Fat is Not Fair

[by Crabby]


It is not a scientific secret that genetics play a role in weight gain and obesity.

People have different metabolisms. There are people who eat tons of food and never exercise, yet they are skinny. There are other people who eat healthy foods in reasonable portions, exercise for hours, and will still probably always be "overweight."

Yet because so much hard work and sacrifice is involved in weight loss, there is a tendency among people who are successful to act as though everyone gets the exact same deal. "I gave up my hot fudge sundaes and started running, and look at me! If you're still overweight, it's because you must be eating crap and sitting on your ass all day."

Well, some of you know from experience that it's just not true.

And sure, plenty of people are overweight because they eat way too much and exercise too little. But there are also plenty of others who get a raw deal in the genetic lottery--maybe growing up, you did the same stuff everyone around you was doing, but instead of getting heavy, you got obese. Or maybe you've struggled your whole life to keep from being obese, going to great lengths to be merely overweight. Or perhaps you've swung back and forth, losing and gaining, messing with your already unfriendly metabolism and through the best of intentions making things worse.

It's not fair.

What's It Like To Have the Deck Stacked Against You?

Are you one of those unlucky people? I'm not myself, but I believe that among readers of health and weight loss blogs, there are quite a few. People who are motivated enough to visit blogs and even start their own, and research all the right things to do and try and try and try... but still find the pounds fall off very, very slowly. And sometimes not at all.

I read what some of you folks are eating and what you're doing for exercise, and Holey Moley! It's a lot more demanding than what I have to do to maintain my weight. I would get so exhausted by the daily battle of "bad cookie/good carrot/how many steps on the pedometer today" that I think I'd want to pull my hair out.

I have a pretty "normal" metabolism. If I start eating like an average American and exercising like an average American, even for a few months, I gain weight. I would be overweight now if I hadn't woken up (twice) and reformed my ways when I started to get too self-indulgent. But, unlike some of you, if I eat 90% healthy, count calories for a while, and get a bunch of exercise, I can lose the weight again fairly easily and keep it off.

It makes me wonder what my attitudes would be like if I weren't so lucky. What if I were suddenly "blessed" with a hundred or so extra pounds and a stubborn metabolism? How would I handle it?

The Optimistic Scenario



Here's what I hope I would do:

1. Learn how to reject all the appearance-related garbage we're exposed to daily. I hope I'd learn to love my large thighs and unshedable belly fat even while being constantly told my every magazine, billboard, tv show and casual conversation that I should hate everything about myself.

2. Concentrate more on health goals--getting stronger, fueling my body with nutritious healthy food, building endurance, doing enough cardio to reduce my risk for heart disease and cancer and diabetes, etc. Define progress according to these goals, not a number on the scale.

3. Try to be grateful for all the other ways in which I was still lucky, by looking beyond my immediate situation. I hope I'd remind myself that I could be living in a poverty-stricken nation; I could be in the midst of a war; I could be maimed or disfigured or dying of a painful disease or the victim of any number of unjust fates.

4. Surround myself with supportive, non-judgmental, healthy friends who would understand me and encourage my efforts to be strong and healthy and happy.

5. Seek balance in life and see myself as a whole person with many talents and goals, and not just as number on a scale or a clothing size.

But honestly? I am not a particularly evolved, mature, self-confident person.

The Darker Scenario:




Here is how I fear I might deal with the situation instead:

1. Learn to hate my body, and by extension, myself.

2. Get so focused on calories and portion sizes and "good" and "bad" foods that I'd no longer be able to enjoy eating as a simple pleasurable activity. And with food and exercise so emotionally charged, I fear I'd veer between frantic determination to lose weight versus giving up entirely and bingeing.

3. Become more self-absorbed (if possible) and depressed.

4. Withdraw from social situations out of fear of rejection.

5. Start judging my sense of self worth by how my clothes fit rather than who I was as a person.

Yikes, what a downer, I should have gone in the other order!

So does anyone with a "good" metabolism wonder how they'd fare if they weren't so lucky? Or does anyone who's unlucky have any stories from the trenches or advice for those struggling against unfair odds?

Random...Thursday?

[By Crabby]


Random Friday on a Thursday??? What's the Deal?

Sure, it's traditional at Cranky Fitness that Randomness take place on a Friday. But we have Special Plans for tomorrow's post--so what the heck, let's mix things up a bit! What's the worst that could happen?

Outbreaks of silliness, boredom, pointlessness, spontaneous napping...

But no harm done, that stuff happens all the time here anyway! So lets be brave and forge ahead anyway, shall we?


WTF Department: Three Quarters of Women Report Disordered Eating?

You've probably all seen this by now, but a recent survey of more than 4,000 women by University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and Self Magazine revealed some interesting attitudes towards eating and weight:

• Almost a third of women reported that they'd induced vomiting, or taken laxatives, diuretics, or diet pills at some point in their lives to lose weight;
• Two thirds of the women surveyed (not including those with actual eating disorders) are trying to lose weight;
• Over half of those dieting were already at a healthy weight;
• About 40 percent said concerns about what they eat or weigh interfered with their happiness;
• Almost 40 percent regularly skipped meals to try to lose weight;
  
• Sixteen percent had dieted on 1,000 or fewer calories a day;
• And thirteen percent had smoked to lose weight.

Note: this survey is, of course, depressing. And it's true that women are far too obsessed about their weight. However, can you really take an online survey of Self magazine readers and conclude that their answers represent the views of all women?

Nothing against the magazine, which runs many fine articles, but it's called Self for cryin' out loud. Could it possibly attract, on average, women who are a little more concerned with, well, themselves?

Wait, this just in...

Ninety Eight percent of Men Spend All Day Long Thinking About Women with Humongous Breasts! ... According to a recent online survey by readers of Juggs Magazine...

(And yes, Juggs is a real magazine, though we doubt they bothered to do a reader survey).


A Little Perspective:

Even Cranky Crabs have to stop whining every now and then long enough to appreciate how incredibly fortunate they are. So sometimes it helps to get a glimpse of how horribly complicated and challenging life could be if you weren't born so lucky.

Via Healthbolt is this rather incredible slide show of a baby born with two faces. Apparently this little girl, born in India, can drink from both mouths and blink all four eyes. Local villagers believe she may be the reincarnation of the Hindu goddess Durga.

I will stop complaining about my sore muscles and crunchy knees now, at least for the next few minutes.

Now This Won't Hurt a Bit:

Here's an odd little news item from Marijke's fine blog: According to the Center for Disease Control, more kids and teens than ever are fainting after receiving vaccinations.

(Later, when the insurance bills come due, it's their parent's turn).

Apparently more adolescents are getting shots now (to prevent meningitis and cervical cancer), and teenage girls are particularly prone to fainting.



So We're Done With Health Now, Let's Bring on the Rest of the Randomness!

We be Zoomin':

Check this out if you like cool weird collaborative art. Zoom in or out and the picture seems to just keep on going and going. (Dial-up warning: the program is slow to load even on broadband.)

This Blog Needs More Smut!

Photo by JaHoVil

Yes, even after yesterday's special episode of Skanky Fitness, we're still pushing porn. We know some of you just can't get enough! This time, be sure not to miss these hot, sexy, luscious photos of...

Libraries!

(They really are pretty cool).

And Just When You Thought You Were Safe...

Remember those cute Lolcats? And how it was possible to spend hours checking out "just one more" funny kitteh? Well...

Via MJ ... if you finally wrested control of your computer back and started to get some work done, we must alert you to a possible new threat to productivity coming your way:

Yep, plenty more where that came from at I Has a Hot Dog. You've been warned.

Have a great Thursday, and be sure to come back tomorrow for a Special Post!

Why Care if Women Hate Their Bodies?

This is a guest post by Karly Randolph Pitman--she's a writer, speaker, and mother of four. Be sure to visit her at her website First Ourselves for more information and tips on positive body image and other important topics.

Who cares if you love your body? Why is it important?

These are good questions. After all, loving your body isn't on par with feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, or fostering orphans. It's not like we're ending violence against women.

Or are we?

When we beat ourselves up for not being physically "perfect," however we define it, we are committing violence: violence against ourselves. And because we're all connected, we are also committing violence against other women: our peers, our daughters, and our granddaughters.

For years, I avoided my body hatred, justifying my behavior with, "It only affects me." But it doesn't just affect me; it affects everyone. In her book Like Mother, Like Daughter, Debra Waterhouse writes about how a mother's negative relationship with her body can be passed down to her daughter. But this pattern doesn't just occur between mothers and daughters: society as a whole is bequeathing a negative body culture to the next generation.

I look at my daughters, one a beautiful little girl; the other, a beautiful young woman on the cusp of adolescence. They are fortunate, and blessed to live in modern times. Their foremothers have paved the way for them, clearing the obstacles that hindered earlier generations: They can vote, they have a voice, they can own property. They will witness the first woman in the Oval Office.

So what will prevent my girls from pursuing their dreams? If they buy the lie that they have to be superthin and youthful to be beautiful, that they have to loathe and control and try to shape their female form into something unnaturally unattainable, that will hold them back. The other freedoms won't matter, if they aren't free in their mind: free to love and accept themselves.

I have the power to change that. You do, too. That is why, as a woman, loving your body is some of the most important work that you can do.

It's important because if it remains unaddressed, it will sabotage anything else you try to do. It's scary to put yourself out on a limb, to offer your pearls to the world, and hope that it appreciates their value. It's even scarier if your confidence is undermined, if you're thinking of all the ways your body doesn't measure up.

It's important because you can't separate your body from the other parts of yourself. You can't love yourself while you hate your body.

It's important because you can't be free and clear to love and accept others unconditionally, if you're not loving and accepting towards yourself.

It's important because you can't be the woman, daughter, mother, wife, friend, or woman you wish to be, if you're consumed about thoughts about your body.

It's important because hating your body keeps you stuck. It keeps you in bondage, just as surely as violence, sexism, and injustice does.

It's important because the world needs our sacred femininity.

It's important because we can't fix the "big" problems - war, hatred, genocide, or violence - until we first heal these issues internally, in our battle with ourselves. They come from the same soil. And those problems can't, and won't, get our full attention if we're not healed of our own, personal hatred, first.

In loving your body, you release love into the world. You release courage. You release forgiveness. You release compassion. You release acceptance.

That sounds like important work to me. Love your body; love yourself. Love your body; change the world. Love your body: it matters.

Interview Time!

[by Crabby]

That's a Microphone People, So No Smart-Ass Remarks

We rarely (ok never) have interviews here at Cranky Fitness 'cause honestly we don't tend to get out much. However, thanks to the Amazing Invention of E-mail, we are actually going to bring you a conversation with someone not of this blog, Leslie Goldman.

Who is Leslie Goldman?

Well, she's the author of “The Locker Room Diaries,” (based on years of locker-room interviews with women about their bodies and body image), as well as a co-host of the Chicago TV show Fit Today. And she hosts the awesome blog The Weighting Game over at iVillage. She’s also an accomplished speaker who tours the country talking about women’s body image and eating disorders. Plus she contributes to the hugely popular The Huffington Post, and has written stuff for most of the major magazines you’ve ever heard of.

Yet it’s hard to hold any of that against her! That’s because Leslie is so darn nice and down-to-earth and funny. If you’re not already a regular reader of The Weighting Game, consider bookmarking or subscribing, and you may want to check out her book too.

Cranky Fitness recently caught up with Leslie recently despite our busy schedules (Leslie was just back from speaking at the Menninger Clinic; Crabby was in her bathrobe sipping coffee trying to work up some motivation to go to the gym), but despite the daunting obstacles we made it work! So here to class up the blog a bit is Leslie Goldman.

Crabby: With all the conversations you've had with women about their bodies, what surprised you the most?

Leslie: Well, I spoke with little three-year-old girls who talked about being on diets because they were "fat" (WTF?), pregnant women and new moms battling their shifting weight, women of all different ethnic backgrounds, women who had undergone gastric bypass, women who had overcome eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia and compulsive over-exercising, and women in their 60s, 70s and 80s for the chapter on “the older generation.”

Bottom line: The grass is always greener. Everyone wants what they can’t have (tall vs petite; slim vs athletic; 34A vs 40DD) and very, very few women were happy as they are. Of those who are, the majority of them fell in the “older women” category, which is why I especially enjoyed interviewing Harriet, June, Kookie, etc. These women had so much wisdom to impart – many of them spoke of how the years have allowed them to view their body as more than just eye candy, but a tool for building a family, fighting off disease, caring for grandchildren. It became less about vanity and more about keeping themselves healthy and strong.

It sounds like you've had your own struggles with body image. Is that hard to share that publicly? What kind of reaction do you get?

Yes...and I'm completely and totally open to talking about it. I let it all hang out because I find that women not only appreciate it and learn from it, but feel more open to spilling their "secrets" to me.

After I tell a room of hundreds of girls about how I used to go running at midnight...alone...on a Big 10 college campus, they probably thinks, "Wow - she was even crazier than I was!" Because I was in a total cloud. During my first semester of college, I shed 30 pounds from an already-slender 5’11” frame through a diet of salsa-topped salad and those seemingly endless nighttime runs. My face grew gaunt; I lost my boobs and period. My family freaked out but I just didn’t get it. I mean 5’11” and 120 pounds – that’s what models weigh, right? Now, I can see how deluded I was. There are dogs that weigh more than 120 pounds. I did not look good. In a sad bit of irony, I was majoring in – and acing -- nutritional sciences.

Admittedly, I'm an insanely open and extroverted person to begin with, which helps. For example, in my book, I write, in detail, about my first Brazilian bikini wax. Graphic detail. My father and grandfather have read my book. It made for some interesting dinnertime discussions.

What helped you overcome some of your own body image issues?

First, I have to say being ready personally was an important step. You can’t really help someone if they don’t want to be helped. So once I was mentally and physically prepared to make a change, I made damn sure I had a good therapist. You can and should couch-hop a couple times if you don’t click with the guy or lady right away. I found a male social worker who is challenging and doesn’t coddle me. Some people like a softer approach. I wanted confrontation.

Also, I have to give a shout-out to medication. Honestly, Luvox saved me. I’m know some people out there are anti-antidepressants and so was I for the first few years of college. I thought there was a stigma. Little did I know that 10 years later, 95% of my friends would be on Zoloft, Paxil or Lexapro. That’s an exaggeration, obvs, but I do maintain that being on an SSRI helped to clear away the clouded vision I had of my body. It didn’t make me feel instantly pretty or skinny or sexy, but I feel it put me on a level playing field to fight the disease.

What's it like appearing on TV--is it easy and comfortable or a bit scary?

The first time I starred opposite Brad, I was nervous but pleasantly excited. He was my first kiss.

Oh, you mean after my childhood star blossomed? I actually really enjoy TV appearances. You get so pumped up before and your adrenaline (hopefully) carries you through. I remember walking across Rockefeller Plaza before the Today Show in June of 2006 and all those people who cheer for Al Roker and Meredith Viera fell silent as I came out because they were like, “Who is THAT?” But then, once the interview started – Natalie Morales was the interviewer – it was exhilarating. I remember afterwards, lots of people complimented me on my shoes (I was wearing $14.99 satin peep toe pumps which I never thought would be seen on camera, but because Natalie and I were seated on a faux locker room bench, my legs were crossed and my ankles were up by my ears. Good things I’d done a quick self-pedi beforehand.)

One would guess that there might be some pressure to look as attractive and slim as possible on TV. Is there? And if so, how do you keep it from messing with your head?

This is a good question – I feel like we live by the adage “The camera adds 10 pounds” in our society. Which is why products like THIS exist. Just kidding. I think that camera is sad and gross. But seriously, during a photo shoot for the Fit Today show, I was wearing a tiny sportsbra/tank and too-tight Nike pants and the photographer was having me pose in this crazy ballerina pose where I was standing on my right leg and holding my left foot in my left hand, extending it out like some kind of flying ostrich. And I’m holding the pose and the photographer is saying, “Suck it in! Suck in your stomach! Suck, suck, suck!” And I was already sucking so hard, I might as well have been Jessica Simpson’s latest movie. My stomach is a part of my body I’ve never had any qualms about and still, that episode bummed me out a bit because it made me think, “Um, how flat can a stomach possibly be?”

And advice to women who struggle a lot with feeling dissatisfied with their bodies?

One thing I recently learned about is called "body checking" - this is something I think many women (even myself, admittedly) likely have taken part in without even realizing it. It's essentially the over-evaluation of one's shape and weight via any number of methods...examples include looking at yourself in the mirror (to obsess over a body part - not simple grooming); hopping on the scale numerous times a day to track your weight; trying on a pair of jeans or other item of clothing to see if you "still fit" into it; pinching fat on your body; worrying that your thighs are jiggling when you run; comparing yourself with other women, whether celebrities or the woman standing in front on you at the GAP.

I compare these kinds of activities to jealousy - a pointless emotion that only serves to drive you mad. I would tell women to try their best to give up these behaviors. Also, be aware of the rampant airbrushing which exists in magazines and movies and billboards and lingerie catalogs and everywhere else. No one looks like that. Maybe Gisele, but that's it.

Are you planning any more books?

I want to write another one so badly I could scream! Trust me, it’s on my mind every day. But it’s so hard to chase down an idea. The locker room concept evolved very naturally – I’d overhear women talking in the locker room (eavesdropping…research…same diff) and write it down. For the next one, I know it will be a) non-fiction, b) about women in some way and c) well…that’s all I know, actually. Two out of three ain’t bad!

A lot of Cranky Fitness readers are health, fitness or weight-loss bloggers themselves. Any advice on building a successful blog or book audience? How did you manage to get gigs at iVillage and HuffPo and otherwise become so successful? (Oh hell, Crabby will drop the pretense--forget the readers, this question is for her).

I think...and you can back me up on this, Crabby...that in order to be a successful writer, you've gotta be determined, almost to the point of stalkerish. Editors get 1000 letter a month from other potential writers. You need to stand out. Whether that means specializing in a certain niche like health or movies or sports, or having an awesome, sarcastic sense of humor (ahem...you!), or whatever. You need to be responsible, creative, deadline-oriented, self-motivated. This last point is important - it's just too easy to say "I'm going to write in my PJs today" and then pass out in bed with a box of cereal spilling across your chest. Not that that's happened to me or anything. At least not in the past three weeks. Oh, and work any connection you can. Your roommate's brother's best friend is in advertising at Men's Health? Call him.

There is a rumor you were responsible for putting videos of (1) fornicating gorillas and (2) women with bouncing breasts on the front page of one of the most popular websites on earth. Any truth to this rumor? Anything to say in your defense?

Um…in my defense? Don’t you mean in my glory? The fact that I was able to drop this kind of knowledge on the world at large is one of my proudest achievements. When I saw the first-ever National Geographic photos of wild gorillas having sex face-to-face (which, according to scientists, never happens), I freaked out. I mean that in the best way possible. For some reason, I just found this so romantic, so awe-inspiring, so human. And afterwards, the male ape held the female ape’s hand. I mean…*melting*.
For more on bouncing boobs, you can check this out.

Thanks so much, Leslie!

So, Awesome readers, do go check out Leslie's blog The Weighting Game--(though beware, a certain Crab may be rambling on about nothing in an interview of her own there later this morning).

And if you have any observations or opinions on body image or anything else Leslie mentioned, please share! We always appreciate your thoughtful comments.

Thoughts While at the Spa

[Posted by Crabby]

Recently, as part of an anniversary celebration, Crabby and the Lobster treated themselves to a massage. Rather than go the to the cheap place down the street as they usually do, the Crustacean Couple decided to splurge and went to the Fancy Schmancy Spa instead.


The exorbitantly priced massage included the use of the spa facilities, plus unlimited cups of weak tea and cucumber water. Even aside from the massage, it was quite a treat. There were hot tubs, and cold tubs, and saunas, and strange showers with water jets at all different heights and angles that pounded the Crab in places she'd never been pounded before!

Relaxing? Well, strangely enough--yes!

Anyway, the spa facilities were segregated by gender. (Supposedly, guys go to the spa too, though Crabby is skeptical about this. Perhaps there are no tubs or saunas behind their doorway, and instead their space is filled with big screen tv's and beer and snack bars and racks of girly magazines and video game kiosks. Just a theory).

But the women's side of the spa does indeed exist, and since it's women-only, it's assumed you won't be wearing a bathing suit. You could--but almost no one does, and if you did you'd still have to put it on in the communal locker room where everyone else is getting dressed too.

So, as is true in many spas and gym locker rooms, you end up sharing space and lounging around with strangers while wearing no clothes at all.

Crabby has to ask: does anyone else find this weird?

Not necessarily bad-weird. Just weird-weird.

Maybe what feels weird about it is that our culture is generally so screwed-up when it comes to nudity. We treat the naked human body as if it is (a) incredibly powerful and dangerous; but simultaneously (b) ridiculous and comic and humiliating. Truly, what's a common Worst Nightmare scenario? To somehow be caught naked out in public. It can't get anymore embarrassing than that!

Yet somehow, if you declare an area "men only" or "women only," all this psychological baggage is supposed to magically disappear. Strangers are only supposed to feel 'strange' if they are of the opposite sex.

Crabby actually doesn't mind being naked in these situations anymore, but as a younger person she hate-hate-hated public locker rooms. At some point in college she got over it, who knows why, and now, in a certain mood, she can even enjoy it. There can be something curiously liberating about not wearing clothes in a semi-public place--like you're getting away with something extremely naughty that would ordinarily land you in jail! (Hmm... actually, come to think of it, you are getting away with something that would normally land you in jail).

However, it seems likely that at least a few people might not feel all that comfortable being naked in front of others. It seems odd that even in the most upscale locker rooms and spas, there often aren't many concessions to privacy. Would it hurt to have a few more curtains, changing rooms, and shower doors that close for people who are shy? Just wondering.

But aside from the weirdness of it, there is also something quite affirming about being around a bunch of women in an entirely natural state. For one, it totally exposes what a Big Fat Lie prime-time television is. Because guess what? Real women may sometimes look desperate, but we don't look at all like Desperate Housewives.

Real women not only have curves, we have wrinkles and scars and cellulite! We have ample bellies and sagging boobs and droopy asses. We have wide hips and knobby knees and hair where we shouldn't. We have pairs of body parts that are not symmetrical; we have birthmarks and warts and stretch marks and all kinds of stuff you never see on TV. (Unless of course it's "reality" TV and then the whole point of the show is to have an expert or a surgeon step in and "fix" it).

It's funny, though, the way so many of us women evaluate our appearance not by looking around at the real women nearby. Instead, we look at the air-brushed pictures of actresses in magazines, with teams of trainers, surgeons, and stylists at their disposal. We look and we sigh--why can't we be like them?

Why can't we? Because those pictures--and those women--they aren't real!

The versions we see are just as fictional as the movies and tv shows that make these people famous.

So here's to real, healthy, three-dimensional women. Naked or not!