Cruisin'

We always say we're not "Cruise People." We object to their environmental impact. We don't like crowds, long lines, cheesy faux-Broadway musical productions, gluttonous buffets, smoky casinos, or traveling in packs like water buffalo, ruining the ambiance of otherwise charming port destinations.

Yet clearly we must be "Cruise People," because somehow we've been on an embarrassing number of them. We get tempted by bargain prices, by the convenience of packing and unpacking just once, by the notion of not having to shop, cook, or clean anything, and by the efficiency of scouting out multiple destinations we might someday return to at a more leisurely pace.

We know a lot of people who are cruise enthusiasts, who love everything about them, from the fancy formal nights to the lifeboat drills. But we totally sympathize when others who are decidedly not cruise people and have no desire to travel that way.

So why am I posting about cruises all of a sudden?

Why yes, you guessed it! Right now we are aboard a Spain/Portugal/Morocco cruise for our 35th anniversary.

Mystery Trip!

By Crabby McSlacker

So one might wonder: where the hell did the Crab go? She barely got back to blogging before skipping town yet again, not managing even one meager blog post in the last two weeks. And sorry, this is one of those disjointed rambles accompanied by random photos. Longtime readers may recall this is customary after I come back from a trip having left half my brain cells behind.

Anyway, we actually went to a couple of different destinations...

Bali, By Golly!

By Crabby McSlacker

So yeah, we had a great time in Bali, Indonesia.

How about a few self-indulgent details and impressions, accompanied by some unprofessional photography?

Coming right up!

But don't worry, this will be a quicky.  It's been a frantic last few weeks, what with travel and moving and all, and I seem to have lost my ability to string nouns and verbs and adjectives and adverbs together. Said ability was last seen somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, plummeting down towards the sea, and has presumably now been consumed by hungry sharks.  Ah well. I've yammered enough over the years that some succinctness might be in order anyway.

Cranky Fitness Goes to Hong Kong

By Crabby McSlacker

So yep, we're back from our adventures in Hong Kong and Bali! And, as I promised threatened earlier, here's a quick recap--at least of the first part of our trip.

And okay, we've been back a week already. But, in my defense: it's been hella busy in Crabland.

Still bleary from the long-ass flight and 15 hour time difference (which is actually only a 9 hour difference if you just write off a day, but 15 sounds more impressive doesn't it?) we dived right into a crapload of chores. We unpacked, cleared out our San Diego condo and got it ready for rental, repacked, and jumped in our car and drove to Texas.  (Plus we got chased by a few tornadoes the last day, which made it quite exciting for us coastal-dwelling gals. We may yawn during earthquakes or hurricane warnings but are a little leery of the whole twister thing, what with the prospect of flying cows and wicked witches and softball-sized hail and all).

The storms were moving northeast.
That scared-looking little blue dot? That's us.

But anyway, we made it safe and sound to our Frisco Texas stopover and will fly to Provincetown this weekend.  Meantime, now that we are not moving for a few days, here's a bit about our recent travels.

Packing for Healthy Travel Adventures

photo: pixabay

By Crabby McSlacker

So yeah, I'm lucky enough to be married to a globe-trotting corporate go-getter. Since I'm a flexible semi-employed slacker, and an enthusiastic tagalong/leech, I get to travel a lot. Awesome, right?

But for those of us who are somewhat neurotic about health and fitness, travel comes with a few challenges.  In particular, there is often tension between two competing agendas:

On the one hand: life is short!  I want to dive headfirst into all the exciting and delicious and possibly excessive experiences that traveling to a novel destination may provide. Because who knows when I will ever be back? Live for the moment! Savor! Wallow!

On the other hand: I travel too often to go into full WTF mode every time I leave home.

Art: Harold Anderson via James Vaughan

Not only would it be dangerous for my long term health; I can't even enjoy myself if I don't keep to at least a semblance of a healthy routine. Feeling too gluttonous, slothful, and guilty can put a damper on any potential peak life experience.

Plus, even without decadent travel temptations, maintaining some sort of healthy balance requires a fair amount of extra effort on the road. Advance planning has to make up for lack of access to one's usual "go-to" resources.

As it happens, I'm packing up today for another adventure. We leave tomorrow! And as I get ready for our trip, I realize that a huge percentage of the items I'm tossing into the suitcase bear at least some relation to health and fitness.

Wanna see some of the stuff I'm taking along?

Weight Loss Retreat: Do it Yourself!

Guest Post by Jan Bono

So lately Crabby has been paying good money to experience and review healthy resorts like Red Mountain, or alternatively, has been freeloading off of her spouse's employer at places like the JW Marriott Camelback in Scottsdale. Yet at least some readers must be muttering: well sure, sounds great, but WTF? Aren't there any cheaper options for sequestering yourself in an environment custom-designed to encourage healthy eating, vigorous activity, and personal growth?

Well leave it to Cranky Fitness contributor Jan Bono to provide a more creative suggestion! As you may recall, Jan has written “Back from Obesity: My 252-pound Weight-Loss Journey”, and you can learn more about her and her writings if you pop over and scroll down a bit on our Info page.)--Crabby

DIY Weight Loss Retreat

I met regularly with a counselor during the first two years of my 252-pound weight loss journey. After the first year, she suggested I attend an inpatient program. I balked.

Why spend money on a treatment center, then come home to the same old mindset, the same old “let’s celebrate with food” friends, the same old job challenges?

Healthy-ish Travel: Destination, Scottsdale!

By Crabby McSlacker

Yep, Cranky Fitness went out on the road yet again, and there are crappy camera phone photos to prove it!

Besides a very brief account of my wanderings in Scottsdale Arizona, this is also an informal and somewhat ungrateful review of a luxury health resort: the JW Marriott Scottsdale Camelback Inn Resort and Spa .

But before I get into any of that, on a totally unrelated note, check out the Fit Bottomed Girls post on "Morning Routines of Fit Women."

Why?  Well, the FBG's have kindly mistaken me for a Fit Woman! And so the extremely mundane details of my morning routine are included along with more legitimate and ambitious fit gals who are far more interesting.

Anyway.

So yeah, I recently accompanied my go-getter corporate spouse to a business function she was attending at the Marriott Camelback Resort.  And along with my clothing and swimsuit and tablet for the Fire HD 6 Review, I packed my persnickety neurotic personality and my tendency towards weirdo antics and took the whole Cranky show on the road.

So how did it go?

Red Mountain Resort Review

For some people, the perfect vacation is all about pure relaxation and indulgence.  But many of us weirdo fitness types want more than that.

We dream of a vacation that includes healthy food options, new or challenging physical activities to try, a casual, tranquil atmosphere, and perhaps most importantly, scenic outdoor spaces to explore.

Yet perhaps some of us are old or spoiled or cranky and maybe we don't freakin' want to go camping any longer in order to explore the great outdoors?

At least not the kind of camping where you sleep on the hard ground (which inevitably slopes unevenly so you end up in a heap at one end of the tent). I'm middle aged. If I need to pee in the middle of the night, I do not want to have to find my way in the freezing cold by flashlight to some creepy smelly campground restroom that is probably infested with spiders and covered in flesh-eating bacteria and surrounded by hungry bears.

Nah, some of us prefer to have our scenic beauty accompanied by massages and maid service and meals prepared by someone other than ourselves.

So, if you're looking for an active healthy vacation, is Red Mountain Resort in Ivins, Utah, the place to find it? We vacationed there for four days as 2014 brought to a close. Red Mountain is often cited as one of the more budget-friendly resort options. (Not that it fits into every budget of course). Being self-indulgent enough to be captivated by the "resort" idea, but also being cheapskates, we were curious what we'd find there.

Note: I was not comped in any way for this review, damn it, so I have absolutely no incentive whatsoever to be diplomatic about what was wonderful and what was not.

Crabby's Back!

By Crabby McSlacker

So some of you clever readers may be fearing that the title of this post has a double meaning.

Is it called "Crabby's Back" because Crabby is finally back from an Awesome European Adventure and ready to start torturing you all with trip photos?

Or is this going to be another post about "Crabby's back," which was the cause of much cursing, whining and bitter resentment last week when she went into spasms so brutal she couldn't even get herself coffee?

Well, fear not, readers!  My back has gotten SO MUCH BETTER over the last few days that I will have to bore you with the details of that minor miracle in a future post.  Not that I'm 100% yet, but definitely doing better.  Thanks for all the kind wishes in the comments, I think they helped!

Nope, instead, let the torture begin with...

Some Highlights from the Swanky Viking Grand River Cruise + My Solo Stay in A Cheap-Ass Budapest Apartment!