Lazy Links--Casual Friday Edition

Photo: Mother Awesome

Yep, it's time again for Crabby's Completely Casual Collection of random health and fitness links!

And for those of you too fatigued or busy to concentrate on big long paragraphs of stuff? No worries! It's Friday, we'll keep it simple. You can pop in, find a magic (and tasty) cure for depression, then find some good news to pass along to your pothead friends, and check out some fun links... then scoot right back to playing Words With Friends finishing off your important work that you always do so diligently.

First up, ever wonder if taking fish oil capsules will work as well as eating real fish for getting Omega-3's? Or curious whether flaxseed oil will do the trick? The quick answers: Yes, and No. (Get the full scoop from the Diet Doctor).

Have you heard about the birth control pill packaging error that could lead to unintended pregnancies? Or new research challenging the notion that menopause increases heart disease risk? Or, hey, need a recipe for leftover lamb and mango salad?  These all courtesy of my new favorite gyno-food blog, The Blog that Ate Manhattan. And ok, it's probably the only gyno-food blog out there, but that only makes it more awesome.

Get tired of female celebrities being criticized for their curves? Charlotte has their comebacks over at Shape, plus some behind-the-scenes thoughts on her slideshow at The Great Fitness Experiment.

Wondering where you can find a list of good cardio-only workout DVD's? Ask the FBG's, they're on it.

Got a couple minutes to kill?  Check out the weirdly entertaining Draw a Stickman site, which brings your attempt at a stick-figure to life.  (I found myself, however, compelled to give my stick figure a That-Girl style flip haircut, so that she was clearly a stick-woman.  Down with sticksexism!) 

And Healthy Dish has more random health and fitness info--like how to know if you're at risk for osteoporosis.

Recent Stuff Copied from Twitter:

Study: older overweight women don't seem to have stronger leg muscles to compensate, making mobility difficult: http://t.co/h3MVFBuU

Colon cancer hits men earlier, so study suggests men should get dreaded colonoscopies sooner, women later. http://t.co/sz7Ua0l9 (whew!)

Lots of coffee may lower risk of depression in women: http://t.co/nl4s30g98 But 4+ cups a day? Yikes!

Pot smokers LESS likely to be obese: http://t.co/YrHPmi7i  Hmm, if we exploit it as a weight-loss aid, can we finally legalize it?

[Plus, Dr. J reports that timely pot-smoking may help prevent PTSD]

Study I plan to forget: chores like cleaning, laundry, may help ward off dementia: http://t.co/e93xxVeQ (Chores? Sorry, I have an allergy to those)

Shocking finding! "Most Patients Want Experienced Surgeons, Not Trainees" http://t.co/RLONgQhc

Aerobic exercise great for blasting belly fat: http://t.co/aoYwVmhR (But clearly not perfect solution, according to my belly.)

Stop dissin' granny's driving! Kids less likely to get injured in crashes when a grandparent drives than a parent. http://t.co/jNAbeFPs

Slumping at your pc right now? Ha, thought so! An exercise to fix that: http://t.co/0EiTAkKO Though you may get funny looks at work.

More creepy MRSA news: antibacterial ointments like neosporin don't kill it, and may actually hasten its spread. http://t.co/Rp3byZlY

And that's about it...  Oh wait:


My favorite recent google query that led a reader to Cranky Fitness? "can i do lsd after the master cleanse?"

So, any thoughts, gripes, or stuff you're grateful for this Friday? Feel free to spill!

Tough Workout? Motivational Secrets Help You Kick Ass

Photo: Jontunn

Sometimes you can smell a lousy workout coming a mile away--you're so full of dread, slothfulness and self-pity you can barely tie your shoes or lift your water bottle.

Other times, a horrifyingly discouraging workout comes as a complete surprise!  You set out to tackle your usual routine full of cheerful vigor and eager anticipation... only to slam unexpectedly into a brick wall of supreme suckiness a few short moments after you've begun.

Wait, when did my leg muscles turn into lead weights? Could covert top-secret government agencies have started monkeying around with gravity, it feels incredibly heavy today! And crap, my watch must be broken... because I'm dying here and there is NO F#%CKING WAY I could only have been exercising for one and a half minutes!

Of course you could always bail--and depending on the situation, that's sometimes the most logical and sensible option. You might want to consult an effortometer, and depending on the read-out, dial back your original expectations and cut yourself some slack. Perhaps you've been over-training, or are coming down with a cold, or haven't slept enough, or have too many other demands on your limited motivational stockpile for the day.

But what if you know you'd be much, much, much happier with yourself if you could somehow suck it up and get through your workout exactly as planned--right now, not some other day?

Six Secret Workout Motivational Tips For Tough Days

Of course, as you will soon discover, these are not secrets at all, but are obvious suggestions that you know perfectly well already. But if I offered up a more accurate heading:

Recycled Exercise Motivational Advice You've Heard A Thousand Times Before But That Might Actually Be Useful To Remember Because You're Not Actually Doing It All That Often, Are You?

...then what are the chances you'd keep going and read any of these suggestions?

So anyway, here we go with some motivational "secrets":

1. Embrace the Wimpy Warm-Up

Sometimes all it takes to deal with an abysmally pathetic beginning is to back off your normal warm-up pace, slow way the hell down, and extend the whole "warming up" part of your workout past your normal time frame. Admit you feel crappier than usual, and don't be all punitive and inflexible with yourself--ease in more than usual, hope for the best, and sometimes the sluggishness disappears as mysteriously as it came.

2. Recall the Paradoxical Pukeyness Principle

You might not know it by that name, but this is the often-forgotten fact that sometimes the best workouts you've ever had in your life began as grueling, afraid-you're-going-to-vomit ordeals. What causes an unpredictable "second wind" to occur? Who knows! But there is often very little relationship between how a workout starts and how it ends. Could this be one of those triumphant experiences where you fight past fatigue and apathy and somehow burst through to the other side with a sudden surge of strength and energy for a personal best performance? Or will you give up before you find out?

3. Change Something, Quick!

If you've already embarked on your run, swim, weight training circuit or whatever, it may be too late to do something drastically different like pogo-sticking your way up a nearby mountain or competing in a bog-snorkeling competition. However, even minor alterations to your standard workout can sometimes ease that icky sensation of "I can NOT stand to do this yet again today!" Play with the incline on your treadmill, or do your weights in totally the wrong order. Or choose different variations of the same old exercises, even if they're not as optimal. Use an old playlist of tunes you haven't heard in a couple years. Reverse the direction of your normal run. Try a new machine at the gym for 2 or 3 minutes; experiment with running backwards or sideways or skipping for a bit; close your eyes for a few seconds and see if you can manage not to kill yourself; dump half your water bottle onto your head; climb out of the pool half-way through your laps and do 10 pushups... it can be a profoundly stupid or trivial experiment, but in an Emergency Workout Suckage Situation, every little bit helps.

4. Break it Down

The single most stupid thing I tend to do when faced with an excruciatingly bad workout is to mentally rehearse just how awful and impossible each successive step is going to be. If the first set of leg presses feel this bad, how will we get to the next set, let alone all our other exercises? If my legs are this tired after 2 minutes on the elliptical, how will I ever make it to 45 minutes? Shockingly, this type of "it's only going to get worse" stewing and sulking is not tremendously helpful.

The cure: focus on the next thirty seconds or so and FORGET THE FUTURE. Who knows, an asteroid could hit the earth and you won't have to do any push-ups after all! Or, if that's too gloomy, just allow yourself to consider the rest of your workout is entirely negotiable... if you can just get through the next 30 seconds.

And it helps to find a bunch of different mini-goals, one after the other, especially if you have any exercise gadgets with you. "I'll keep going until the next song on my playlist" then "well, I need to at least reach an even 2 miles, I can't stop at 1.9," then "oh wait, my pedometer says I'm at 3900 steps I gotta make it an even 4000," and then, "hey, it's almost an even 20 minutes, I can't stop at 19:30," and then "wait, now this song is almost over, maybe I can make it 'til the next one starts?"

Eventually you'll either get in the groove... or drive yourself so nuts trying to make it through your workout that you can deserve to call it a day.

5. Pump it Up! ...Wait, WTF?!?!

This is the most counter-intuitive trick I use. Sometimes, when I'm dead tired and can barely manage even my slowest pace, I make myself throw in ONE hideous all-out interval to a non interval-training day. Weirdly enough, exponentially increasing the misery for a short time sometimes kicks off a waterfall of brain chemicals that can wash out some of the lethargy that's been clogging up the circuits.

6. Mess With Your Head

Say you're attempting to make yourself hoist some disagreeably heavy weights or you're trotting sluggishly on the treadmill, marveling over the unfairness of having such a crappy workout when you've been so damn virtuous and wondering if the minute hand on the clock will ever, ever, ever move forward... Well, try to remember that even if your body may be stuck there having a lousy time, your brain is totally free to leave. Your imagination can put you ANYWHERE, doing ANYTHING you want with ANYONE you'd like!

But what if the misery of your current bodily state is too distracting to allow yourself to enjoy making out with a hot celebrity on a tropical island, or consuming a luscious six course meal of all your favorite foods? Well, then perhaps you might at least be able to coax along a more inspiring or exciting fantasy to accompany your exertion. You're... competing in a reality-show weightlifting competition and you'll win a million dollars if you can just complete this last set! You're being chased by a horde of hungry werewolves! You've gotten a last-second invitation for an exotic cruise by a wealthy and well-connected benefactor, who will take you (and your family, if you're feeling generous) on an amazing adventure... but only if you can run to the pier before the ship sails.

Anyone else have to use goofy mental tricks to slog through workouts from hell? Got any tips to share?

BTB Sunglasses Winners

The Random Number Generator has spoken!


Did you win? Well, even if you didn't, we've got a consolation prize of sorts: a special discount exclusively for Cranky Fitness readers!

So, if you order a pair of BTB sunglasses through the end of September, they're offering 20% off if you use the promo code is CRANKY20.

Drumroll please...


And the winners are:

Jen and Mrs. K!

Winners have until end of day Friday the 23rd to check in (email me or leave a comment), otherwise the RNG will get back to work and pick a new winner. Congrats to both of you!

Running Into Trouble

Yes, Sometimes I Am An Ass.

Photo: Katie Anderson

Help--I need an intervention! I lost control last week and did something incredibly dumb.

I went off for a "power" walk in the woods--and in the middle, for about fifteen minutes, it kind of turned into a run.

Granted, for many people, running is not a dumb thing to do. For most people, it's an excellent form of exercise! But... I ain't most people.

I am just now finally starting to recover from plantar fasciitis in my right foot after struggling with it for more than two freakin' years. I'm thrilled that it's almost gone--the last time I was feeling this close to healed was over a year ago. And guess what I did then? I went for a short run. And felt ok!  So the next week I went for another short run, re-injured the foot, and sent myself back to square one.  I couldn't walk more than a block for months and months. AGAIN.  (Oh, and before the plantar fasciitis ever hit--I had chronic knee problems from running too).

So WTF? Why would I be so idiotic as to endanger my tentative recovery from an injury that has plagued me for ages and caused me so much angst? And in exchange for what--a few minutes of trotting on a trail? I can get all the aerobic exercise I want on the lovely low-impact elliptical machine in our basement home gym.


Does anyone else struggle with an inability to leave behind an addictive physical activity no matter how stupidly abusive it is to your body?

Should You Stop Running When You're Older?

For tons of people the answer is a resounding: No! Keep running if you can, it's ridiculously good for you. A Stanford study of older runners found: "Elderly runners have fewer disabilities, a longer span of active life and are half as likely as aging nonrunners to die early deaths."

There are plenty of folks who can keep running pain and injury-free as the decades roll by. And there is a ton of advice out there on the web for preventing over-use injuries, stretching and strengthening various body parts, correcting biomechanical issues with orthotics, getting physical therapy, injections, electrical stimulation, surgery, etc, etc, etc.  However, I am not going to write a post right about that.  Honestly, the thought of all those happy healthy older runners out there training and competing and chugging away in their f#%cking marathons makes me so cranky I want to spike their water bottles with prune juice and metamucil and padlock all the portapotty doors.

Because for every cheerful article reassuring people that yes you can keep running your entire life if you just follow a few simple tips--there are thousands of us former running addicts who have followed all those steps, gone to multiple doctors, physical therapists, etc. etc. and tried every damn thing we could think of... and still can't manage to run without injuring ourselves.

And it's not just plantar fasciitis; according to one article, common injuries in older runners include back pain, bursitis, stress fracture, hamstring injury, problems with the kneecap, shin splints, Achilles tendonitis, heel pain, nerve disorders in the foot, calluses, bunions, and a "host of other leg and foot problems."

Why Is Running So Hard To Stop Doing?

This must sound like the most ridiculous problem in the world to those of you who hate to run. It would be like me trying to relate to articles such as: Do You Keep Your House So Clean It Intimidates Your Guests? Or Are You Making Way Too Much Money? Or perhaps:  Is It Time to Stop Meditating So Much--Before Your Head Explodes From All the Bliss?

But, odd as it may sound, here are some of the reasons I keep "running" back to reinjure myself:

1. Running is cheap, convenient, and happens outdoors where the Sun and the Breeze and the Trees and the Beach and the Birds and other Lovely Things live!

2. Running involves launching yourself up in the air and coming back down over and over. The inherent bounciness of it is way more satisfying than the staid and steady plowing forward of walking or biking.

3. I started running at an impressionable age (17) and my still pliable brain was twisted into thinking that running was the only authentic, virtuous and noble form of aerobic exercise that existed. Decades later, I still can't entirely un-brainwash myself. All the wires deep in my brain apparently rusted together, and I don't have access to a brain-blowtorch to excise this stupid idea!

4. Other people still get to run and I don't. This drives me ape-shit crazy.

So How Do You Stop Yourself from Running When You Really, Really Want To?

In the unlikely event anyone else is currently tempted to return to an activity they know they shouldn't, here's what I'm trying:

1. Blog about it. I actually was heading out for another run before I started to write this post.  I then realized just how much of a jackass I was being, and changed my mind.

2. Avoid Triggers! Last week's foray into running happened on my old running trail, as I was listening to an old song that was on my running playlist. It felt so much like old times I couldn't seem to stop myself.

3. Or, If You Insist on Flirting With Triggers Anyway: Pre-exhaust yourself! We went back for a walk on the Trail of Temptation this weekend, but this time, I made the Lobster wait for half an hour while I went down and did intervals on the elliptical first.

4. Choose Your Wardrobe, Shoes, and Accessories Strategically.  I also made sure to wear pants, not shorts on the running trail, did not wear running shoes, and left my iPod at home.

5. Confront Denial and Remind Yourself of the Hideousness of the Possible Consequences. It's always hard to pass up a certain short term endorphin rush in order to avoid a danger that is only hypothetical. Even though I was hoping I might not re-injure myself, I needed to remind myself of how furious and miserable I'd be if I guessed wrong about that.

6. Bribe yourself with "later." Like other addictions, running is best dealt with one day at a time.  I haven't ruled out trying to start running again later, when my foot is completely healed. I reminded myself that the lovely trail in the woods would still be there for me to ruin my foot on later, once I'm entirely healed, if I feel so inclined.

7. Pump Up the Variety! I don't think I realized that I was getting so bored with my biking and elliptical routines until I found myself rationalizing my way into a run. Time for new tunes and routines and activities! Fortunately, our bizarre bi-coastal lifestyle means that in another month or so, I'll be on the other side of the country, with a whole new set of workout options--if I can keep from re-injuring myself before we get there.

But, I don't think I'm "out of the woods" yet! Anyone else struggle with this or have any good advice? 

On a serious note, if you struggle with addictive behaviors that are interfering with your life, that's not a joke. There is help out there. One option is  Above It All Treatment Center.

Kirstie Alley's Weight Loss and Other Lazy Links

Since People Magazine didn't get around to suing me two years ago...

Are you dying to know how much weight Kirstie Alley lost this time? Or don't give a crap?  Either way, hang out with us here at Cranky Fitness and see if there's anything you missed this week in health, fitness, or whining!

So the People cover is from a few years ago. But if you care to know Kirstie Alley's latest weight loss total...

This time, it's 100 pounds.  Huffpo has some Kirstie Alley 100 lb weight loss photos if you wanna check 'em out.

And what's the only reason I know about this? Well, a vintage Cranky Fitness post about Kirstie Alley's weight loss program all of a sudden got weirdly popular. Not that I check my stat counter program all the time or anything!  I just pop in there every three minutes occasionally and so I happened to catch an unexpected flurry of Kirstie Alley activity. So what do you guys think? Should I feel bad about teasing her two years ago with some skepticism about her efforts to make a buck off weight she hadn't lost yet? Should I apologize for being premature?  If someone wants to get her on the line...  I'm sure she's eager to hear what Crabby McSlacker has to say.

And elsewhere around the web:

Just wanted to recommend a couple of blogs I've recently become fond of. Over at Results Not Typical Girl, WTF Wednesdays are always good, plus, for those of you looking to beef up your resume and apply for a new job, Kirsten has some awesome tips!

Another great blog to check out is Keeping the Pounds Off, where among other inspirational and useful posts, you can discover a whole new kind of damage evil processed junk food can do.  Turns out snausages and other sugary doggy treats may be slowly killing your dog!

Want to discover out 10 mistakes you might be making at the gym or would you rather stay happily oblivious?

Do you find you're afraid to get hungry? Watch out--it could mean you're eating too much, and you may want to check out what to do about it.

Got an opinion about second hand smoke and higher education?  Read about the controversy on campus-wide smoking bans.


And some stuff I shared on twitter in the last couple weeks:

Remember that annoying study warning against taking Vitamins A, E, and beta-carotene? A newer study says these supps lower mortality rather than raise it. http://t.co/ye615zC

USDA finally bans any bacteria from meat that sickens more than 100,000 a year. http://t.co/d9Ajv8V But if 99K get sick, bring it on?

Not a perfect-enough perfectionist? This books tells you how to be a better perfectionist: http://t.co/V4Z0uVx

Got at least one family member with insomnia? Your risk is 67% higher.  http://t.co/7ju1s7u  Got three? It's 314% higher. Yikes!

Dieters assigned to Weight Watchers instead of just getting a Dr's advice lost 2x as much...said study funded by Weight Watchers. http://t.co/K2Kb25y (but it looks legit)

Cheers! Middle aged women who had 3-15 alcoholic drinks per week had the best physical and mental health by age 70. http://t.co/CxfpS1A

Birth control pills affect memory--women on them remember emotional gist better, but are fuzzier on details. http://t.co/QCwzzsq

Why are kick-ass exercises labeled "Men's" anyway? Great inspiration at Shape Magazine by Charlotte of the Great Fitness Experiment. http://t.co/hdbz9HS

Vigorous exercise burns a bunch of extra calories after working out, moderate exercise doesn't. http://ow.ly/6pUBw

Nearly 40% of Europeans suffer from mental disorders? http://t.co/uQ4e0Mz And here I thought we 'Mercuns were #1 in head cases.

Couch potatoes rejoice! You can now blame your genes (at least if you're a mouse) http://t.co/DUURtF9 But you still need to get fit.

Strange: subconsciously, most people find straight white men more likeable than gay white men, but prefer black gay men to black straight men. http://t.co/jSosLRH

Remember the marshmallow experiments? Follow-up says kids' ability to delay gratification (or not) persists for decades http://t.co/PVDoMlv

Heavier women over 60 have fewer hot flashes: http://t.co/olneCb7 But experts warn: don't gain weight on purpose. Gosh, really?

Gotta Love Google:
What was my favorite recent search term for finding Cranky Fitness?

"why does it seem I cant focous?"

And lastly,

Giveaway Reminder!

Don't forget to enter to win one of 2 pair of nifty BTB sunglasses on Wednesday's giveaway post. 

Have a great Friday! Anything on your minds?