Can you be both fit and fat? An email arrived in my inbox posing that question, and I'm not a total idiot, so I knew the answer.
Of course you can!
And Cranky Fitness readers know this too. Not just hypothetically--many of you have first hand experience. You guys come in all shapes and sizes and are doing all sorts of challenging workouts and activities, and most of you could totally kick my ass were I ever foolish enough to engage in any sort of competitive activity with you.
However, going by the fitness magazines, workout dvds, and other media representations of fitness? You'd think "fit" and "fat" can't inhabit the same universe.
Well, I think that's insanely stupid and untrue. Which is why Cranky Fitness is hosting a workout DVD giveaway from Louise Green's Body Exchange, a Plus Sized fitness and adventure company. This giveaway does NOT require you to live in the U.S., and there are multiple copies available, so given that most people this time of year are off shopping and not blog surfing, your chances of winning are excellent!
A couple of product announcements today, both of them rather cool.
So first we've got a reader giveaway of a 5 DVD martial-arts style workout video from the Les Mills folks called Les Mills COMBAT.
And next up, I thought I'd let you know about a brand new Pinterest style photo-sharing and pinning site aimed at the fitness community called The Fit It
These both look like promising ventures, so wanna find out a bit more and see how you might win the DVD set? This time, Canadians are eligible too!
(And I swear more "real" posts that are not reviews or giveaways are on
the way. I'll spare you the usual 10 paragraphs of apologies and
rationalizations and philosophical thoughts about health blogging and
commercialism).
And the winner of the Gaiam TV subscription plus Yoga mat or other comparable accessory is...
Oh wait! A brief pause first before we get to that for Yet Another Blog Announcement!
A new feature which may or may not be called "Ask the Personal Trainer" is coming up at Cranky Fitness, which will probably run once or twice a month. Since Crabby is decidedly NOT one of these well-informed creatures, she has recruited a panel of 3 actual Personal Trainers to answer your questions. Crabby may also contribute her thoughts, a fake question or two, some whining, a completely irrelevant picture of an adorable animal, and probably some swear words, just on general principle.
I'll wait to introduce them until we get started, but it's a fun, well-informed panel.
So if you've got a question for a Personal Trainer, either leave it in a comment below or email me (email address cleverly concealed on the schmooze page).
And if you're a Personal Trainer yourself, we can always squeeze in more expert opinions, so feel free to inquire and we'll see if it's a good match!
OK, and NOW let's announce the Gaiam giveaway winner, who is.....
So, hi there! I'm finally crawling out of my dark cave-like hole (blinking furiously and weaving a bit), attempting to re-enter the bright light of Real Life again. The first Cranky Fitness eBook has been sent off! It should be coming out sometime in October, unless the publisher takes one look at the first effort and says, "Reeeaaally Crabby? Reeeeallly?" In which case who knows.
But it's been a while since a giveaway, and this one is kinda fun! It's from Gaiam, and they'd like to introduce you to the Gaiam TV channel.
They are kindly supplying a 3 month subscription to their streaming video service as a prize to a random winner, on which you can watch any of nine billion or so exercise videos. (OK, that number may be approximate).
It's not just exercise either: they also cover personal growth and travel and relationships and sustainability and a ton of other topics, in case you'd like help with meditation, metaphysical questions, or have a pressing need to troubleshoot your compost pile. (Seriously, they have that covered).
AND THAT'S NOT ALL! (to quote my favorite line from infomercials). For this giveaway, they're also tossing in a yoga mat or some stretchy bands or other similar accessory from their catalog for a value up to $60.
This is a review. It is only a review. If this had been a giveaway, you would have received instructions on where to go and how to get stuff. Please do not panic. It is only a review.
Well hell -- if there's no giveaway, why should I bother reading?
Because the last time I tried to review a Skinny Bitches DVD, I ended up being catty and snarky and In No Way Nice about it. Who knows, maybe this time I'll be equally catty. There's a reason this place is called "Cranky" Fitness.
Though to be fair, I did try to go into this review with an open mind. I don't particularly enjoy writing bitchy reviews -- at least, not 100% bitchy ones. I usually feel guilty and try to find something positive to say as well. The last time I reviewed a Skinny Bitch exercise DVD, I was really annoyed before I started.
This time, it would be different, I vowed. I would go in with a positive attitude and I would get something out of this workout!
Here at Cranky Fitness, we don't play games like Name That Tune. Instead, we play a game I choose to call Review that DVD. So here goes.
Good. Then you can tell me who won. I got invited onto George Clooney's yacht for an evening of drink, debauchery, and decadence involving chocolate eclairs stuck doing blog work.
Please drop an email to Crabby McSlacker at gmail dot com, with your name and a USian mailing address where you'd like the DVDs to be mailed. We need to hear from you by Wednesday, August 12th.
And when you become rich and famous for your dancing skills, we'd like you to tell the world that all your success and riches were due to reading Cranky Fitness.
I decided to see what all the fuss was about. (You ain't nothin' until you've met the So You Think You Can Dance And Still Be Cool Cranky test.)
Not only did the kind people send me the DVDs to review, they suggested we give away both exercise DVDs. If I liked the DVDs, they said, then why not share them with some deserving & cool Cranky Fitness readers?
Please note that, as advised by the Cranky Fitness Legal Department, we are not recommending this practice unless you're a) rich, b) a celebrity or c) acquainted with a really good lawyer.
So what's an angry person to do?
Punching someone out when you're angry can be really satisfying. Then again, getting sued... not so satisfying. That's why I like kickboxing. I mean, the other person doesn't need to be physically present when you swing the punch or kick at them. You might bruise a knuckle or something. Also, they might hit you back. No, much safer to do it this way. It's the ultimate in Cranky Fitness.
And besides, the other person might not deserve all that anger. They could be innocent. (Yes, you're still pissed off, but do they deserve that?)
Once you've got all the anger out of your system and you're nice and sweaty, you can go egg their house deal with the issue in a calm, sane, adult fashion. (Or else you can call them up and scream at them, but at least you'll have burned some calories first.)
You don't have to be the high-energy lean, lithe, and mean type to get a kick out of kickboxing. It can be fun.
Okay, maybe not this much fun. Stop giggling, dude!
In case you do not have a kickboxing class handy when you've got steam coming out of both ears, I recommend this Kickboxing DVD: Cardio Burn Kickbox.
What struck me about this (newbie-level) video, in addition to the fact that I was able to release a lot of anger by following along, was that the instructor, Patricia Moreno, talked a lot during the workout, but it wasn't annoying. Even when she wasn't cueing you up for the next move, her talk was remarkably helpful. I tend to zone out everyone instructors when they talk on and on, but in this case I found myself jerking back to attention and focusing on what she had to say.
Lots of comments about patience, practice, aiming for precision and power.(Not only does she use alliteration, she uses alliteration that's exactly the mot juste, which is a neat trick while you're dancing around kicking things.)
The DVD has two sessions: one 30 and another 50 minutes long. She throws in some yoga moves at the beginning and end for warm up/cool down. Overall, the DVD is high energy,* but not overwhelming. I liked her energy.
*At least, from the point of view of someone who's a newbie when it comes to kickboxing (though not to being cranky).
Have you tried other kickboxing DVDs that you'd recommend? Or do you prefer sitting on the couch watching Uma Thurman or somebody get angry instead?
Looks pretty, good for your balance, but it's just standing around, right? I mean, I could do that at a mall. (Maybe not some of the poses... they might call Security...)
Why is it considered exercise? I can see that it develops balance and can help with stress reduction. What I can't see is how it qualifies as exercise. I'm not trying to act like I'm wearing the CrankyPants; I just don't get it. In fact, I think this calls for a chart. I figure if yoga's exercise, then it burns a respectable amount of calories. Let's see what the chart has to say about that:
The caloric estimates presume you have an average metabolism, weigh 70 kg (154), and perform the exercise for 30 minutes.
According to the chart, yoga burns only slightly more calories than doing the dishes. To me, that's not a highly aerobic activity. (Plus, you still have a sink full of dirty dishes after you do the yoga.)
To an outsider, yoga looks mysterious and sometimes a little odd.
To someone well-versed in yoga, no doubt this pose makes sense.
Actually, this whole post is the fault of the Fit Bottomed Girls. They did a review of AM/PM Yoga for Beginners that was the most enthusiastic review I've ever read on their site, and I've read a lot of good reviews on their site. They got me curious enough to overcome my innate yogic inertia and check out the DVD myself.
The nice thing about trying something out on a DVD is that no one is going to kick you out of the class because you're such an obvious doofus who doesn't belong. (Actually, I really doubt people would kick you out of a beginner's class for being a beginner, but that's always the traditional long-rooted fear of the clueless newbie.)
I have to confess that I found some of the instructions confusing. "Hug my heels with my elbows... without moving the elbows"?? I'm presuming that this instruction is supposed to create an intuitive reaction, of the mind rather than the body, i.e. I'm supposed to encourage my elbows to feel huggy toward my heels. If it's anything more concrete than that, then I'm totally lost.
Is a plank a pose where I'm supposed to become stiff and rigid? (And apt to become warped if left out in the rain)?
I did feel energetic afterwards, but that might have been due to the 2 cups of coffee I drank beforehand. Note to self: try this pre-caffeine.
Look, I'm not saying yoga is evil. I can see that it would have some stress-relieving benefit, but shouldn't it be classified as therapy or something? Why is it grouped in with exercise classes? Taught at gyms? Dang it, people are even doing yoga at the mall. Why?
Regular followers of Cranky Fitness may have noticed that I don't always practice what I preach.
(Which is kind of pathetic, actually, given that what I preach is already so mellow and slacky compared to most serious health and fitness blogs).
What is the Most Important Exercise Principle I think you should all follow that I rarely do myself?
That you should mix up your routine every now and then, and try new things!
Of course I've blogged about my reluctance to do this before, and will probably blog about it again and again unless I manage to get a personality transplant and change my name Perky McSmirky or something.
But I'm constantly reading about some exercise thing that sounds promising on someone else's blog, and I think, oh I should definitely try that! And then some minor obstacle or just plain laziness intervenes and I end up not following through.
On the rare occasions when I do add something new to my repertoire? It really does help with motivation! A brand new thing to totally suck at also means a brand new thing to get slightly better at the next time, which is oddly encouraging.
So anyway, a few weeks ago I was wondering about exercise DVD's as an alternative to the gym and... boy howdy did I get a lot of great reader suggestions! For those who are looking for a "reader's choice" compilation of DVD's, definitely check out the comments to the Exercise DVD post. Or, if you want to just hang here without going back in time, I'll pass along the short list of Reader Favorites, as well as my find out my Shocking Discovery about Jillian Michael's 30 day shred DVD.
There were lots of cool suggestions, both for exercise DVD's and for other non-gym alternatives. But some names kept coming up over and over!
And The Cranky Fitnesss Readers Choice DVD winners were:
(in no particular order):
P90X; Jillian's 30 Day Shred; Zumba DVD's; Cathe Friedrich; Biggest Loser DVD's; Gilad; Tae-bo; and Turbo Jam.
So With So Many Promising Suggestions, Did I Run Out and Try A Bunch of Them?
Of course not! I kept meaning to. I've got Netflix, and Comcast, and a library, and I knew at least one or two of these titles was probably available for free... but... the right day never seemed to arrive.
Until finally it did! Sort of. I was gonna go for a run but it was pouring outside. I'd just gone to the gym the day before and done my cardio and all my weights. I really just wanted to do some cardio with a few intervals mixed in, so I thought I'd finally see what Comcast had to offer for free on the In Demand channel.
And they had Day 1 of Jillian Michael's 30 day shred! Which sounded really familiar from the great list you all supplied.
[Note: in a bizarre coincidence, I just discovered that Sagan at Living Healthy in the Real World has a post about the same thing! It may have even been the same day... she was gonna go for a run, got rained out, and ended up doing the 30 Day Shred too! But obviously her post is much more inspirational.]
BTW: Jillian, Love Her or Hate Her?
Now I am one of the few people in the fitness blogging world who doesn't really keep tabs on the whole Biggest Loser thing so I don't know all that much about Jillian Michaels. I have to confess I don't much like the premise of the show (and check out Merry's Biggest Loser post for some actual articulate objections), plus I'm not a big fan of reality TV generally.
And in my brief accidental glimpses of the show? It was scary! I didn't like watching Jillian berating and hounding a bunch of poor sweaty obese people who looked like they were just about to burst into tears, or barf, or die of cardiac arrest right on the set.
And so I thought: why the heck does she have to be so mean? Why make exercise even more painful and miserable than it already is? They're trying, for goodness sake. Is there some sort of nationwide shortage of Slack, preventing you from cutting them any at all? So I thought perhaps I didn't like this Jillian person all that much.
But then I heard her on her radio show once sounding kinda fun and charming and not-mean... and a lot of people whose judgment I trust totally like her. So I was a little confused on the whole Jillian question. (And I'd be curious to hear what you all think). Anyway, about trying her video...
First Rule of DVD Watching: Pick One That Has Some Relation to Your Exercise Goals.
If you want to do Yoga, don't roll out your mat and put on a Kickboxing DVD. Duh.
Likewise, if you want to do intervals with no strength training, it's probably best choose a video that has you doing intervals with no strength training.
But I wanted to check out the 30 Day Shred and I wanted to start at the beginning!
The Second Rule of DVD Watching: You Can Actually Do Whatever the Hell You Want, They Can't See You.
So I'm sure this video is great for its intended purpose, but I had to skip all the strengthening stuff. This is because I've read a million times the rule that you're not supposed to strength train the same muscles two days in a row, and I had just lifted a bunch of big-ass weights the day before at the gym. (Big-ass for me, that is). In my mind, this "no back-to-back strength training" rule is sort of like a biblical injunction. (Maybe not quite in the same league as Thou Shall Not Kill but certainly higher than whatever that graven images one is. I've been known to worship images of Cupcakes so I'm sure I've already blown that one many times over).
Anyway, even though Jillian and her pals were using teeny little weights, I felt completely absolved of any portion of the video that called for strength training. Because it's a Rule, damn it!
So I did my intervals (burpees were my chosen instrument of torture) while the girls were doing their weights, then I sort of followed along for bits and pieces of the regular cardio when I wasn't gasping for breath and wanting to die from the burpees. In other words, I didn't really do Day One of the Thirty Day Shred, I just let it keep me company.
Now Here's The Thing I Found Shocking:
Jillian is really fun to work out to! You don't actually have to do what she's doing, you can just let her chit-chat away and provide inspiration as you do whatever the heck is on your agenda for the day.
It's probably better if you actually follow the program, but Jillian didn't seem to mind that I was doing Burpees--in fact, she seemed to know exactly what I was doing and she even hated the Burpees right along with me! She provided a little bit of tough love every now and then, but it wasn't the Scary Tough Love she does with the Losers, it was more a flirty kind of tough love that was pretty darn motivating.
OK, it is possible I have a slight crush.
And there is also a possibility that I might actually check out the next one, and even try to actually do the thing for real!
This is obviously not an Exercise Video Review
Unless you're allowed to do one without actually doing the exercise video. The moral of the story is something like: Mixing it Up, even in a Half-Assed way, is a Good Thing and can lead to Interesting Discoveries!
So does anyone else struggle to add new forms of exercise to your routine? Any thoughts about Jillian or exercise DVD's?
Belly Dancing makes me feel like an atheist in church.
In other words, I don't fit in and I figure if I speak up I might offend somebody. But since this place is called Cranky Fitness, I figure that it's okay to get a little ornery now and then.
Remember when you were a kid and exercise used to be fun? That's how I felt when I tried a belly dance class. I am sure that I looked extremely silly, but it didn't matter. It felt fun. Then the instructor moved away and I tried DVDs instead, and ran into the atheist-in-church phenomenon.
I dislike belly dancing because:
- it's like a country cousin that's gone to the city and had its head turned by the bright lights and glitter. In other words, when you see someone performing belly dance today, it's a faint distant echo of the dance's original roots - people are so damn serious and solemn about it! It's dancing, for Nijinsky's sake. Lighten up a bit. - far too often, the outfits are not really that flattering and get in the way, sometimes literally, of the dancing itself
I like belly dancing because:
- it's a whole lot more fun than situps - it's easy to move when you've got a good drum beat - dancing is fun - it teaches isolation of muscles as well as balance (see the video below)
All right, that's freaky. But it's incredible muscle control, too. And it's the kind of control you can learn through belly dancing.
[Text for the bandwidth-impaired: What Delilah is doing is moving three coins on her stomach. Without using her hands, she moves them one at a time down her abdomen. She tells you which coin she's going to move, and then she uses her stomach muscles to move the coins. Now that's control. (Okay, you could also say that's insane. I think both apply. Fascinating, in a weird way.)]
I love the idea of anything that works the abs without laying down. Especially first thing in the morning, lying down tends to make the body think I'm being really cool and nice and letting it go back to sleep for awhile. It's not inclined to work out in the a.m. anyway, why encourage it to be sloth-like?
Belly dancing also teaches balance
While I'm not a fan of the outfits in general, the hip scarves or coin belts that dancers wear do serve a purpose. Belly dancing deals with isolation of muscle groups. If you're shimmying your shoulders, the hips aren't supposed to follow along. The jingly scarves will tell you if your hips start jiggling along with the upper body when they shouldn't.
When dancers become more adept, they show off how well they've mastered the trick of isolating moving the hips as opposed to the upper body.
[Text: this dancer is swaying her hips while squatting down and then kneeling ... all the while keeping a sword balanced edgewise on top of her head. Other dancers have performed while balancing a tray of glasses, or a lit candelabrum on the head while dancing. That's balance.]
If you want to try belly dance
The best way to learn is of course to find an instructor you like. But if that's not an option, there are a whole lot of DVDs that purport to teach belly dancing. Some are pretty damn silly. There are also a lot of DVDs that use "belly dance" in the title but are actually aerobic videos designed to give you a workout. Nothing wrong with that, so long as you don't expect instruction.
Below are a list of my most and least favorite DVDs out there.
Instructional Belly Dance DVDs
Warning: these videos are designed to teach you how to dance. So there's a lot of learning the movements, practicing them, then doing a bit of choreographed dancing. In other words, don't try these DVDs if you're looking to work up a sweat in 20 minutes. Try the Aerobic DVDs below instead.
For learning to belly dance, I love Delilah's DVDs. (The woman who did the coin trick video.) And I say that in spite of the fact that I find the music annoying, the warm up excessively New Age, and her hairstyle pure 80's. (I can get really persnickety sometimes. Probably because I do these DVDs first thing in the a.m., when I am at my most cranky.) None of those snippy little drawbacks matter a damn compared to the fact that Delilah is good at getting a concept into the brain.
If you want to ease into belly dancing, you might try the "belly dance twins" Neena and Veena's DVDs. They teach authentic belly dance, but they ease you into it gently so if you're not sure what you're doing, you never feel overwhelmed.
Jillina is a good teacher, if you're already a dancer or in good shape. Bit of a steep learning curve if you're not used to dancing or to working out.
Learn to belly dance with Rania. After I started this DVD, I went back and checked to make sure the title really was Learn to belly dance. It feels like a DVD geared toward people who already know how to do it. Get the feeling of being thrown in the deep end and expected to keep up. The pace is too fast if you're a newbie trying to wrap your brain around a concept and persuade your muscles to move in unusual directions. Probably this would work for someone who is already a dancer and who has had some experience with belly dance, and wants to try something different. Would not recommend it to a beginner.
Aerobic Belly Dance DVDs
While I'm not fond of her "Learn to Belly Dance" DVD, I love Rania's personal trainer DVD. (If you haven't tried her earlier aerobics DVDs you'll feel thrown in the deep end when it comes to the cardio portions, at least at first.) What I love is the variety of workouts that are on this DVD. I can look at the menu and decide whether I want a hard workout or a maintenance-level workout, or whether I just want to spend 10 minutes working on my abs. Rania excels at designing a workout that can get my blood pumping in only 10 minutes.
Again, if you're new to belly dancing or not really fit, I would recommend the belly dance twins' aerobic DVDs. Unlike their instructional DVDs, these are not really useful for learning the dance, but they're good for a beginner who wants to do some aerobics. I wouldn't recommend them if you're in good shape, as the routines are repetitive and not that fascinating. Good for getting your breathing rapid, but dull. On the other hand, even if you don't like the workout these women are very good dancers and they include sample dances that are the best I've seen.
Oh dear... I did say I'd include some of my least favorite DVDs... okay, here goes.
The Goddess Workout with Dophina: Bellydance with Veils. The cover and the title kinda tell it all. Do not pick up this DVD unless you have a very strong tolerance for the color pink, and also the ability to listen to a lot of talk about "your inner goddess." Do not expect a great workout. Based on the Amazon reviews, I thought that at least I would be able to give my arms a workout with this DVD. Nnnnnnnope. Though I did admire the way that a fan off-camera blew so that the veil the woman was holding was always artistically draped behind her.
When you see people dressed up in gauze and glitter, it's hard to take this seriously as exercise. All the same, you ever have trouble getting moving, try a drum solo -- the beat bypasses the brain and goes straight to the feet. Need to get your heart rate up? Try doing a shimmy, tiny little controlled movements, for 20 minutes. While your upper body is doing entirely different movements. When you're doing lateral figure 8s with your hips and vertical figure 8s with your ribs, come back to me and tell me how easy this is.
Me? Defensive? Well... maybe a bit.
I'm kind of embarrassed to tell people I do this. Frankly, I think drug trafficking is considered more reputable. Prancing around in a silly skimpy outfit like an outsized reindeer?
The whole point of doing these exercises, it seems to me, is to be able to work your muscles in isolation. I love the idea of having such control over my body that I can control my stomach muscles to the point of moving coins separately down the body. Or of being able to be performing a side to side motion with the upper half of the body while the hips are following the shape of a vertical figure 8 at the same time. Trying to figure these sorts of movements out occupies the mind wonderfully, so that I can get a whole hour's worth of exercise and not spend half my time watching the clock.
Have you ever tried belly dancing? Or some other form of exercise that made people look askance at you? It's okay, you can tell me. Whisper it. I won't tell.
One of the things I love about Cranky Fitness is the clever, insightful, knowledgeable, and frequently hilarious reader comments we get. But it only just occurred to me that I could actually use this wonderful resource to my own selfish advantage! So I thought I'd ask you all for some advice about something since you all are always offering so many good suggestions. Lately I've decided I hate my gym*** and so I'm looking for different ways to get exercise. And while I'm particularly curious about exercise DVDs, I'd love to hear about other non-gym alternatives too.
Except for Running. I love to run, but I have to limit that to once or twice a week because of my crappy knees. So sure, go ahead and tell me how much you love running, and how many bazillion miles you go every day, and how wonderful it is that you can do that and what great shape you are in because of all that #@!%& running.
Cardio Ideas Until Precor Comes Through In particular, I'm looking for suggestions for home cardio workouts that don't require me to purchase an expensive piece of exercise equipment. Rather than buy something, I'm waiting for the day that the Precor elliptical people will email me about one of their latest offerings.
Hi There, Aren't I Adorable? I'm the EFX 5.31 And I Only Cost Four Thousand Dollars.
Yep, very soon, in my inbox will be that message from the generous folks at Precor. They'll say, "guess what, Crabby McSlacker, we follow your blog closely and know that you like to get high using our elliptical machine. And we're sorry to hear you now you hate your stupid gym and aren't getting on our machines often enough! So since you have a blog audience of literally millions dozens, could you please review a Precor EFX 5.31 and say nice things about it? It's the kind without the annoying swinging arms because we know you hate those. Oh and hey, once you're done reviewing it, why don't ya just keep it, we got plenty more of 'em!"
My goodness, that's odd... what was that pig just doing?
Anyway, until the Precor people come through with my spankin' new elliptical trainer, I'm thinking maybe of trying something like an exercise DVD. Because, goodness knows I'm an excellent candidate: with my great sense of rhythm and balance, my open-minded temperament and willingness to try new things, my gracefulness, and my appreciation of random music chosen not by me but by strangers with vastly different musical tastes who are trying to avoid paying expensive royalties to real composers and musicians... gosh this is all going to turn out well, don't you think?
But I do know it's time to try something different! And I have a basement, a TV, and a DVD player. Plus I recently discovered that Netflix and our local library may have videos and dvds for free!
This one, however, is probably not happening. Especially if I'm required to wear an outfit like that.
So, dear readers, I know that not everyone belongs to a gym or goes running every day, yet many of you manage to get your cardio in with a minimum of whining. I'd be particularly interested in recommendations for exercise dvds that have awesome music and fun moves that you actually enjoy. But alternatively, I'm just curious what you do for cardio and how you like it!
***Of course it's totally not fair that I hate my gym, it's a perfectly fine small town gym and lots of nice people go there. But now it's June and it's getting crowded and there are other people hanging out on my machines when I want to use them! And there's nowhere to stretch and all the broken equipment is not getting fixed including my favorite elliptical trainer which has been all rickety and thunky-clunky for months now! Plus, it's always too damn hot in there.
Aside from a personality transplant, any suggestions?
)
