September 26, 2008

Gratuitous Beefcake and Perfect Pull-Up Giveaway

Feeling' a little restless and need to burn off some energy? Wouldn't it be nice to have this waiting for you in your basement? Or, heh-heh-heh, your spare bedroom?

Yeah, okay, we don't actually mean Mr. Meaty here. We mean the Perfect Pull-Up, which actually looks pretty cool.

(Oops, did we just scare off all the straight guys? Sorry! But Cranky Fitness feels a responsibility to fight against the inexcusably tiny Beefcake-to-Cheesecake ratio in modern advertising. We're going to try to tip the scales back to 50-50! Do check back in a few thousand years, will you, and see how that's going?)

And Giveaway Skimmers, yes, it's that time.

You know what to do. Details about the nifty fitness product and the entry instructions are below if you're feeling impatient with my disjointed thoughts about pull ups and home fitness equipment and want to skip down. Don't worry; the regulars and I will join you in the comments section in a few minutes--and we promise not to talk about you while you're gone.

Bye now!

(Ha! Think they bought it? Now... since it's just us again...don't you think that the people who actually read Cranky Fitness posts even when they're boring are way COOLER than the folks who just head straight down for a chance to win the goodies?

Ooops... shh... I think I hear a few of them coming back.... Quick, let's distract them!)

Where were we? Oh yeah...


So I know I've blogged about them before, because there seems to be a big movement to get women doing pull-ups. Which is great, in that pull-ups are one of those good combo moves, where you get to work a bunch of muscles at once. We like that!

We just don't think anyone should feel bad if they can't do unassisted pull-ups. Especially since I can't do them yet either. Doing unassisted pull ups should not be some sort of new Fitness Requirement. But for those who can do them: hooray for you! (I'm getting closer, but so far, still need about 20 lbs of assistance. You can bet if I ever get to the point I can do them without help, I'll be posting my first ever Cranky Fitness video and you're all gonna have to pretend you've watched it).

Got a Home Gym?

Since it turns out I actually didn't have much to say about pull-ups that I haven't already said, let's talk about another giveaway related subject: working out at home.

Alas, I don't have a home gym set-up anymore. We used to have one in California, and I miss it a lot.

You know which was the most useful piece of equipment we had in our gym?

(Ours was not this nice)

Yep, the washer. And the dryer. Because it was the need to visit these machines that reminded us of the treadmill and the weights and stability ball, etc.

Did you know that doing laundry goes particularly well with weight training? Especially if you hate weight training and have to coax yourself in to it. Instead of doing it all at once, you can just do a couple of exercises every time you bring down laundry or fold clothes or whatever. Eventually, both the laundry and your strength training are done!

Your sure can't do that at 24 Hour Fitness.

Of course, even if you don't have weights or a perfect pull-up machine or a treadmill, you can still exercise at home.

And the clever folks at Elastic Waist put up this helpful video to explain just how to do it!

About The Perfect Pull-Up:

So the Perfect Pull-Up comes from the same folks who make the Perfect Pushup. You can find more pictures of Mr. Meaty read more about the product at the Perfect Pullup Page of the Perfect Pushup Website.

But if you don't feel like clicking, here's the PR Pitch from the Perfect PullUp People:

It's "a complete system for working over 600 muscles, now available with an ab strap that provides an additional workout for the body core. Additional innovations include rotating handles that allow consumers to do pullups and chinups together for the first time and two swing arms that can be used in three different positions where consumers of any fitness levels can improve from standing row pullups, to Australian pullups, to normal pullups."

The system retails for $99.95 and includes "one adjustable Pullup bar, two swing arms, two rotating handles, ab straps, and a 21-day workout created by founder and former Navy SEAL Alden Mills." It installs into any standard door frame. It's designed to "take one of the toughest basic exercises, the pullup, and makes it doable for consumers of any fitness level."

Sounds awesome!

How To Win A Perfect Pull Up

Sorry, U.S. residents only again, dagnab it. (Although international folks can play for a U.S. friend). Note: if we EVER get a product that the PR firms are willing to have shipped internationally, I think I'm going to have an International Only Giveaway, not that it would make up for all of these.

If you'd like to enter, leave a comment saying why you might want a Perfect Pullup. And of course, we appreciate comments of all kinds, whether they be about Pullups or Beefcake or Fridays or whatever. The entries we like best (for completely arbitrary reasons) will be given triple credit and assigned 3 numbers rather than one.

And I don't usually mention this, but in case you were wondering... folks who leave multiple comments are only entered in these things for their first comment, so no need to worry if you see someone coming back to chat. We like that just fine! (However, if anyone is ever caught coming up with multiple identities to try to fool us into thinking you are different people, you will be banned from winning CF giveaways for life. You will also acquire some pretty nasty karma. But we don't tend to attract that sort of person here, thank goodness).

Contest deadline: Tuesday night, Sept 30th; winner announced Wednesday, Oct 1. If you win, please email to claim your prize by Friday Oct 3rd.

Note: Another post is coming up later today--we owe you quiz answers, and I want to post a bit of a Blog Update.

Oh, and for another cool giveaway, be sure to check out what Leslie's got for you over at The Weighting Game!


  1. pull-ups makes me think potty training.

    I need a life.

  2. Well that was scary - I clicked post a comment and suddenly I had the blue screen! Yikes. At least I got it back.

    Anyway, now if I can remember what I was gonna say before my computer made me piss myself...

    Mizfit, I had the exact same thought. I saw the title and wondered what potty training had to do with fitness. heh.

    Love the beefcake photos but alas I have no upper body strength and no desire to rip my door frame apart trying to gain it so please skip me as part of the drawing.

  3. Ha! Miz...I thought the same thing! "WTF, they're giving away diapers at CF today?!?!?"

  4. Oh no!

    And somehow the combination of gratuitous beefcake and diapers is really NOT appealing.

    I'm hoping there are at least a few non-moms out there who think exercise before potty training. Yikes!

  5. the bag lady said...

    Same here! "I'm a big girl now"
    Mind you, some of us are getting to the "Depends" stage......

    I would only want the prize if the model came with it (get your mind outta the gutter - he looks like he might be handy to have around to do some of the heavy lifting!!!! :)), so it's probably a good thing I'm Canadian and wouldn't be able to win anyway! Of course, it is doubly disappointing. ~~sigh~~

    (Couldn't you at least make him the consolation prize for those of us who aren't US residents?!)
    Oh crap! I forgot to check which account I was signed in under - I really wasn't trying to fool you with multiple comments under different names....honest!

  6. Hey! Who's trying to pretend to be me? Sheesh...

  7. Why might I want this??? Because I am a homeschool mom of 3 that loves to workout, but I don't have extra money to spend on lovely gadgets like this (and the Kettlebell). :(

  8. Oh my gosh! I'm so excited you are doing a giveaway with this!! My husband and I have the perfect pushups and we were talking about getting the perfect pullup for so long. He's training with federal law enforcement and wants to keep up his fitness level (he's horrible at going to the gym and will workout at home) and I, in all honesty, just want to be able to show off and look like I can kick some serious butts with my awesome pullups. I mean, let's get real! What girl wouldn't kill to be able to show off by doing pullups. Sheesh.

    And did I mention that the craptastic sporting good stores near my house DON"T carry it?!?! Shame on them.

    Hoping to win! (fingers crossed!)

  9. Oh, I'd so love to win this. I'm an at-home mom of 3 who can't seem to stretch the budget enough to cover the cost of a gym membership (if only the prices of everything would quit going up!). Finding ways to work out at home can be a challenge, especially since the only room in my house with a DVD player isn't actually big enough to work out in!

    Good morning to all, and congrats to the eventual winner! Now back to lurking...

  10. The last time I did a pull up was in 6th grade......remember those presidential fitness tests....hated them. Loved the nifty patch! Hated being weighed in front of others 6th grade I was 130 and thought I was a house....I was already the same height I am today 5'5 but all my friends were still under 100 lbs.

    Hubby and I could benefit from this ---he loves training upper body and I am very weak up there!

  11. Since it doesn't come with new shoulders and new wrists, there wouldn't be much point to me winning, but I _want_ some way to do weight training at home!

    I'm all for an International Only giveaway. Maybe from International Companies?

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

  12. I do body weight workouts a few times a week! Makes it a lot easier to break into my two story house when I accidental lock myself out!

  13. Thanks so much for the shout-out, Crabby! Your good deed for the day is done!

  14. What a coincidence, I had beefcake for breakfast this morning! Oh, sorry, was that TMI?

    Anyway, I used to have the most awesome strong arms. Then I had kids and gained 50 pounds. Now my arms are mush - no upper body strength whatsoever. I could so totally use this and so could the Beefcake at home.

    Love the Elastic Waist video!!

  15. Oh, please. Like I have 600 muscles.

  16. Umm...can't think of a smart ass comment, but I want one cause I will actually use it.

    As a side note, can we have hottie friday next week, with hotties of the female variety? :)

  17. But wait, how does this work for people at every fitness level? Am I missing something? I can only do pull-ups at the gym, on those things where you set the weight to counterbalance and make it easier. Is this just a bar you dangle from as you futilely try to pull yourself up? I realize I sound really negative and sarcastic here, and while sarcastic might be a reflex, I do not intend to be negative- I honestly am just wondering how this works. Has anyone out there used it?

    P.S. Do not enter me to win, thanks! Do I have to keep putting that in, or will you guys just not let the same person win twice on your own?

  18. LOL! Mizfit - I had the exact same thought!

    I've tried one of those perfect pullup thingies. They were just okay. Def. good for a home gym.

  19. LOVE the new look of the blog! (Yes, super late on this, I know.)

    Crabby, you're kicking my butt at assisted pull-ups, I still need 80lbs of help. Note to self: go to gym today! Thanks for the inspiration :)

  20. I have been working on pull-ups at the gym, but so far I'm doing it with assistance that is about 3/4 of my body weight... guess I am a noob. I'd be able to practice more with this, though. :)

    Chelsey @ Brown Eyed Basics

  21. Hmmm, so if I win, will my husband start looking like the guy in the picture???? JK, like my husband just the way he is. My wimpy arms are another story.....

  22. I would love one of these because I'm sick of hanging pathetically from the bar in public gyms!

  23. I've already got a pull-up bar (birthday present from BK, who also got me a beautiful pair of earrings, but knew I'd have a hissy fit if I didn't get the bar). I can do 1 unassisted pull-up, and I'm trying to work up to 10.

    I find that if I put my feet on my exercise ball, I en up getting a core workout too.

    And a caveat for those looking at the pull-ups bars (not this one, I checked), if it goes over the doorframe, you need to have a sturdy frame, otherwise after a month or so, the pull up bar will rip your doorframe from the wall.

  24. I'm not sure if I have room in my place to put this (I suck, I know), but I'm all for making beefcake Friday a regular addition to CF. Please, can ya, can ya?

  25. Oh, please, please, please can I have it???

    Wanting to be able to do pull-ups again has been my newest goal, but I have no idea how to go about it. I was always one of the few girls who could do them in high school and it always made me feel so kick-ass. Imagine my surprise a few weekends ago when I took my nieces to the playground and discovered that I can't do any. At all. Not even close. I've been wanting this contraption ever since. But, alas--I'm way too broke to buy it (or a gym membership!). I promise I would use it!!

  26. Oh my goodness we seem to have a bunch of 3-point comments already! You guys are great.

    Caro: I think you start with an exercise not shown, the standing row, where you're standing up but leaning back. (The thingy has three different arm positions). Then when you get strong enough doing those, you progress to the "Australian" kind where you're lying down, then eventually you do the regular kind.

    And actually, previous winners are eligible but have the opportunity to decline if they win again. I wouldn't want to penalize someone who won soap or twinkies from getting to win a pair of running shoes or something better later on.

    And Jenn, hmmm, beefcake Fridays... will have to consider!

  27. HEY. If you are going to yell at healthbolt for stealing ideas, perhaps you should stop stealing mine?

    Ill take 4 of those men please. I need backups as I forsee them needed a lot of rest ;)

    Kelly Turner

  28. Wow, what a nice way to start the day (the beefcake, not the thought of exercise).

    I want one because my upper body strength is abysmal. And I have a husband I hope would use it and morph into beefcake man pictured. Yeaaaaa...


  29. Grounded Fitness Kelly:

    Hey, that wasn't me yelling, that was me whining! Every time I'm about to post about something offbeat, I futz around too long and Healthbolt beats me to it. Doesn't keep me from posting, just makes me look profoundly unoriginal.

    And wow, great pull-up post you've got over there.

  30. I've been thinking about buying one of these because I'm ridiculously short. What does being short have to do with pull up bars?

    Well, for one thing, I always look incredibly stupid trying to hop up and grab those bars at the gym. Like a 4 year old trying to reach the cookie jar. So I never do these pull-up things for fear of looking more ridiculous than I already do at the gym.

    As a result, I have no upper body strength, which puts me at a serious disadvantage when zombies take over the earth. Think about it; we're all fleeing and we come to a 5' brick wall that has been built around the city for some reason. Well, most people can just throw themselves over, but not me! I would have to pull myself up and over, which I couldn't do because the people built the pull up bars at the gym too tall and now I have no arm strength.

    Now that I think of it, this is clearly a conspiracy of tall people to make sure they survive the zombie invasion by sacrificing us short people.

  31. I need to move to the US :(

    That said, I'm a bit less into working out at home these days :P Maybe when I have a bigger place again.

  32. I despise the upper body work. Although with Mr. Beefcake coaching me, I might be inspired.

  33. Oooh, I'll take the pullup bar with the beefcake to show me all the exercises...

    Man oh man do I want a pullup bar
    If I had one could I go far
    With toned shoulders and arms
    Could men resist my charms?
    Just please don't my door frame mar.

    ...A drivel-worthy pandering attempt to get 3 points... ;)

  34. Crabby,

    Just wanted to say that it would be a great idea for you to have an International only contest when the right item comes along.

    I do not understand how these companies who want our support, who want us to buy their products continue to insult us by excluding our friends from the contests by virtue of their geography (and postage rates, I guess.)

    Terrie (who lives in New York City)

  35. Um... Dr. J. ... wouldn't it be simpler to get a spare key made? ;)

  36. I'm doing a new workout program called P90X and it's actually very pull-up heavy. I think this would be the perfect thing for me to master the pull ups!!! I need them to help with my arm wings!!!

  37. Oooh lucky Americans! That would be awesome. I use the playground when I want to do some pull ups:)

  38. I've been trying to find a pull up bar that wouldn't destry my door or fall of and leave me wounded...I think I'll look into this one. I haven't done one since I had a gym membership in university. And then...well I did a few, but it was on one of those counterweight machines, so it's not quite as hard.

    Nifty contest. I've been daydreaming about an international contest...:)

  39. I don't think I could do a Pull-Up unless I weighed about 60 which case I'd be that won't work. I like the idea of modified pull-ups in your photo...may have to try them somehow.

    Actually now that i think of it, there is a fancy pull up machine at my gym where you can adjust the weight so you are pulling yourself up, but you can take off 20 or 30 lbs by counter balancing the weigths or something, and get it where it's difficult, but doable. I've done it about 5 times...need to do more. Will make that a weekend goal. Thanks

  40. thats ok. CHARLOTTE and LESLIE FROM WEIGHTING GAME always steal my stuff before i can get it posted. I think they have my computer bugged. or great minds think alike.

    Either way, it makes linking easier.

    Kelly Turner

  41. wow...who knew there were so many different kinds of pull-ups?! (I didn't.) I'd love one of these...the boyfriend and I were talking about pull-ups just a few days ago!

  42. There's Beefcake?

    Beefcake doesn't show up on my computer for some reason :0(

    I don't mind about missing out on perfect pull-ups (I have no interest in trying to do things I will inevitably fail at - like first hurdles for example) but if you could package up some Beefcake and send him international, that would be sweet. Is he wearing tiny shorts? *sigh* It's been a loooong week.


    TA x

  43. When I was in elementary school and we had to do the presidential fitness test, I rocked everything but the mile run (slow) and the flexed arm hang (weak). Now that I am much, much older and, strangely enough faster (I ran the mile in 10 minutes in elementary school - and can totally beat that now), it makes me eager to test my upper body strength again. I've been talking about getting a pull-up bar in our house, because I'm too afraid to try them in the gym (no girly flexed arm hangs for me!)

  44. and, for the record, potty training never entered my mind for a minute. :)

  45. This looks amazing!! We need one of these so badly- my husband currently uses the bars on my treadmill to do his strength workouts as we have nothing else to do them on. Refusing to follow his lead and risk breaking my treadmill (which I actually DO use)the only strength training I do is lifting my children and groceries. I would love to add this to our workout area and have us both be able to get a true and safe workout!

  46. How funny, hubby and I just saw the commercial for this for the first time last night. He likes to pull himself up on the ledge of the doorway in our apt. and it drives me crazy! Could definitely use this....

  47. I'm not sure I want to win this?! I do assisted pull-ups twice a week--I hate them. Oh well, I'm in. It would be like winning broccoli or vitamins--good for me.


  48. Well I have been reading on and off for a little while and this is my first comment. I enjoy your site because of your humor and writing and of course fitness....haven't been on in weeks due to a hectic work schedule.....I would like to win the perfect pullup for many reasons actually. We do have a home gym and it hasn't been used in like 2 months! I want to be able to do a pull up and do them assisted with bands (or should I say did since its been so long!). I think having the perfect pullup would motivate me to get back to my workouts and use them as stress relievers instead of the food that has somehow taken its place.....also I think it would motivate my hubby as he has not worked out in about 4 months! Last time he started a workout program and got motivated was when I bought him the perfect pushup for a birthday gift. He did well for awhile but yeah now that he lost his job, he also lost motivation and we have become stress eaters instead of stress workout people! We need to get back to the workouts and I think that the perfect pull up would get us down there in the home gym trying them out since they are new and getting back to it. Today is my 3rd day of back to healthy eating - yay! Hubby not so much....he needs to get back into workouts to get back into healthy eating! Anyway, thanks for the great site!
    Christi in IN

  49. Oh and you are so right about the laundry and workouts! When I was working out, I would throw a load into the washer and do my weights, then throw it into the drier and do some cardio :> Christi in IN

  50. I don't want a pull-up thing unless I get a straight guy that looks like (ripped) and has THAT many big, strong muscles so he can help me pull up and teach me all those

  51. Gym membership is totally out of the question (especially since Number One Son managed to flood out the car driving home during Hurricane Gustav, and we have to replace the thing). This would be fun and well used by me and the younger children, who climb the doorposts like monkeys and hang from the lintels to do their pull ups.


  52. Hm, I guess I will just have to go find some monkey bars - oh wait, yeah I don't exercise. Oh, but I should. I wonder if it will screw up my shoulder again though, don't want that - back to Yoga!

  53. Why would I need this item? Oh, that's an easy one: To try to get my flabby belly under control. This looks like a nifty little addition to my workout routine!

  54. i still dream of doing a pull-up (well, an unassisted one). brandon can. i am jealous.

    and i can help with coffee to international residents. or tea. that's not really fitness-related though, is it? boo. i tried.

  55. I'm a woman, and I can't do a pull up. never could, still want to. Need some upper body training in my life these days.

  56. I would like to win this so my husband could get a body like the guy in the photo :)

  57. I would be happy with the perfect pull-up OR pull-ups...I'm getting really tired of changing man-sized poop in my 2-year-old's diaper...time to potty train! I've always dreamed of doing a real pull-up!


  58. I'm stuck with pullups. Still working on negatives to try get "a real one" out (although I got to 68 pushups when I tried the 100 pushup challenge!). I think a perfect pullup doohickey might be enticing enough that I would try some negatives every time I passed the doorway...

  59. I have a pull-up tower, but the handles are too wide for me to do a regular pull-up. It is useless to me. The perfect pull-up would be an amazing replacement for this huge tower that takes up 1/4 of my workout space.

  60. i could really use this, i don't have much time to go to the gym so i do my work outs at home, so a new gadget is always fun to have!

  61. I'll take a beefcake and a side of applesauce with my pull-up bars. Thanks!

  62. I would actually USE this thing, and not to hang my wet lingerie. I can do two pullups and have been struggling to get to three. I'd get to try a couple of times a day with this thing, rather than the 3-4 times a week I do them now. I have to wait until the gym's not crowded, 'cause people stare and probably think I'm showing off with my little two pullups.

    And I actually didn't think of potty training. Yep, not a mom.

  63. Please enter me since I'm now up to a whole 2 un-assisted pull-ups at the gym and I, of course, would love to get better at home so when I'm at the gym I can show up as many guys as I can.

  64. I need this because I live in po-dunk nowhere and the closest gym is 25 miles away. I could just exercise at home instead of wasting all that gas!

  65. I have been wanting one of these things for a while now actually.
    I get 'free' access to the gym at my university, but the ONLY machines that are ever free are the cardio ones :/

    Which is why I take my workout classes....

    And there is much less grunting.

    All the guys at the gym seem to think that if you're waiting for them to get off a weight machine/pull up machine you MUST be an admirer or want them to hit on you. *anger*

  66. I haven't done a pull-up in at least 30 years, but would love to give it a try.............:)

  67. A perfect pull-up, for me, would be hanging off that guy's bicep and doing pullups. Or perhaps we could face each other and lock arms for pushups. Or perhaps he could hold me down, and...

    ...oh. I've said too much. :)

  68. Ooooh! Hubs would LOVE this! He gets so excited every time we see the commercial for this contraption. :)

  69. I've never been able to do a pullup, but have always wanted to! I try everytime I go to the gym.

  70. The perfect pull-up would be a welcome addition into a very busy life. I have always tried to find ways to squeeze exercise in here and there. Having three kids, a full-time job (working overtime every week), volunteering on the weekends, it is hard to find time to work out let alone sleep. Being able to have a quick stress reliever in the house will do wonders!

  71. The perfect pull-up would be a welcome addition into a very busy life. I have always tried to find ways to squeeze exercise in here and there. Having three kids, a full-time job (working overtime every week), volunteering on the weekends, it is hard to find time to work out let alone sleep. Being able to have a quick stress reliever in the house will do wonders!

  72. I would loooove to have this because I am getting married in 8 months and want to show off sweet-looking arms. Plus I may or may not have told my fiance that I will have stronger arms than him by Christmas break. (We're competitive, okay?)

  73. Need something that I can take on overnight runs after sitting on RUMP for 12 hours in a BIG RIG, and take to motels room. WDC.


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