Secret to Success Revealed!

[By Crabby]

[Photo credit: Plan 59]

Here at Cranky Fitness, we're all about revealing those Secret Sneaky Tricks that successful folks use to achieve their goals. True, after a big fat buildup, these "secrets" and "tricks" always turn out to be the same old boring stuff you've heard a thousand times before--but by the time you realize that, you're already halfway down the page!

(And lets face it: it's harder to get people to read blog posts called "Yep, It's That Same Old Self-Help Crap You Know Already.")

So what's today's Magical Solution to your health and fitness and life struggles?

(Is it a pill? Please? A nice cheap pill I can order online?)

Sorry, no.

It's just this simple advice:

Think About The Consequences of Your Actions and Make Conscious Choices About What You Do.

Isn't that a great idea? Can you imagine how much more successful you'd be if you did that?

Gosh, thanks Crabby. I'll keep that in mind.

Yeah, it is kinda obvious. Even if few people actually do it. Perhaps we need a catchier name?

How else can we turn the obvious into a series of self-help books and lucrative seminars? (Hmm, seminars--in Hawaii, say? Or the Caribbean...? Right on the ocean, with a four-star restaurant and a luxury spa and snorkeling and stuff? )



Sorry, what was I saying?

A catchier name, right!

So our new Miracle Fitness Solution? Let's call it:

ChooseCarefully!©

(Uh oh, maybe we didn't choose too carefully ourselves. Apparently someone has already copyrighted this name. But it's just some "legal services" company. Screw them. What are they going to do, sue us?)

So why do you need to ChooseCarefully?©

Because most dumb decisions happen when we pretend we aren't actually "making" decisions at all. We just do stuff or we don't do stuff--and then we pretend that if we don't think about consequences, there are none.

People who are successful at losing weight or writing books or climbing the corporate ladder or running marathons? They recognize that the decisions they make everyday are important, so they make them consciously.

So how to stop floating around and start deciding? Here are some tips to on how to ChooseCarefully©:

1. Create Opportunities To Make the Right Decision

This is a hard habit to learn, but is worth training yourself to do it. Buy yourself time before giving in to temptation.

Get in the habit of waiting, even if it's only a minute or two, between a tentative impulse to give in, and actually doing something there's a good chance you'll regret.

So if a simple "no I don't need that brownie," isn't working, then tell yourself: "Well, maybe I do need it, but not yet. First I'll go get a drink of water, and then check my email, and then maybe stretch my hamstrings, and then I'll decide if I really want it I can have it. At least some of the time, you may actually change your mind and talk yourself back out of it.

Note: If it's a Big Decision, like whether to have plastic surgery, or buy an expensive sports car, or marry some guy who's really sweet, deep down, just misunderstood so he acts crazy sometimes, then you may need to buy yourself more than a few minutes.

Mom, I swear You'll Learn to Like Him!

2. Visualize Consequences.

This another obvious but effective trick when you remember to do it. Tempted to skip your workout? Don't just ask yourself "do I want to go to the gym now?" Because of course the answer is "hell no!"

Instead, ask: do I want to try to fit in an extra workout later in the week? Will I feel like it more then? How do I feel after a few missed workouts? Do I really want to lose momentum and feel guilty and like crap? How virtuous will I feel afterwards if I just suck it up and exercise?

When considering a big-ass bowl of super-premium ice cream, do you ask whether it's worth an extra five to ten miles on the treadmill in addition to what you normally do? If you eat it, will you feel satisfied or will you still want another bowl of ice cream when the first bowl is gone?

Successful people ask themselves questions like this all the time. (They don't always get the answer right, because imperfection is inevitable and even necessary. The trick is to never stop asking).

3. Little Decisions Add Up

Merry had a great post about this, but it bears repeating.

Suppose you have a very cherished but challenging goal, like saving money for a house. You may realize, theoretically, that it's going to take a lot of effort, but do you make all the small decisions you need to in order to get there?

Because you'll never get there if you forget the house whenever you're faced with an amazing expensive pair of shoes or an evening at a Chi-Chi bar where cocktails are $15.

Too many people won't acknowledge that life is about Trade-Offs. You don't get to have everything. Pretending this isn't true can mean losing your house or your education or your financial security to a steady supply of designer clothes and Starbucks Frappucinos.

4. Not to Decide is to Decide

If you often think wistfully, "I'd love to take a karate class someday" or "I bet I'd be good at selling real estate" or "I'm lonely and could use more friends and there's this knitting class that meets on Thursdays" but instead of doing anything you sit and watch television every night instead?

Well, guess what: you are deciding that you'd rather watch tv than learn karate or get a real estate license or have friends.

These sort of decisions don't feel like decisions, though--partly because if we really put any thought into it, we'd never make them. Would we really squander our precious time on earth doing things like checking our blog stats every ten minutes or watching four consecutive hours of Law and Order reruns?

(And Jen at Semicharmed Wife had a great example of making this process conscious in her blog. "I know I said I’d work on my short story today," she wrote, "but I feel like I deserve to read gossip blogs for an hour instead of working on my life’s dream.")

5. Still Making Dumb Decisions? Shrink Yourself!

No, not physically. Psychologically. Better yet, if you can afford an actual shrink, go see one. They get paid to do this because some of them are actually good at it.

Because if you're making a lot of bad decisions, maybe it's not just a question of willpower. You may have one conscious agenda ("to eat healthier and get in shape!") and a whole different unconscious one ("to never, ever feel deprived," "to distract myself from my feelings," "to stay invisible" or whatever).

Here's where it's helpful to look at patterns. In what situations do your actions typically contradict your intentions? Do you always overeat after a visit with your mother? Do you overspend when you're angry? You may be telling yourself all kinds of silly things to encourage these self-defeating behaviors, and it's helpful to learn how to tune into these conversations. Once you can hear what you're telling yourself, you can start questioning some of the idiotic things you carry around in your head-- so you can ChooseCarefully© instead!

So this is just the first five of a list that's probably at least 100 items long. But, well, this post has run long enough and Cranky Fitness isn't going anywhere. We can talk about the other 95 later on... perhaps someday at a sunny self-help seminar at a fancy resort!

Plus, many of you Smart Readers have much better suggestions about how to make conscious choices about important things rather than flailing around. So if you do, please share!

Why Can't You Stick to Your Plan?

The Enemy is Sneakier Than You Think
(Photo courtesy of Plan 59)

[By Crabby]

This is another one of those posts in which Crabby offers unsolicited advice and reminds you about things you already know. Warning: Prolonged exposure could cause drowsiness, irritability or upset stomach.)


It Happens to Everyone

If you've set a major goal for yourself--like trying to eat healthier, lose weight, get out of debt, run a marathon, organize your life, finish your novel or whatever--you will likely have some rules or plans or at least hopes to guide your behavior.

Some days, you will be full of determination and you will do all the right things.

Other days, you will ignore your rules and do whatever the hell you feel like doing. This will make you feel like crap.

In previous advice posts, we discussed how screwing up is a necessary part of the self-improvement process; how to stay accountable, and how to re-motivate when you're stuck.

But this post is more about exploring why you screwed up in the first place, and how to keep it from happening so often.


Meet Your Enemy: Entitlement.

There are lots of other enemies to staying on track--like stress, fatigue, depression, crazy schedules, and even a low sense of self-efficacy.

We can talk about those later. Today we take on Entitlement, because it's at the root of so many screw-ups and it's so sneaky.

Quick example of entitlement in action:

You've been eating really healthy all week and you've decided you get to have a piece of cake at a birthday lunch. But by the time dessert is served, you're totally full. Plus the cake is a kind you don't even really like.

So you eat a monstrously big piece anyway, and don't even enjoy it.

Q: Why the hell did you do something so dumb?
A: Because you had already decided "I get a piece of cake today," and you felt entitled to eat it.


Entitlement Has its Place:

Let's say your neighbor borrows your car one afternoon but instead of returning it, he parks it in his own driveway with no apparent intent to return it. Do you say, "whatever," and go out and buy a new car? Or do you go over and take it back because it's your f*cking car?

My guess is we come equipped with a sense of entitlement for a reason. We need it, sometimes. But it's one of those archaic emotions (like jealousy or anger) that doesn't necessarily align with reality. A sense of entitlement is often self-serving, illogical, and just plain wrong.

(In a larger context, I believe our exaggerated sense of self-entitlement is a huge problem in the world. We shall, however, leave that discussion for another time.)


How Do You Confront Your Entitlement When it's Being Stupid?

It depends on the specific reason you're feeling entitled. For example:


1. Everyone Else Gets to Do It

This one is really easy to indulge in. We look around us to see what's "normal." Why should you have to go to the gym and eat cauliflower soup when everyone else is watching tv and eating McDonalds? Your neighbors maxed out their credit cards to buy a huge expensive high-def TV, why shouldn't you get to have one too?

If you can recognize what's going on, the best way to fight this is to recognize that the "normal" world is populated by space aliens. Those around you are an entirely different, substandard, sedentary species with strange eating and spending habits and short life spans. You don't "get" to do what they do anymore than you "get" to drink water out of the toilet or poop on the sidewalk just because your dog does.

Instead, start to normalize and identify with those who, like you, have sensible goals. Go to their blogs or read their books or find actual like-minded humans to hang out with. The more you expose yourself to them, the less you will feel that the habits of space aliens are relevant to your life.


2. I Used to Be Able to Do That

Losing something is much harder than never having had it in the first place. Whether it was the discretionary bonus your company used to pay every Christmas or the secret parking spot only you knew about--once you got used to having it, it felt like yours.

And if you always used to eat a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's or sleep in until 11 on Sunday mornings, there may be a part of you that feels that you should always be entitled to do those things, no matter what your actual plans and rules are.

How to fight this?

First remind yourself that you are now a different and superior human being. You are giving up the "right" to indulge yourself for all kinds of great new benefits. And then just suck it up and change your habits for a while.

The good news: after a few months it will be much easier. The sense of entitlement around your old lifestyle will start to fade. The "old you" will become more like the space aliens above, and will be easier to ignore. You may still miss the old ways sometimes, but you don't still feel entitled to Trick or Treat on Halloween anymore, do you?


3. I work so hard!

Yes, of course you do! You're putting in long hours at the office and getting your exercise and making time for your spouse and raising wonderful kids and so that pint of Ben and Jerry's calling to you from the freezer? Aren't you entitled to it?

Well, sure, every now and then. Some days something's got to give.

But if you're consistently impressing your boss but eating like crap, or eating all clean food but spending yourself into lifelong debt, or running that marathon but neglecting your family--you're going to run into trouble.

Unfortunately, sacrifice in one area of your life won't translate to progress in another.

You can't transfer your "entitlement" credit from one area where you excel--say your job-- and use it in another area where you suck--say your health.

How to deal with the "I work so hard" sense of entitlement? You have to Re-Prioritize.

That means stop earning all this "extra credit" where you're already doing enough. Stop responding to fake emergencies; learn to say "no" to stuff you don't have time for; stop caring so much what other people think and start figuring out what's important to you. Then you might not feel so martyred and entitled in areas of your life that you actually need to buckle down and pay attention to.

(Note: All this is way easier said than done, as we've discussed before).


4. Because I Earned It

Remember the cake example above? Sometimes you feel entitled because, by your own rules, you have actually have "earned" a treat or a break or a reward.

And if you really want the treat or the break or whatever, go for it! Rewards can be really helpful in maintaining long term efforts.

But what if you don't even really want your treat now, and are only cashing in because its yours and you earned it?

The trick here is to realize you're being a big baby. You're letting "Mommy" (your Rules) dispense treats when you are Mature and Sensible enough to do it on your own. Tell yourself that you "owe yourself one," which you will enjoy MUCH more if you wait. You don't need Mommy to tell you what to do. Except later, when you want ice cream and Mommy is telling you to eat your vegetables. Then you gotta listen to her again.

Is it just me, or does anyone else struggle with entitlement? Any good advice?

Someone you REALLY want to keep happy

[By Merry]

There is someone you really want to keep happy.

No, not your significant other. Not your mother, either.

The scenario: You want someone to do something for you.

Do you:
a) Ask them nicely and thank them afterwards?
b) Use guilt, insults, and contempt to pressure them into doing what you want?

Counting hands Wow. That's a lot of people who went straight for the second option. Let me re-phrase the scenario. You want something done and you need to make sure the person you're asking the favor of will still be on good terms with you later. The person you're asking the favor of is someone you really, really don't want to abandon you. In fact, the person you're asking the favor of is the person you see when you look in the mirror.

So many approaches to fitness focus on denying yourself – 'you can't have that brownie, it's bad for you' or 'you will run that last mile, you need to do it, push yourself.' What if you tried the opposite approach and treated your body with some appreciation? It feels really good to do something to pamper yourself. Make the body feel appreciated instead of punished.

I know, the first impulse at this point would be to reach for the fudge ice cream, or glass of red wine, the cigarette or whatever else provides immediate gratification to the taste buds. But feeding a junk craving rarely benefits the body. I would suggest that the junk/comfort foods are largely created by forces outside of yourself – what your parents gave you to eat, what advertisers pushed on you, things like that. Once you satisfy the craving, your body often feels worse. And – come on, admit it. If you try a health-food diet for a few months, your body does feel better.

So, instead of gratifying your cravings, do something nice for your body. For example, I just bought 3 new sweaters, the clingy kind that has angora woven in and feels incredibly soft and warm to wear.

The irrefutable logic behind this purchase:

Irrefutable Statement #1 - Wearing something nice makes you feel good.
Irrefutable Statement #2 - Feeling good makes you appreciate your body.
Irrefutable Statement #3 - Appreciating the body you walk around in leads to wanting to do good things for your body. You reach for the peach instead of the peach schnapps, because it makes you feel good about yourself to treat your body well.

So what the hell. Take an hour or two to get a massage, soak in a hot tub, buy that soft, angora sweater. Do something fun. Do something nice today for somebody you really want to be happy for a long time to come.

Ah Ha--Just What I Thought!

[By Crabby]

So apparently some Australian researchers took a look at how people search the web for health information. And guess what they found?

People pretty much just pay attention to stuff that confirms what they already believe.

As one of the researchers said: "Even if people read the right material, they are stubborn to changing their views. This means that providing people with the right information on its own may not be enough."

Gosh, what a surprise.

I recognize this "I'm going to believe what I want to believe" tendency in myself, obviously. But I do at least know it's a fault, not a virtue. As much as I spout off my opinions, I am at least kind of aware they're opinions, and I try to take other points of view into consideration. Sometimes, I even change my mind!

So this study got me to thinking about the idea psychological maturity. Because I think the ability to get past your own biases and take in new information has something to do with that. So we'll leave the dull topic of "health information on the web" far behind as I go out on a limb and invent my own Simplistic Psychological Dichotomy!

Unfortunately, personality traits do not come in convenient black and white categories. But it's much more fun to pretend they do instead of dealing with a big messy continuum. So for the sake of discussion, we're going to divide the world up into two kinds of people: the Screaming Baby-Heads, and Wishy-Washy Grown-Ups.

Who are the Screaming Baby-Heads? Well, their whole lives are like the Australian study. They only take in information they want to take in. They just haven't achieved the ego-strength to separate their own desires, biases, emotions, and fantasies from reality. A "reality" apart from their own self-interest is too threatening and just not very much fun, so it can't exist.

The Wishy-Washy Grown-Ups, while not immune from Baby-Headedness in certain circumstances, have at least learned that they filter "reality" through their own perception. These people acknowledge, at least in theory, that they are not always right about everything. They know that even if they really want something to be true, sometimes it isn't. When evidence changes or new perspectives emerge, they may even (gasp) change their minds. These people are not, obviously, allowed to head up corporations or run our governments or even be listened to much anymore because they "flip-flop" and they're not decisive, strong, and steadfast like people who never question themselves. They're boring when they speak because they're always saying things like "possibly" and "I could be wrong" and "on the other hand."

I have a strong suspicion that most regular readers of Cranky Fitness spend the majority of their time being Wishy Washy Grown Ups, which is why I love you all. Even a brief perusal of the comments section reveals curiosity, open-mindedness, respect for others' points of view, and self-deprecating humor, all, in my opinion, hallmarks of emotionally mature adults. So what if that attitude may not get you elected or chosen to star in any reality tv shows? I still say, hooray for WWGU's!

(And actually, not all Screaming Baby-Heads are obnoxious over-confident assholes. There are different kinds of baby-headedness. Some SBH's can freely admit to mistakes, and can actually be really nice to people with whom they don't agree. But, like the obnoxious variety, these babyheads are incapable of believing that their own emotions and desires are not reality. These people fall for the same sociopathic boyfriends over and over, max out their credit cards for luxuries and expect no consequences, and keep believing those ads for miracle diets that will allow them to lose 50 lbs a month while eating all they want.)

So, assuming most of you are WWGU's and know all about the joys and disappointments of boring every-day fact-based reality, here's a brief guide to the life on the other side.

What's good about being a Screaming Baby-Head? Plenty! Check it out:

• Life is simple.
• All the people you like are good people.
• Coincidentally, all the people you don't like are bad people.
• You are the center of the universe.
• Your religion is 100% right and everyone else is screwed, but that's okay because they must deserve it for some reason.
• Your chances of buying a winning lotto ticket are much higher than anyone else's.
• Even though bad things may happen, they will probably go away soon and are never your fault.
• If you are angry at someone, they must have done something very bad to make you angry. Conveniently enough, your emotions are always a perfect mirror of reality. This means you never need to apologize for anything!
  
• If you are attracted to someone, it's because they're perfect.
• If you are no longer attracted to someone who seemed perfect, this is because they are evil and they tricked you. This makes it easy to move on with no regrets.
• Whatever you desire, you deserve.
  
• You don't have to worry about how your actions affect others, because you never do anything wrong.
• Tomorrow is always going to be way better than today, because you're special!
• Because TV networks, box-office hits, and political campaigns are totally tapped into the SBH market, there's always something good to watch and someone great to vote for!
  

Pretty nice, huh? If you're a Wishy-Washy Grown Up grappling with a subtle, complicated, conflicted reality, being a Screaming Baby-Head can start to look pretty darn attractive.

So what's bad about being a Screaming Baby-Head?

• Oddly enough, considering you're such a special person, you don't catch as many breaks as other people. For example, you may get fired for no reason at all!
• Again, strangely, since you're incredibly likable, many people are not nice to you and even people who don't deserve you as a friend don't even try very hard to get to know you.
• People who start off "good people" can instantly turn evil.
  
• Most mystifying of all: so many things keep turning out differently than they should! Where is that happy marriage, that fit healthy body, that rewarding career, that fortune in the bank you deserve? What the hell is up with that?

Someone is obviously responsible for the frustrations of the SBH's. Obviously, it's not their fault... must be some Evil Conspiracy by a bunch of those Wishy-Washy Grown Ups?

Of course I have plenty of babyheadedness of my own to deal with, as I assume we all do... but do any of you know any real Babyheads out there? Or is the whole notion sort of, well, Babyheaded?

Take My Advice--I'm Not Using It

So the title of this post was once a refrigerator magnet or a bumper sticker or something, one that was meant to be funny. But, well, it's true, right? It's so much easier to give advice than to take it. We see other people doing stupid things to mess up their lives, and we feel almost a physical urge to slap them upside the head and tell them that they should be doing smart things instead.

Then at the same time, we go around doing the same kind of stupid-ass things ourselves, just a slightly different version.

When you're young people give you lots of advice, most of which you ignore. And then you get older and you wish you'd paid attention to at least a little of it. So then you see a young person about to make the same mistakes you did and you naturally want to scream: STOP THAT! YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO F*CKING SORRY LATER, I SWEAR!

But either you hold your tongue, or you tell them what they should do and they just ignore you. Sort of like you did when you were young and people tried to warn you about things.

And as we grow up into adulthood and middle age and old age, we keep doing things that later we may regret. You know that saying about youth being wasted on the young? Well maybe all the life stages are wasted on those who are living them, because we get too caught up in what's happening in our daily lives to make smart decisions about the Big Things. Or even the little things. What are we all doing now that we'll regret twenty years down the road?

If someone actually told us now, would we pay any attention?

So here's a chance for any Cranky Fitness readers, of whatever age, to pass along Unsolicited Life Advice to others. (Note: you don't have to actually follow your own advice yourself. That's way harder.)

And Life Advice can be about Big Things or Little Things. Because the Little Things are important too! Remember the "sunscreen graduation speech" that was widely circulated a decade ago? (It was written by Mary Schmich, but falsely attributed to Kurt Vonnegut at the time). Well, part of the reason it was so popular, aside from the attribution error, was that it contained Smaller Truths as well as the Bigger ones. (And because one of the huge regrets many of us have as we age is, actually, that we didn't wear enough damn sunscreen.)

Anyway, this is one of those posts that will happen mostly in the Comments section, because readers always have the best advice! (And it would be particularly useful if people had advice for middle-aged and older people as well as youngsters, because some of us are actually not so young anymore. We need age-appropriate advice that we can ignore too. So, youngsters, don't feel shy about telling us old farts what we should do, since we're always handing out plenty advice down your direction).

Anyway, here are a few initial random pieces of unsolicited advice. And lets hope it gets better than this when you folks weigh in!

1. Ignore almost everything you learned as an adolescent. Adolescence is not like the rest of life--just grit your teeth and get through it and try not to let it permanently damage your self-esteem. Adolescent popularity often seems to involve: obsessing over your appearance; having the "right" clothes or gear; conforming to what everyone else around you is doing; disdaining anyone in authority or anyone below you on the social ladder; and taking lots of reckless chances just for the hell of it.

This is not, strangely enough, the best formula for happiness later in life.

And sure, there are few lucky folks who succeed at being popular and successful both as teenagers and as grown ups--but often there is almost an inverse relationship between teenage happiness and any other kind.

2. Don't slouch. Even if you are embarrassed by your height, your boobs, your lack of boobs, or whatever--you will regret your lousy posture later. There will come a time when you don't even have the option to pull your shoulders back anymore or stand up straight if you don't get in the habit when you're younger.

3. Don't smoke cigarettes.

4. Don't marry or have kids young. Unless you are (a) incredibly lucky or (b) unusually wise beyond your years. This is because there is almost no correlation between what makes someone seem incredibly attractive to the average, say, 19-year-old, and what makes a person a caring, reliable, loving partner worthy of a lifetime commitment.

Play the field first, however you might define "play." Learn whether you are naturally attracted to people who are good to you. If not, teach yourself to find good people attractive before you commit yourself (and possibly your children) to someone who isn't kind or stable. It's not fair to your kids, or yourself, to marry an abusive or neglectful or just-plain-crazy person in order to fulfill some kind of romantic fantasy. The stakes are way too high.

5. Don't fear exercise--get used to it early and it becomes like brushing your teeth--something you may not always feel like but that is so ingrained you feel sort of ashamed and dirty if you don't get around to it.

6. Start saving money and earning interest on it as soon as you are able. If you are five years old and your mommy is reading this blog to you right now and the tooth fairy just left you a dollar? Then make mommy give you change for that dollar and put a quarter of it right in the bank. Seriously, that whole compounded-interest thing is totally amazing. If you save a big chunk of those tooth fairy quarters and babysitting dollars and foregone Starbucks lattes and first paychecks and holiday bonuses and let it all earn interest for a few decades? Voila: financial security. (Or at least a lot less debt!).

7. Hang on to memories too, not just money. Keep those old pictures of yourself, your family, your friends, your exes--even some of the unflattering or painful ones. As time goes on you really will forget what you looked like, what you wore, who you hung out with, where you went and, well, who the hell you were. Later, you will be curious.

8. Put more effort into being kind and pleasant to your loved ones than you do your boss or your clients or your co-workers. Not that you should be rude to or abrupt with anyone. But too many people seem to feel that their own partners or family members don't merit the same patience and courtesy they extend in "social" situations to colleagues or even total strangers. This is backwards, really common, and kinda screwed up when you think about it.

9. If you have safely reached middle age with some cherished long-term friendships intact, and you find yourself telling a funny story: realize that you already told these people this story. Yes, you have, even if you don't remember that you did. If it is indeed funny and it happened more than 24 hours ago--yep, they've heard it. The reason they are smiling and laughing and asking questions is because they like you, and because they're really nice people. So go ahead and tell it again and enjoy the warmth that their laughter brings--but make sure to appreciate those people who make your old stories feel new each time.

10. Notice at least a few things you feel grateful for every single day. This is one of those hokey, saccharine, syrupy, trite, sometimes tiresome bits of advice that is nonetheless incredibly powerful if you follow it. Life is not predictable and it certainly isn't fair--but the part we can control is how we feel about it.

So folks, please don't be shy with your words of wisdom--some of us could really use a few hints!

Yoga and Wine: Together at Last?

Cranky Fitness has been alerted to a surprising new development: did you know you could combine yoga practice with wine tasting? Crabby sure didn't!

The New York Times was on it many months ago (registration might be required), but Crabby missed the boat and needed a nudge from the helpful vital juice folks, who emailed to let her know about it. Apparently there is not just one venue, but several, that offer both activities together.

On hearing this, Crabby was at first confused. How can you sip wine if you're standing on your head? Or what if you're bent over at the waist, or crouched on all fours, or flat on your back? Crabby is capable of dribbling wine down her front when seated upright at a table in a nice restaurant. How on earth could people do their tastings during yoga class?

But then Crabby realized: Oh. Probably they both don't mean at the exact same time. Probably they mean do the yoga first--then taste the wine.

Got it now! You go on a retreat or to a workshop that features both yoga and wine tasting, but not simultaneously.

Still. Do they belong together?

Crabby has lots of opinions. Problem is, her opinions totally contradict each other. Perhaps she needs to do a sun salutation or pour herself a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and meditate further on what it all means. Or, better yet, she may have to ask her Smart Readers what to think.

So please help Crabby sort this out. Here were some of her first impressions:

1. Smart marketing! Lots of people like both wine and yoga, and many of these folks have $$$ to spend on retreats.

2. How crass! Yoga isn't just an exercise, it's part of a spiritual practice. What's next--Yoga retreats combined with tummy tucks? Or with seminars on "How to Profit from Real Estate Foreclosure Sales?"

3. But most people don't do yoga as a religion. They do it for exercise. Why should they have to get all picky about what they combine it with?

4. So what if "most people" only dabble? You shouldn't subvert the deeper nature of the practice by treating it as some consumer product to exploit.

5. "Deeper nature?" What do you know about the "deeper nature" of yoga? You've never even been to a yoga class!

6. Well, I saw a video once. Some nice pony-tailed man with a cute British accent kept talking about his "sit bone." Anyway, it still seems kind of cynical. I bet most real yoga people would object.

7. So they can stay home! Think about it--gentle stretching and mellow people and wine? What's not to like?

8. Hmm. Would there be, like, a really nice restaurant? And a spa with deep tissue massage?

9. Sure!

10. What was the question again?

Please help the bewildered Crab.

Yoga + Wine Tasting. Yes? No? Maybe?

Crabby Doesn't Meme To Offend Anyone!

For those of you who don't have blogs, this post may not make any sense at all. Don't worry! There will be another amusing guest post coming soon, and you can always check out the archives or visit one of the great blogs on the Random Rotating Blogroll. But for today--sorry, it's Memes.

So a "Meme" has been defined as "a theoretical unit of cultural information." But for blog purposes, it's just a game, and it works sort of like a chain letter. Someone 'tags' you and you're supposed to write a post about the meme, and then link to other blogs to keep it going.

Crabby tried to do memes for a while. (She even tried to invent her own but failed to get it off the ground). But now she doesn't do them any more.

There are lots of reasons for that, but they're boring so she won't go into them. But once she started saying "no" to very nice people who asked, she wanted to be consistent about it. It wouldn't be fair to say yes to some and no to others.

However, this inflexibility has its downside! A very cool (and very popular) Personal Development Blog has a meme going. Somehow Cranky Fitness got included, even though Crabby's advice on the subject of Personal Development is sometimes so silly one might think her inclusion on the list was meant ironically. Anyway, now she's getting all kinds of meme-related links! Her Technorati rating is being puffed up nicely (though it will crash dramatically again when these links drop off).

She's feeling terribly guilty about this. She has not included the big list of several hundred Personal Development blogs here at Cranky Fitness--yet she's getting all the benefits as if she had played along.

So: apologies to all the Well-Developed Persons who have linked to her!

The least she can do is direct you back to the source. Go to Priscilla Palmer's site, and check out some of the great personal development blogs listed therein. (In return, Crabby promises you she will never mention the word "meme'" here ever again. Or at least not until the next time she needs to apologize for not doing them).

So bloggers, do you do memes on your blogs? And non-blogging readers, have you encountered these things on your favorite blogs and if you have, how do you feel about them. Interesting? Confusing? Do tell!