April 16, 2008
Stay young and win money, bicycles & stuff
I have a confession to make – I buy Lipton brand black tea. On purpose. People make fun of me, because this is not a brand of tea that claims to have been hand-picked by Tibetan monks who’ve intermittently fasted for weeks before the tea harvest. But I’ve been drinking it for years because it helps with my migraines.
Migraines are bad. Trust me. When I get migraines, I develop an extreme sensitivity not just to light but also to smells. Hyper-sensitive to smells. Really, really hyper-sensitive. I can't stand the faintest smells. Migraines have something to do with dilated blood vessels, and black tea helps alleviate that condition. So if I have a migraine, I end up drinking lots of black tea.
When I’m in migraine-mode, I don’t want any damn fancy tea with oil of bergamot or some hint of lavender – that drives me crazy. I can't stand those smells, it’s the nasal equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Nor do I want something that’s so strong it’s going to hurt my stomach (like most of the expensive brands of black tea) or something so weak it’s not going to do any good (like most of the generic brands of black tea). I like the Lipton brand because it delivers tea with a consistent amount of strength and quality, and because it doesn’t have a lot of frou-frou extras. And because I think it helps with the headaches.
So when I was approached to do a contest advocating Lipton white tea, I was all for it. Your mileage may vary, and I suspect Crabby might be humoring me. (I mean, have you read the things Crabby does to her tea?)
What did they do, offer you lots of goodies?
They offered me some free tea, which I’m going to try out. Sadly, no diamonds, rubies, or pearls were included in the offer. On the other hand, white tea (unlike jewels) delivers loads of antioxidants, which are a lot healthier for you if not so sparkly.
You’re just going to become a huckster and pitch products to people? How boring!
No, I’m also going to mention that you can win a free bicycle, money, and stuff.
Oh. Well, that’s okay then.
The Lipton people are very kindly sponsoring a contest. Since Lipton’s White Teas are made from young tea buds, plucked early in their life cycle, they're going for a "Free your Y" contest. It's about freeing your youth and drinking white tea. Look, if you want pertinent details, check out the link: The Free Your Y Video Contest.
I like the idea of drinking white tea, because it's got more antioxidants than Albert Einstein had brain cells (or at least a comparable number), and because I like the idea of being young much better than being old. Or at least the idea of feeling young, i.e. feeling healthy. The idea of freeing my inner youth sounds pretty good to me.
Besides, you’re not old, are you? I don’t care if you’re sitting in a rocking chair waiting for meals-on-wheels to stop by, you’re not old inside, no matter what your body may look like on the outside. The person inside doesn’t age. Why not show the world that you’re not old?
Why the hell drink white tea? What’s the difference?
All true teas are made from the same plant, Camellia sinensis. Black tea is heavily fermented, while green tea is moderately fermented, and white tea lightly fermented. The more fermentation, the more antioxidants are destroyed. (You still get some, just not as many.) White tea has the highest antioxidant levels of any true tea you can find. (I’m not talking about herb teas such as Red, or Rooibush, tea. Including them in this paragraph would make life far too complicated and probably bring on a headache for both of us.)
Wait a minute. Go back to the chance to win money and stuff.
Very simple. All you need to do is:
1 – Think up some way to show you’re young. To quote from the Free Your Y site:
MOVE & GROOVE:
Cut loose. Make it old school, original, or freestyle–whatever moves you. Use any of the music tracks we've supplied here, or your own originals. Please, no copyrighted tunes.
TRICKS AND FEATS:
Show us your skills, like a reverse dunk or a Triple Lindy. Let's see your best trick shot or athletic move.
FREE FOR ALL:
Here's your chance to showcase your unique talent–stupid human tricks, silly songs or watermelon juggling–whatever doesn't fit into the other categories. Anything goes!
2 – Videotape it. Do you have a digital camera or cell phone that tapes very short videos? Or do you have a friend or relative who does? There you go.
3 – Send it in to these people. Why?
• The grand prize winner will receive $25,000
• One second place winner will receive $10,000
• One third place winner will receive $5,000
What the hell, why not?
What about the free bicycle?
Oh, you want more details about the bicycle contest on Cranky Fitness.
Details about the bicycle itself
1 - There's a picture of it shown up top. More information here.
2 - It's free if you win the Cranky Fitness contest.
3 - In addition to the bike, the winner will receive 5 coupons for Free 1.5L of Lipton White Tea and a $75 check for professional assembly of the bike.
Details about the contest
In keeping with the high standards here at Cranky Fitness, we decided you needed to work for this bike. Here's what you have to do:
1 - Figure out what you would recommend people do to stay young and active.
2 - Post your recommendation in the Comments section below. (I was going to say, email it to us, but Crabby has a very hungry spam filter, and this way your comment won't get eaten.)
It’s not enough to merely stay alive. I want quality years! I personally want to die of extreme old age on a yacht, with a champagne glass in my hand and a cabana boy massaging my feet, whilst watching a magnificent sunset -- not counting my wrinkles and thinking of all the things my body used to be able to do once upon a time. Any recommendations you have will help! That way everyone who reads the post will get useful tips on how to stay young and active.
Crabby and I will number the comments in the order received, and pick a number based on a random number generator.
Deadline: winning entry will be picked Friday, April 25.
The Pepsi/Lipton Partnership will provide a check for $75.00 to be used for professional assembly of all Lipton Fuji bicycles awarded. Neither Pepsi Co. nor Unilever is liable for any injuries, damages or accidents that may result from the receipt, assembly or use of this bicycle.