February 27, 2014

In Defense of Fake Foods

By Crabby McSlacker

Yep, Crabby is feeling all contrary today and thought she'd try to stir up some controversy by contradicting every normal sane health blogger in the world with this daring pronouncement:

It's perfectly OK to Consume Fake, Processed, Non-Natural Foods...!


Well, so maybe it doesn't sound quite as controversial with that qualifier, but I'm not a total idiot.

February 26, 2014

A Walk in the Park

By Crabby McSlacker

Fear not, this is not gonna be a long post or another massive camera phone dump.  Just a couple brief thoughts vaguely related to health and fitness inspired by a walk in the park yesterday morning.

February 25, 2014

Gamblin' Again

By Crabby McSlacker

Gambling seemed like a natural theme for this next camera phone travel photo dump, since:

1. The last similar post was called Ramblin' Again and it rhymes;

2.  We just got back from Reno, a town known as a gambling destination, where we went to celebrate my mother's 80th birthday; and

3.  Life is a crapshoot, right?  You peek at the odds, you roll the dice, and you take your chances. No no matter how carefully you plan--or whether you don't plan at all--there's no way in hell you can predict exactly what's gonna happen.

February 24, 2014

What Happens in Reno...

...Should probably stay in Reno.

But instead it gets blogged about, in excruciating detail! Though not today 'cause I'm in transit.

I sorta thought I'd do a bit more blog posting while on the road, but it didn't happen. Shocking, I know.

Thanks for your patience, all five of you regular readers... back soon!

--Crabby McSlacker

February 20, 2014

Protein: Getting Enough Without Busting the Budget

Today we have a guest post by Andi Singer, who works with the folks over at ihmonline. She is way more of a badass than Crabby, and describes herself as: "a fitness and nutrition blogger and athlete based in the Boise area. She can deadlift 265lbs, run 5 miles, do the splits in all three directions, and kick a grown man through the wall."

February 19, 2014

Ramblin' Again

By Crabby McSlacker

Regular readers may be familiar with the Cranky Fitness Camera-Phone Dump by now, but if you are new here and confused, here's the deal:

1. Lazy Fitness Blogger goes on the road to vacation somewhere or visit relatives;

2. Instead of doing research on breaking health news or rounding up useful tips, said blogger wanders around her environs and occasionally remembers to take out the phone and aim it at something random;

3. Lazy Fitness Blogger then publishes the photos in lieu of a real post and tries to fabricate some connection between the random shots and heath and fitness and...

February 18, 2014

Three Annoying Questions for Josie of Yum Yucky

Yes, it's time to drag out the ridiculous questions and annoy another favorite blogger, Josie from the awesome blog Yum Yucky.  (Note: Josie turned 41 yesterday, and celebrated the event not by sensibly diving face first into a vat of chocolate cake as I would have, but by constructing a booty challenge and eating cereal and bacon.  Go figure!)

In addition to great blog posts, Josie is an awesome source for fun, informative, and hilarious videos, something you ain't gonna find here at Cranky Fitness unless Crabby has begged someone else to do 'em for her.

Welcome, Josie, and here are your annoying questions! --Crabby

February 17, 2014

Rut-Buster Playground Workout

What could be more obnoxious than posting an outdoor playground workout when most of the playgrounds throughout the land are coated in treacherous ice and buried under 47 feet of snow?

Oh yeah, maybe posting La Jolla beach bike ride photos during a polar vortex.

Sorry about that. We've already established that I'm kind of an asshole.  But what's a thin-blooded weather-wimpy snow-bird blogger supposed to do when she gets bored with the gym?

February 14, 2014

Lovely Links: Screw Valentine's Day Edition

By Crabby McSlacker

So yeah, it's Valentine's Day, but let's say the hell with it here at Cranky Fitness, shall we?

It's not like there aren't a million card-and-flower-and-jewelry pimping commercial enterprises out there, urging guys to fork over big time, or making gals feel crappy that they are single and haven't rounded up a husband yet which is of course supposed to be their primary mission in life. Or worse, that they've picked some unromantic loser who forgot the occasion entirely or grudgingly offered up a mylar balloon and an insulting card and a Snickers bar and called it a day.

Plus, I didn't want to round up a Valentine's Day image...because yay, I finally found the perfect (and appropriately CC licensed) photo for these links posts! (Not that rusty chains resembling giant pretzels aren't fine and all). But I wanted something fun enough to be permanent so I didn't have to think about it and could plop the same thing in here every time.

And am I the only one immature enough to think it's awesome that the woman pictured appears to be an actual Official Wiener Inspector? Though I have to say she doesn't look impressed.

Anyway, so here are a few fun blogs and other links I've bumped into recently while wandering the Wondrous Worldwide Web.

February 13, 2014

Jack Gets Deep-More Secret Blog Ramblings

Yep, the series continues as Jack sneaks off from his own amusing blog Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit and shares some "behind the scenes" goings on with us here at Cranky Fitness. And note: Jack's down with the flu so you might want to wish him well and thoroughly disinfect your hands after scrolling through this post.

Welcome again, Jack!


Where were we?

Oh yeah. Even though I spend a lot of time talking diet-y over at Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit, I had this really dumb idea last year to start another weight-loss blog, a super-secret little-more-serious one called Man Overboard where I didn't feel compelled to act a  fool every other day.

Then I went and misremembered the password, so like my childhood pet Grapey, it died on the vine.

Anyways click here to see what you missed (nothing), and keep reading to...well...JUST KEEP READING, OKAY?

February 12, 2014

Best Exercise Enhancer Ever: If You're Not Using It, Why the Hell Not?

By Crabby McSlacker

So yeah, this blog is usually all about the "we're all different, whatever works for you, go for it!" thing.

And yet... I am a fallible human! I sometimes secretly think there are a few universal Health and Fitness Truths that everyone should subscribe to. And if you do not agree with me, no matter how reasonable you sound and how happy you are, I still might silently but stubbornly continue to believe that your brain and body are not really all that different from mine.

Instead I suspect that you just haven't tried hard enough to be exactly like me! And perhaps if I just explain things properly, you will realize the error of your ways.

And so in this spirit of open-minded sharing of thoughts righteous judgmental jack-assery, I'd like to find out if you are using this classic method for making workouts more efficient and powerful and joyous.  And if not, find out why not!

February 11, 2014

Ahnu Hiking Shoe Review

By Starving Bitch

Please welcome Cranky Team member Starving Bitch with this product review!  Note: when lazy-ass Crabby McSlacker finally gets around to updating the blog's "about page" you will learn more about Starving Bitch and how she's been helping out, but you already know her from her fun Cranky comments as well as her excellent blog Striving for Skinny Jeans, where she always manages to keep it refreshingly real even when life challenges abound. Thanks Starving Bitch! --Crabby

I was asked to test run a pair of hiking boots. Well I call them hiking boots but was pleasantly surprised when they showed up and looked more like sneakers, really snazzy colored sneakers.  Just goes to show you how often I “hike” I imagined these hideous brown boots that go half way up my calf. 

So... they're not ugly! But how do they perform?

February 10, 2014

My Fitness Pal Review: What's Awesome, What's Awful

By Crabby McSlacker

I am obviously not the first person seeking to shed a few pounds who has discovered My Fitness Pal. 

Or, rather: "myfitnesspal," as its logo suggests it likes to be called. Apparently you're supposed to refer to it in one excited breathless blurt!!  Let's not be dawdling around pronouncing Three. Separate. Words.

Any of you have any thoughts on this or other trackers?  Here's what I've discovered so far.

February 06, 2014

Wine Not? A "Happy Hour" Workout Video Packed full of Antioxidants!

Posted by Crabby McSlacker

This guest video was prepared for us by special request by Kim over at Day With KT (with help from her awesome and talented son the videographer). And yeah, I'm posting it first thing in the morning, sorry, but somewhere in the world it's gotta be happy hour, right?

We are all big fans here of Kim's blog, which is not only fun and inspiring, but contains great exercise videos. She's got all kinds of moves to help you mix up your workout, but each video is short and simple--though not necessarily easy. (In fact, many of the moves are hella hard, which makes sense because Kim runs ultra marathons between meals like we might mosey into the kitchen to get a snack, and I believe she can bench press grand pianos and dead lift freight cars and she wrestles grizzly bears and killer whales just for her post-cardio cool-down.)

Anyway, in figuring out how I could exploit her talents over here at Cranky Fitness, it occurred to me that like Crabby, Kim is a fan of a nice glass of wine in the evenings. Yet unlike Crabby, she has a respectable blog.

And thus a workout video idea was born!

Do not fear, there is no blaring soundtrack as is the case with many workout videos. It's all quite civilized.  (But note: if you are in recovery and trying to avoid triggery reminders, you may wanna skip this one).

Otherwise, enjoy! --Crabby

February 05, 2014

Nuts: Can They Help You Lose Weight?

Note: you may have to be a bit more particular as to where you get your nuts.
Photo: oddsock 

So you've probably read over and over that nuts are good wholesome whole food you should be eating.

Rather than do the whole tedious round up, I'll just let the able Jane Brody of the NY Times step in. She can sum up the ginormous 119,000 subject Nurses study findings for us on the health benefits of nuts:

"The more often nuts were consumed, the less likely participants were to die of cancer, heart disease and respiratory disease, and not because nut eaters succumbed to other diseases. Their death rate from any cause was lower during the years they were followed. (The nuts in question were pistachios, almonds, Brazil nuts, cashews, hazelnuts, macadamias, pecans, pine nuts, peanuts and walnuts.)"

(Though if you are allergic to nuts, I imagine all this "you should eat nuts!" stuff must get awfully tiresome. You must be wanting to scream "NO I F--CKING SHOULDN'T EAT NUTS OR I'LL DIE YOU MORON!!!"  dozens of times a day.  Feel free to do so now if that makes you feel any better).

But, for the rest of us, yeah: Nuts are no longer considered a "bad" fatty food that you should avoid (if you are old enough to remember those ancient times). Now nuts have somehow changed into a virtuous snack with untold health benefits.

But can they help you lose weight? For reals?

February 04, 2014

Three Annoying Questions...For Jennipher from Fit Bottomed Girls

By Crabby McSlacker

So it's time yet again to play "3 Annoying Questions!" Our next victim is Jennipher Walters, someone I actually got to meet and hang out with at a Dole-funded event a few years ago.

It was rough: we were wined and dined and subjected to spa treatments and cruelly forced to write our thoughts about mushroom powder and frozen bananas. 

However, during the event I discovered Jenn's deep dark secret...

February 03, 2014

Resolution Resurrection: Emergency Repair for Broken Pledges

Even back in 1909, people totally sucked at keeping resolutions
By Crabby McSlacker

For those of us who were nutty enough to make official New Years Resolutions January 1st, or set some other sort of goal, formal or informal...

Well gosh, a month has gone by now, hasn't it!

Is it time for a little smug celebration? Some minor tweaking? Some major re-thinking? Or perhaps some hysterical WTF-was-I-smoking laughter?

Well, here's the thing: no matter how hopeless you feel about your progress now, if you are able to force yourself through this entire post, I can solemnly swear be pretty darn sure you will be feeling much less crappy and much more hopeful about the state of your goals by the end.

Wait, how can I be so optimistic? I'm hardly ever "pretty darn sure" about anything!