May 31, 2007

Fat Acceptance Continued...

This is in lieu of a whole different post that was supposed to be for Thursday. But Crabby found the comments in the previous post on Fat Acceptance so articulate and compelling, she just wasn't quite ready to move on. If any readers missed the last post, skim over Crabby's part and jump down into the Comments, where the real action is.

Crabby has not managed to respond to all the comments in the last post yet, but she promises she will, either there or here. (It's bedtime, but she will be back). She will be in and out on Thursday, attending to the demands of Real Life, but she will also be catching up with you all when she can.

Of course by saying, "let's keep the discussion going," Murphy's Law pretty much guarantees that everyone will have said everything they wanted to say about this. Crabby will have made a big deal out of Nothing, and the Comments to this post will be empty. Perhaps no one else but Crabby is interested in keeping this going. That's fine; she's quite used to making a fool of herself.

But this is her hope: that people will keep telling their stories for a while longer, and her smart readers will comment on each other's comments a bit longer. (Feel free to comment in this post about something your read in the last one). Crabby also hopes inspiration will strike and that she will draw some grand conclusions, or at least have something to add. (More likely she will make some simplistic generalizations instead, and satisfy herself by being impressed and amazed at all of you).

So this is the plan: she will respond to your comments below, and Update this main post with Insipid Generalizations sometime later tomorrow. (Thursday).

As Crabby is very aware, the best thing about her blog are her clever and thoughtful readers.


  1. So many thoughtful comments yesterday!

    I'll continue the discussion here rather than in the thread below.

    TJWriter, thanks for your return. Portion control is a great idea, especially if hubby's not the retrainable kind.

    I totally agree that the focus should be on fitness rather than fatness. Sounds like you've made great strides in changing that in your life. Thanks so much for your comment.

    Angelfish, welcome!
    The changes you're making are really inspiring. (And I think setbacks are a natural part of progress towards any difficult goal). Great to hear you're trying to be healthy now. And thanks for the visit!

    Yes, I want my cookie too! Thanks so much for sharing your frustrations. It's not f*cking fair, in my opinion, that some have to work so hard to get fit, and society still looks down on those who are fit but bigger.

    As to the low carb/insulin thing, I think they just did a study, on kids at least, that basically says it really works well for some and not for others, depending on how your body handles insulin. Sounds like you've found the plan that works best for your body. (And sometimes the stupid scale doesn't take muscle into account, which you've probably got more of than before.) Congrats on your hard-won progress and thanks so much, both for your story and for leading me to The Rotund!

    And hi Jennifer!

    Okay, I'm going to break this up 'cause it's getting long. New comment follows.

  2. Okay, you guys are still going down there in the last post, but I'm stubbornly going to stay up here and hope you'll follow me!

    Thomma Lyn,
    Thanks so much! You make a great point about the bizarre disconnect between the standards we're supposed to aspire to and the realities of our growing size. And for me, too, exercise is key! Good thing it's also so good for you, but wish it wasn't such a pain in the ass at at times.

    Cindy, great comment.
    Sounds like you're another one who low-carb is best for. (If I ate just 1200 calories a day I couldn't function, yet you were gaining on that. Wow.) So glad you've found something that works; your choices sound really healthy.

    Tammy, thanks so much! You've been dealt a difficult hand but sound like you've been dealing with it in a most inspiring way. "I didn't get lucky with anything in my life. If I'm to lose this weight and become stronger and fit it will be only through daily work on my part just like everything else in life... work. With a little dancing and play mixed in!" What a healthy attitude!

    Okay, I'm going to split this up again...

  3. Katieo,
    Thanks for that! And it's great that the 30 lbs you lost has had such a positive impact. (And thanks so much for all your comments lately, they really add to the blog!)

    Kery, welcome!
    Sounds like a lot of really positive (but difficult) healthy changes you've made in the last couple of years. Congratulations on turning things around like that--it's really hard to overcome habits you've had since childhood, especially when society says they're normal and everyone else still gets to scarf down cheeseburgers while you're munching on vegies! Hope you'll be back!

    And welcome Mincat!
    I think its so cool that your motivation right now is primarily health-related rather than size related. Slow, steady incremental change is hard but I think you're right--it's better than going on some extreme diet and exercise program that you can't maintain.
    Thanks so much for stopping by!

  4. The good thing is that society where I live definitely frowns up on eating breakfast for a dinner. ;) So at least it's easy to convince myself that I don't want the 'stigma' of Nutella in the evening.

    And yeah, I'll be back. This blog has made its way in my feeds reader in the meantime. :)

  5. Re: That's Fit
    "1. Sorry, Jessica but I have to respectfully disagree!"

    Sorry, for some reason I can't seem to post on That's Fit from work. But I wanted to applaud your comment to the "We love to gawk at fit celebs".

    personally, I don't get why those posts are even on That's Fit. The only "celeb" stuff that I could see on there should relate to health and fitness, not fashion.

  6. thank you for popping byyy :) i got you through veo. and yes its a bitch especially when you plateau and binge. i love reading your stuff.

  7. I was underweight for most of life. From adolescence to my mid-30s I was 6' tall and weighed from 125-140 pounds. I gradually began fulfilling my mother's oft-chanted mantra of "you'll fill out dear" until I topped out at around 180 pounds in my 40s.

    That lasted until I quit smoking last year, at age 55. Now I'm struggling to get under 200 pounds. And (how unjust is this?) I'm an inch shorter now! No, I'm not captital F-fat but I'm heavier than is healthy for me.

    I understand the recipe and long ago distilled it to four words: eat less - do more -- but am finding my body's metabolism stubbornly resistant. Plus, in the SO-not-fair department, I've learned that a couple of Twinkies can undo two days of salads.

    I used to think that most fat folks simply lacked discipline and/or common sense. I'm wiser now.

    Good topic Crabby. You touched a nerve girl. :)

  8. You sure have sparked something off here, Crabby. You're talking about things that so many people can relate too.

    Your "clever and thoughtful readers"? (Dawn preens herself!)

  9. Hmm.. this one is a thinker, so thank you for that.

    I'd say I'm neither fat nor skinny. I don't mean that to come out like a cop out. I'm 5'5" and my BMI and weight are both well within the supposedly normal range. So by all the insurance charts, I'm right where I should be.

    However, I know exactly what weight I feel the best at. I'm running about 5-7 pounds heavier than that. That bugs me, so I'm trying to drop those.

    I was fat about seven years ago. And it was 100% my fault. I got myself into a pretty miserable situation at home a while back and ballooned up to about 25 pounds heavier than I should be. I started eating in the Zone and lost it all. It wasn't easy and the one thing I learned was that, at least for me, it's really about self-awareness. I need to be aware of how my emotions and my food intake are related. I need to be aware of just how insulin sensitive my body really is. I need to be aware of my sweet tooth.

    It really comes down to being aware of my genetics and how my bad habits work against me. I have a wicked sweet tooth and I need to watch it - plain and simple. I'm not so much worried about the actual number on my scale anymore. I thank my '30s for that. It's more about how my clothes fit and how I feel.

    What's hard about it, is that I have a 10-year-old daughter and I've really tried to focus her on health, NOT size. It's hard to counteract everything that shows up in the media. Though I try like hell.

    God, Crabby, I could go on for days! Great post. I love the discussion so far.

  10. Hi Kery,
    I have been known to eat a bowl of Lucky Charms (kiddies cereal with marshmallow "treats") for dinner on occasion, but I'm not proud of this. Nutella sounds at least vaguely healthy what with the word "nut" in there, though I don't know that I've ever tried it.

    Hi Scott!
    I'm a perennial pest over at That's fit, and yes, they seem to veer back and forth between the informative and the junky. (I'm one to talk). They seem to have some basically good bloggers that I suspect must have to fill some sort of quota for links to certain sites. But they have some good info, are very nice, and let me divert traffic over here when I can manage. So thanks so much for commenting here when you were thwarted there!

    And hi again mincat! Great blog.

    Hi Frank!
    I can't remember how long the post-quitting smoking weight gain is supposed to last, but I'm pretty sure I read a study that says: (1)yes it's real; and (2) that it eventually relents a bit. Good for you for at least trying on the salads; lots of folks just stick with the twinkies & throw in the towel.

    Sorry about that lost inch though. I know how attached men are to their inches. Oh, you meant... never mind.

    Hi Dawn!
    I notice you have some awfully clever & thoughtful readers out your way, too!

    Smartcookie, thanks so much!

    I think we both have sweet toothes--yet we torture ourselves with pictures of Cookies and Cupcakes on our own blogs. How masochistic is that?

    (Though metabolically, I don't face any special challenges, so can get by fine by eating 90% healthy and 10% crap. I know not everyone is so lucky).

    Glad you've found a system that works for you, and thanks for commenting on this.

  11. re: Nutella

    Ooooh. Nutella's one of the things I had to give up when I started my diet. :p It's a chocolate/hazelnut spread, and it's DELICIOUS.

    Technically, I could squeeze it into my diet every now and then, but it's too sugary to really be feasible. *sigh*

  12. Damn, chickengirl, it's chocolate-hazelnut?

    I kinda wish I didn't know that!

  13. Re: Nutella too,

    Haha, yes, it's probably more calories-packed than 'healthy' in any regard. XD And even more so when it's some kind of ersatz that imitates Nutella (it's cheaper, of course). It's indead chocolate/hazelnut, with lots of sugar and fat--about 513 calories, 30g fat and 54g carbs for 100g. Evidently, we didn't use to put 'just a little' on that white bread of ours...

  14. I'm not so much worried about the actual number on my scale anymore. I thank my '30s for that. It's more about how my clothes fit and how I feel.

    Thanks for pointing this out, smartcookie!

    I haven't owned a scale in 20 years. Muscle weighs more than fat, so you can actually lose inches while gaining pounds. Water weight also factors into the issue, especially for women.

    I suspect that being a slave to the scale has discouraged and misinformed a lot of people who have tried to slim down. I get so sad and frustrated for my friends whose daily mood and even their self-esteem is tied to those numbers!

    What size jeans you're wearing and how comfortably they fit is a far better marker of progress in losing or maintaining "weight" (size) than the scale can ever be.

    When you think about it, would you really care how much you weighed on the scale, so long as you had good health, a nice figure, and could fit the size you think ideal for your frame? Weight is just the gravitational pull on your body, after all. An obese person can go to the moon and weigh less, but it won't make him/her any smaller.

    No scales for me! And I recommend everyone else toss the stupid things, too! Here's my one simple rule of size maintenance: Don't buy bigger clothes than the ones you've got now. If you have no bigger clothes, you must find a way to fit them.

    Your scale will deceive you, but your clothes, tape measure and mirror won't lie!

  15. Nutella, must avoid... nutella, sounds yummy... must avoid... yummy...

    uh oh. Thanks Kery!

    And really good points you make, bunnygirl, about the scale. But I know too many people who are too transfixed by the numbers to be able to ever give up on it, no matter how irrelevant the number might be. Like you, I'm more of a fan of the pants waistband method, not that I haven't gone up and down a bit over the years.


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