aren't designed to do the job, might it not be a good idea to urge manufacturers to make them stronger? Or perhaps we could get recreational users into whatever fancy-ass expensive ski helmet technology is available for professionals, if that's what it takes to protect heads when people go normal skiing speeds. (Note: I'm not a skier, so I have no idea if such high-end technology even exists. But if I were a skier, I'd sure as hell want a helmet designed to actually protect my head).


This Might Not Do The Trick
Photo: furryscaly


5. Helmet or No Helmet, Some People are Just Dumb

The CNN article included an interview with a college student and first-time snowboarder about his choosing not to wear a helmet. He had already fallen and hit his head several times.

"That fall you witnessed was actually the first time I cracked the back of my head. Usually it's the front," he says. "Do I regret not wearing one? No, not really. It's not too bad and I know what a concussion feels like, so I know I'm good so far."


Crabby's Thoughts on The Wearing of Helmets

While I don't ski, I do ride a bike. The safety issues are similar, but there has been a bit more research on bike helmet safety--which of course is conflicting. But the vast majority of studies seem to say: wear a helmet, doofus, or you may die of a brain injury.

I think it's smart to wear a helmet and not-so-smart to ride around without one.

There is a great deal of variation in helmet usage. It depends on who you are and where you ride. The Bicycle Helmet Safety Institute estimates overall that usage rates are no better than 25%; however, white-collar commuters may reach up to 80%. I know that in our little beach town, where road conditions can be dangerous and hordes of wobbly tourists rent bikes during the summer, probably only 5-10% of riders seem to be wearing helmets.

So why do so many people spurn bike helmets even though they save lives?

Well, duh: helmets aren't Cool. Or at least not until we all decide they are.

Most people don't care about statistics. They know there is a "chance" that something bad could happen, and they know they're a lot less likely to end up brain dead if they have a helmet on. But that "chance" seems small enough to ignore.

Who wants to put an unflattering piece of plastic on their head and smoosh down their hair? Plus, helmets are sometimes uncomfortable. (Not nearly as uncomfortable as head trauma, but that's not something anyone wants to dwell on when going for a pleasant ride to the beach).

For most people, the most important consideration when it comes to helmet usage seems to be: what is "everyone else" doing?

In places like Provincetown, only dorks extremely cautious folks like me wear helmets. And as fetching as I might appear while wearing my helmet, I do not seem to be starting any sort of fashion trend.

(Just pretend there is a picture right here of me looking exceedingly attractive while wearing a bike helmet.)

(OK, pretend a little harder...)

However, if cooler people than me were to start wearing helmets, then maybe we could start a movement! Soon we'd all start feeling more like this:

Photo credit:kwc

And less like this:

Photo: Renon-san

What about you folks, do you wear helmets when skiing, cycling, skating, climbing, or whatever?


March 10, 2009

In the end, comfort rules


Alien life form or bicycle seat? You decide.

If you've ever tried riding a bike as an adult, after years of neglect or as a newbie, you'll quickly notice a fundamental problem in your fundament. In other words, bicycle seats can cause a lot of problems in the end.

Yes, I will stop with the end jokes. Eventually. Well, probably.

As one writer put it, "A seat is a bit like a pair of shoes. The same way you’d buy a certain sneaker for a particular foot and sport, you must purchase a saddle that fits your body and your style of riding."

You can get used to a seat after awhile, but if after a few weeks the agony hasn't abated, it's time to shop.


Some steps to take when you've got Numb Bum (or one you really wish was numb) are:

1 - If you've just bought a new bike, take it back and see if they'll swap the seat for one that fits better.
2 - If you've inherited a bike, first of all make sure it's the right size for you.
3 - If the bike fits apart from the seat, try out new seats. Buy them if you have to. It'll pay in the end. (Told you I wasn't done yet.)
4 - Before trying a new seat, ask yourself one question: am I a man or a woman? (If you have difficulty with this question, then you need to be reading a vastly more serious and responsible self-help blog, and quickly. For transgender situations, go with whether you have an XX or XY chromosomal pair.)


Bad things can happen if the seat doesn't fit right. One researcher claims, "bicycles should come with a warning label, similar to those on cigarette packs, that cycling may cause impotence."



On the positive side, there are lots of different types of seats out there. You can probably find one that will suit your seat. Plus, you won't have to worry about warning labels. (Unless you smoke, but that's the subject for another post.)

Doughnut seat
Well, that's my name for it. This is a type of seat that tries to take the pressure off the tender areas by cutting a hole in the middle of the seat.

My opinion is that this kind of seat is better than a filled-in seat, but if the sitz bones don't align with the seat, you're still going to get painful pressure. Men who lean forward while riding on a seat like this are still going to become numb, just not in the bum.

Jello seat

Again, not what the people who want to sell you one call it. These seats are filled with gel stuff makes the seat softer. You can still get pressure on the tender spots though, if the sitz bones aren't lined up with the sitting part of the seat. The one pictured above does have a cut-out middle section, so I suppose you could call this a jelly doughnut.

Other gel seats just slap gel on top of the original seat. Not sure if I would recommend these. (Though of course some people love them. this is just my take on it.)

Nose-less seat
These seats Just Look Odd to me. Not to disparage them, but I've been conditioned to expect bicycle seats to have a nose.

Supposedly, these seats make it a little more difficult to steer the bicycle. I should imagine that's a matter of becoming accustomed to a slightly different way of riding. So long as the seat is aligned with the sitz bones, there's no worry at all about sensitive areas going numb.

My bike seat has no nose!
Really? Then how does it ... okay, so it sounded funnier when Monty Python did it.


A variation on the noseless seat

The illustrious Dr. Mirkin seems rather taken with The Seat. (Yeah, they put a lot of thought into that name). It's a cross between a pointless seat and a gel seat -- it may not have a nose, but it does have plenty of stuff to cushion the ride.

Some bicycle seats look really, really odd to me -- like the Manta. It might well be comfortable, but it looks like it belongs in a modern art museum.

Other seats are realllllllly stretched out.


Traditionally, bike seats have been modeled after racing bike seats, i.e. long and narrow. Some people believe that a wider seat is more comfortable. The Real seat is extra wide. I thought that this was for people with extra-wide seats of their own, but it has a weight limit of 275.

To me, it doesn't make a difference how wide the seat is -- what matters is how well supported your own personal sitz bones are on a seat.



Another seat -- the bummer* -- you can make on your own. (See? I'm not the only one with a bottom-less fund of bad wordplay)

I'm not sure whom you would sue when it falls on while you're riding it. (At least, it would fall off if I tried to make one.)


If you want to read more information about different types of seats to try, you might want to check out these links below:

Reviews about Bike seats and saddles

The irrefutable Sheldon Brown's take on a comfortable bicycle saddle.

BikeHacks.com's article To banana or not: bicycle seat issues.

Bicycle seats explained (If you're interested in different types of seats, this link has a chart that goes into way more detail about the infinite variety of seats.)

I devoted a whole post to this subject because, frankly, this is a tender issue to me, as the result of tender tissue that really complains if the seat ain't sweet. And bike riding is tremendous fun and a great way to get around while keeping fit, so I want to keep doing it as much as I can. Yes, I'm biased.

Has anyone else experimented with different kind of bicycle seats? Do you have any hard-won words of wisdom to share? Or is this a ... sore subject?

Okay, now I'm done. Enough with the pun. For today.

Alien bike seat courtesy of Kris Cohen.

January 08, 2009

Random Thursday returns, loaded with gossip

Admit it. Sometimes you need a random Cranky Fitness post. Especially when there hasn't been a single random post all year.



Photo credit: Redvers

Especially a post that reveals some really out there interesting gossip about Crabby McSlacker...


Did that get your attention?

News flash: people aren't good at paying attention (Yes, I'm talking to you)

Psychologists are finding out that even when people try to focus on a task they tend to lose concentration within 40 minutes, and sometimes as little as 10 minutes. A psychology professor at the University of Cincinatti, Joel Warm, tracked blood flow in different areas of the brain to determine when people were, or were not, paying attention.

"During various 40-minute tests, researchers saw a decrease in blood-flow velocity over time, and, therefore, a decrease in attention. "Sometimes in the first 10 minutes," Warm says. "That early." And he says many times the participants didn't realize it was happening."

The really scary part? They plan to use this to test people who work in nuclear power plants, to find out when the person monitoring the controls has zoned out while on the job. (Just the thought of a person in that job zoning out scares me. Or a pilot zoning out while flying a plane. Or... okay, you get the idea.) Pay attention!



Another reason to feel paranoid when you're feeling sick


Fatal heart attacks and other heart disease deaths increased during flu epidemics in St. Petersburg, the researchers report. In an article published in the European Heart Journal, if you're over 50, and live in St. Petersburg (Russia, not Florida) and have the flu, you have a higher risk of having a heart attack.

The study stresses that while the flu may make fatal heart attacks or other heart disease deaths more likely, just the fact that you have the flu doesn't seem to actually cause a heart attack. Dr. Mirkin reasons thusly:

"Nobody really knows why, but inflammation is the leading theory on the cause of heart attacks and strokes. Your immunity is good for you because it helps protect you from infections However, if your immunity stays active, it can attack your body to cause inflammation which damages blood vessels and sets you up for clots that cause heart attacks and strokes. "

Moral: if you have heart trouble, get a flu vaccination. Especially if you're over 50 and live in Russia. Well, frankly, even if you live in Florida.

Hey, I had to throw in a scary bit of research to see if you were paying attention

Cyclists are fit to be tied... er, I mean clipped in


People who really get into bicycling tend to use toe clips or clip-in shoes to secure their foot to the pedal. The common wisdom is that this is more efficient that regular pedaling. (You not only push down on the pedal, you also pull up on the upstroke, thus utilizing all the leg motion to keep the bicycle going.) Researchers (not the same ones as the gossip study) at the University of Bath in England showed that cycling efficiency is not altered with and without toe clips (Journal of Sports Sciences, January 2008). Turns out toe clips don't really lower submaximal oxygen consumption (VO2).

On the other hand, riding clipped in does help in other ways. Your foot isn't going to slip off the pedals if you have to speed up or slow down quickly. Personally I don't recommend it if you're the forgetful type. Otherwise, you'll come to a complete stop and only then remember to unclip... while the bicycle is falling sideways onto the pavement... um, not that I'm speaking from experience. Oh my no. Nope, not me. (Thankfully, most bicycles do not come equipped with video cameras, so there's no evidence to suggest I'm being less than candid.)


funny pictures
more animals

Did you know that looking for YouTube clips of bicycles with toe clips brings up Porn videos? I didn't know that until just this moment. Wait... where's everybody going? Geez, now you pay attention?

Turns out it's healthy to read People magazine

Photo credit: Jessica Driver

Professor Manfred Milinksi, working with Drs Ralf Sommerfeld, and Hans-Jurgen Krambeck in the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Biology in Germany, found that gossip is a vector for socially relevant information.

Those who were fascinated by the lives of others were more successful than those who were not, the researchers found. Gossip is "the glue that holds society together." (It can certainly create sticky situations, so I suppose that analogy is accurate.)

The next time you're at the gym and someone stares at you while you're working out, just tell yourself that they're looking for socially relevant information about you to share with others.

The study concludes that if people hear a lot of gossip about someone, they tend to automatically discount what they're hearing. But in small dosages, gossip can (they say) give useful information, such as whether you should avoid a prospective mate because of habitual infidelity.

I don't know. Seems to me if I heard a lot of gossip over and over about someone, I'd be inclined to start thinking about cliches such as 'no smoke without fire' and things like that. The kind of gossip I like is the sort that I used to find in the Weekly World News. Did you know that a scientist has created a death ray for the iPhone? It's amazing what you can learn.

So, did you hear the rumor about Crabby? Well, it turns out it's all true. Yes, she really is the secret love child of Elvis and Princess Diana, but don't tell anyone I told you...

Tomorrow, I promise, there's a real post about fitness and crabbiness and interesting stuff like that. Honest!