May 01, 2007

Bigger Bouncy Breasts! And Technorati Rankings!

Note to nonbloggers: please bear with Crabby once again. More Health & Fitness news served fresh (or only slightly stale) here daily! Or at least fairly regularly.

So having entered her third week of blogging, Crabby can't help but write the obligatory "google has finally found me" post. It's just too irresistible! Old hands may yawn and scoff and skip this post, but to Crabby it is all still so New and Amusing that she must take a few moments to share her experiences.

Dawn, a witty blogger who visits here frequently and favors cream-filled apple donuts, predicted that Crabby's post on "Great Big Bouncy Breasts" might indeed catch Google's attention. (It was a post about sports bras and leotards). Dawn observed that her own post on Technorati Ratings brought her a spike in traffic.

Crabby went along with the joke, but the premise seemed unlikely. In an internet world filled with pornography, how would anyone ever end up on Crabby's poor little blog looking for breasts? There are breasts everywhere! Cranky Fitness, though it has the best of intentions, is brand new and not widely read. Of the 75 million blogs out there, it is probably number 74,999,999.

Yet she is starting to get a few google hits from people looking for Big Breasts.

How is this possible? These searchers must be on page 86,032 of their search results, compulsively clicking on each entry on every page. These poor guys (I'm assuming) would have to be absolutely insatiable in order to end up here.

Why not just buy a magazine or find a cozy porn site filled with humongous mammaries and wallow there all day? Seems much simpler. However, Crabby supposes that they must fuel their addictions with Brand New and Different Breasts every few seconds. Or something.

As a grumpy aside, Crabby is not on speaking terms with Technorati right now. She hasn't been able to log on and tech support will not get back to her. So she can't claim her blog and put it in the proper category. Also, she hates them because they don't care how well-intentioned and fussed over a blog is, they're only interested in how many people link to it. In Crabby's case, it's quite an unimpressive number. Technorati is messing with her self-esteem which makes Crabby very Crabby indeed.


  1. I've had some challenges with Technorati in the past, but eventually it worked itself out - it's a much more user friendly place than it was 3 years ago when I joined. That said, I'm still not sure what its really for. :-)

  2. Yeaaaah for boobies! And even better, big ones! You go with yer badass blogging self.

  3. Do you realise, Crabby, that you could be up for some sort of award - a knighthood, maybe - for services to mankind?

    Your site may have turned someone from a life of chasing big bouncy breasts into a fitness fanatic. At this very moment there could be some little man throwing aside his plastic mac and racing out to buy dumbbells and health food.

    Saint Crabby. It has a certain ring to it, don't you think?

  4. Hmm, Saint Crabby...

    Kind of hard to picture, actually.

    As is an army of big boob pervs lined up to buy flax and oat bran, scurrying to trade in their plastic macs for workout gear.

    (I get to say "Mac" even though I'm american because it's in direct response to Dawn who can legitimately use the term. "Raincoat" just doesn't have the same jaunty ring to it.)

    (God, now I hope I actually have that right. A mac is a raincoat, isn't it?)

  5. LMAO! It doesn't surprise me you're getting hits from Google Boobie searches. I could tell you some odd search strings that have brought people to my blog via Google -- the weirdest combinations you can imagine of "wrestling", my home state, and a certain word that in some contexts can mean "cat." :-D

    Ah, the wild and weird Internet!

  6. You've posted a lot since the last time I visited, Crabby. Are you trying to break a record?

    I read the original BBB post, but I just couldn't bring myself to comment (it didn't seem appropriate, since it isn't an issue for me).

    Google searches and Crabby's blog post. Too much.


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