Carpe Diet! The Recession Diet, Cranky Fitness style

You know that phrase, dance as if nobody's watching?


I've updated it for today: Live as if you've already been laid off.

After reading the daily news, I started thinking what I would do if Crabby laid me off. For starters, I would go 100% vegetarian, grow my own lettuce and kale and things like that.

Then I thought -- why shouldn't I start doing this already? Apparently living as if you were laid off is becoming quite the In trend-du-season. There's even been a catchy name coined for people who do this: Recessionistas. Wiktionary defines this term as "who is able to stick to a tight budget while still managing to dress stylishly."


If I were laid off, I like to think that I'd read a lot of finance blogs, like The Simple Dollar for tips on how to cut back on expenses. Stop using my car to get about -- bicycle, walk, or take the train to get places. I'd read the Escape from Cubicle Nation blog to get enthusiasm for finding my ideal job. I'd eat lots more vegetables.

Hmmmn.
Why don't I do that now? Following this process would be good for me.
I'll save money, feel cheerful about my job, and become extremely healthy.

It's true that were I laid off, I would have a lot more time to do these things. On the other hand, the time to start living this way is while you're still employed.

Why? Because...

Once laid off, based on past experience, I'd probably sink into depression and stay in bed half the time, then go on frantic job searches, forgetting about details such as healthy vegetables and exercise.

Then I'd sit by the phone biting my nails rather than something useful like washing the floor, or polishing the door or trying to ignore some other bore chore. Probably start writing paragraphs that rhymed for no readily apparent reason.

So I figure this is the time to seize the moment. Carpe Diet. Make it a habit while I can. If nothing else, focusing my attention on living this way will take my mind off the daily news. (And does anyone else think maybe they should go on a News diet, just to clean the mind out?)

Judging by what's out there in Internet land, everybody's thinking along similar lines.

The BBC did a video report on the new Recession diet.
[Text for the video-impaired: everybody's eating at McDonald's these days, because it's cheaper.]

Diet Blog wrote about getting a recession-proof body.

Get Rich Slowly wrote about cutting your TV bill in half.

Even the New York Times had a post about their version of the Recession diet -- buying a cheaper brand of marshmallows.

The best advice I saw on this subject was the Recession Diet post written by The Simple Dollar back in April of last year: focus on inexpensive staple foods, keep to your shopping list, "Pay attention to what you like that also happens to be healthy... especially when it's on sale."

Do you have any good Recession Diet tips that you could share? I figure we're all in this together. We can toast that cheaper brand of marshmallows over the fire while we're at it.

Photo credit: mikebaird

Coping with the downturn: a quiz

Guess what? The experts have decided that it's official: we're in a recession.

Gee whiz, really?

Being an economic forecaster is something like being a weatherman reporting on yesterday's news. It's much more interesting to be a blogger, especially on a blog like this one.

How's your economic attitude?

Rather than writing a serious, perceptive, and intellectually challenging post about the economy, it seems like a much better idea to present you with a pop quiz. You've read all about the economy -- if you haven't experienced a layoff, you've probably felt the chill breeze of one pass nearby. Are you prepared, attitudinally, for this economic climate?


The Quiz

A) Your boss calls you into her office and says that you're being downsized.
Your response is to:

1 - Go home, curl up in a dark room, and whimper.

2 - Go out and eat a dozen brownies. (Sugar is good for shock, yeah, that's the ticket.)

3 - Ask her, "Does 'downsize' mean I'll fit into my skinny jeans?"

4 - Put on your running shoes and do a long run... as far from work as possible.


B) The company has decided to enforce time off during Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's holiday weeks. In other words, you're taking the time off whether you have vacation time saved up or not. You decide to:

1 - Buy a bunch of stuff at the mall to cheer yourself up.

2 - Eat your way steadily through all the Thanksgiving leftovers, chocolate Advent calendars, and even aunt Agnes' deadly annual fruitcake. It's wasteful to throw away food, plus there's less clutter that way.

3 - Decide to use the time to finish your Great American Novel (or Great Canadian Novel, Great Peruvian Novel, you get the idea). That way, when the company actually does go under, you'll have a book ready to be published.

4 - Spend the time off working out three or four hours a day. Hey, it worked for Madonna.

C) Because of the relatively low cost of gas, your grandmother, mother-in-law, and your aunt Fanny each expect you to drive to their house for a holiday dinner ... on the same day. Do you:

1 - Forge a doctor's note and try to convince the relatives that you're suffering from lethargy, lumbago, and leprosy.

2 - Drive from one house to the next and eat three full dinners.

3 - Delegate the blame decision and let your significant other decide.

4 - Annoy all three by deciding to do what you want to do instead.


*******************
Add up the numbers to determine how prepared you are, attitude-wise, for the recession.

3 points. You have a sensitive soul, which in this economy means you're probably going to be toast. Need to try the emotional equivalent of boot camp to toughen up -- or else marry a billionaire until the recession is over.

4 - 6 points. Using food as an emotional band-aid is a bad idea when you're supposed to be tightening your belt. Can you try another approach for dealing with turmoil? (And if so, could you let me know what it is?)

7 - 9 points. You have a nice combination of optimism and sneakiness. If you can find a way to throw in some ruthless cunning and guile, you might make it through this downturn relatively unscathed.

10 - 12 points. Given the fact that people who are obese encounter more job discrimination than people who are fit, you're probably in pretty good shape in both senses of the phrase. Of course, you're going to feel pretty silly about all that exercising when the sensitive soul goes out and marries a billionaire, but that's life.

Well, how did you do? Should I do a post on the number of single billionaires in the world today, or do you think you'll get through this okay?

Graphic: Azrainman