Photo: Hypervocal.com 

Did you make some hopeful New Year's Resolutions a few weeks back? Or, if you're not the resolution sort, have you set some worthy "self-improvement" goals in your sights?

Awesome!  So.... how's that going?

Perhaps you're exceeding your wildest dreams of success, or at least you're pretty well on track to be one of the meager 12% who actually keep New Years Resolutions.  If so, way to go, you rock!

But if you've already abandoned ship on your promises to yourself, or are in danger of doing so soon... hang on--don't give up just yet.  Some simple suggestions may help you get right back on track again, or at least may remind you that you have company in any revolution-related feelings of lameness you're experiencing.

Plus, we've got a rather odd double-giveaway plus Big Discount going this week, with no U.S. mailing address required!

But before we get to Fixing Broken New Years Resolutions bit, here's some giveaway info:

The Weird Prizes:

1. A Handy Portable Exercise Gizmo! 

And yes, it's a slightly-used but not-smelly-or-gross-or-anything demonstration model of a Jungle Gym XT suspension training system that would otherwise cost about a hundred bucks.  I already had a TRX when I did the review, so I haven't needed to use it myself.  I will clean and disinfect the handles and clumsily cram the thingy back into its undersized box with the accompanying dvd and mail it to one randomly chosen winner--and since it's coming from me personally, international folks can enter too!

2.  A package of 4 free Life Coaching sessions (plus an hour long intake) valued at $275 by a Life and Wellness coach we just happen to know!

 Hey There!

One winner will be randomly chosen, and again, no U.S. address is required.  Sessions can be by cell phone, video skype call, or email, and would begin starting in March, to enable the winner a chance to fill out a form and sign a long-ass coaching contract, as well as to give the Coach a chance to skip town in late February for a family vacation.

I've been meaning to offer a 2012 coaching giveaway to Cranky Fitness readers, because they make the most awesome clients, and post-resolution season seemed as good a time as any!

3. Limited time 50% off life coaching discount:

For folks who sign up, get their forms in, and pay for a package before March 1, the Cranky Fitness 25% off discount of regular Life Coaching Rates will be increased to 50% off. (After March 1 it's back to 25% off, which is still a pretty darn good deal if you google around and compare prices. Which is sometimes a challenge because many coaches won't tell you upfront how much it's gonna cost!)

And if you get excited about the discount, sign up and pay and it turns out you win the giveaway?  No worries, your fee will be refunded to you.

Giveaway Instructions:

To enter the drawing for the suspension trainer, just leave a comment here on this post about anything in hell you feel like talking about.

To enter the drawing for the free life coaching, go to the Broken New Years Resolution post over at LiveaLittleCoaching.com and leave a comment there saying something vaguely related to resolutions or self-improvement goals. Note: if you want to leave a comment there but don't want any life coaching, you can always politely decline should you win! No need to explain exactly how unwelcome you'd find the prospect of winning in the comment itself unless you just can't help it.

Important Deadline: Drawings for both prizes will take place in about a week, and you'll have until the end of the day Friday February 17th to claim your prize.

Good luck, and hope you all are kicking resolution ass!

Read more...

Hint: it comes from here.

Yes, this is indeed another review/giveaway post. But I realize it might take a little bit of explaining to get you all pumped up to win a 12 week supply of...

Pine bark pills.

But wait, don't go away!  These are "French Maritime" pine bark capsules! Doesn't that sound a bit more jaunty? Picture 'em sauntering around in sailor suits eating croissants and smoking Gauloises if that makes them sound more intriguing.

Does that help?
(Image swiped from La Maison Boheme)

Actually, there's a fair amount of research that supports a long list of potential health and cosmetic benefits for pine bark supplements. Part of the reason I took on this review/giveaway is that I was greedy to try some free for myself.

So, are you curious about what pycnogenol does, why it's awesome, and how you can win some? (And folks from Canada and Europe are eligible to win too for a change!)

I got a nifty press kit with all kinds of research on the benefits of pycnogenol, and the studies look pretty darn official and persuasive. But the problem? You'd have to come over to my house to read them yourself. I was hoping to link to the research library over at the pycnogneol website, because there's no way in hell I'm retyping a whole thick stack of studies.  But guess what?  It seems to be undergoing construction and making it extremely hard for lazy bloggers to just link over.

But fortunately, if you want some sciencey citations, the stodgy government National Institutes of Health site MedlinePlus also has an impressive list of possible pycnogenol health benefits.

But what fun is that?  How about instead you take a little informative quiz?

1. What is Pycnogenol?

a) A super antioxidant, natural anti-inflammatory which selectively binds to collagen and elastin and aids in the production of endothelial nitric oxide which helps to vasodilate blood vessels;

b) A potent recreational drug which will cause you to see purple iguanas crawling out of people's ears;

c) A placebo made of powdered Kool-Aid and pine scented air-freshener as an elaborate prank to fool greedy unsuspecting health bloggers; or

d) A large anal suppository noted for its ability to raise your speaking and singing voice 3 octaves higher.

2. Which one of the following health or cosmetic benefits is Pycnogenol supplementation NOT associated with in at least some study or other?

a) Asthma and allergy relief;
b) Increasing skin elasticity, smoothness and wrinkle reduction;
c) Lowering blood pressure;
d) Improvements in cardiovascular health;
e) Reducing symptoms of osteoarthritis;
f) Improved cognitive function;
g) Reducing pelvic pain and menstrual disorders;
h) Fighting diabetes;
i) Lowering inflammation;
j) Reducing tinnitus (ringing in the ears);
k) Fighting varicose veins;
l) Increasing athletic endurance;
m) Enabling time travel up to 500 years forwards or backwards;
n) Reducing circulation problems like leg pain and fluid retention;
o) Treating retinal disease;
p) Improving joint health.

3. Possible Side Effects of Pycnogenol May Include:

a) the sudden appearance of extra toes or fingers;
b) a boost to the immune system, which can be problematic for auto-immune disorders; dizziness; gut problems; headache; and mouth ulcers;
c)  a French accent;
d)  invisibility.

Answers: 1: a; 2: m; and 3: b... but you knew that!

What Did Crabby Notice Most From Trying Pycnogenol for 12 weeks?

It was actually first pitched as a way to "maintain beautiful skin from the inside out." Which sort of assumes you have beautiful skin to maintain in the first place. Sadly, after 5 decades of playing out in the sun, that's not what I'm starting with. Can't say I noticed a huge difference, but maybe a bit more color? I will spare you before and after photos, mostly because I forgot to take any.

However, during the testing period I found it noticeably easier and easier to extend the duration of my cardio workouts, even at a challenging intensity! The whole "increasing athletic endurance" was definitely true in my case. Was it due to the pycnogenol or some other aspect of my ever-changing routine? I have to confess I was not the least scientific about my personal experimentation. During the same period I also switched up my method of HIIT, started eating nutritional yeast, discovered mushroom powder, and had a bikini wax. So it remains unclear the exact cause of my newfound ability to dance around like an absolute ass on the elliptical machine for twice as long. But I'm superstitious enough not to want to abandon the pycnogenol at this point.

And reading the research, there were so many potential health benefits to this stuff and no side effects that were relevant to me, so it seemed a reasonable thing to keep taking just on general principle. Plus it's not outrageously expensive or anything.

So, would you like to win some stuff that might get you glowy skin, super-endurance, relief from a bunch of nagging health problems? Just leave a comment below! I'll announce the random winner in a week. Be sure to check back before the end of the day Wednesday Feb 15th to claim your prize or a new random drawing will be held.


Do you guys have any favorite supplements? Or do you try to get everything you need from your healthy diet?

Read more...

Yep, we have a new winner of the HUMAN snack-pack and t-shirt giveaway!

Plus there's also a micro-post about snacking.  Because the funny thing about snacking... even after you've said you're done, finished, that's absolute it for now?  Somehow two minutes later you're all "well, hell, just one more..."

And what happened to the big ol' post I was going to do on an important, sensible, and much-loathed medical screening procedure I had done last week? Well, still waiting for lab results, and somehow it seemed like its asking for trouble to write the whole thing without knowing what the biopsy's gonna say. So stay tuned and there'll be a post later on that--because no doubt you are all just dying to know what Crabby has hidden up her... um, sleeve!  Her blogging sleeve, yeah, that's it. There might be text and pictures and videos, who knows?

But First Off, Our Re-Giveaway Winner:

The new winner is Azusmom! And I'm always psyched when the RNG gets around to recognizing long-time Cranky Fitness commenters. Congrats, Azusmom, and please check in to claim your prize before the end of day Friday, or at this point I'll just arbitrarily assign a new re-re-giveaway winner.


Got a Favorite Snack that Frightens Bystanders?

Anyone else have some go-to snacks that seem to make those around you nervous? The more new health food novelties I experiment with (kale chips? Bright orange nutritional yeast sprinkled on everything?) the more I'm discovering a great side benefit: I can freely offer to share with those around me, and no one takes me up on it!

My new favorite, which I mentioned last time, is a seaweed snack that the sinister folks at Trader Joes are seducing innocent snackers with.

I was cheerfully oblivious for many years, because I've never been a sushi fan and thought "seaweed? No way!"

And the first time I tried one of these seaweed snacks, I almost spit it out.  Eww!  It tastes fishy, what a vile and disagreeable thing for a cracker to do! Who would eat these on purpose? That's... hmm, hang on... because it seems there is this also a nice little oily salty crunchy action going on behind the fish taste.... Maybe not so gross? Perhaps one more... No, Eww there's the fish again! Aack! But wait... mmm, oil and salt, yumm!

By the end of the first pack, sadly, I was hooked.  Now, damn it, I am forced to visit Trader Joe's on an ever-escalating schedule. Because if I tried to buy a week, or god forbid, a month's, supply... I'd need a forklift and a dumptruck and it's hard to find parking for 'em in the crowded TJ's lot.

However, it could be worse: as it happens, there are lots of nifty seaweed health benefits, since sea vegetables have "anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer, anticoagulant, antithrombotic, and antiviral properties."

And despite the lovely oily/salty flavor, the nutritional info isn't too horrible at all:

Hate Me For Going On and On About Trader Joes 'Cause You Don't Have One?


Doesn't it suck that we can have a McDonalds on every freakin' corner throughout the world, and yet getting to your nearest Trader Joe's may require you to drive for 47 hours and cross through several large red states on your way?  Well, there are other brands of seaweed snacks at Asian grocery stores and health food places. And I'm too much of a novice to have investigated other sea vegetables, or even tried the bit sheets of nori that aren't conveniently marketed and displayed as snacks. But I suspect these may be options as well.

Anyone else know of any Scary Snacks, either that you or others around you fear? Or any thoughts on anything at all?

Read more...

Should we worry that this is the design on a Kids Extra Small T-shirt?

Photo: cafe press

Yep, it's time for one of those weird posts with bunch of miscellaneous stuff in it. And for absolutely no reason at all, it seems a good week to pick on Texas.  Of course we apologize in advance to all of the awesome folks who live in Texas, like Mizfit! (Though does Austin really count as Texas?)

So, want to find out how Texas college kids are getting high these days, or why the New York Times is writing about pee, or perhaps where you might be able to score some free tea? 

Join me for another lazy link roundup!

First up, do you think women who compete in World Championship amateur boxing events should have to wear skirts in order to differentiate them from men? Head over to Fit and Feminist for the full scoop and prepare to get steamed if you think that's nuts.

Everyone knows that tea has health benefits, and there's a great Fusion tea giveaway going on over at Desert Raven Art.  (And if you haven't entered yet, don't forget the Cranky Fitness Healthy Snack and T-shirt Re-Giveaway either!)

Looking for more protein in your desserts?  Why the Fitfluential folks love their balls.

Looks like a fun read: The Twitter Diet, by Rebecca Regnier from Does this Blog Make Us Look Fat? Not only does it look to be a cool approach to getting support during weight loss, it explains all about Twitter for those of us who just can't seem to get the hang of it! Definitely on my "to-read" list. Plus, it's in a nice affordable ebook format.

Want the scoop on a challenging pilates core workout you can do in a small space like a dorm room?  College Candy has you covered!  And they rounded up this excellent video tutorial with plenty of tips on proper form:




And to finally answer the Texas Teaser question: A recent survey revealed that 1 in 7 Texas college kids admitted to playing "the choking game" to get high. Sure, it's potentially lethal, but at least it's cheap! (Seriously, Texans?)


Random Stuff Copied From My Twitter Stream:

My favorite kind of study: Moderate red wine drinking doesn't seem to increase breast cancer risk. Cheers!

Except for mini desserts, love this list. I don't do anything "mini." RT @blogomomma: 2012's Trendiest Health Foods.

WTF? After tons of research saying "boost your Vitamin D levels," this one claims the low end of normal is best.

Study suggests natural transfats in meat and dairy don't have same bad effects as industrial ones.

Owning a car or tv raises heart attack risk:  And yeah, its a global study. In the US, people have tvs IN their cars.

More memory boosters? B vitamins and folic acid. But isn't there a reason B supps are bad? @#$% I CAN'T REMEMBER!

"Coming Soon, Memory Boosting Pill"  Can't come soon enough for me! But I ain't holding my breath. #soundslikehype

Scientists discover memory loss starts by the 40's.  Hell they coulda saved the $$ and just asked me! #livingproof

Calcium + Vitamin D Supps may help weightloss: All this: calcium is good! No wait... calcium is bad! stuff confuses me.

I use my fingers, otherwise too many typos! RT @blogomomma: Should You Write with Your Head or Your Heart?

Good news for boomers who occasionally smoked pot: they scored a bit BETTER than non-users on cognitive tests.

Get more protein to keep from losing muscle, but extra protein won't "trick" body into shedding fat:

High blood levels of omega-3's, vitamins B, C, D and E may strengthen older brains; high transfats lead to crappy cognition.

Jane Brody explores the fascincating subject of: pee.  Apparently lots of clues to health issues in urine.

Random reminder:  if you've got a great link you'd like to see featured in this round-up, and aren't fussy about how long it might take to appear, please email or leave it in the comments!

And finally, this is totally irrelevant to anything above, but it cracked me up.  Spotted by our pal Leah on the interwebs:

Attempt at photo credit: Somewhere on Facebook

Any thoughts on anything above or on something totally unrelated?  Anyone know what happens to people who Mess With Texas?

Read more...

 All Photos by the clever Lobster

You know those inspiring photo-bloggers like Hilary at The Smitten Image who go out into the world, capture beautiful moments, and string them together with graceful prose? Not only do you get to enjoy stunning images of nature, but there's usually some sort of subtle but powerful observation about hope, or resilience, or the transience of life or some other deep topic.

Here at Cranky Fitness, we're not so highbrow.

Having just come back from a camping trip, I've been scratching my head trying to come up with some justification to post pictures, and nothing Deep is coming to mind.  Somehow "hey, look at me out in the desert with the Lobster having a great time!" doesn't sound all that health-related, high-minded, or helpful.  Especially given that some of you may be facing sleet, snow, rain, and/or locusts and plague, and may not be in the mood for our antics in the desert.

But, well, theme, schmeme, I've got a few pics to put up! And heck, you may want to stick around anyway for the Healthy Snack Re-Giveaway. Just leave a comment below if you've got a U.S. mailing address and would like to win a cute T-Shirt and Snack Assortment from the Human Vending Machine folks.  Last weeks' winner didn't check back in in time to claim her prize, so I'll redraw from this weeks comments.

OK, so some random thoughts and pictures...

Things You Should Take With You To Go Camping:

Let's see, you definitely need a tent, some sleeping bags, backpacks, camp stove, water purifier, flashlights....

Hell no, you certainly don't! Not if you're spoiled and middle-aged. You just need this:

Fran the Van Returns!

And this:

The Lobster, Most Awesome Human Ever
And Expert at Doing All That Is Useful

As a younger person, I did plenty of the backpacking, hitchhiking, primitive camping thing.  And while I still think it's a great character-building experience, I've got all the character I need now, thank you very much!  Give me a bed, an indoor toilet, a tasty grilled steak (grassfed, organic, humanely raised, and shockingly expensive), a chilled bottle of champagne, and a cup of hot coffee in the morning that I don't have to rub two sticks together to produce.

Roughing It Is Overrated.

Things That Seem Like Bad Things Can Be Good Things:

So the above photo is cheating, because it's from a previous trip in which we encountered the dreaded news that the campground was full. However, like our detour to Bisbee, Arizona, the Full Campground sign that greeted us this time was really a blessing in disguise. We found out from the friendly folks at the visitors center that we could just park off-road until we needed hook-ups, and they sent us to a lovely spot with a nice view that was Free Free Free Free!

Being Out in Nature is Awesome Even if It's Not Your Favorite Kind of Nature.

Confession: neither of us are huge fans of your basic garden-variety desert landscape. We prefer mountains, coasts, forests, streams, or spectacular formations of red rocks like in Bryce, Zion, or Sedona.

But I know many of you totally dig the subtle beauty of a landscape not burdened with the distraction of lush green pretty things, or pretty much any color at all except for two minutes or so in spring when the wildflowers are out.

Well, Gray and Brown are Colors Too.  Sort Of.

Yet... we're here in San Diego, and there's a desert close by, and so we went.  And we had some really enjoyable hikes! We weren't quite quick enough with the camera, but we saw dozens of jack rabbits with big goofy ears, and we almost literally ran into some big horn sheep when we came around a corner and they were standing there staring at us.  Oddly enough, they had really big horns.

And there was flora as well as fauna!  Fortunately cactus are not as speedy as jack rabbits or big horn sheep so the Lobster managed to catch one or two.

Perhaps not the best place to take a seat.

Oh, and check this out: On our last night, The Lobster not only grilled us up our lovely steaks, she also managed to generate some smoke during the process that appears to be taking over the entire universe.  Are your eyes itching right now?  Sorry, but it was worth it for that delicious dinner!

Quick Quiz! Can you guess what this next series of 4 photos illustrates?

a.  Trailaerobic Functional Conditioning!  It's the next fitness craze I was going to announce that's going to make me a ton of money once I put out a DVD series.  It requires no equipment at all, just access to a handy desert rock-strewn trail.  And heck, so what if you live in, say, Anchorage or Saskatoon or Pittsburgh? What's a little airfare and RV rental when your fitness is at stake?! Operators are standing by.

b.  A Cautionary Tale: What happens when you wake up feeling insanely energetic, proceed to drink way too much coffee anyway, hit the trail, get amped up listening to your favorite dj's awesome mp3 podcast...yet need to stick close to a more sensible hiking partner due to mountain lion warnings?  You end up acting like a complete asshole on the trail and dancing around, skipping, improvising various workout moves, and hoping the mountain lions are too freaked out by your craziness to come snooping around.

c.  Crabby Has Been Trying Hard To Get Back In Shape And Is Vain And Superficial Enough to Want to Show Off a Little.  The supposed need for some trail-side workout pictures for a blog post... was it just a subconscious excuse to lift something on camera before my newly acquired muscle definition is gone again?  Following surgery and various injuries, I couldn't hit the gym for quite a long time. Then I started dealing with some post-menopausal weight gain. So I started working out harder and even began counting calories.  Lately it seems my efforts have finally started to pay off, and I'm feeling strangely fit, healthy, and energetic.  Life being what it is, it probably won't be long before something else derails me or I get lazy, so I wanted to get something on camera ASAP!

The answer?  All of the Above!

And now on to the Re-Giveaway:

If you've got a U.S. mailing address, just leave a comment on this post and I'll re-draw end of day Wednesday, January 25th.  And be sure to check back before the end of the day Sunday the 29th to claim your prize!


Anyone else got any thoughts on mini-vacations, hiking, camping, being superficial, healthy vending machine snacks, feeling energetic, or life in general?  It's all good!

Read more...