May 29, 2014

How Do You Make Chores Fun?

By Crabby McSlacker

It's not exactly a shocking confession: I am a foot-dragging, excuse-making, pathetic, whiny chore-hater.

So the title question "How Do You Make Chores Fun?" is not just a rhetorical question. I'd really like some advice!

And yeah, I have some tricks that I use that help a lot that I'll pass along, and I've gotten way less lazy and petulant than I used to be.  But I still dread most forms of manual or clerical labor and make a huge melodramatic production out of it when I'm forced to do any.

A brief search of the interwebs was not much help: I kept finding pretty much the same small handful of ideas I'd already "invented" myself.

So I'm hoping someone has some thoughts?

May 27, 2014

Yoga-Avoidant? Try this Freakish Yoga Alternative

By Crabby McSlacker

Having recently written about my twisted take on walking meditation and aqua-aerobics, I'll now confess that I've been messing around with yoga too.

I struggled with what to call this bizarre stretching/modern dance/meditation combo I've come up with. Yogatation? Crab-Chi? Dork-Fu?

But considering all its various components, and especially how weird it looks, allow me to introduce the shiny new Massively Mortifying Mindfulness Movement Meditation Method©, now available absolutely free!

Yeah, that's "Mmmmmm©" for short. Because "Mmmmmm" is kind of how you're supposed to feel doing it. At least I'm finding it pretty yummy. But then we've already established I'm a little odd.

May 22, 2014

Disorderly Conduct: Go For It!

By Crabby McSlacker

image: wikipedia

This is just a quick post about making a public spectacle of yourself.  Being an ass where people can see you? It's a highly underrated weapon for anyone looking to stay fit and sane for the long haul.

Plus, if you hang in there, it's also a totally gratuitous excuse for a picture of attractive butt-naked men! There are more than enough gratuitous pictures of naked women on the net, so I feel it is my civic duty to try to even up the ratio a bit.

May 20, 2014

Three Annoying Questions for... Roni Noone!

Interview By Crabby McSlacker

This time, our "Three Annoying Questions" are directed at the amazing Roni Noone!

I first started following Roni at Roni's Weigh, but she's also added a couple more great blogs, Green Lite Bites, and The UnWorldy Travelers. Plus she's been heading up an online fitness community, Blog to Lose, and putting on the fitness blogging conference FitBloggin'.  Oh yeah, and she's written a cookbook and started a media company and a twitter movement and raises healthy kids and does all kinds of athletic things like marathons and Tough Mudders, and I believe she's won several Nobel prizes and has been to the moon and was recently named ambassador to Albania. Or something like that. The woman does not seem to sit still for long!

And yet... she always comes off as warm and real and down to earth without any big-headed superstar diva attitude.  What's up with that Roni?

Anyway, you can find out more about her health and fitness empire at; meanwhile, please stay tuned for her answers to 3 Annoying Questions! --Crabby

May 19, 2014

Barking up the Right Tree

By Crabby McSlacker


So as I mentioned, my knee is kinda fucked up lately and I've been doing less of the huffy-puffy type exercising than usual until I can see the doctor.   This means lots more walking, and, unfortunately for you guys, more meditation-like activities and more thinking about all this psychological stuff and how it affects us.

Lately the blog has even sort of unofficially instituted a new feature I could call "Mindfuck Mondays!" But then if  did that, my own contrariness would pretty much guarantee that by next monday I'd want to blog about hemp milk or bog snorkeling or something totally different.  So, fear not, there's no new official monday thing.

But meanwhile, somehow this post seems to be about brains and bark.

May 16, 2014

Pet Peeves at the New Gym--Guest Post by Cindy at Fat Chicks Fitness

So where is Crabby? She's off, yet again, celebrating the marriage of some friends up in Northern California. (They're both lovely women, thus making it a gay marriage--Crabby's favorite kind!) 

As it happens, the celebrations require a couple days of travel back and forth, plus there is a chauffeured wine tasting tour involved--so any pictures Crabby might post today could be blurry, and her words might be slurry, and plus she'd be in a hurry, so why cause any worry or even risk fury when we have a fun guest post on hand?

This guest post is by a favorite Cranky Fitness commenter, Cindy who blogs over at Fat Chick's Fitness!

Enjoy, and I'll be back Monday--Crabby

I wrote this for my own blog but, then I realized it is kind of representative of the foolishness I get up to at Fat Chicks Fitness so why not see if Crabby McSlacker will post it on her site. Save the good stuff for my blog! YEAH!

So I went with my friend to check out a gym that she just started at. I thought it was the one that has the massage chairs but she told me, Nope, not at her location. No comfy chairs at her gym she tells me. You're there to workout, not flake out. Oh, I will flake out wherever and whenever I feel the need. I am not too proud to sit on the floor!

May 14, 2014

Trigger Happy! More on Healthy Habit Automation

photo: wikipedia

Regular readers may recall that I've recently begun experimenting with healthy habit "triggers."

What I mean by that is: I've been trying to create simple pairings between external stimuli and desired actions that will eventually, I hope, become so automatic that I don't even have to think about them. Sort of like the way I say "Yes please!" whenever I hear the trigger "would you like another piece of cake, Crabby?"

Only, um, perhaps a little healthier than that.

Well, the experiment continues, employing a brand new sneaky method that I stole from a clever reader who suggested it in the last post.  Wanna hear an update?

May 12, 2014

Walking Meditation Tips--For People Who Suck at Meditation

Walking meditation is a wonderful way to combine both mental and physical exercise, allowing you to kill two birds with one stone.  (Let's just leave aside the question of why you want two dead birds in the first place).

Walking is also an especially accessible route to meditation for people like me, those folks with neurotic overactive thinky brains who struggle with more traditional forms. It's a great alternative method for achieving a lovely trancey surreal experience, and hell, if it doesn't work, at least you've gotten some exercise. 

But if you've looked into it, traditional instructions for walking meditation seem to be aimed at people who already like to meditate. For me, they manage to take a means of exercise that isn't too odious in itself, and turn it into tedious effortful drudgery. 

However, by wandering around totally ignoring traditional methods and just making shit up, I've stumbled on much more entertaining ways to do walking meditations. Which, once I got past the first page or so of google searches, I discovered I didn't actually invent, but whatever.

Yet I'm so not an expert at this stuff, who am I to be giving advice?  You should probably ignore it. Plus,  as you might imagine, some of my variations are quite a bit weirder than what you'll find elsewhere.

May 07, 2014

Let's all Shout for Trout!

trout image
image: wikipedia

Ok, so that's maybe not quite as catchy as the "we all scream for ice cream" thing.

But here's the thing: trout is a pretty darn awesome fish, for reasons I will bore you with below.

Usually my main gripe with it is that it's hard to find in my 'hood and can be really expensive, but I've been pleased to see it at Trader Joes lately.  And while it's not cheap (about $9 a pound), it's been cleaned up and made into nice neat fillets.

trout from tj's

So, no guts or tiny bones or sad dead judgemental fish eyes staring at you creeping you out!

Anyway, why am I so taken with trout?

May 05, 2014

Goal Support Post: Go Inside!

photo: ca_heckler

By Crabby McSlacker

Nah, I'm not talking about "going inside" as opposed to "going outdoors."

And I'm certainly not advocating that you get even more virtuous shit done within the confines of your homes or offices or gyms.

Or combinations thereof...

In fact, this time of year, outside is probably the place to be! Well, at least if your weather conditions and allergies and schedules permit.  So this is more about going psychologically "inside" versus "outside," at least in terms of how you frame goals or experience your life.

This is also one of those periodic Goal Support posts, where the lovely people who stop by here are sometimes kind enough to check in with what they're up to lately, as well as to offer encouragement to others by replying to comments.

Anyway, here are a couple weird thoughts on the whys and hows of "going inside"... in Q & A format 'cause why the heck not? Let's pretend that someone actually stayed awake long enough to ask a few Q's for me to A.

May 02, 2014

Tasty Links

By Crabby McSlacker

Remember I said I was gonna do these link round-ups more often?  Yeah, well, vacation blah blah blah whatever.  I'm lazy and easily distracted, let's not sugar-coat it.

Similarly, you may have noticed the Monthly-Goal-Support-or-Whatever-We're-Going-to-Call-It Post went AWOL in April. Fear not, it will be back soon--this coming Monday I'm thinking.  I want to find out how y'all are doing in your various pursuits.

So, in no particular order, and lacking any sort of coherent theme, here's some cool stuff you might want to check out 'round the web!

May 01, 2014

Three Annoying Questions: for Caitlin of Fit and Feminist

Interview By Crabby McSlacker

So it's time once again for "Three Annoying Questions!" As you may recall, periodically Crabby likes to harass her favorite bloggers and make them answer difficult or overly personal questions.

This episode, I'm really psyched to get to interview Caitlin Constantine of Fit and Feminist. Those of you who follow her already are aware of how insightful and fun and kick-ass she is, but for those of you who aren't regulars, you need to check her out!

Caitlin totally rocked this with thoughtful honest answers and got me thinking all kinds of Big Philosophical Thoughts about blogging and feminism and stuff, and totally agreeing that jellyfish are assholes.  

Anyway, so here are the 3 Annoying questions, please welcome Caitlin and enjoy!