January 16, 2017

Resistance Training: Some Helpful Resources

image: pixabay

By Crabby McSlacker

So yeah, wary Cranky Fitness readers may be wondering, which kind of "resistance" are we talking about here?

The kind that has you flexing your quads and glutes and lats and pecs? Or the kind that has you gathering in the streets and haranguing politicians and otherwise causing a ruckus?

The answer is: both!

January 10, 2017

What's the Catch? Barramundi: Go Buy Some Damnit

By Crabby McSlacker

Tired of long-ass blog posts that take forever to get to the point?  Well hey, it's a new year, and mixing things up is good, so I thought I'd try something different for a change: succinctness!

So here are your five most important takeaways about barramundi, I fish I have come to love, brought to you with 95% less meandering.

1. Barramundi is a safe and extremely nutritious protein source, with a hefty dose of the good kind of fat, omega 3. (Unlike Tilapia which is annoyingly popular despite being a really crappy choice nutritionally). It also has other good fish nutrients like vitamin D and potassium. Unlike some farmed fishies, the barramudi (barramundies?) don't get pumped up with hormones, colorants, or antibiotics, plus they have no detectable mercury, PCBs, or other contaminants. Yay!

January 01, 2017

Keeping Healthy New Year's Resolutions: Five Tips!

image found here, where you can actually purchase them.

By Crabby McSlacker

Okay, first some reassurance: that's a visual pun up there, not a how-to photo. I'm not suggesting you sever any fingertips in order to make your New Year's resolutions easier to keep. Although come to think of it, I'd reach for far fewer Sees candies if I...

No. I'm kidding. Let me go on record as Not in Favor of Digital Amputation as a Weight Loss Aid. In these increasingly imbecilic times, one can't take anything for granted.

Anyway, the usual caveats:

So, are we ready?

December 23, 2016

Appreciating the Holidays during the Shittiest Year Ever

By Crabby McSlacker

So the holiday season has arrived, and traditionally this is a time for joy and togetherness. Yet for many of us, this year hardly seems time for celebration.

And I know, this is a health blog, not a political blog. But I feel like I have to acknowledge the elephant in the room---the scary mean orange elephant, the angry beast who defeated the diligent, highly qualified donkey and now rules the world.

These are scary times. It feels too fake and weird to just pretend everything is normal.

We have a president-elect gearing up to destroy our democracy. Not out of malice or twisted ideology. No, Trump is not some epic villain for the ages with a sinister grand plan--he's just arrogant. Ignorant. Entitled. Vindictive. Uninhibited. Mendacious. Greedy. Narcissistic.

Every day comes some fresh outrage, something that would have, in times past, shocked the populace, made bold headlines, brought down administrations. Yet there are never any repercussions. Well, we get funny SNL skits and Samantha Bee rants and Facebook petitions. They makes us feel better momentarily, but we're still facing the same horrific reality a few minutes later.

Am I offending some of you pro-Trump people out there? I'm sorry.  But I'm offended you elected this racist, sexist, irrational, authoritarian, hate-filled monster to lead our country.

But hey, if you supported Trump and are somehow still willing to put up with my occasional rants, you are still most welcome here!

So what's the health angle here?  It's this: bazillions of studies have shown that feelings of gratitude and appreciation are good for us. Cultivating appreciation, even in the midst of political shitstorms, improves our physical and mental health, and makes us far less likely to be assholes to those around us.

So I thought I'd go first:  what are a few things that I'm especially appreciating this year as the holidays roll around?

December 12, 2016

Healthy Holiday Gifts: Some Thoughts. Because What the Hell.

Portable music players: always a classic!
photo: xray delta one

By Crabby McSlacker

Holy guacamole, it's been a long time since I've posted on this blog. I kinda thought I might be done forever.

But here I am again! I'm not entirely sure why, it just felt like time to reconnect. And if anyone is actually still out there, it would be lovely to touch base with y'all again. My guess is, posting will still be quite sporadic, but who knows?

One problem with not posting for a long time: there are a million shlabillion gerbzillion things that have piled up in my head that I feel like I should talk about. (Okay, perhaps my grasp of the nomenclature used in advanced mathematics is a little tenuous).  Yet none of them seem all that profound when I start to write about them. And I hate to just throw a bunch of travel pictures at you, which is often my default when I've been blogslacking for extended periods of time. But I do promise an update at some point, if blogging becomes a Thing again.

So in my first attempt at a post, I somehow got sideswiped by a bitter, fury-fueled rant about the horror of our recent elections. I couldn't help it. And I'm not sorry I went through the exercise: like an episode of violent vomiting when stomach flu strikes, it actually made me feel a little better afterward. But I realized that a screeching protest about the surreal state we find ourselves in as a nation might not the best way to begin again after a long hiatus. Especially for a health and fitness blog.

Instead, what makes for a more innocuous, google-friendly, and unvomitlike fresh start than a blog post topic like:

Healthy Holiday Gifts!

(And ok, there's a timing reason for this too:  there's a BIG SALE on one idea that ENDS TODAY. (Although there is still time for a discount, just not as big.)