One Rule for a Flat Stomach!

Really, there's just one rule?

And if we follow it, we can all have a flat stomach?

You've seen the ads all over the internet. They're almost, but not quite as annoying as the woman with the fakest looking wrinkles ever in the history of fake wrinkles, who gets her face magically erased, over and over and over again. (God I HATE THAT AD!!!)

At least the "1 Rule" ad doesn't usually come with a picture, but it's still all over the place. It says there's 1 rule for a flat stomach, and you must Obey it. If you do, you will lose one pound a day, or eleven pounds in two weeks, or 45 pounds in 12 weeks. Whatever. Bottom line: you'll shed buckets of belly fat in no time flat.

Just one simple rule! Do you know what it is? Seems like if it was that powerful, we'd all have heard about from other, more reputable sources. But still... what could they be referring to? Could there really be some simple principle we've all been overlooking?

So raise your hands... (Virtually, that is--unless you want the folks at work looking at you funny). How many of you smart, educated, sophisticated, health-conscious, discerning Cranky Fitness readers just couldn't help yourself and finally had to click on the link to find out the One Rule?

I did.

After swearing to myself, over and over, that I would not let curiosity get the better of me and send traffic (and thus, money) to whatever sleazy entity no doubt lurked behind the come-ons, I finally couldn't help it.

So you want to know what the secret is? As a public service, Cranky Fitness will tell you, so you can avoid soiling yourself by clicking on any of these slimy ads.

Hi Anna! Hi Pam! Hi Brook!

Here's what happens when you click on the "1 rule" ad: you usually end up at someone's blog or web page. There you find out the secret, which we will now reveal.

The secret is buying the right combination of weight loss products. The funny thing is, the products change, so the "1 rule" is really "many rules!" Sometimes it is an acai berry thing and a colon cleanser. Sometimes it Wu Yi, or a mysterious fat burning concoction called Slim 365. Do these products work? Well, they must, right, just look at the photographic evidence!

Photographic Proof the One Rule Is Totally Awesome and Effective

What more do you need? Here is a picture of Pam Burgess, from Burlingame, California. She has 2 kids and a wonderful husband. She lost 45 pounds using a combination of two free trial products she saw on TV! Here is a picture of her in July and another one three months later.

Pam in July, and 3 months later

Still skeptical? Well, there's more proof:

Here's Anna Matthews, who also has 2 kids and a wonderful husband. She also lost 45 pounds using a combination of two free products she saw on TV. Here is a picture of her in October, and another one three months later.

Anna in October, and 3 months later.

Isn't that amazing? Two entirely different women, using different versions of the 1 Rule, with such amazingly similar results! So see, there's nothing at all fishy here to worry about.

Endorsed by Oprah, WebMD, Dr. Oz, and CBS!

Depending on the ad you get, you can read the less questionable claim that some of the ingredients of these products have received favorable attention in the press. But some versions take it further and claim the products themselves are being touted by folks who would obviously know better. WebMD, for example, has since updated its acai berry article to make clear that there is little research supporting the weight loss claims, but it's still being held up as a major endorser of these products.

Scam Scam Scam Scam

Regular readers of Cranky Fitness do not need me to tell them these ads are bogus. But many folks out there do not have the time, energy, or motivation to educate themselves about what it takes to lose weight in a healthy and realistic way. Others know damn well what it takes, but don't want to face the depressing reality of eating less and exercising more. They allow wishful thinking to take over and they order this crap and hope for the best.

Here is a link explaining how at least some of acai berry weight loss scams work. But the fact that I even clicked on one of the little f*ckers just shows you how even the sleaziest of come-ons can be tempting to check out.

Ick, I feel so dirty!!!


Heard of any other Creepy Weight Loss solutions you want to warn folks about? Ever been taken in by one?

Winner: Mary Lou's Weigh Scale

Damn but I'm glad Mr. Random Number Generator had to pick the winner. There were so many great comments that I'd never be able to pick just one.

The winner is...

Seabreeze!

Congratulations! Please send your name and mailing address to crabbymcslacker @ gmail .com (without the spaces) by Friday, January 16th.

Reminder: if you'd like to order the scale from the kind folks at Mary Lou's Weigh, use the coupon code Crabby50 and they'll give you a 50% discount.

p.s. Y'know? Those irritating perky messages are becoming less irritating as time goes by. Now I just wish the scale would say something about my losing weight!

Why I refused to review Diet Girl's book (plus, a giveaway)

[The scene: In the palatial Cranky Fitness Headquarters (C.F.H.), Merry sits writing a letter.]

Dear Diet Girl,

Thank you for letting me read your memoir, The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl.

However, I don't want to review it.

I think I would rather pitch it as a movie proposal.

I see this story as a saga. Nicole Kidman could play the lead, with Hugh Jackman as the romantic hero. (Or Gerard Butler might work, since the hero is Scottish.)

I can see the movie poster:


Thrills! Travel to exotic locations!
Chills! The Aussies encounter the Scottish winter!
Suspense! Will Diet Girl be deported forever?
Death-defying feats! See how she masters complicated maneuvers such as kick boxing and weight lifting!
Weight Loss! The woman lost an amazing 175 pounds!
A romance that spanned three continents and four weddings!!!


Sorry, but I need to stop writing this letter for a moment. Crabby's over there waving a claw at me. I think she's trying to get a word in edgewise. (Seems appropriate. How else would a crab get a word in? )

Crabby: Merry? You can put down that pen now. Look who's coming through the door, it's the Amazing Diet Girl herself, Shauna Reid! So we can ask her questions and tell her in virtual-person what we thought about her awesome book.

Merry: She's here? [Hides the autographed copy of Pasta Queen's book.] Shauna! How lovely to see you!

Shauna: Howdy ladies! Thanks for having me over.

Crabby: It's our pleasure! Oddly enough, we don't get many visitors at Cranky Fitness headquarters. [Hurriedly brushing away cobwebs and dust bunnies].

Merry: So, Shauna, thank you for letting us read The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl. Even though I don't want to review it, I have a question. Well, several questions, really.

Shauna: Fire away!

Merry: Especially in the beginning, when you weighed over 300 pounds, you suffered from fat girl panic attacks that threatened to stop you. By the end of the story, the panic attacks were noticeably fewer. Did they drop off with the pounds or was there some shift in your attitude that discouraged them?

Shauna: The Fat Girl Freakouts got less frequent as I got less freaked out about being fat. I started out with really rubbish self-esteem - I was almost apologetic for just existing, like how dare I take up so much space! My confidence grew somewhat as I started to lose weight, but what really helped along the way was, for lack of a better phrase, doing stuff. Things that most people wouldn't see as particularly radical, like trying a weights class at the gym and training for a 5K race. It was a revelation after so many years of being a hermit and convincing myself I was "too fat" to try. I started to feel less defined by the size of my butt and less worried about what people thought of me.

Merry: I loved your description of 'Vampire Exercise' -- walking by yourself at night rather than during the day when people could see you. How did you go from that mindset to walking into a gym?

Shauna: I just applied the same Vampire Method to the gym - I always went the hour before it closed - that way I avoided the Hot People Peak Hour with all the nubile supermodel types! Eventually I got bored with the cardio machines and wanted to try group classes but they were earlier. So I'd arrive really early and hide up the back row so no one could look at me wobbling around. So at first I think it was more about finding crafty ways to work around my fears as opposed to tackling them directly :)

Merry: I was impressed that you didn't wait to start living until you'd gotten stick thin. A lot of people think that no one will look at them until they're skinny. You went out and fell in love anyway! Um... does Gareth have any brothers?

Shauna: He does! He's single too. Come on over, baby!
The whole falling in love thing was a real shock. I admit that I was convinced that no one would look at me until I was svelte - which is probably why it took me months to notice that Gareth was interested. I wish I'd taken off my fat goggles years earlier and believed I was worthy of some good lovin' - who knows how much action I missed out on over the years!? :)

Merry: Hmmmn... I wonder if mortgaging the C.F.H. would afford me a ticket to Scotland... oh, sorry. My mind was wandering for minute. Anyway. Comfort food. It sounds like chocolate and you had a very special bond. Has this changed? What do you do nowadays when you feel down?

Shauna: I still eat the chocolate! I know you're supposed to Phone A Friend or Take A Bubble Bath when you're down but sometimes only chocolate will do. I've learned to eat smaller portions of the good stuff and savor the hell out of 'em. I eat my wee ration as slowly and quietly as possible - Gareth knows not to interrupt me if I am having a Chocolate Moment. If I scoff it down quickly I'll inevitably want more, so I try really hard to eat mindfully.

Crabby: Well, Merry may have decided not to review the book, but I can't help gushing a bit. I'd give it two enthusiastic Claws Up! I thought it was dramatic, moving, inspiring, and funny as hell. It was fast-paced and was almost like a novel, in that it had a great "plot"-- all the more fascinating because it was all true. I agree with Merry, it would make a great movie.

But part of what made it so gripping was that it was a messy, complicated journey. It's one thing to disclose this stuff on an anonymous blog, but was it scary at all to think about "going public" with your name on the cover of a book? And is it strange to have your private thoughts about, say, the size of your undergarments, read by people all over the world? Or friends and neighbors and co-workers?

Shauna: I'm glad you enjoyed it, cheers! I was a wee bit nervous about going public and committing my looniest moments to print - there's no Undo button with a book! But by the time it was finally published in the UK in January 2008, it was almost two years after I'd started writing. And another year has passed now it's out in the USA, so the distance helps. I can almost look back at the Me in the book like a bemusing fictional character: Wow, that Shauna Reid sure was a nutter! It's also a great ice breaker - people who were previously distant acquaintances come up to me at parties and say, "Dude, I totally eat Nutella straight from the jar too."
I also know how much I left out of the book - it could have been so much worse!

Merry: I think the book was pretty good as it was! But Crabby has a good point. You write frankly about body issues. How do you feel about your body now?

Shauna: I'm cool with it. I admire its resilience - I've put it through hell and back and it's still hanging in there! I never had any illusions that I was hiding a supermodel body under my fat suit, so I've accepted my wobbly bits and focus on my best features. I spent far too many years glaring at my reflection in the mirror and thinking evil loathing thoughts... now my mind and body are finally a team.

Crabby: Do you feel any pressure to maintain a particular size or weight, now that you're a success story for others? Or do you feel it's your own damn business whatever you weigh?

Shauna: There were times last year when the book first came out in the UK and Ireland that I thought I would explode from the pressure to live up to the happy ending. I'd get lovely emails from people saying they looked up to me as a success story, and not-so-lovely emails from people saying I was DOOMED to regain the weight and mark their words, they would be waiting to laugh maniacally when I FAILED. Both kinds of email left me gnawing my fingernails with angst. But now I'm more chilled and as long as I'm happy with my weight, that's all I need to worry about. I'll just keep on doing what I've always done with the blog - share the ups and downs with honesty, and let people draw from it whatever they will. I try not to put any pressure on myself other than make sure I keep doing the Healthy Things as much as I can, for the sake of my sanity as much as my waistline!

Crabby: I've very much enjoyed checking in with your blog, The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl. It seems you manage to be funny about whatever subject you take on. Do you see the blog changing emphasis away from food, exercise and weight issues in the future as you get further from your own incredible weight loss journey? Or will it continue to be a major subject you blog about? (I'm guessing a lot of folks interested in weight loss will be joining you after the book comes out in the United States!)

Shauna: Dietgirl will always be the place for the lard-related thoughts! Even when I don't post as frequently, I still come crawling back because let's face it, it never ends. After eight years I still need a place to touch base and spew my thoughts. The writing is part of the maintenance just as much as my meal planning or exercise schedule. And I love the support and friendship you get from blogland. As for other topics, I've had a personal blog since 2000 called What's New Pussycat which is where I write about my non-fat passions - travel, music, sport, Scottish life and general bitching about what's on the telly. I started Dietgirl as a separate, anonymous blog because I didn't want to alienate WNP readers with my weight loss shenanigans. I'm totally out of the fat blogging closet now, so I just write wherever the mood takes me!

Crabby: What does the Mothership think about this whole book thing?

Shauna: I think The Mothership quite enjoys it. The mother-daughter relationship is never a straightforward one so I was worried about publishing some of our darkest moments. But she read all the drafts and encouraged me to be even more honest and open. She also gets some of the funniest lines so she's quite happy with how she was depicted! She's also a great saleswoman and is always moving my book to prominent shelves in Australian bookshops!

Merry: What's the big deal with kickboxing? I mean, it's not complicated. You simply find a box and give it a good kick. Why's that considered fun?

Shauna: It gets fun when you swap a box for a real live person! You wear these ridiculous padded shoes that all round and shiny, like you've raided Mickey Mouse's wardrobe, so you can't do any real harm. But that thwack thwack thwack sound when you land a kick is pure music, and any stress you felt before class just flies right out your toes! I never thought I would look forward to doing exercise but I am thoroughly addicted to kickboxing. Even though I'm quite rubbish at it.

Merry: Okay, time for the hard-hitting question. [Sets up the bright spotlight] Time to tell the truth. Who's better looking: Hugh Jackman or Gerard Butler?

Shauna: I'll have to stay loyal to my homeland and go with Australia's Hugh Jackman!

Merry: Excellent choice! I'll have my people call his people about doing the Diet Girl movie.

Crabby: Thank you, Shauna, for answering all our questions! And it was a pleasure to read your book. We hope some of our readers might be inspired to go out and pick up a copy... or to stay in and pick up a copy! Either way--it's a great book no matter how you get ahold of it.

Oh, and I think Merry had a lovely parting gift for you, she said something about baking a special chocolate cake just for the occasion...[voice trails off]

Merry: Um... gosh, I can't understand how that turned into a plate of crumbs... I could've sworn I had told that cat not to... hmmmn....

Diet Girl Book Giveaway

Yes, we're giving away one copy of Diet Girl's fabulous book.

You have to be a USian, but I don't feel so bad about this. I mean, this book is already out in Canada, and the U.K., and Norway, for pete's sake.

Deadline: Please leave a comment and let us know what you think! Mr. Random Number Generator will pick a comment at Midnight 6:48 pm (PST) Monday, January 19th.

This contest is now closed.

Strength Training for Beginners

Image credit: popoever

Thinking about adding some strength training to your exercise routine, but aren't sure how to get started?

Building up muscle strength is really good for you. (More on that in a moment) And if you're female, we promise you're not going to end up looking freakishly masculine and massively proportioned. First off, you need a bunch of testosterone for that. And secondly, hardcore muscle-building is kick-ass hard work! It involves effort, frustration, exhaustion, and pain, and it's pretty much impossible to accidentally do too much.

Wait, where are you all going???

Sorry. Strength training really doesn't have to be all that unpleasant. That's mostly a problem for whiny slackers like yours truly, who would love to look pretty darn muscular, but would like it to happen via Fairy Dust, not actual work. Even for slackers, working with weights is pretty rewarding. Not just in terms of appearance and health benefits, but in actually being able to lift heavy stuff without ending up in the hospital.

So, for some tips to get started, who is better suited to offer advice than Crabby McSlacker?

Almost anyone, that's who!

That's why I asked some much better informed folks, like MizFit and Kelly of Fitness Fixation and Rupal of 101 Exercises and Personal Trainer Terri Walsh to help me out with links from their sites and helpful tips. Plus... we got The Google in on it too.

And if you already strength train, hang in there, because I'm really hoping you'll read this post, realize you know a LOT more about the subject than I do, and chime in with your tips and personal experiences for newbies to benefit from.

Why it's So Important to Learn The Physiological Processes Behind Muscle Building
In order to start strength training, it crucial that you first understand the process by which muscle is built and concepts such as progressive overload, zzzzzzz the distinctions between isotonic, isometric zzzzzzzzz and plyometric zzzzzz zzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzz.

Okay, maybe we don't really give a crap about that after all.

Why Is Strength Training Good for You?
There's a handy list at WebMD. But there's also a nice summary over at 101 Exercises of what strength training can do:

• increase metabolic rate which in turn allows your body to burn calories more efficiently, even at rest
• cut down on cardiovascular stress by reduction of resting blood pressure and heart rate
• increase bone density, thus reducing risk of osteoporosis
• improve strength, power and muscular endurance
• and even help firm up ‘bingo arms’ ‘moobs’ and ‘muffin tops’!

Rupal also contributed some further thoughts and inducements:

"Each pound of added muscle burns approximately 35 to 50 more calories daily. That can add up! And if you're a competitive sort, strengthening can enhance athletic performance. Swing the golf club harder, climb hills faster in a race, jump higher and cycle faster! It can also help prevent injuries: stronger, more balanced musculature equals greater stability at joints, more effective and efficient biomechanical relationships and enhanced movement performance."

Choosing Equipment and Setting
You can do your strength training in a gym. You can do it at home. You can do it on a train; you can do it in the rain; you can do it with a fox; you can do it in a box... oops, wait, maybe not! (Too much Dr. Seuss as a child, sorry).

As to equipment, you can use weight machines (they have combo home versions too); or use barbells, dumbells, a weight bench. Don't like heavy objects? You can also use resistance bands or tubes; fancy suspension systems; you can use use your own body weight for many exercises too. You can use even use live human children, but don't tell anyone we said that.

How to decide which way to go?

It's all very personal, and of course has quite a bit to do with convenience, space, goals, and costs. There's no right or wrong answer. I would advise against making huge financial commitments, either with long-term gym memberships or fancy-pants equipment, until you've tried a few different methods.

One tip: there are many reasons you might want to avoid gyms, like you don't want to leave the house to exercise, or you hate to wait for equipment, or the smell of a gym reminds you of high school and causes you to burst into tears at unpredictable intervals. All very reasonable. But don't let self-consciousness keep you out of a perfectly good gym.

You have every right to be in that gym, beginner or not. If you get some basic instructions before you start off, and don't do anything too obnoxious, no one will even notice you. The regulars are all too busy flexing, grunting, cursing, and staring at their own reflections in the mirror to care that you're lifting bright pink 2 lb dumbbells or grand pianos. You can join for a brief period; try out all kinds of things; get some instructions; and then use that info to put together your own home set-up.

General Tips
Virtually everyone I asked and every place I googled emphasized the same two important points:

1. Learn about proper form before you start.

2. Start off easy and build the habit before you try to lift heavy. Eventually, you will want to lift heavier and heavier weights--and in fact, I remember a study saying that most people, and women in particular, settle in at weights that aren't nearly heavy enough to challenge them.

But worry about that later. When you're just starting out, your job is to learn proper form and get in the habit of regular strength training. Save injury-inducing bonehead feats of stupidity for later on! By then, you'll have enough invested in your progress that mere sprained, torn, broken, or otherwise abused body parts won't keep you from quitting completely.

Getting Help
If you have googled around a bit looking for general guidance on getting started, you may have discovered that the advice you get is frustratingly general (like mine). Or, it is way too overwhelming--you get hundreds of possible exercises and contradictory instructions depending on who is offering the advice.

Thus I'd recommend picking one fairly reliable source, learning the basics, and then progressively getting more and more information customized to your particular goals and needs. Note: MizFit is one of our favorite reliable sources, and much of the rest of this post is swiped from her blog with her very generous permission.

Here are some of the options for designing your program and starting out:

Human: This is one of the best methods, because an actual live person can listen to your goals, note your limitations, and see what you're doing wrong and corrrect your form. How to find a helpful human? Many gyms offer a free orientation to their equipment when you join; and it's no secret you can pay a personal trainer. Mizfit has some great tips about how to choose a good personal trainer, and so does Kelly from Fitness Fixation.

Virtual Human: There are online sources offering more personalized plans than a book. Of course they can't hover over you like an in-person trainer and tell you your knees are in the wrong place or your butt's sticking out too far. One I happen to know of is Terri Walsh, a celebrity personal trainer in NYC. Have I trained with her? Heck no, do I look like a celebrity? But she did send me a nifty ebook full of useful exercises, and she also does an online training service for (just) under $20 a month. (She's also one of the 2009 trainers in People Magazine's "Half Their Size" project). But there are plenty others out there I haven't been introduced to, and maybe readers could share their experiences, good or bad.

Books, DVD's, etc:
Mizfit helps us out again on books: She likes Arnold Schwarzenegger's book because, "while I don't wish to look like he does, the explanations and photos are immensely helpful." She also finds that Weight Training For Dummies "gives clear, concise, bottom-line suggestions for how to devise and stick to a weight training plan."

This is another area where we could use some help. The last book I consulted one by Diana Nyad, which was very comprehensive and helpful at the time, but came out a hundred years ago back in the 80's and is probably out of print. We're hoping folks in the comments will help fill in this section with favorite books, dvd's or websites!

UPDATE: look for more suggestions in the comments! But one that came up over and over was: The New Rules of Lifting for Women: Lift Like a Man, Look Like a Goddess. Lots of folks have found this book helpful.


Basic Routines

How Much and How Often? What Exercises Should I Do?

This is where it starts to get overwhelming. I'll just include the advice of a few folks, but again, you may want seek Professional Help to craft a routine that's right for you.

MizFit again is a super resource.

While she is, like Crabby, a believer in starting off with guidance from a live human, she offered up a sample beginner full body routine in one of her posts.

"Start off twice a week (remember, we are setting ourselves up for success!) doing only two sets per exercise at a weight where you can complete 12-15 repetitions the first set without struggle and 10-12 repetitions the last set and feel *challenged* but not in pain.

What should you include in this routine?

1 exercise for chest.
1 exercise for back.
1 exercise for biceps.
1 exercise for triceps.
1 exercise for shoulders.
2-4 for your legs (depending on time available and your current fitness level.)

As you become more fit you can increase your workout to three times a week (never on back-to-back days) and, as your fitness level increases still, you may wish to break down your routine into an upper body workout one day and lower body/shoulders on another.

And you know what's really cool? MizFit has videos to show you how to do these exercises, with emphasis on proper form.

Legs:
Legs Video 1
Legs Video 2
Legs Video 3
Legs Video 4


Arms:
Arms Video 1
Arms Video 2
Arms Video 3
Arms Video 4
Arms Video 5


Chest/back:
Video 1
Video 2
Video 3
Video 4
Video 5

Terri Walsh, when she's not busy shrinking people to half their size, recommends working towards these essential exercises:

Push ups
Pull ups
Squats
Lunges
Dips
Crunches

However, as we've mentioned, tough exercises like pushups and pullups may require modification, especially for beginners. Terri says that as a trainer, she always starts people off slow and then adds workouts as they get more comfortable. She suggests "Start off with two workouts per week. If you make all those workouts happen in a month, then add ONE more to the week the next month. And so on. The goal is not to torture yourself, but to allow your mind, body and life to catch up to, and get used to your new thinking. Too many changes all at once is harder on the psyche than most people will admit, and that imo, causes 'relapses'."

Here's another list of "top ten exercises"; Stumptuous has lots more information on free weights for women, and of course Rupal has tons of exercises over at her place.

Warnings and Hazards
Kelly at Fitness Fixation has some very specific warnings about common exercises that people do wrong. Sample tip (among many) for the squat: "Your chest should remain upright and your back curved. I mean curved so that you are sticking out your chest and ass, like, yes, a supermodel in a waterfall."


So, do any of you have any advice for those just starting off? Any inspirational tales or horror stories?

(And if you've got a great post on this that you've written or seen somewhere, feel free to leave a link in your comment below for new folks to check out! Unless you're selling something slimy, in which case, please go somewhere else to leave your spam.)

Random Thursday returns, loaded with gossip

Admit it. Sometimes you need a random Cranky Fitness post. Especially when there hasn't been a single random post all year.

Photo credit: Redvers

Especially a post that reveals some really out there interesting gossip about Crabby McSlacker...

Did that get your attention?

News flash: people aren't good at paying attention (Yes, I'm talking to you)

Psychologists are finding out that even when people try to focus on a task they tend to lose concentration within 40 minutes, and sometimes as little as 10 minutes. A psychology professor at the University of Cincinatti, Joel Warm, tracked blood flow in different areas of the brain to determine when people were, or were not, paying attention.

"During various 40-minute tests, researchers saw a decrease in blood-flow velocity over time, and, therefore, a decrease in attention. "Sometimes in the first 10 minutes," Warm says. "That early." And he says many times the participants didn't realize it was happening."

The really scary part? They plan to use this to test people who work in nuclear power plants, to find out when the person monitoring the controls has zoned out while on the job. (Just the thought of a person in that job zoning out scares me. Or a pilot zoning out while flying a plane. Or... okay, you get the idea.) Pay attention!

Another reason to feel paranoid when you're feeling sick

Fatal heart attacks and other heart disease deaths increased during flu epidemics in St. Petersburg, the researchers report. In an article published in the European Heart Journal, if you're over 50, and live in St. Petersburg (Russia, not Florida) and have the flu, you have a higher risk of having a heart attack.

The study stresses that while the flu may make fatal heart attacks or other heart disease deaths more likely, just the fact that you have the flu doesn't seem to actually cause a heart attack. Dr. Mirkin reasons thusly:

"Nobody really knows why, but inflammation is the leading theory on the cause of heart attacks and strokes. Your immunity is good for you because it helps protect you from infections However, if your immunity stays active, it can attack your body to cause inflammation which damages blood vessels and sets you up for clots that cause heart attacks and strokes. "

Moral: if you have heart trouble, get a flu vaccination. Especially if you're over 50 and live in Russia. Well, frankly, even if you live in Florida.

Hey, I had to throw in a scary bit of research to see if you were paying attention

Cyclists are fit to be tied... er, I mean clipped in

People who really get into bicycling tend to use toe clips or clip-in shoes to secure their foot to the pedal. The common wisdom is that this is more efficient that regular pedaling. (You not only push down on the pedal, you also pull up on the upstroke, thus utilizing all the leg motion to keep the bicycle going.) Researchers (not the same ones as the gossip study) at the University of Bath in England showed that cycling efficiency is not altered with and without toe clips (Journal of Sports Sciences, January 2008). Turns out toe clips don't really lower submaximal oxygen consumption (VO2).

On the other hand, riding clipped in does help in other ways. Your foot isn't going to slip off the pedals if you have to speed up or slow down quickly. Personally I don't recommend it if you're the forgetful type. Otherwise, you'll come to a complete stop and only then remember to unclip... while the bicycle is falling sideways onto the pavement... um, not that I'm speaking from experience. Oh my no. Nope, not me. (Thankfully, most bicycles do not come equipped with video cameras, so there's no evidence to suggest I'm being less than candid.)



more animals

Did you know that looking for YouTube clips of bicycles with toe clips brings up Porn videos? I didn't know that until just this moment. Wait... where's everybody going? Geez, now you pay attention?

Turns out it's healthy to read People magazine

Photo credit: Jessica Driver

Professor Manfred Milinksi, working with Drs Ralf Sommerfeld, and Hans-Jurgen Krambeck in the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Biology in Germany, found that gossip is a vector for socially relevant information.

Those who were fascinated by the lives of others were more successful than those who were not, the researchers found. Gossip is "the glue that holds society together." (It can certainly create sticky situations, so I suppose that analogy is accurate.)

The next time you're at the gym and someone stares at you while you're working out, just tell yourself that they're looking for socially relevant information about you to share with others.

The study concludes that if people hear a lot of gossip about someone, they tend to automatically discount what they're hearing. But in small dosages, gossip can (they say) give useful information, such as whether you should avoid a prospective mate because of habitual infidelity.

I don't know. Seems to me if I heard a lot of gossip over and over about someone, I'd be inclined to start thinking about cliches such as 'no smoke without fire' and things like that. The kind of gossip I like is the sort that I used to find in the Weekly World News. Did you know that a scientist has created a death ray for the iPhone? It's amazing what you can learn.

So, did you hear the rumor about Crabby? Well, it turns out it's all true. Yes, she really is the secret love child of Elvis and Princess Diana, but don't tell anyone I told you...

Tomorrow, I promise, there's a real post about fitness and crabbiness and interesting stuff like that. Honest!