Crabby Goes to a Conference and Learns Four Things

By Crabby McSlacker

Crabby and the Lobster have at last arrived in Austin where they are spending the winter. Lots to love about Austin, it's a fitnessy town! And a few things to grouse about as well, but more on all that in a future blog post.

So one of the first things Crabby did in Austin, even before unpacking, was attend the  Prevention's R3 Women's Health Summit.

(And why is Crabby sudden speaking in the third person? She has no idea. Perhaps it has to do with insomnia, a problem she thought she'd seen the end of. Lately it's back with a vengeance. She hasn't had a good night's sleep in five days and it's fucking with her head). But ok, enough. Crabby shall hereby transform from a "she" to an "I." Ready?

So yeah, I'm a little late and sketchy reporting on the conference. I went in on Friday feeling harried and I had to leave before it finished on Saturday, so I missed some of the speakers. But despite my distracted and slipshod mindset, I actually came away with a lot! (Including two tote bags stuffed with swag and the enjoyment of a ton of free food and beverages. And everyone knows that free food and beverages do not contain calories. It's a rule.)

But aside from the cans of tuna and the pound of coffee and the vaginal moisturizer and the hemp bars and soaps and supplements and toothbrushes, what were some of the take-aways?

In the end, comfort rules

Alien life form or bicycle seat? You decide.

If you've ever tried riding a bike as an adult, after years of neglect or as a newbie, you'll quickly notice a fundamental problem in your fundament. In other words, bicycle seats can cause a lot of problems in the end.

Yes, I will stop with the end jokes. Eventually. Well, probably.

As one writer put it, "A seat is a bit like a pair of shoes. The same way you’d buy a certain sneaker for a particular foot and sport, you must purchase a saddle that fits your body and your style of riding."

You can get used to a seat after awhile, but if after a few weeks the agony hasn't abated, it's time to shop.


Some steps to take when you've got Numb Bum (or one you really wish was numb) are:

1 - If you've just bought a new bike, take it back and see if they'll swap the seat for one that fits better.
2 - If you've inherited a bike, first of all make sure it's the right size for you.
3 - If the bike fits apart from the seat, try out new seats. Buy them if you have to. It'll pay in the end. (Told you I wasn't done yet.)
4 - Before trying a new seat, ask yourself one question: am I a man or a woman? (If you have difficulty with this question, then you need to be reading a vastly more serious and responsible self-help blog, and quickly. For transgender situations, go with whether you have an XX or XY chromosomal pair.)


Bad things can happen if the seat doesn't fit right. One researcher claims, "bicycles should come with a warning label, similar to those on cigarette packs, that cycling may cause impotence."

On the positive side, there are lots of different types of seats out there. You can probably find one that will suit your seat. Plus, you won't have to worry about warning labels. (Unless you smoke, but that's the subject for another post.)

Doughnut seat
Well, that's my name for it. This is a type of seat that tries to take the pressure off the tender areas by cutting a hole in the middle of the seat.

My opinion is that this kind of seat is better than a filled-in seat, but if the sitz bones don't align with the seat, you're still going to get painful pressure. Men who lean forward while riding on a seat like this are still going to become numb, just not in the bum.

Jello seat

Again, not what the people who want to sell you one call it. These seats are filled with gel stuff makes the seat softer. You can still get pressure on the tender spots though, if the sitz bones aren't lined up with the sitting part of the seat. The one pictured above does have a cut-out middle section, so I suppose you could call this a jelly doughnut.

Other gel seats just slap gel on top of the original seat. Not sure if I would recommend these. (Though of course some people love them. this is just my take on it.)

Nose-less seat
These seats Just Look Odd to me. Not to disparage them, but I've been conditioned to expect bicycle seats to have a nose.

Supposedly, these seats make it a little more difficult to steer the bicycle. I should imagine that's a matter of becoming accustomed to a slightly different way of riding. So long as the seat is aligned with the sitz bones, there's no worry at all about sensitive areas going numb.

My bike seat has no nose!
Really? Then how does it ... okay, so it sounded funnier when Monty Python did it.

A variation on the noseless seat

The illustrious Dr. Mirkin seems rather taken with The Seat. (Yeah, they put a lot of thought into that name). It's a cross between a pointless seat and a gel seat -- it may not have a nose, but it does have plenty of stuff to cushion the ride.

Some bicycle seats look really, really odd to me -- like the Manta. It might well be comfortable, but it looks like it belongs in a modern art museum.

Other seats are realllllllly stretched out.


Traditionally, bike seats have been modeled after racing bike seats, i.e. long and narrow. Some people believe that a wider seat is more comfortable. The Real seat is extra wide. I thought that this was for people with extra-wide seats of their own, but it has a weight limit of 275.

To me, it doesn't make a difference how wide the seat is -- what matters is how well supported your own personal sitz bones are on a seat.


Another seat -- the bummer* -- you can make on your own. (See? I'm not the only one with a bottom-less fund of bad wordplay)

I'm not sure whom you would sue when it falls on while you're riding it. (At least, it would fall off if I tried to make one.)


If you want to read more information about different types of seats to try, you might want to check out these links below:

Reviews about Bike seats and saddles

The irrefutable Sheldon Brown's take on a comfortable bicycle saddle.

BikeHacks.com's article To banana or not: bicycle seat issues.

Bicycle seats explained (If you're interested in different types of seats, this link has a chart that goes into way more detail about the infinite variety of seats.)

I devoted a whole post to this subject because, frankly, this is a tender issue to me, as the result of tender tissue that really complains if the seat ain't sweet. And bike riding is tremendous fun and a great way to get around while keeping fit, so I want to keep doing it as much as I can. Yes, I'm biased.

Has anyone else experimented with different kind of bicycle seats? Do you have any hard-won words of wisdom to share? Or is this a ... sore subject?

Okay, now I'm done. Enough with the pun. For today.

Alien bike seat courtesy of Kris Cohen.

Who says size doesn't matter?

[By Merry]

Merry gets up on her high horse...

"I rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a bike. It gives her a feeling of self-reliance and independence the moment she takes her seat; and away she goes, the picture of untrammeled womanhood." - Susan B. Anthony 1896

I've been reading a lot about the importance of good running shoes. But I haven't seen anyone writing about the importance of buying the right size bicycle. Just because you're not pounding it into the ground with your feet doesn't mean you shouldn't care. If you're into cycling at all, you're going to be spending a lot more time with your bicycle than you will with your running shoes.

Men and women both have different problems with badly fitted bicycles, but the most common problem for both sexes, among people who only ride occasionally, is the distance from the seat to the pavement. It's almost invariably too low.

Most people who start out riding sit on the bike like they were, to quote one cyclist, 'about to go to the toilet.' Basically people squat on the bike. The feet can reach the ground without having to tilt the bike to one side or another, but it puts more strain on the knees.

Once the training wheels come off, it's time to learn to balance...

There have been a lot of studies about the effect of cycling on men, especially with regards to male fertility. You don't hear much about the effects of cycling on women. If you're a woman you sure feel them, but there aren't a lot of studies out there on the subject.

It's true there's a vas deferens between men and women. (That joke never gets old, at least not to me.) To quote the WOMBATS website (Women's Mountainbike And Tea Society), women often have shorter torsos and longer legs than a man of the same height. Just because you and your boyfriend are the same height doesn't mean you'll be comfortable riding his bicycle.

A few things to bear in mind if you're shopping for a bicycle:

• Women have wider pelvic areas. The "sit" bones on a man are closer together than they are on a woman, but most bicycle seats don't take that into account. So while a man can sit on a bicycle seat and have his weight supported by his skeletal structure, a woman who sits on the same bicycle seat is having a lot of pressure put on a very sensitive area of the anatomy. Ouch. A woman's bicycle seat is generally shorter and a bit wider.
• If you're buying a road bicycle, remember that a man's shoulders are generally wider than a woman's shoulders. If you're on a city bike, a hybrid, mountain bike, any bicycle that has one long handlebar, this isn't an issue. But a woman on a man's sized road bicycle can find herself holding her arms at a wider angle than can be comfortable. This sort of detail can matter after you've been on the road for a couple of hours.
• For both men and women, there are times when it pays to be average, and buying a bicycle is one of them. If you're under 5'4", then there aren't as many choices out there. (I'm sorry, I don't know what the upper range of average is. I've read 5'9" but that seems a bit low.)

If you're short, the best option seems to be a Terry bicycle. (Personally, I found the Terry's gear shifting affected my tendinitis, so I ended up going with a Bianchi Eros. But most bicycle sellers will point you toward a Terry.) Regardless of the brand, any bike seller worth the name will want to work with you to make sure you get the right size.

Obligatory note: I am not a professional cyclist nor do I know anyone who plays one on T.V. I used to hang out with people who thought nothing of cycling several hundred miles a week. (Note: I said 'hang out' not 'ride with'... a more accurate term would be 'ride behind'... far, far behind...)

If I sound preachy it's because I think it's really, really cool to go for a long bicycle ride out in the country where there aren't a lot of cars but there is a lot of nature. You get to see things you never when you're driving a car, plus it's easy on your knees and you can get a workout while sitting down!

I know a lot of people are suffering from BIBD and similar disorders. But it's spring! Any minute now it's going to stop raining and it'll be good riding weather. Any minute now. Anyone up for a bike ride?

I'm ready...

Pole Dancing for Girls: WTF?

So Diet Blog (and probably lots of other fine blogs too) ran a fascinating report recently on a new phenomenon: girls as young as seven taking "pole dancing" classes. (The photo, however, is presumably not of a seven year old unless she is Very Mature for Her Age; it was borrowed from the Pole Dance page of the always informative Wikipedia).

For those who don't watch much TV or frequent strip clubs: pole dancing is what erotic dancers do so they don't have to just walk up on stage, take off their clothes, and stand there naked. In strip clubs, the moves are often quite suggestive--and why wouldn't they be? Men don't go to a strip clubs to sip tea and listen to classical music and discuss existentialism. They go to... appreciate cleverly choreographed dance routines executed by women who happen to be naked.

Now, however, pole dancing has apparently gained popularity among women who are not erotic dancers. Classes are being offered in some of the more adventurous health clubs around the world because lots of female lawyers and cashiers and housewives don't get objectified enough in their daily lives so they secretly yearn to be strippers gymnastic routines performed on a vertical pole can be a great way to build core strength and flexibility.

However, it's not just adult women who are taking these classes; young girls want to join in the fun too.

First off, Crabby feels a bit sleazy herself even writing a post about this--is Pre-Teen Pole Dancing really a "trend" we need to worry about? The story comes all the way from Australia, and there is no evidence that Crunch or Gold's Gym or Curves is out there aggressively leafleting elementary school playgrounds trying to scare up future strippers. Crabby's guess is that a few girls Down Under went to a class or two and a clever reporter sensed the Outrage Potential and ran with it.

But, well, it worked. Crabby saw the headline and felt duly outraged.

Seven year old girls should not be going to classes to learn how to become sexy pretend-strippers.

Even if they're not doing the "adult" moves. Even if the instructors claim that the girls have no way of knowing that "pole dancing" has any other context besides being a wholesome athletic after-school activity.

If they don't know now, they will know soon. How will a little girl who chose Pole Dancing Class instead of Tap Dancing Class feel about her choice in a few years when she finds out what Pole Dancing is really about? Pleased? Embarassed? Neither scenario seems quite desirable. Either she know and its Icky or she doesn't and it's Unfair.

There are a bazillion other athletic activities young girls can engage in to get fit. To send your child to "pole dancing class" and think you can magically erase the context in which this kind of "dancing" came about? This attitude seems naive.

Crabby could go on a whole rant about the sexual objectification of young girls in our culture. (Or of grown women, for that matter. Crabby is still decades behind the times and is uncool enough to wonder where the hell feminism went).

But she'll restrain herself and we'll just stick to Junior Pole Dancing for now.

One of the most interesting things about the Diet Blog post was reading the comments. Crabby thought for sure everyone would agree that this was a Bad Thing, but there were plenty of intelligent comments from those who took a different point of view! They didn't change Crabby's mind, but it made her wonder if she's just being Reflexively Cranky about the issue.

So what do you folks think? Would you send your daughter (or son, for that matter) to Pole Dancing class?

"Grocery Stores Overwhelming to Men"

Oh for Pete's sake.

According to this article, men are big babies who can't handle grocery shopping, and something must be done to make it easier for them.

Mandy Putnam, vice president at a Fancy Consulting firm, complains: "men do represent a large part of grocery shopping dollars and they aren't being very well accommodated."

Boo f*cking hoo.

There were so many annoying things in this article that we could be here all day, but let's start with a health-related aspect because at least in theory, this is a Health and Fitness site.

One of the main stressors for men attempting to navigate the scary aisles of their local grocery stores is this: there are too many choices. They're having melt-downs in the cereal aisle, according to Putnam. Well, it's true: in a big supermarket, there are tons of things you don't want that you have to wade through to find the things you do.

The implication is that to make it easier for men, there should be fewer choices so they won't get confused. Hmm. Well, what would that mean?

It would mean we'd all shop at Very Large Convenience Stores from now on. And we'd get to buy what the Average Consumer wants to purchase. Are Average Consumers healthy eaters? Hell no. Which items would be the first to go to make the shelves less intimidating to men when they're searching for their Doritos? My guess: all the healthier choices that are less popular than the regular versions. Say goodbye to the low salt version, the whole wheat version, the 50% less sugar version, the entire Organic section.

The fact that there are generalizations and stereotypes in the article didn't bother Crabby. It didn't say all men. And she is prepared to believe that, on average, men are less likely to ask for help, less likely to bother to find bargains, less likely to try new things, more likely to abandon the search for an item if they can't find it easily. What bothers Crabby is the implication: that this is the store's problem.

Crabby thinks the real problem is one of entitlement. Grocery shopping, if done carefully, is a pain in the ass. For everyone. But many men (not Crabby's fine male readers, though they are certainly Manly Men) don't think they should have to do it. Not really. It's women's work, even the women who also have full time jobs of their own.

In fact, in pointing out that more men are shopping now, the article noted "71 percent of men said they had shopped in a grocery store in the past three months." Turn that on its head: almost a third of men haven't been in a grocery store in the last three months.

So Crabby will take a deep, calming breath and cease her ranting for now. But she's curious what you all think: do men need special accommodations in grocery stores? Is Crabby just being small minded about this?

Answers to these questions or any other grocery or non-grocery related thoughts are most welcome below.