April 01, 2009

Cranky Fitness Buys Google


According to anonymous sources, the Internet giant Google has been bought by the blog Cranky Fitness.

Crabby McSlacker, the CEO of Cranky Fitness, was allegedly quoted as saying, "They were just not appealing to the needs of the average bi-coastal cranky blogger. Not enough cupcake representation, plus there were all those flat stomach links. We felt it was time to put a stop to all that. "

Wall Street is thrilled



The NYSE bounded upwards on hearing the news, seeing this as a sign of an upturn in the economic forecast.



Google's reaction



An unnamed source at Google confessed, "We've been afraid of this for some time. Cranky Fitness has simply gotten too powerful. People are saying this is the first step in their plans for World Domination. On the plus side, the takeover means our cafeteria will feature a much wider selection of cupcakes. And meetings will be much more interesting -- I understand they're going to replace all the conference tables with trampolines."

With suspiciously coincidental timing, the running blog Half-Fast has purportedly announced plans to take over Microsoft. "It's the perfect match," the blogger Vanilla has been reported as saying. "Windows computers are always running Half-Fast."


In related news:

The Great Fitness Experiment explores a new concept: Hedonism!

The mystery of Pasta Queen's headache is finally solved

Cranky Fitness Branches Out!

Google teams up to lead the first human colony to Mars

The Top 100 April Fool Hoaxes


32 comments:

  1. Haha! Love it MerrY! World Domination! I'd love that! On related news of my own...I discovered a new cupcake bakery here in London, which surely would have a huge market in the states: cupcakes in a variety of flavors like blueberry cheesecake, double chocolate, popcorn burst! It's fantastic and it has candy on the top! http://www.candycakes.eu/shop/...scrumptious! Maybe cranky fitness could buy them out!

    Have a good day!
    ~rupal

    ReplyDelete
  2. And now the world is a much better place. Can I have my cupcake now? :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Takeovers are good.
    Okay, popovers are better, but takeovers result in lots of minions. I could use a few minions in my life right now :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Could Google's cafeteria really have ANY MORE FREE FOOD Provided in it???

    Although I think I could eat cupcakes everyday of my life and be completely satisfied.

    Cute Post.

    ReplyDelete
  5. There is DEF. not enough cupcake representation around here! Better get to work on that one, stat;)

    Thanks for the giggle, Merry!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks Merry! That started my day off with a giggle!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Totally forgot what day it was today! lol. Thanks for the reminder...I'll be on my toes for all my goofy coworkers now!
    MMMM...cupcakes.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Too cute. Thanks for the Google giggle. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. LOL!! Now Crabby can stay in California, and won't have to do that crazy cross country drive!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. love it! happy april fools day to you!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. OMG, you totally crack me up. :P

    ReplyDelete
  12. oH MY goOODnEss, BETweeN ThESE neW TRampOLineS AND ThE FOur cuPCAKes I haD IN thE CafETEria THis mORninG i'M BOUncinG OFf the WAllS!

    WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Google beware! When Cranky gets going with cupcakes AND her TRamPOlines there will be no more ceiling on what can be achieved. And thank heavens we finally have a logical explanation for the improvement in Wall Street.

    Thanks Merry :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Free software for you if I can get a job in the Cupcake Research Dept.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Did I hear cupcakes?!?!? ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Cupcakes and minions for all :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Except spammers. Bad spammer, no cupcake.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Congratulations! Good thing I invested in lots of Google stock early on... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hee...this make my favourite saying "all that and a cupcake" mean all that more today.

    Instead of a minion popover could I have a poptart?

    ReplyDelete
  21. This is a much better April Fool's prank than # 2 Son, age 13, getting up on the roof again, and luring his little sister to follow. Guess who gets to rescue her?

    Anyway, thanks for the smiles.

    messymimi

    ReplyDelete
  22. :-) Way too funny! I am a cookie person but those cupcakes a sounding better every mention!

    ReplyDelete
  23. To have the Cranky World Domination rug pulled out from under us? the cruelest April Fool's joke of all!

    ReplyDelete
  24. CUPCAKES!!! yay! And trampolines! Where do I sign up???

    ReplyDelete
  25. gotta love April Fool's, which reminds me, I have not played a joke on anyone yet!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well, this is no joke: I just discovered your blog and love it! I plan to stop by often -- "Cranky Fitness" seems to describe me perfectly!

    ReplyDelete
  27. If only it were true...

    But thanks for the birthday laugh, Merry! (It really is my b-day...no fooling. And I just turned 29 again ;-))

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thank goodness. Now Google will show some class. Microsoft under Vanilla, though...?

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm so happy! Google needed someone to take over and run things the right way!

    ReplyDelete
  30. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting, Cranky Fitness readers are the BEST!

Subscribe to comments via RSS

(Note: Older Comment Threads Are Moderated)