May 13, 2007

Mother's Day at Cranky Fitness

Many of us learned our healthiest habits from the original Health Expert--Mom. Some of us had to re-learn these lessons later, after a period of Adolescent Rebellion or "Adventures in College Dormitory Living"--but it would have been much much harder to start from scratch.

Here are a few random lessons Crabby's mother taught her as a tiny Crablet, and for these she is very grateful:

1. Don't eat your entire bag of Halloween candy in one sitting. (This useful lesson in moderation also applies to packages of Oreo cookies, Pepperoni Pizzas, Quarts of Ben & Jerry's, and bottles of Chardonnay).

2. Don't stay up past your bedtime or you'll feel Extra Crabby the next day.

3. Unfamiliar vegetables taste weird the first time you try them, but you have to eat them anyway because with persistence you may grow to like them.

4. Potato chips and Coke and a package of twinkies in the afternoon will indeed spoil your dinner.

5. Leave your scabs alone--if you keep picking at them, you'll just make them bleed.

6. Smoking is actually very bad for you.

7. Don't hitchhike or get into cars with strange men.

8. If a toy (or Exercise Gadget) is advertised only on TV, it is probably junk. If it were really any good, why wouldn't they sell it in the regular stores?

9. Wear your seatbelt every single time you get in a car and one day you'll be really glad you did.

10. It's not good to mope around indoors all day. Go outside and play!

This is only a partial list, there are doubtless many more Smart Health-Related Things Crabby learned from her mother.

Is there anything you learned (or didn't, or did and wish you hadn't) about Health from your Mother?


  1. Mother Crab was a wise woman - she raised you well.

    Another gem that I was taught - never wear holey underwear, incase you're in an accident!

  2. Well, of COURSE you shouldn't eat your entire bag of Halloween candy at once.

    You have to leave the icky stuff for when you get desperate.

    This has been an AW test-post by the anonymous Sailor Kenshin. :p

  3. How come nobody ever worried about strange women picking up us men?

  4. Dawn--oh yeah, I forgot that one! And not just for the list--as I've aged, I've gotten somewhat less likely to buy replacement undergarments promptly when they start getting ragged. Perhaps I should remember those emergency room underwear-critiquers that we were all put in fear of as children.

    And hey sailor! (That sounds kinda racy, doesn't it.) Thanks for stopping by. I attempted to comment on your blog too, though Livejournal and blogger don't seem to encourage easy fraternization. Guess we're supposed to stick to our own "kind."

    And hiya Travis! (I had a cat named Travis once. Are you by any chance orange?)

    Gosh, I have no idea why children aren't warned just as often to stay away from strange women. A mystery, huh?

    Enjoyed your airplane story, btw. Thanks for dropping by.

  5. Thanks for stopping by the incredible shrinking ladies blog

    LOL I love you blog and your sense of humor. I like to invite to gueset writers over on my other blog The Diet Pulpit. If you are interested let me know. (read about it here:

  6. Hi Lady Rose,
    Thanks so much for visiting!

    I'll definitely have to check out the guest-blogging thing. Looks like you folks have put some serious thought into setting it up and have come up with a great way to organize it. Thanks for the invitation--I'd really like to do it. I'll put something together soon.

  7. "How come nobody ever worried about strange women picking up us men?"

    Not to be a downer, but you do have to be as careful with strange women.
    They could be used as bait to trick children (and even adults!) into getting into a car/van/what-have-you. And women have been known to kidnap children from time to time.

    I used to tell the kids that adults never ask children for help, so don't trust them if they try to get you to "come with them to look for their lost puppy."

    And adults, you can always call for help for that stranded stranger on the lonely road without getting out of your car. If you don't have a cell phone, drive to a gas station for them.

  8. Hi anony miss!

    Actually, that's a really good point. Even if percentage-wise, Evil Dangerous Men still outnumber Evil Dangerous Women by quite a ott, there are Evil Dangerous Women lurking out there too. Best to warn kids of both. thanks for the visit!


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