On Being an Outsider

 

This is just a quick post, because we just moved to San Diego, yay! But this means there are a ton of items on our To-Do list. And while it's tempting to quietly shift them to our Let's Pretend We'll Get Right On That list, they are things that actually need to get done. Whereas writing a blog post for a handful of readers with better things to do? That doesn't fit on any sensible list.

Yet somehow here we are.

Anyway, so for a few days my feeds kept adamantly pointing me to an Atlantic article about the upside of not fitting in, explaining all the nifty benefits that come from being an outsider. The underlying article is four years old, so I'm not sure why they were pushing it, other than that they somehow sensed I needed something to blog about.

I actually agreed to the premise, in theory... yet something about it stuck in my craw. I seem to be someone with a very sticky craw, given the number of things that accumulate in there. (Note: I went to double check what a craw was and discovered that all these years I'd had it wrong! It's a pouch in the throat that certain birds use to aid in digestion. I'd somehow always pictured a large Crow clutching something in its Claw.  Crow + Claw = Craw.  It's unsettling to realize one has reached one's sixties with kindergartner's understanding of a common expression for something not sitting quite right).

So what did the article say about the benefits of being an Outsider and what made me grumpy about it?

A Few Reasons You May NOT Want to Move to Spain

Here's the context, in case you accidentally googled your way here: My wife and I spend half the year in Valencia, Spain, and the other half in Provincetown, Massachusetts. (Although that may change soon, which is a whole other story).

So which country will we ultimately end up in?

It's an ongoing debate. Not between us: we're always on the same side. It's just that we constantly change "our" mind, because after so many years together we only have one brain between us.

Given the terrifying future that the US president and his cronies say they have in store for us, we understand there are quite a few others considering their options as well. And Spain comes up a lot.

In the last blog post I shared a few good reasons to move to Spain. And honestly, that was just the beginning of a very long list, which someday I might elaborate on.

But you can't debate Pros and Cons without even looking at the Cons. So here's my very subjective take on a few reasons you might not want to choose Spain as your forever home. 

A Few Really Good Reasons to Move to Spain

So we're back in Valencia Spain again, where we live half the year. Why were these people outside our door yesterday? We don't know, there are too many parades here to keep track of. 

And while we're still on the fence about going full-time, it's hard not to notice that there is a lot to like about living here.

I realize that not everyone is as alarmed as we are about the bizarre and horrifying changes happening in the Good Ol' U.S.A. I'll refrain from any sort of recap, because I don't have the thousand or so hours it would take to even get started. Let's just say the political climate is not to our liking.

I also recognize that we're coming from a place of privilege: there are not a ton of folks who can just pick up and move to new country. If you're just trying to make ends meet, or have overwhelming work and family obligations, it probably sounds like debating whether or not to hop on a rocket ship to the moon.

Of course this post will be followed by Reasons NOT to Move to Spain, because I always have a long list of "cons" for any proposition more complicated than "shall I have another cup of coffee?" But let's start with just a few of the most obvious factors that make Spain an appealing choice when compared with the United States.

The Snowbird Lifestyle: Healthy Anti-Aging Solution or Horrifying Misadventure?

photo: wikimedia

By Crabby McSlacker

So what's a snowbird? (Besides, apparently, a ski resort in Utah?)

I'll offer one definition of a snowbird: a species of silver-crested North American, usually of advancing years, that migrates annually for the winter from colder northern climates to warmer southern ones. Best known for upsetting local ecosystems and annoying year-round inhabitants.

Regular readers may be aware that my wife (aka "The Lobster") and I are a couple of those dreaded snowbirds. Yet: we are not all that old. Nor, we hope, are we all that annoying.

And it's not just us: Snowbirds seem to be getting younger. Maybe it's because more jobs are going virtual and it's not just for retirement anymore? Or it might be because new options that didn't exist 10 or 20 years ago can make it way more affordable and practical than it used to be.

(Note: I'm talking about "snowbirding" because that's what people google the most common sort of seasonal migration. But this applies to other extended getaways too, like fleeing a torrid climate during summers, or spending months abroad every year in a country that's cheap and culturally enriching, or whatever.)

So if you're curious about the Snowbird lifestyle, either because it sounds vaguely appealing, or alternatively, because it sounds so hideously disruptive that reveling in the details will make you smugly grateful that you live only in one place like a normal person--some thoughts below.

Healthy Adventures in... Playa del Carmen

By Crabby McSlacker

So we're back from our trip to Mexico, and to cut to the chase: we had an awesome time!

The "Mayan Coast" is kind of a weird place to spend Thanksgiving though, isn't it? Sun and sand and snorkeling and being far away from family is not exactly the Normal Rockwell version of the holiday.

This is Crabby not even THINKING about stuffing a freakin' turkey.

But we were celebrating our 25th anniversary! We figured this gave us special dispensation to bail on the usual holiday traditions.  (Our 20th anniversary was spent at Beth-Israel Deaconess Hospital in Boston due to complications ensuing from my hysterectomy recovery. This sounded a little more fun.)

Anyway, if you are a normal person, when you travel you just say a cheerful "F--ck it" to the whole healthy lifestyle thing and just have a good time.

But I am NOT a normal person. Plus, we travel a fair amount. So I try to be mindful about food and exercise in a way that keeps me from going totally off the rails, but without becoming so obsessed that I drive everyone around me crazy.

So, what's cool about vacationing in Playa del Carmen? And can you do it in a healthy way?

Take My Picture Here! Things I Love About Traveling Fitter and Smaller

Guest Post by Genie

Yep, travel is a recurring theme here at Cranky Fitness lately! Crabby has been off gallivanting around the globe and has just returned in a predictably comatose state, muttering incoherent curses as she contemplates the ceiling-high pile of stinky laundry and the prospect of imminent cross-county relocation.  But be assured she will be back soon to bore you with tales and photos.  

So here are some more thoughts on travel from one of our favorite guest posters, Genie. (Check out her previous posts here and here and here). Since Crabby has never been heroic enough to shed large numbers of pounds herself, she was quite intrigued about the before-and-after-weight-loss perspective on travel.  So please welcome Genie back again to Cranky Fitness!--Crabby 

We love to travel. It’s sometimes all I can think about. We’ve learned how to travel cheaply while staying safe and having an amazing time. In the past, I’ve been a “trooper” dealing with a lot of difficulties to travel as a really heavy and out of shape woman. The trip to Rome and the surrounding region in 2011 was particularly rough and may have been in the back of my mind when I decided to get healthy. This past holiday we went back to Rome and then on to Bologna to base ourselves in the Emilia Romagna for 17 days. It was glorious. Oh, the art, the architecture, and Yes! The food!!!

Guess Again--Where is Crabby NOW?

By Crabby McSlacker

 (A land of strange flesh-colored tides, apparently.

Or of bloggers too lazy to crop lens/finger convergence problems).

When I tried this last time, some of you guessed I was in Hong Kong in about 30 seconds. You are far more worldly than I am, which is awesome! But what the hell, let's try it again.

First hint: you can tell by the flattering hairstyle and the snorkeling mask imprint on my face in the photo above that I have been submerged in water. So they have that here.

And probably some of you extremely clever folks with knowledge of international airline routes and stopovers have figured out our destination already. But to continue with some more clues...

Coming Attractions

This is just a quick  post,  because:

1. I don’t have internet other than my phone, because ours is broken and Comcast sucks. And I cannot simply blog on my phone until the repair dude comes, because I am old. This means I had to compose this offline and then run to the public library to find links and photos and put the post up. Which is not only a pain in the ass but could land me in jail because I didn't have time to only use kosher properly licensed photos or give proper credit. Plus:
2. I am way lazy.  We’ve already established that.

Basically, this is just to say there’s some Summer Stuff on the horizon  which I’m really looking forward to!  And it may impact the whens, whethers, what’s and whatevers of blogging.

So what’s on tap?

New York State of Mind

By Crabby McSlacker

So I just got back from a few days in New York City, a lucky tag-along on one of the Lobster's business trips.

And, as usual when I travel, I brought my phone and took random crappy pictures with it, lucky readers!

However, you may all be all relieved to know that my cell phone contract is up in a few days, thus enabling the purchase of a new device. We will soon find out if the blurry/cloudy/dim/grainy issues will improve with a technological upgrade, or if a new phone will only confirm that it's the doof behind the camera who needs the upgrade.

Also, sorry, this was going to be our monthly community goal-setting/support/check-in post, but I'm delaying that a few days because we've got a very cool giveaway coming that I want to pair with it, so I'm hoping you guys will stay tuned for that.

Meanwhile, please bear with me as I dump the random contents of my phone and brain collected while I was out roaming around in a New York State of Mind.

Disorderly Conduct: Go For It!

By Crabby McSlacker

image: wikipedia

This is just a quick post about making a public spectacle of yourself.  Being an ass where people can see you? It's a highly underrated weapon for anyone looking to stay fit and sane for the long haul.

Plus, if you hang in there, it's also a totally gratuitous excuse for a picture of attractive butt-naked men! There are more than enough gratuitous pictures of naked women on the net, so I feel it is my civic duty to try to even up the ratio a bit.

When Fitness Doesn't Suck at All

By Crabby McSlacker

This was originally going to be a long rambling photo-filled post about trying (and often failing) to make healthy choices while on vacation.

The short version?

I did pretty well on exercise but I made some pretty egregious choices when it came to food.  I am so not the "role model" kind of health blogger, but you guys already knew that.

Cape Town Capers and Captures

By Crabby McSlacker

Yep, we made it to Cape Town after 30 hours of planes and airports and shuttles and close connections, fought off jet lag (with the help of various caffeinated beverages), and spent a day roaming around with our camera.  So this is yet another Cranky Fitness photo dump that will take a hundred f--king years to load if you don't have a fast internet connection. Sorry!

Oh, and remember how I just did the whole crappy droid test post so I figure out how to blog while traveling without internet? Such a brilliant move considering (a) my phone doesn't work here, and (b) the hotel has wireless so I can use my laptop. (Though when we join up with the Lobster's corporate sponsors in a few days, there is some mention of some sort of sim card thingy, so who knows, hastily blogged crappy camera phone shots may return at some point).

But the no-droid situation was actually an excellent development, because it forced us to drag out the real camera, which we just bought a new lens for, and try to figure out how to work the darn thing.

However, it brings up a difficult question I've been pondering, and the theme for this post since it doesn't seem to have much of one:

How do you capture a sense of a foreign destination without being a total asshole and pointing a camera at the people who live there?

Especially if you are just an annoying tourist and not a real photographer or anything?

Pork Butts and Wise Brains: Healthy Eating on the Road!

Blog regulars (hi, all 3 of you!) are aware that I am just now getting back from a house swap adventure in Toronto. And I've been threatening to do a post this week with a Healthy Eating on the Road theme, featuring a bunch of murky camera-phone pictures from our trip.

Gosh, can you contain your excitement? But then, just when I was hunkering down to slop together a bunch of trip pictures and contemplate the horror that is my email inbox, suddenly a new twist!

(Gratuitous Toronto museum photo.)

Yep, Rick Hanson's Wise Brain Bulletin just came out yesterday!

This is always cause for celebration, because it's a great read, and it's free, and if you haven't done so already you should definitely follow the link and sign up. But it just happens that this WBB is special... because it starts off with an ebook excerpt written by a foul-mouthed Wellness Coach and Health Blogger we happen to know.

So, I'd like to say a special hello to any Wise Brains who recklessly clicked on a link and found themselves at the weirdness that is Cranky Fitness! Where exclamation points are apparently on sale or something!

(And hey, speaking of Rick Hanson and wise things generally: Rick's new book, Hardwiring Happiness, is coming out soon and it looks like it's going to be great.  Plus he's got another free online interview series with even more experts talking about this stuff. More on that below).

Anyway, on realizing there could be a curious new visitor or two to the blog, my first instinct was to scuttle the lazy vacation post and put up something clever and practical and scholarly instead.

But then it occurred to me I'd have to write something clever and practical and scholarly.

Whoops.

So, welcome, wise-brained people, to the Healthy Eating Post-Toronto Cameraphone Photo Dump!

World Class Fitness Destination: Toronto!

So sure, this is not a comprehensive list of all the exercise and activity options while visiting Toronto. For example: the whole question of winter. I have no idea what the hell Canadians do about that. Does shivering count as cardio?

In fact, this is just a crapload of inexpertly taken camera-phone photos as we continued to enjoy our Toronto house-swap adventure. But I did at least have fitness in mind as I snapped a few of them. And I've organized them by Healthy Activity Theme. So potential Toronto visitors who are concerned about over-consumption of tempting treats like poutine and canine testicles may find some reassurance that you can make up for dietary sins with lots of exercise.

So, ready for our Toronto tour?

Keeping Fit On the Road (Or Not): Crappy Travel Pictures Part I

Gosh, isn't it wonderful when a health blogger hits the road, and instead of sharing useful information they just slop a bunch of cameraphone pics into a blog post?

Um, well, ok, it's not wonderful, but that's what we got today. No one visits the blog over the weekend anyway, and there's a great guest post coming up next week.

Some of the photos do actually have something to do with health and fitness. But many are just gratuitous selfies and wifeys or are fascinating-to-no-one-but-me aspects of our campervan travel routine. Pretty much all of them highlight the fact I can't focus (literally or figuratively) to save my life.

So, care to join Crabby and The Lobster on Week One of our August Adventure?

Cheers!

Just beefin' up our Vitamin B consumption!

Ask The Personal Trainer: Hotel Room Workout

So in this next installment of "Ask the Personal Trainer," we take on the following question:

Do you have any recommendations for a portable 10-30 minute workout that could be done in a hotel room or other not-well-equipped space? Something that either just uses body weight or something that might be handy or wouldn't be too difficult or expensive to bring along?

So let's see what we got!

Comin' Home

Yep, this is exactly what Crabby looks like creating culinary magic in her kitchen!

What does it mean to be "home?"  And what the heck does that question have to do with health and fitness?

Oh, and speaking of home, we've also got a bit of blog "housekeeping" to catch up on, like announcing giveaway winners and other stuff.

Best Budget Vacation: Hawaii for Fitness Freaks

Yep, it's pretty there!

So sure, the title of this post is just the usual pathetic scrambling around for googleable catch-phrases, as this is really just a recap of a recent Hawaii trip with beloved spouse and mother-in-law.

But please don't wander away just yet!  Because there are indeed 5 handy tips for health and fitness enthusiasts looking for a cheap Hawaii vacation. Plus, bonus: view an unflattering picture of Crabby lounging stark naked in a hot tub! And gosh, with that inducement, how can you resist accompanying us on our Affordable Hawaiian Holiday?

Top Five Budget Hawaii Fitness Vacation Tips

1. Sponge Off The Rich People

While we stayed in an extremely affordable condo, we happened to be within reasonable walking and driving distance from a number of Big-Ass Fancy Resorts. The resorts were sitting right on lovely beaches, many of which were accessible to low lives like us the general public if you knew where to park.

If there's anything better than whiling away a few hours at a tropical beach practicing your surfing, swimming, snorkeling, barefoot running, or napping skills--it's knowing that most of the other folks nearby were willing to fork over huge buckets of money in order to plop their affluent asses on the very same stretch of sand.  

Not Ejected Yet!

There were no riff-raff detectors in the resort's restrooms, bars, lobby, lounges, landscaped grounds, or hiking paths. So by forgoing the 10,000 threadcount Egyptian cotton sheets or whatever the hell the resorts are luring people in with these days, we got the same awesome pampered feeling. For free!


And not only that, the resort we were closest to had a great fitness center that cost only $15 bucks a day if you bought a shareable package of 10 visits. (And yes, I am neurotic and somewhat exercise-addicted. But $75 for 5 visits was way cheaper than the expensive therapy I'd need to treat my problem. Plus, I figure it's a public service!  A good workout in the morning makes me far less of a pain in the ass for the world to deal with).

But here's the very best part: besides a good selection of cardio and strength equipment and fitness classes, the fitness center day pass included FREE ACCESS TO THE LOVELY SPA!!

It was the kind of upscale place where everything smells good and they give you robes and slippers and big fluffy towels, and you can help yourself to free fruit and tea, enjoy the outdoor lava hot tub or the sauna or the steam room and scare other people away by giggling inappropriately. Even just taking a leisurely shower with pleasantly scented shampoos and soaps was heavenly.  And again, you can luxuriate in the fact that other people are booking hundreds of dollars in spa services to support the whole enterprise while you rub your own darn feet!

Rectangular red swimsuit tops will be all the rage soon, I swear.

Note: if you're curious enough to inquire in the comments, and plan to vacation on the Big Island, I'll pop down and let you know which particular fancy resort spa deal I'm talking about.

2. Create Your Own Excursions

Hiking down to Waipio Valley with the adventurous Lobster: Free!

(And no extra charge for the blisters. That's one steep-ass hike.)

There are great swimming and sightseeing and hiking opportunities on all the islands, and if you've already rented a vehicle (or in some cases, a bike) there's almost too much to enjoy for free.

Try some new fitness activity, or at least try something familiar in a totally new environment. Hiking up a steep mountain, swimming in an ocean, or biking through a lava field are very different experiences than the treadmill, lap pool, or spin class.   And sure, if you're coming for the 19th time, then go ahead and spring for tours and rides and various expensive excursions, some of which are probably wonderful.  But if you want to pare down costs, investing in a guide book (or checking one out at the library, or using the web) will help you discover all kinds of options to keep you and your family active and entertained without having to sell one of the kids into slavery.  (Well, unless it's a particularly obnoxious kid, in which case a cool helicopter ride to peek at rivers of molten lava might be kinda tempting.)


3. Hit the Grocery Store and Eat Out Strategically

Picnic!

Yes, many areas in Hawaii actually have real live grocery stores, and even natural food specialty places selling all kinds of healthy consumables at a small fraction the price you'd pay at a restaurant or snack bar for junky guilt-inducing meals. Setting is everything, and if you can bring some of your own healthy meals to a scenic location, you can have the twice the relaxing atmosphere of a swanky restaurant for a lot less money. If you don't have a place with a kitchen, a big cheap styrofoam cooler might be a very worthwhile investment.

But, hell, you're on vacation! Who wants to spend the whole time shopping and cooking and doing dishes or obsessing over whether the bell peppers in your salad are organic?

So don't be a total tightwad/healthfreak/martyr and prepare every meal yourself with only the purest ingredients.  Have fun too!

 

Mai Tai's have fruit in 'em... gotta be full of antioxidants!

4. Screw the Souvenirs

So what's up with the idea that you need more than a few photos, a sunburn, and a slightly used cocktail umbrella to remember your awesome vacation?  Do you really need matching Muu-Muus and Aloha shirts for the whole family? And will you come to regret the anatomically correct tiki wood carving of the naked male deity once he's back from his native island and sitting in your living room strutting his stuff?

You may want to skip the shopping, or, if you find something  truly unique and special, make sure it's fairly priced and something you could still appreciate without having swilled a few exotic libations first.

5. Marry Someone With a Crapload of Frequent Flyer Miles.

If this seems impractical for whatever odd reason (perhaps your current spouse is not 100% on board with the plan?) then I believe there are ways to secure good deals on flights.  This probably involves either clever advance planning or the ability to drop everything and wing off on a moment's notice. But what the heck do I know? If you googled into a blog called Cranky Fitness expecting to get the latest hot tip on airline deals I am terribly, terribly sorry to disappoint you. But just think how how those people googling "big bouncy breasts" feel when they get to an old post on sports bras?  It could be way worse.


So How Did Crabby Do On Her Plan Not to F--- Up Her Vacation By Excessive Worrying?

Pretty darn awesome!  Well, aside from a minor tantrum or two over not having internet access.  The inspiring scenery and warm breezes, plus the foresight to pack some meditation tapes and a whole new slew of self-improvement books, seemed to have had a salutary effect.

Next self-development task for Crabby: to deal with an overflowing inbox, laundry basket, and other daunting re-entry tasks without letting real life totally harsh the Hawaiian mellow.


How about you folks, any tips on saving money on vacations? Or staying fit while traveling? Or handling vacation re-entry? Or heck, just let me know what I missed while I was gone!

The post without a title

[By Merry]

So close to Friday.
Almost there.
Must... hang... on...

Hang on a minute. What kind of post is this? Where are the chipper puns? The quirky health studies? The fun Fail photos? It doesn't even have a proper title! Bring Crabby back! We want a real post!

The headache is taking up most of the front part of the brain, where all the serious thinking is usually done, so my mind is in trivia mode.

I know gas is expensive


... but this is ridiculous
(I don't know if you can see, but the horse is on a treadmill, which powers the vehicle. Literally horsepower.)

Winner of the Addictive Game award of the week:

Bubbleshooter.
Damn that game. Be warned that this game is highly addictive and very frustrating. Also, if you go to that site, please do something about the spelling and grammar. Please.

More ways to help the world while feeding your trivia addiction:

Free Kibble
Kind of like Free Rice except you only answer one question a day. Every time you answer a question, more dog kibble is donated to animal shelters. There's also its feline equivalent, Free KibbleKat.

Cartoon of the week:



And, of course, the cat video of the week:


Okay, I can't take the guilt. Here's productive, useful information:

I'm being a headache-addled wimp and shirking my duties as a dutiful blogger. Crabby will be sad. I can't be having that. So here. I put together a long list of useful and helpful blogs, where people talk about how to be more organized and productive and all that good stuff. (When I say "put together", I am of course referring to the fact that I personally went to that blog and copied the URL myself so that I could link to it here. That's pretty strenuous activity right now.)

Have a great almost-Friday!

A Special Book Review

[Posted by Crabby]For those of you who are not regulars here, "The Lobster" is my long-suffering life partner. (And soon-to-be spouse, once we figure out which state we reside in). So why is The Lobster reviewing a book, especially one that has pretty much nothing to do with health and fitness?

Well, recently Cranky Fitness was offered a review copy of something called "Dream Destinations." Intrigued by the prospect of a book of pretty pictures, but feeling lazy about actually writing a review, I was just about to delete the email when... a Sneaky Thought occurred to me. Was there a way to get all the pretty pictures and plant Future Vacation Ideas without having to do any actual work? "Hey honey," I said, in an innocent tone of voice...
And Voila, a free book arrived!



So now here is a review of...

Dream Destinations

By The Lobster

Occasionally, Crabby gets new products to review. In the past, she’s received stuff like flavored teas and energy bars. Given my love of "free stuff," I find this grass roots marketing kind of cool.

When the folks at LIFE books contacted her asking if she’d like to review their new book "LIFE’s Dream Destinations: 100 of the World’s Best Vacations" she immediately turned to me. You see, anything to do with geography is, well, not exactly her core competency. We’ve done a great deal of traveling in our almost 18 years together, lately concentrating on driving destinations in our trusty camper van. Crabby’s interest in maps is generally focused on font size, ie, is the font size big enough to indicate a town that has a) a gym and b) an Asian-fusion restaurant? I cannot tell you how many times she has been disappointed on both fronts, especially in the vast middle section of the country.

So with my new assignment, I settled into a comfy chair to read "Dream Destinations." The pictures are predictably fabulous, given that’s what the good folks at LIFE do best. I was completely prepared to make fun of their list, ready for $5000 a night lodges in the Masai Mara or destinations that require some combination of plane and yak to reach them. And, there were a few examples of that, including listing London as a family destination ("honey would you like dessert or to go to college?") and touting a romantic getaway at the Kennedy Cottages, where Jack and Jackie honeymooned near Santa Barbara, for a mere $2995 per night. However, much of their list was affordable and accessible. Or at least it was before gas was over $4 a gallon and airlines started charging by the pound.

Here are my observations:

Some of our very favorite places on earth made the list, which added immense credibility to the book. (Yes, we are extraordinarily fortunate). They are totally right about:

• Cinque Terre, a series of 5 gorgeous towns on the northern coast of Italy;
• Peggy’s Cove in Nova Scotia (in fact that whole dang province);
• Banff and Lake Louise in the Canadian Rockies;
• Napa Valley (of course, we’re from Northern California);
• The Yucatan Peninsula;
• The Snowdonia area of Wales, including the town of Betws-y-Coed (which, of course, to us became Betsy the Coed.)

I have a new list of places on my MUST SEE list including:

• The Glastonbury Festival, held in a small town in Somerset, England rumored to be the burial site of the Holy Grail that also hosts a Woodstock-like festival. I love the combo.
• The Tongariro Northern Circuit in New Zealand, home to a world class trek that ends at the Grand Chateau, a hotel that pampers the tired and weary.
• Wildflower Hall, a luxury hotel and spa in the Kunlun Mountains of east-central Asia, a stunning place at 8,350 feet which is neither affordable nor accessible but will stay on the lottery list.
• Lake Wanaka, back in New Zealand, surrounded by snow covered mountains, vineyards and, yes, sheep.

There are, unfortunately, some "oh puleeaase" moments. Are these really "Dream Destinations?"

• Wisconsin Dells: The canyon and rivers were nice but Wisconsin Dells is right up there with Pigeon Forge, Tennessee as the pinnacle of tackiness. In the Dells, you can’t find the river for the putt-putt golf and other money sucking adventures. (However, if you are looking for pancakes in either place, you have hit the motherlode).
• Montana Dude Ranch... in winter: Illustrated by a picture of unhappy campers huddled around a campfire, obviously freezing their butts off. I love the outdoors but Dude, those people looked miserable.
• Mount Vernon: Just a question... why does George and Martha’s bed looked slept in?
• Lost Atlantis: There are enough nut-balls wandering around looking for it, do we need to encourage more of them?

The final verdict on the book? I enjoyed re-living some of our great vacations and seeing amazing shots of places I’m pretty sure I’ll never see. And, given the price of travel these days, the $29.95 price is a pretty good short term escape seeing how you’d only get about 7 gallons of gas and are probably unlikely to see anything as cool within 140 miles of your house.

Now the Crab will pop back in to ask: Does anyone have "dream destinations" that you'd love to visit some day? What would be on your short list?