Random: poetry, sex, & journalists

Photo: DerrickT

This blog covers subjects of fitness
But sometimes, as God is my witness,
We need to be random
And share with the fandom
Some studies that are mostly hit/miss

What? Why're you looking at me like that? Poetry is educational. It's classy. Makes us look like we're into culture and all that stuff.

I know we joke about how a study is published and then the next week another study contradicts it, but in real life it usually takes longer than a week. Not this time.

According to one study, Britain is going to be a lot less crowded to visit in the future. British people are too lazy for sex.

I mean, we're talking seriously lazy. "One in six say that if the remote control was broken, they would prefer to watch a TV program they didn't like rather than get up to change the channel...."


And yes, this study is related to fitness. "More than half (58 per cent) ... blamed their barren sex lives on a lack of fitness."


Seems straightforward enough. Except...

The week after this study came out, it was followed up by this one:

The British birth rate is on the increase. "The UK population grew more in 2008 than at any time since 1962." How they're managing that when they're too lazy to have sex would make an interesting study in itself.

Um... this method doesn't look like much fun, judging by her expression...

All right, so half of the increased births were to women "born overseas, but living in the UK." Even so, if they're living in Britain, aren't they affected by the environment they're living in? According to the first study, Glasgow was "Britain's most slothful city, with 75 per cent of people admitting they don't get enough exercise, followed by Birmingham and Southampton in joint second place with 67 per cent admitting their laziness."

If you're surrounded by that many lazy bums, it's going to rub off. If nothing else, it's an environment geared toward people driving cars rather than walking, living in buildings with easily accessible elevators and dingy, hard-to-find stairs, being surrounded by fast food and slow traffic. Besides which, there have been enough studies out there demonstrating that hanging around obese people will increase your chances of gaining weight. One study, published in the New England Journal of Medicine, "found that a mutual friend becoming obese correlated with a 171 percent increase in the probability of obesity in the other friend."

No, as I see it, the second study is 180 degrees from the first. The women being 'from overseas' isn't really an important enough factor. We tend to pick up on the behavior of those around us.

Photo: rumpleteaser

I know I tend to sound off a lot about journalists, but sometimes it's hard not to. For example, a Bangladesh newspaper picked up on an article in an American publication, which featured an interview with Neil Armstrong confirming that the Moon Landing was a hoax. Only problem? It wasn't a real story. It was a hoax. (I mean the story was a hoax. A hoax of a hoax, if that makes any kind of sense.)

This is the part that got me. The journalists' defense? "We thought it was true so we printed it without checking. We didn't know The Onion was not a real news site."

Okay, let me make this clear. Just because The Onion makes incredible sense sometimes Does Not mean it's real, 'k?



Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size


Okay, one last weird story. I realize everybody's getting more lawsuit-happy these days, but even so...

Legal case against God dismissed
A US judge has thrown out a case against God, ruling that because the defendant has no address, legal papers cannot be served.


Oooooookay. I'm not even going to try to relate that one to health or fitness.

I survived a 5k!

Out of the way! Runners coming through!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/leppre/ / CC BY-ND 2.0

People who run 5ks are scary:

• They wear the right sort of special running clothing.
• They run in packs (okay they call them running groups, but I have dark suspicions that these are really a type of gang activity, the sort that we've all been warned about)
• They are so 'into' their gang running group that they show up to a 5k wearing a shirt with the team logo, socks with the team logo, and even skin with the team logo. (One woman had their logo tattooed into her calf.)

• Oh yeah, they are also into wearing the appropriate footwear.

Unlike a certain blogger who shall remain nameless, who forgot her "running" shoes in the trunk of her car and only realized her mistake after she and her friend showed up at the start of the race. Yes, I was the only person at the place who was wearing her ordinary walking-in-the-street shoes.

No, not street walking shoes...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/stockingvixen/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

As it happens, I was with a friend who really wanted to do this 5k but was not in shape for anything but walking. I had planned to stay with her during the walk anyway. It was just the Sticking Out Like an Idiot aspect of the matter that bugged me.

There's another scary thing -- these people were all there to race.

See? They're all going so fast everything's a blur!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/seanosh/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Now, I'm not one of those people who all stand in front and link arms and maybe even sing during a 5k, forcing people to go around them and plug their ears while they pass because the singing is so off-key. I'm cool with people who are faster than I am and who want to go fast. But these people were so damn intent on their racing, warming up and doing little preliminary sprints, that it made me nervous. I slunk around in the back hoping nobody would notice the only person in the place not wearing the right shoes. Bad enough that I was easily and by far the largest person in the place.

You know what? Scary as these runners were, not one of these speed racers gave me any crap, or sniggers, or nasty remarks about not coming dressed for the party. Everyone was cheerful and encouraging. Even the serious speed racers, when they stopped racing, were actually quite nice and friendly.

The only unpleasantness I encountered was when the route took us out of the track area and into the neighboring streets. Usually with a 5k race, as I understand it, streets are marked off, neighbors are warned, and everybody is cool with the brief inconvenience. This time, there was one woman who threaded her SUV down the road swerving left and right around groups of people and finally got so mad she just screamed at a bunch of women with strollers "get out of the damn road!" Aside from that, the good people of Sherwood were fairly friendly.

I was surprised at the number of people who'd brought their dogs along to the 5k, especially as this was a fund raiser for the Cat Adoption Team. I was even more surprised when they held a timed mile after the 5k, and even the people running with dogs made it in under 5 minutes. (Probably these people don't have arthritic old German Shepherds who have trouble even walking a mile, let alone running that far.)

But she's good with The Sad Look.

Of course, the best part was when we got to the end of the 5k. The finish line was on a high school track, with a camera set up at the end of the straightaway. So I persuaded my friend to run with me down the track, resulting in a picture that shows us running, at a 5k, outpacing all those slackers who were walking. This means I can have photographic proof that I ran a 5k. This could come in handy someday, presuming I want to cough up $30 for the picture.

Moral: even if you're not well shod and look a bit odd, runner at a 5k won't bite. Even if you aren't wearing appropriate shoes.

Next time, I'll be better prepared.

I have seen the light!

Any other social mistakes to avoid when you're doing a race? I've got: don't block the faster runners, wear the right shoes, get a tattoo, don't argue with the cranky lady driving a car... any others?

Yes, I know... some people can carry off a tattoo...

But can he do a 5k in walking shoes?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/twilight-foxdie/ / CC BY 2.0