Meatloaf Musings

[By Crabby]

Shall I serve peas with that?
...Nah, screw the peas, I hate peas.

(Photo courtesy of Plan59)

So last night we had meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and salad for dinner. (I do actually cook sometimes, despite all my whining about it).

And I loved every bite! Meatloaf and mashed potatoes: the epitome of comfort foods, right? (That is, if an epitome can be two things--any English majors out there?)

It's just the sort of dinner I would have enjoyed as a kid. Well, except that back then we'd have been rushing through the meal and our usual wholesome family bickering in order to watch the "Room 222" or "the Carol Burnett show." (Whereas now we plop down with tv trays in front of our big-ass tv and spend a leisurely meal watching wholesome family drug-dealing on "Weeds," or wholesome family wife-swapping on "Swingtown." Gosh it's great to be a grown up!)

But even though the pleasure I take in it is the same, the meal itself has gradually transformed since I was in elementary school. I probably would have turned my nose up at it, many decades ago, had nose-upturning been allowed at our dinner table.

Over time, here's how my meatloaf, mashed potatoes and salad have changed:

Last Night's Loaf:

• The meat was ground turkey, not ground beef;
• The bread crumbs came from whole wheat bread, not white;
• There were about twice as much chopped onion and red bell pepper as in the original;
• The vegetables were sauteed in extra virgin olive oil, not butter;
• The egg contained Omega-3's (though some say it's not worth bothering with these);
• There was a fair amount of cayenne and thyme and other good-for-you spices;
• (But the ketchup on top was pretty much the same. Gotta have ketchup--and the sugar-free kind tastes pretty much like rust as far as I'm concerned.)

Last Night's Spuds:

• The potatoes came from the produce aisle, and did not come dehydrated in a box;
• The potato skins were left on;
• The potatoes would have been blue had we not just run out of that kind. (Let's pretend they were blue, though, because that's what I use when they're around and it's more dramatic that way);
• Half of the potatoes were not even potatoes! They were cauliflower, 'cause cruciferous veggies are SO good for you;
• The milk was nonfat;
• The butter was "light" and had canola oil in it too; and
  
• There was no gravy.

Last Night's Salad:

• The lettuce was romaine, not iceberg.
• The lettuce was organic;
• The dressing was not mayonnaise-based or bottled; it was freshly made with extra-virgin olive oil;
• There were vegetables in there other than tomatoes; and
  
• The salad was piled high and covered two thirds of the plate, rather than a couple meager tablespoons.

Now we all have different definitions of "healthy," and some of you make take issue with the specifics of these alterations. But they were made with the idea of making the meal "better" for us. And many of these changes took some getting used to. (Remember your first glass of nonfat milk? Ewwww.)

But now? Yum. To me, it's meatloaf and mashed potatoes again.

I wonder though: as new research comes along, will the meatloaf and mashed potato dinner continue to evolve at the Crab and Lobster household? Will the turkey that used to be beef someday be ostrich? Will the onions be replaced by some new unpronouncable superfood? Will the scientists decide potatoes cause autoimmune disorders and premature hair loss and urge us all to replace them with rutabagas? Who knows?

How about you all--do you try to modify old favorites, or do you just enjoy them less often in their more traditional versions? What kind of dietary changes have you made since you were in third grade? (And does anyone else admit to watching tv during dinner despite all the Experts telling you Not To?)

Reader Recipe: Sweet Potato Chili

[Posted by Crabby]


This recipe features the humble Sweet Potato.

You would think sweet potatoes were the junk food of the vegetable world, wouldn't you? "Sweet" plus "potato" sure sounds like something that should be naughty. An uninformed person might think: Why eat a naughty vegetable when you could use those calories for other important nutritional needs?

(Cartoon courtesy of nataliedee.com)

But guess what: that's all wrong. Sweet potatoes are really nutritious! They're so good for you, in fact, that the CSPI (Center for Science in the Public Interest) named the sweet potato the most nutritious vegetable of all the vegetables in the world!

Note: if this claim seems a bit over-the-top, it may be 'cause this Healthy Vegetable Pageant was held back in 1991. We've been introduced to about a billion "superfoods" since then, and I was too lazy to discover the current rankings. Perhaps the Sweet Potato has been demoted to Miss Congeniality by now (since she seems so sweet and all).

Screw you brussel sprouts, I'm still WAY more popular.
(Photo by Angie Doyle)

But even without the crown: sweet potatoes are full of really great healthy stuff.

So here is an awesome recipe sent in by Megan R, who blogs at Praying Horse. (She blogs about weight loss and emotional eating and has lost 135 lbs!) The chili sounds delicious to me, since I love sweet and spicy things together. As soon as I get my lazy ass in the kitchen and get around to cutting up some veggies I'm definitely gonna give this a try!


Sweet Potato Chili

1 tbsp olive oil
1 medium red onion, diced
1 tsp chili powder
2 cups vegetable broth
1 large sweet potato, peeled and cut into 3/4 inch cubes
2 zucchinis, diced
3 tomatoes, diced or 1 can tomato bits
2 cups cooked pinto beans or 1 can
6 cloves garlic, minced (I like garlic)
1/4 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp dried oregano
1/4 tsp cayenne
Chopped fresh cilantro

Heat olive oil in heavy pan over medium high heat. Add red onion and saute until golden brown, about 5 minutes. Add the chili powder and stir for 1 minute. Add 1 cup of the broth and the sweet potato. Cover pan and reduce heat. Simmer until sweet potato is almost tender, about 10 minutes.

Add tomatoes with the juice and the pinto beans along with the garlic and spices. Add the zucchinis and the rest of the broth. Add pepper.

Simmer uncovered until the chili thickens and the sweet potato is very tender. Add cilantro to the bowl when serving.


Thanks Megan!

IMPORTANT NOTE: We're starting to run low on Reader Recipes... Got a tasty easy healthy one? Please email to Crabby McSlacker @ gmail . com (all one word).

Whole Wheat Whining; Plus... Plug for Panko?

You Know You Should

Nutritionists out there are always nagging us all to eat more whole grains because they're so good for you. But if you don't spend hours making things from scratch, you may have tried to buy packaged whole grain products at your local grocery store.

Seems easy enough, right? Because the grocery store shelves are bursting with products screaming "Now in Whole Wheat!" or "Made With 100% Whole Grain!"

So you grab a loaf of bread or a box of cereal or a frozen pizza and you take it home. Sometimes it tastes wonderful. Other times, it tastes...




Well, maybe a little too grainy.

But at least you tried. You either make yourself learn to like it, or you abandon the experiment and go back to the refined grain version.

Faked Out

Has this ever happened to you? You're at the grocery store and you discover that some refined flour product you used to buy is now available in 100% whole grain. Hooray! So you take it home and try it and it's not too bad!

But then one day you happen to look more closely at the package...
and discover something suspicious on the ingredients label.

Hmm. How come the first or second ingredient is "wheat flour?"

"Wheat flour" may sound "wheaty" and everything, but didn't you read somewhere that it's just a euphemism for good old refined white flour?

White flour?? You told me it was Whole Wheat!!!

So how could those lying scumbag scheming evil corporate toads product marketing specialists get away with calling a product "100% Whole Grain" when it's not?

Because... they just said it was "made with 100% whole grain."

Gotcha!

There could be just a little bit of whole grain and a lot of other things in there too, like the refined white flour you're trying to avoid. Or...


... insect parts! And hey, by the same reasoning, shouldn't these "made with 100% whole wheat" products also have to say: "Made with 100% Insect Parts?" I'd be willing to bet that the insect parts you're eating in processed foods are generally 100% insect. But oddly enough, I've never seen that particular product label.

That Same Old Song

If you are long-time reader this rant may sound strangely familiar. Yep, I wrote the exact same thing (back when no one reading the blog yet) and I was recommending "white whole wheat," which sounds fake but is really actually a whole grain (winter wheat).

And yet again, the reason for all this whining about fake whole grain products is that it explains my excitement when I find one that appears to be (a) real and (b) very tasty.

So those of you who like Crispy Crunchy things, check out Ian's Whole Wheat Panko Crumbs!



Note: of course as soon as I discovered these, they became temporarily unavailable on Ian's site through Amazon. (They currently only seem to ship their non-whole wheat ones, so this picture is of the Canadian version). However, the Ian's people have assured me you can find their whole wheat panko crumbs at a Whole Foods near you.

All in Search of Crispy Chicken

The reason I found out about these in the first place was because the awesome Elastic Waist blogger Anne had a great post on her fond recollection of Shake 'n Bake chicken.

She was all excited because she found a healthier, tastier recipe for crunchy not-fried chicken at Family, Friends, and Food. But... their recipe called for panko bread crumbs, which I've never tried cooking with before. And I thought--do I really want to find yet one more yummy refined grain product to wish I could eat more of when there are already so many, like cupcakes?

But then I googled "whole wheat panko crumbs" to see if there was such a thing, and there was, at Ian's. So I begged a sample off them, made the Chicken Recipe and...

It was really good! Crunchy and only slightly more grainy than it probably would be using regular panko crumbs. (Note: I did tweak the recipe a bit to make it better match the spices I had available, so I can't vouch for the exact combination. And if you want to try it too, don't be scared of the exotic ingredient "EVOO." For those in the know, which I wasn't, it's just extra virgin olive oil).

Summary: Great bread crumbs, great chicken recipe. Want more!

Does anyone else struggle with the Whole Grain Thing?

Fearin' The Flames

[By Crabby]

Memorial Day has come and gone. It's now official (at least in the U.S.): Barbecue Season Has Begun!

This is generally seen as a good thing.

Many Americans enjoy grilled food.

Yes, this is the time of year when 98% of the population says "Yippeeee! Let's fire up the coals and cook us some delicious burgers/dogs/chicken/tofu-veggie kabobs/ostrich patties!"

The other 2% of us? We're the carnivores who love barbecued meat but worry about the HCA's and PAH's.

What are HCA's and PAH's, you might ask?

They're carcinogens. They form when you grill meat. Well-done red meat is particularly problematic.

Carcinogens? Oh dear.

What's the point of stuffing ourselves with boatloads of all those virtuous anti-cancer foods if we're going to cancel out all that virtue with a simple backyard barbecued burger?

All for nothing? Dang!

But I have to confess I LOVE the taste of cancer-burgers and cancer-dogs and cancer-chicken and cancer-steaks. And the mouth-watering smell... How are we meat-eaters supposed to resist that char-grilled aroma when it's hard-wired into our cave-woman and cave-man brains?

(Sorry, all you vegetarians and vegans. But I'm guessing you were long gone at the first sight of that burger picture).

How to deal with this summertime dilemma?


My Previous Barbecue Strategy:

1. Try to limit barbecuing to when we are (a) camping or (b) having company. (Despite the fact that The Lobster* is an excellent and enthusiastic griller of meats).

(*The Lobster=My Significant Other, for those who are new here).

2. When the Lobster is finally permitted to fire up the grill, mention repeatedly at the grocery store (in a whiny voice) that barbecued meats cause cancer. Sigh when approaching the meat counter.

3. Announce that while everyone else might be having steak or burgers, I will make myself have a garden burger or a slab of tofu or a veggie kebab instead. Or maybe at least choose chicken or fish.

4. Think about it some more.

5. Guiltily throw an extra package of burgers and/or steaks into the shopping cart.

6. Once the Evil Meat is cooked, have seconds because it tastes so damn good.

Admittedly, not a particularly effective strategy.

Good thing it turns out there are other ways besides guilt and whining to deal with the grilled meats issue. Who knew? (Well, lots of people apparently, since some of these studies are at least a year old.)

Better Barbecuing Strategies:

1. Marinade! Even a few minutes helps get rid of a whole bunch of the nasty carcinogens, and grocery store dry mixes are apparently fine. This marinade study found marinading reduces HCA's by 87%. The level of reduced HCA's seemed to correlate to the amount of antioxidants present in the marinades.

"The marinade containing rosemary and thyme had the greatest effect on reducing HCAs, but two other marinades with different herbs seasonings were tested and found to be almost as effective. The rosemary/thyme marinade also contained pepper, allspice and salt. Another marinade included oregano, thyme, garlic and onion. A third marinade had oregano, garlic, basil, onion and parsley."

2. Choose wisely: the American Institute of Cancer Research says the grilling of meat is only a small part of the problem--it's what we grill that's getting us in trouble. Because of the link to colorectal cancer, they recommend we limit red meat to 18 ounces a week and avoid processed meats entirely.

3. Pre-cook in the microwave. Then toss out the juice, where a lot of the carcinogens are hiding.

4. Select small cuts of meat, like kebabs.

5. Choose lean cuts of meat and avoid fat dripping on the coals and causing flare-ups.

6. Flip Frequently.



Um, I meant flip the meat.


7. Avoid really high heat: Use a gas grill, or if using charcoal, don't cook meat too close to the coals

8. Don't Cook the Hell out of It. This one doesn't bother me, as I'm a medium-rare kinda gal, but those of you who like your red meat dry and brown and tasteless well done should probably indulge in grilling only "rarely," (so to speak).


So what do you folks do about the 'Q? Just sensible gourmet veggie kebabs, or do you grill up burgers and dogs every chance you get?

Lazy Friday

[By Crabby]

The Crab is taking a day or two off (from what, you may well ask), and rather than just hang up a "Gone Fishing" sign, it seemed only sporting to direct you elsewhere. We know you can always use more blogs to visit to avoid getting any work done health and fitness resources on the net.

Most of you are probably ahead of me on this--how the heck did I not discover the awesomeness that is The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl sooner? Like Pasta Queen, (whom we interviewed recently), Diet Girl is hilarious and half the size she used to be. (Another thing she has in common with PQ is she has written a book! I am so jealous. Let's see, first I'll lose half my weight and then get a book contract...hmm).

Coincidentally, one of Diet Girl's posts reminded me of another awesome blog that you should check out if you're not already a regular: Limes and Lycopene. The post that Diet Girl spotted on small impediments to healthy eating is so Crabby McSlacker! Except for the part where Kathryn stops being lazy and figures out a simple solution to her stirfryaphobia. And for vegetarians, she's got a great series of posts on how to get enough iron.

Ready for the worst segue in the history of blogging?

Speaking of Iron, you know how serious weight-lifter people always seem to use free weights instead of machines? And not only that, but they get very judgmental towards those of us who don't necessarily wanna use free weights?

Well, if you're trying to decide which to use, there's an incredibly helpful resource over at 60 in 30 comparing the benefits of free weights versus machines. And it's not the least bit condescending towards people who use machines or mix and match! Check it out.

Have a Great Long Weekend if You Get One!

Advice for Grumpy Office Workers

This is a Special Guest Post, Hooray!

It's by Ali Hale of The Office Diet. Have you visited there yet? It's a great resource for busy full-time office workers who still have the nerve to want to stay healthy. There are all kinds of sneaky tips and recipes and such. (Plus, she's funny!) Ali is also a contributor to Diet Blog.


How to Keep Healthy and Stay Sane if you’re a Grumpy Office Worker


Nothing induces crankiness quite like being stuck behind a desk all day, in a room full of people whose presence you’re indifferent about at best, doing a job that makes you seriously consider whether watching kettles boil and paint dry would be more stimulating

Welcome to the world of Grumpy Office Workers, who face various challenges in maintaining some semblance of health and fitness in an environment tailor-made for comfort-biscuit-scoffing and slumping in front of a computer screen for eight hours straight.

The real world came as a cruel shock to me after a degree in English literature (when nine am was deemed “really early”, afternoon naps were almost mandatory and lectures were optional.) After a year and a half in tech support I am almost ready to throttle the next person who can’t use a ‘Forgotten password’ button have just about figured out some ways to manage a (mostly) healthy diet and vague stab at fitness.


Escaping from your desk – move those legs!

If, when you stand up, you see dazzled spots dancing before your eyes, and your legs wobble, you just might have been sitting still for too long. The routinely ignored advice for computer-facing workers is to take a break every hour. Boring, right? But it’s a good excuse to slack off, wander around for a natter with a colleague, and accomplish the twin goals of “being the most popular person in the office” and “being the thinnest” by offering round cakes (see below).

You may suspect that your boss will be irked by seeing you meandering around in an un-busy sort of way. In this case, I suggest briskly striding up and down the corridors with a determined gleam in your eye, as though heading off on some company-crucial mission.

And as a side benefit, you actually fit in some activity that doesn’t feel like exercise. Bonus.


Insist on your full lunch hour and get away from your desk

When lunchtime finally rolls around, many Grumpy Office Workers want nothing more than a decent sandwich and a chance to chortle over Crabby and Merry’s latest post without having to constantly Alt-Tab at the sound of the boss’s footsteps.

However, spending your lunch hour at your desk guarantees a successive stream of clueless co-workers asking “Do you remember where we put the Very Important File?”, “Have you got a few minutes to spare today to fit in a teeny weeny extra task?” and “Is that the third cookie you’ve eaten today?” The second-best answer to such questions starts with N, ends with O, and has two letters. (The best starts with F and ends with Off....)

Rather than lingering at your desk, like the smell from your colleague’s egg sandwich, drag yourself out of the building at lunchtime. Escape to the quiet forest, the green hills, the peaceful lakes … or if, like most Grumpy Office Workers, your surroundings consist of the local high street, escape to the gym.

Yes, I get a nice intense half-hour workout in, and yes, I go back to the office feeling totally de-stressed (until I fire up Outlook again) – but the real reason I am known as the company’s “gym bunny” is because it’s darn peaceful there. No-one from the office has ever bothered trekking to the gym to accost me on a treadmill and ask an “urgent” question.


Cookies, cakes, chocolate and other office goodies

There’s something about free food, especially free fat-and-sugar-laden food that makes it nigh on impossible to resist. Even when it’s the stale cookies left over from yesterday’s meeting, the dubious looking sweets that someone’s brought back from holiday, or the gooey chocolatey Easter cupcakes dotted with mini eggs……wait. That last one was me.

Because my advice here is not “practise some restraint and ask yourself if you really want that sorry excuse for a treat” but instead “fatten up all your colleagues by taking in gorgeous baked goods to sabotage their diets.” You might still be chubby, but they’ll be even bigger: so what if you have to resort to somewhat sneaky means to be the slimmest in the office?

Chicken Soup

[By Crabby]

(Crabby's Secret Family Recipes. Why yes, they are all blank!)

Who says we never do recipes here at Cranky Fitness?

OK, we don't. Not unless it's a guest post. But just because Crabby doesn't cook all that often, why should we let foodie blogs like Noshtopia or creative cooks like Roni or Gena have all the fun?


Crabby's Chicken Soup Recipe

1. Take out a sharpened knife, find one of these and....

Grawwwk! Get the f*ck away from me!

Never mind. Just kidding.

Of course we would never kill an innocent bird for our dinner. Personally.

Let's just pretend that grocery store chickens were never actually alive in the first place, shall we?

2. Go to the store and buy one of those fancy expensive free-range organic healthy chickens and...

Crap!

All sold out. We waited too long. Plus it's getting late and we're hungry.

Hmm, what's that wonderful smell? What about one of those grocery store ready-to-eat rotisserie chickens pumped up with who-knows-what-kind-of-chemicals?

Mmmm, sounds great!

3. Pair rotisserie chicken with a salad and call it dinner.

4. Allow guilt to simmer overnight. (What's wrong with us? Why don't we ever make anything from scratch anymore?)

(Did you know simmering guilt tastes almost exactly like chicken?)

5. Go back to the store the next day and buy vegetables. For example: onions, cute little blue potatoes, green beans, zucchini, carrots. No celery because we hate celery.

6. Take rotisserie chicken leftovers out of the refrigerator (or go buy a new one if there's none left). Peel off excess skin, break up carcass a bit and throw carcass into big pan of water.

7. Chop up onions.

8. Cry.

(Onions: way cheaper than therapy.)

9. Throw onions in with chicken.

10. Boil the hell out of chicken and onions until house is smelly and every window is steamy. Maybe an hour or two.

11. Haul chicken back out, and remove bones and cartilage and icky leftover bits of skin. Curse the little tiny bones in the spine that break up and hide in the bottom of the pot. Hope, with little confidence, that you fished them all out.

12. Throw chicken meat back in the pot and add the rest of chopped vegetables.

13. Add more water as necessary and continue to boil the hell out of the chicken and vegetables until the whole thing starts to taste less like chicken water and more like soup.

14. Consider straining but remember that you still haven't bought a strainer so what the hell. No one in the household has died (yet) from the extra chicken fat or those sneaky little bones.

15. Salt and pepper to taste.

16. Realize after smelling and sampling the stuff for hours and you don't even feel like chicken soup anymore.

17. Refrigerate soup and call for pizza delivery.

18. Let guilt simmer again over night. It's better when the flavors have had a chance to marry.

19. The next night, have soup! Feel smug. You cooked!

Intermittent Fasting: A Cranky Fitness Primer

[By Crabby]

Mmm, Nothing Beats The Fresh Crisp Taste of Air!

We at Cranky Fitness endeavor to stay at the cutting edge of nutrition and health reporting, except when we can't be bothered.

But we can't help noticing that Intermittent Fasting is becoming a hot topic. So it seems a good time to try to scrounge up a few extra google hits bring readers up to date on this important new research development!

So here is it is: a Cranky Fitness Q & A, telling you Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Intermittent Fasting, Unless It's Kind Of A Hard Question.


Q: What is Intermittent Fasting?

A: "Intermittent Fasting" means: Not Eating (yikes!)-- But Only Sometimes (whew!)


Q: Sounds Unpleasant. Why in the World Would I Want to Do That?

A: Because research suggests that intermittent fasting may have health benefits. This seems to be true even if you go back and scarf up all the calories you missed out on once you go back to eating. And this technique works particularly well if you're a mouse! (Most of the studies are still animal-based).

Also, there is plenty of research suggesting that people on long-term calorie restricted diets see improvements in health and longevity. But then who wants to face the prospect of nearly starving yourself every day for the rest of your very long, long, long, long life? Intermittent Fasting is, at least theoretically, a way to get some of those Calorie Restriction benefits while still getting to pig out every now and then.

Two good but somewhat conflicting sources of information on this are: Mark's Daily Apple, which gives handy and rather optimistic suggestions on how to do IF, and an article by Alan Aragon, who has brought together a lot of research on the subject and is perhaps not quite so optimistic.

(Note: we love Mark's Daily Apple, but they are much more Hardcore Healthy over there than we are, so we shall be poking gratuitous fun at them. They are always so darn cheerful about eating their junkfood-free diets. Where's the whining? Anyway, Mark fans, be forewarned).


Q: What Are Some of these Great Health Benefits From Fasting?

A: Glad you asked! If the animal stuff proves out in humans, some of the benefits could include: "decreases in blood pressure, reduction in oxidative damage to lipids, protein and DNA, improvement in insulin sensitivity and glucose uptake, as well as decreases in fat mass." (Note: summary stolen word for word from Mark. Why waste good summarizing?)


Q: Sounds Cool! So How Much Not-Eating Will I Have to Do?

A: Here's where it gets complicated. There seems to be two ways of looking at it.

The Easy Way:

This is the approach taken by the folks at Marks Daily Apple. Basically, they say: don't eat whenever you don't feel like eating. You don't have to go a whole day without eating, because, well, I don't know why not.

Along with more difficult options, they suggest the "condensed eating window," the "early and late" plan, and the "skipped meal." (They also suggest elsewhere on the blog that you should generally be trying to fuel yourself by grazing throughout the day, eating frequent meals to keep your metabolism moving. So as far as I can make out, if you're eating frequently or not eating at all, it's all good. Or all bad--it depends on your general tendency towards either smugness or guilt).

But Mark isn't the only one who suggests that skipping even single meals might bring health benefits. He's got Mark Mattson, a neuroscientist, on his side. And we hate to argue with neuroscientists because who knows, one day they might do something sneaky to our brains when we're not paying attention.


Q: So What's Wrong with Doing it The Easy Way?

A: Well, a quick glance at both the human and animals research seems to indicate a mysterious leap from studies looking at "Alternate Day" fasting to recommendations that one try "Intermittent Fasting" and skip a meal here and there. The studies that look impressive tend to be "Alternate Day" regimens that involve fasting or drastically reduced eating (i.e. 300 calories total) for an entire day, not just missing a meal now and then.

In fact, research suggests that "haphazard eating" isn't smart and that eating just one meal a day has some health downsides.

On the other hand, research for this blog post was not exactly exhaustive. (Hello, Google? Got anything on intermittent fasting?) So if anyone knows of a good study showing awesome health benefits from skipping random meals, please pass it on.


Q: Okay, So Should I Try Alternate-Day Fasting Then?

A: Sure! But watch out:

Most people who do it get really hungry.

On the other hand, many of us know people who fast periodically or who eat just one meal a day and they seem to be totally fine with it. (Weak-willed cupcake-consuming slackers like Yours Truly are not among them).

Q: This is Too Confusing! Maybe I Should Just Go Back to the Idea of Fueling My Metabolism by Eating Small Frequent Meals All Day Long?

A: Errr... maybe not!

Weirdly enough, given how many times we hear this "fueling" suggestion, according to the Aragon article there's not really much research to back it up. It looks like folks may be overgeneralizing from the Don't Skip Breakfast research. (Don't Skip Breakfast is indeed well-supported. So we're with your mother on this: don't even think about it).

Q: So then What Do You Suggest?

A: Don't skip breakfast. But then after that, do whatever the hell you want. Keep an eye on the research--or better yet, stay tuned to Cranky Fitness. If the studies get more definitive about when you should eat and when you shouldn't for optimal health, we'll let you know. That is, if we happen to be paying attention that week.


Q: Were You Aware That Reading About People Not Eating Can Make You Really Really Hungry?

A: Yes, this phenomenon has recently come to our attention! However, research indicates that a peanut butter and banana sandwich with a glass of milk will take care of the problem fairly quickly.


So have any of you folks tried fasting?

Or are you thinking about it? Cranky Fitness is too attached to frequent meals to even attempt an experiment, but we'd love to hear your thoughts or experiences.


And On an Unrelated Note:

Tomorrow is a special day for Cranky Fitness. If you're Smart Enough to figure out why, don't give it away just yet--instead, be sure to check in tomorrow for a Very Special Post!

Skinny Bitch Alternatives

This post was written by Jaime, who writes the very entertaining blog Surplus. And you know what? She's not a big fan of the book Skinny Bitch. She's got some WAY better ideas for you.

Skinny Bitch bills itself as "A No-Nonsense, Tough-Love Guide for Savvy Girls Who Want to Stop Eating Crap and Start Looking Fabulous," which I guess it is, or is supposed to be, but what got me to read it (aside from my savviness, and desire to look fabulous) was the fact that beneath this chick-lit-diet-book facade was a call to veganism! Scandalous, I know. Vegans aren't chic! Vegans wear sandals and hemp sweaters! Look at the black-clad chick on this cover - is she a vegan? She doesn't look like a dirty hippie! Although this seemed sneaky (why not "A No-Nonsense, Tough-Love Guide for Savvy Girls Who Want to Be Vegans"?) I was, I admit, intrigued.

I'm not a vegan, but lactose-intolerant vegetarian is very close, and I've found some great food ideas from the vegan realm. And in the last couple of years, Skinny Bitch has been *everywhere*. By "everywhere" I mean I read about it on the internet and saw lots of people reading it on the subway. It probably was on TV, too. (Oprah? Anyone know?) But it was big, and I was curious.

Are you curious, too? Even if you're not a vegetarian, are you interested to hear why some people think veganism is the way to go? Wonder if you might find some wisdom within these pages to apply to your own health-seeking life? And maybe in a hip, entertaining package? Or maybe you're a savvy girl interested in a no-nonsense guide to looking fabulous - you don't care about veganism, but this book's promises sound great. Thinking you might have a read?

STOP. ABORT. DO NOT PASS GO.

Are you ready for a rant? I have one. But all that negativity is probably bad for my pores. So let's look at this from a positive angle.
Here are some things you could read instead of Skinny Bitch if you wanted a well-written, well-organized, well-researched, readable, intelligent, enjoyable presentation of the same arguments:

On veganism: Fast Food Nation. Doesn't actually advocate veganism, but is a much better version of the chapter in SB on the evils of meat production. You know, it really nails that apparently elusive combination of well-researched and written-with-a-sense-of-narrative-or-cohesion. Or we could just fill three pages with a list of quotes from slaughterhouse workers and call it a day.

On a healthy diet: Mark's Daily Apple. This is a ridiculously thorough health/diet/nutrition/exercise blog. Some of the ideas seem fringe at first, but they're backed up by solid science, come from totally sane people, and can still be applied to your life. And unlike some other books that I might be blogging about having really disliked when I read them this weekend, there are actually fantastic guidelines for healthy eating, rather than an a haphazard aggregation of vague directives.

On badass girl empowerment: The Bad Girl's Guide to Getting What You Want. If I made a modest effort to obscure the cover of Skinny Bitch when I read it in public, I can't imagine that I'm admitting to having read this book at all. Granted, I did find it, literally, on the floor of an auditorium. So it's not like I bought it or anything. But then I read it, and kinda loved it. It's more daring than SB, less cheesy, more empowering, less gratuitously cursey. (And I like to curse a lot. But the tone of Skinny Bitch turned me off - maybe because it was coupled with poor writing and shoddy health advice? Hm.) Sure, The Bad Girl's Guide is straight-up chickpowerment, an inherently cheesy genre - also a genre I sort of just made up? - but it's smart, funny, awesome chickpowerment. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Just don't tell anyone, okay?

On the science of diet: Good Calories, Bad Calories; Mark's Daily Apple. Yes, Good Calories, Bad Calories isn't 100% perfect. Sometimes Gary Taubes gets a little selective with which studies he discusses. But it's SCIENCE, something hugely lacking from Skinny Bitch. I refuse to accept health advice without any hint of backing it up or explaining why. So while GC,BC was imperfect, I was left pining for its talk of molecules and cells. And, y'know, research and evidence. Whatever.

On exercise: Stumptuous. Not that Skinny Bitch actually devotes more than a few sentences, total, to this topic. But it maybe should've. I swear by this website. "Strong women are cool! Every straight boy should want one!" The fact that I actually *like* going to the gym, the fact that I have any muscles in my arms (or anywhere else), the fact that I can pick up heavy things that two years ago I'd have attempted to move by sheer telekinetic ability or by staring them down - all thanks to this website. (There's also a smart, sane, thorough section on food.)

I'm all for a cruelty-free diet. I'm all for putting minimal crap into my body. I like health-food, and I like being told that Chix Rawk. I just also like books that are intelligently and coherently written. And don't suck.

Fifteen Healthy Ideas for Grocery Shopping

This guest post was written by Lisa Newton, whom you may know from the great weight loss community site Iowa Avenue.


How many times have you gone to the grocery store with the intent to pick up “a couple things” only to leave the store with two or more full grocery bags?

When was the last time you saw a special food display at your local grocery store and bought something you really didn’t need, but purchased it anyway on impulse?

Did you buy things you normally wouldn’t, but did so anyway because you went grocery shopping while you were really hungry?

If you answered yes at least once, don’t worry--it happens everyday and to almost anyone.

Here are some helpful and 15 practical ideas that you can incorporate immediately to assist you make healthy decisions and improve the results of your shopping:

1. Plan ahead
Sit down and plan at least three days (a week is better) worth of meals. Although it might seem time consuming, proper meal planning in advance will make your life simpler and less expensive.

2. Look online for your favorite Grocery store’s Ads
Most of us go to a grocery chain store for the majority of our food. Perhaps we frequent a couple. Find their website and see what they have to offer week-to- week. Who subscribes to newspapers anymore? They are now online, so I use this resource all the time.

3. Make a List
Using the online advertisements and your recipe file, make a food shopping list. Don’t forget to include all of the ingredients that you need for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and a few healthy snacks.

4. If you have kids, don’t take them
Don’t take the kids – If at all possible, leave the kids at home. Hey, it’s Dad’s or maybe Aunt Laurie’s turn to watch them for an hour.

You need to go to the store without the kids because they won’t:

• Run down the aisles
• Put items in the cart that you don’t want
• Nag you to buy things you know that nobody needs

Also, you get to:

• Focus and finish quicker
• Have a little down time

5. Eat before you shop

If you’re hungry, the chances of impulse buying skyrocket. To solve this problem, have a snack—preferable a piece of fruit—before you go to the store.

6. Wear your pedometer

You’d be surprised at how many steps you walk at the grocery store.

7. Park in a spot that’s not too close

With the addition of your pedometer, enjoy this time for walking, so walk a little more. This gives you some time for yourself, and provides some more activity while you shop.

8. Grab a cart

If you’re purchasing at least three days worth of food, you’re going to need a cart. A cart gives you the freedom to take your time to find what you need. It actually lowers stress. By getting a basket, you’re only going to buy a few items, and if you add more, the basket will get heavy. Believe me, I’ve been there, done that………………:)

9. Go to the produce section first

Many people are tempted to buy the first thing they see when they walk in or something that they want but don’t need. By going to the produce section first, you’ll buy more fruits and vegetables.

10. Don’t forget to check the higher and lower parts of the shelves

In order to increase sales, many name brands or more expensive foods are put at eye level. Typically they aren’t the healthiest. Often, you’ll find the least expensive and most nutritious products on the upper and lower shelves.

11. Stick with your plan

With practice, you’ll start to only buy what’s on your list. If you forget something chances are you won’t forget it the next time.

12. Read the Food Labels!

13. Don’t be tempted by store displays or what somebody else is buying

We’re all different; we are in our own pursuit of a healthy lifestyle. The things that distract you while you are shopping probably occur for a reason—they tempt you. Temptation is a human trait you’ll never lose but can learn to cope with. Therefore, those “buy one, get one free chips,” or “half-price cookies” are on display for a damn good reason. So you will buy them. By buying them, you’re falling right into the seller’s hands. Just remember this, if you are tempted to stray from the reservation, tell yourself: “I made this list and I’m going to stick to it!”

14. Skip the snack food aisle, or stroll down it to prove you won’t buy from it

The bottom line is to keep the healthy foods in your cart and the unhealthy foods out. Remember, the easiest way to avoid eating unhealthy foods is to just say no and not buy them.

15. Plan a “To Shop Time“


A good time for me to go to the store is right after breakfast or lunch. Those times are probably the least crowded making it more efficient for you.

This is my list to help you by providing you with ideas for a healthy grocery store adventure. Do you have any more? Feel free to add to the list, because...

After all, it’s about a healthy lifestyle!

Ch-Ch-Ch- Chia!

This Guest Post is written by the inimitable MizFit, and she's even included a video--unless Crabby has screwed up the coding, in which case she's included a nice blank space. There's a lot more cool stuff at MizFit's blog, so make sure you stop by if you're not already addicted. Enjoy!


Chia seeds are the new rage (if by rage you mean healthy stuff we're told to eat in the name of longevity----which MizFit does) and, indeed, they are precisely the same seed used to grow the frizzy "hair" on the Chia Pet plants.

(It's the easy joke. It's the obvious joke, People, but it bears repeating: NO, you CAN NOT simply eat your Chia Pet.)

Lemmie explain.

The chia seeds are derived from a mint-related plant known as Salvia hispanica. The seeds are high in protein (to know MizFit is to know she is all about the protein), fiber & calcium. Chia seeds are also higher in omega-3 than any other plant source, including the *amazing* flaxseed, which MizFit hath previously commanded you sprinkle on every, single item you consume.

(Does the above fact change my mind? you must view the video in order to to find out.)

Another benefit to Chia (*sigh* I am forced to admit over my beloved flax seeds) is that it expands in your stomach and, as a result, helps you to feel full longer.

In fact, the ancient Aztecs are rumored to have eaten chia before they commenced long marches (I'm thinking if it sustained them through a 'long march' it can definitely see me through a morning with the Toddler Tornado. We shall see.)

Chia seeds are also GREAT for diabetics as they slow down the conversion of carbohydrates into glucose due to their high fiber and protein content.

(I know. MizFit has lost her mind with ChiaLove & is all about espousing the information today. You'll have that.)

Bottom line? Check them out. Chia is great for your health, will help reduce your cravings with their high fiber content and are easy to use.

How easy? (thanks for asking!) Here's a muffin recipe and please to check out the video below.

It's Chiarrific.





(And big love goes out to my DoctorCrush Mehmet without whom the masses might never have realized this amazing seed maketh more than an inexpensive holiday gift for the officemate you barely know). --MizFit

Recycling!

I Don't See a Slot For Blog Posts

[By Crabby]

Don't worry, this isn't a post nagging you to clean out your funky-smelling milk containers and save your used tea bags for the compost heap. I know you folks are green as all get-out and you're all over that stuff already.

(I keep having these nagging recycling questions myself, like: used napkins-- are they paper or garbage? Does it depend on what food they were used for and how disgusting they got? But never mind--like I said, this isn't actually about that kind of recycling).

So I just wrote a comment in an attempt to win a contest at Blogher, which is a pretty hopeless quest but I figured what the hell. And then I thought, why waste what's essentially a short post? So I decided I'd "recycle" the darn comment here.

For other Blogher folks who may be interested in entering the contest and spoiling my chances, the contest is about Your Plans to Live Healthier in 2008.

Note: the deadline is soon and there is a harsh and punitive WORD LIMIT of 250, which made it really hard for me because I do not tend to shut up about anything after writing a mere 250 words. I can't write a grocery list that short even if all I need is milk.

The competition looks pretty stiff, because everyone wants an all-expense paid trip to the Blogher conference in San Francisco this summer, which is the prize. (I'm assuming they know I will no longer be living near SF by then and hate to fly. I'm guessing if I win they'll send a very patient limo driver to Provincetown MA to pick me up and ferry me cross-country. Right, Blogher?)

Unfortunately, lots of the other contestants actually went out and did a bunch of cool new healthy things, which puts me at a decided disadvantage. But here we go anyway!

Crabby's Three Awesome Health Resolutions for 2008:

1. I'm going to run my very first MARATHON! Hooray for me!
1. Oh wait... my knees are pretty trashed. But I'm gonna do lots of healthy stretching and strengthening, and work up to running 5-7 miles five times a week!
1. Err, strike that. How about three to four miles, five times a week? That's still pretty darn healthy!
1. Ouch. Ow ow ow.
1. Sigh. I'll go running ONCE a week and return to dorky race-walking and elliptical like before.

2. I'm going to eat nothing but fresh organic produce, lean protein, whole grains, nuts and seeds and olive oil and I'll never touch another evil cupcake or eat another plate of nachos ever again!
2. Plus maybe a little dark chocolate and red wine, too. Those are good for you.
2. Okay, only ONE cupcake a week, as a treat.
2. Oops. Well maybe some weeks two cupcakes... But definitely only one order of nachos a quarter. Err, per month... Okay, per week.
2. Um, so lets say I resolve to eat pretty healthy MOST of the time, like I was doing already.

3. I'm going to resolve to keep improving my physical and mental well-being in every way possible every single day!
3. Um... most of the time, anyway.
3. Oh dear. Well, maybe I'll just try my best to be as healthy as I can. Life's too short for perfection!

So it's a holiday weekend for a lot of people, and I know you're all out playing and I hope you're having a great time. But if you're doing something healthier in 2008, Cranky Fitness would love to hear about it, especially if it keeps you from going over to tell Blogher about it and stealing my all expense paid trip.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Childhood Obesity: Nature or Nurture?

[By Crabby]

Cranky Fitness is confused.

So there was a study that came out last week on the heritability of childhood obesity. The study looked at how much of childhood obesity is genetic, versus how much has to do with lifestyle stuff.

You know, like eating Pop Tarts and Dunkin' Doughnuts for breakfast instead of oatmeal and blueberries. Or playing video games and watching Survivor instead of going outside to play wholesome games like "Kick the Can" or "Capture the Flag" or "Jump Off the Roof with a Grocery Bag Parachute" or "Nearly Set the Neighbor's House on Fire Playing With Matches."

(Younger readers might not be aware that in the old days, we Baby Boomers were often permitted to play outside for hours and hours at a time, completely unsupervised. Isn't that neat? We tended to be slimmer, those of us who actually survived.)

Anyway, even though the study didn't get that specific, the general conclusion was: fat kids are mostly screwed because of their genes, not because of how their parents are raising them.

A few observations, then I'm eager to hear what you all think.

1. This was an extremely depressing study.

Not just because of the poor fat kids, but also because I could NOT make any sense out of it. I'm hoping an actual scientist might take a look, because it seemed to be saying a lot of contradictory things all at once. I can usually at least follow along a little bit when I read research studies, but this one made me feel dumb. I think it may have said that being a fat kid is about 77% genetic, but, well, don't quote me on that.

2. People Are Going to Believe What They Already Think is True.

Many who report on this study simply go with the headline and proclaim that "Nature Tops Nurture" when it comes to obesity, so Don't Blame the Parents. Others read the same study and come to the opposite conclusion.

At Mark's Daily Apple, for example, where the Impressively Healthy hang out, they noted that there is still a big environmental influence on how genes get switched on and off. If you drop down into the comments section, the general tenor is very academic, and the conclusion seems to be: screw the headlines, it's still mostly Nurture, not Nature.

3. I Think it's Both Nature and Nurture.
Duh.

4. So Don't Leap to the Conclusion That Any Particular Fat Kid has Unusually Bad Health Habits.

If 77% of obesity is indeed genetic, there are some kids who are going to be fat doing the exact same stuff the skinny kids are doing. To stigmatize them and blame their parents without actually knowing anything about their particular diet or exercise habits is counter-productive and really mean.

Back when I was growing up, there were fewer obese kids--but those who were, in my experience, weren't doing anything all that different from the rest of us. To pretend we all have the same metabolisms and that all skinny people are virtuous and all fat people are lazy is just silly.

5. But As a Society, We Feed Kids Too Much Crap and Don't Ensure They Exercise Enough. That Needs to Stop.

Genes don't change over a couple of generations. The obesity epidemic is a real problem, and it wouldn't be here all of a sudden unless something major changed in the way we're eating and exercising.

So since we can't change individual genes (yet), we have to do all we can to make sure all kids are learning healthy habits. The ones who are genetically lucky enough to be a healthy weight despite eating crap and not exercising enough will still pay for it later in life. No one can afford to grow up thinking that unrestrained scarfing of junk food and a sedentary lifestyle are "normal," let alone some sort of entitlement.

End of Sermon.

So what do you folks think about the Nature vs. Nurture debate as far as childhood obesity?

Road Trip: Sacrificing For Science

[By Crabby]

So it would be nice to pretend that for the last ten days or so, I've been getting almost no exercise and eating like crap on purpose. Can we make believe it was really a scientific study? Could I impress you with my dedication to the cause of health and fitness research?

We could say I've been undertaking an intense immersive examination of the psychological and physiological impact of behaving like an ordinary American for a week or two. I'm a regular anthropologist, like Jane Goodall--just without the chimps and the cute jungle khakis and the pith helmet. (Actually, I'm more like the guy who ate nothing but McDonalds for months til he almost died, but I loved the Jane Goodall documentaries I watched back in fifth grade. Do they still show those in schools?)

Anyway, the whole "undergoing hardship for the sake of science" thing is obviously bullsh*t. Really, this last ten days was just an unusually extreme and pathetic variation of what I normally do when on the road: I start off pretty good, then as the challenges of maintaining my normal routine start seeming like more of a pain in the ass, I start to slack. I eat stupider stuff and work out less until by the end, I'm a total disgusting slothful junk-food scarfing machine. But then I'm home.

This time, I gave up on my normal healthy routine about two hours in, said WTF, I'm just not in Virtuous Traveler mode this trip. Screw it. Other people are ordering cheeseburgers-- I'm having one too! And a gym day pass for $20? WTF? That's too much money. Oh, there's nothing healthy on this menu but they do offer chocolate cake for dessert? Sure, that sounds good...

Why was I so rebellious this time? I'm not sure, and I'm not worrying about it too much. One nice thing about doing the mostly-healthy-lifestyle thing for decades, is, I have extensive history with it. I know that I will rebel at times and that I will always get back on track.

The nice thing about this self-knowledge is that I can skip right over the "guilt" phase of the cycle and go straight to the "repent and reform" part. Which is not all that hard after a week or two of eating crap--it becomes way less attractive to me if I wallow in it for a while. Greasy cheeseburgers seem less of a treat after you've had them a couple days in a row.

The most interesting thing this time was discovering how much of the research I read about healthy eating and exercise is actually true! I don't think I'd gone off track for long enough before to really notice the difference.

It's one thing to read that you have more energy, sleep better, feel happier, ache less, and are less stressed if you eat right and exercise. But wow--there's nothing like a bunch of white flour and sugar and saturated fats and missed workouts to prove the point.

So today junk food goes back to being an occasional splurge, not a staple. Stretching and cardio and strengthening are back on the agenda. It was fun to walk on the wild side with the other chimps, but... I want my regular routine back now! I want to feel healthy and energetic and normal again. I feel like, oh my goodness... some vegetables and whole grains and non-hamburger based protein!

So does anyone else go a little crazy when they travel? And if so, how do you handle to the return to real life?

The Flat-Belly Diet

[By Crabby]

Personal Note: the Crab is still on the road, camped out with the Lobster in an empty house in Provincetown, Massachusetts. The good news: we own the place now! (Even though we won't get to live in it for real for a few more months). The better news: Provincetown is still awesome, even in February! Probably because the weather has been unusually mild, but, whatever. Let's pretend it's always sunny in New England in winter.

Anyway, this will be a quick and fairly inarticulate post--we're hijacking wireless off some unsuspecting neighbor (sorry, neighbor) and it may not last long. Fear not, though--Mary will be back soon and in a couple days the Crab will be home and paying more attention to blog matters and less to beadboard and paint chips and window treatments.

Now, onto flat bellies. So, ya want one?

According to the folks at Prevention Magazine, it's pretty easy to own one of your very own. They've even got a picture of four ecstatic women cheering about their incredible results. (They all look far too happy, in my opinion, considering they're clad in work clothes, complete with stern-looking high-heeled pumps. Being a jeans and T-shirt person myself, this photographic evidence seems suspect).

But lets say that even if they're only fake-happy, their results are real. From what I can tell without shelling out any money, here's what you need to do to lose the fat belly:

1. Don't get too stressed (stress=cortisol=belly-fat);

2. Eat lots of monounsaturated fats. (The magazine uses the acronym "MUFA," which doesn't sound very slimming, does it? They need to work on that.)

Where do you find MUFA's? Well, this part is good:

• Nuts and Seeds;
• Safflower, Olive, Flax, and Canola Oils;
• Avocados;
• Dark Chocolate.

3. Oh, and um, to lose weight, limit your calories to 1600 a day.

For an informative magazine, Prevention makes some annoyingly optimistic claims about this diet: "No Exercise Required," "Never Go Hungry" and "Slim Your Mid-section Almost Automatically" are just some of them. But Prevention often does that--they seem to have a sleazy product-promotion division dedicated to subverting the magazine's credibility (which is otherwise perfectly good) by over-hyping various get-slim-quick approaches. If you subscribe to the magazine, they stick these weird pamphlets in there sometimes and you wonder what the heck they're thinking.

But, that doesn't mean the diet is totally lame either.

Given that (a) less stress is good and (b) monounsaturated fats are satisfying and healthy, this may not be a bad idea. There seems to be some actual research behind it (which I should chase down and take a look at just as soon as we decide between the Covington or the Edgecomb or the Wickham Gray paint for the living room). So perhaps MUFA's do have magical belly-fat melting properties.

More chocolate and avocados and olive oil, please!

As it happens, I've been pretty much accidentally on this diet for the past few years, (except for yucky 1600 calorie part). I've been reading forever about how healthy monounsaturated fats are, so I eat a lot of them. Coincidentally (or not)--I have less belly fat than I used to.

But this is one of about 800 nutritional and fitness recommendations I've incorporated into my diet and lifestyle over the last couple decades, so who knows if it's the MUFA's or the intervals or the whole grains or the broccoli or the bench presses that are helping with the belly fat.

Another caveat: given that we've we're supposed to be getting more fish oil and that the CLA's in high-fat dairy might actually be slimming--how the heck are you supposed to fit all these various fats in your diet? Even healthy fats have lots of calories--and I still need to have room left for things like protein and vegetables and whole grains and cupcakes. Yet I don't want to run ten miles every morning to fit it all in.

In general, I hate "simple solution" diets. They almost always turn out to be only partly right. Nutrition and weight loss are rarely simple.

But heck, if you're not getting many MUFA's now and have some bellyfat you'd like to evict, it could be worth a try.

Note: If it works, please send in your ecstatic picture (high-heels optional) and we'll we'll re-market the whole thing as the Cranky Fitness No-Belly diet. We'll throw in some high-MUFA cupcakes and cookies and brownies (which we'll sell for $5 each), and we'll all make a fortune!

So what do you all think about Flat-Belly or other "It's Simple!" diets? Worth a try?

Random Friday

[By Crabby]

Sorry About the Mess!
I've been trying to change my template, and what looked fine on my computer is apparently a disaster on everyone else's. Will do my best to get things up and running soon! Anyway, on to the Randomness..

Tired of Good Food/Bad Food?
If so, then you may not want to read about how regular consumption of grapefruit might increase breast cancer risk. Or even that there's more good news about extra virgin olive oil. (Recent research suggests it may help prevent cell aging, osteoporosis, and cancer. However, the headline seems to promise more than the article delivers--I like olive oil anyway so I'm totally prepared to believe it'll cure anything).

Oh, and there's also more confirmation that oatmeal is really good for you. Too bad I just don't like it at all unless it's a cookie. A hot bowl of oatmeal? Blechh. But I know all the rest of you love it in all its bland gloppy glory, so don't mind me. (Note: the oatmeal item was discovered while browsing the Happy Hospitalist--a cool blog written by a hospital internist who, like me, has lots of opinions but who, unlike me, actually knows something about medicine).

Which Gym is Best: Big Chain Or Local Place?
According to Consumer Reports, your best bet may be a local gym, not a national chain. The New York Times Blog has more, noting that "national chains were often criticized for long wait times for machines, problems with contracts or fees, poorer cleanliness and less adequate locker rooms than other gyms."

As someone who has taken a lot of road trips, I've visited many Wonderful and Awful gyms--and the chaininess or locallyness of them didn't seem to figure in much. My recommendation? Take advantage of day passes and work out a couple of times before you sign up anywhere, national or local. No huge nationwide survey is going to tell you whether the gym down the street will keep the temperature sauna-like or blare weird music at you or have friendly instructors or great equipment or long waits or smelly locker rooms. Gotta find that stuff out yourself before you fork over big money.

Fat Because You're Broke?
It's no secret there's a link between obesity and socio-economic factors. But for a great no-holds-barred exploration of why these two often go together like coffee and Krispy Kremes, you have to check out this post (and the follow-up) over at Violent Acres.

For example: "Celebrities aren’t wearing size 00’s because they possess more self discipline or willpower than you....These people aren’t better than you. They’re richer than you and it’s likely that they spent more on their bodies than you made last year."

I was new to Violent Acres, and liked the screw-it-all honest style of writing, so I went to look for the comments section so I could suck-up and maybe siphon off some new readers share my appreciation of her writing, but guess what? No comments. Want to know why? Check out her FAQ:

"Why don’t you allow comments on your site? Why don’t you post your email address?"

"Because I don’t want to interact with you...I don’t want to feel obligated to reply to your boring emails. I don’t want to take time out of my day to moderate your silly little comments... Networking is just a fancy way to say ass kissing and a link from you is not important enough to me that I’d actually pretend to like you."

Damn, she saw me coming!

Another Reason Why Crabby Will Never Appear on Jeopardy:
Besides not knowing much about anything, I apparently have an appalling slow reaction time. This slightly addictive self-test is billed as way to figure out if you're tired, but even wide awake, I discovered I suck relative to other people when it comes to reaction time. I tested two different times of the day--didn't help. The thing that's cool about this is that it counts the milliseconds and you get instant feedback as your time gets better or worse. When it's over, they tell you what's average--which for some of us, can be really depressing.

And This Is Why Crabby Will Never Ever Get on A Roller Coaster:
This is either a very funny or very painful video, depending on how much of an anxious wreck you are. Being the high-anxiety type myself, I treated it as an Dire Warning: do not EVER let anyone talk you into doing something you know is going to scare the crap out of you. (How's that for personal development advice? All you "face your fears head on" folks can count me the f*ck out).

Anyway, check out this poor newscaster try to be a good sport and do a live report on a new roller coaster. (Note: it takes about 2 minutes to get to the good/horrible stuff, but it's worth it, and as usual, turn the sound down).

Don't Lie: LOI.
So there is now a new movement to stamp out the misleading and inauthentic use of the acronym "LOL" by web users who are not actually laughing out loud. The use of "LOI," (Laughing on the Inside) is suggested as a replacement, and