... and Rock & Roll

[Written by Mary]

You’ve had posts about sex and drugs, so you knew this one was coming soon.

For the past week I've been feeling: I’m totally cool. I’ve got an iPod. (A “mid-value” one in the words of some electronics review site, which I suppose makes me about as cool as a Volvo driver.) It's a nifty device and changes how I view my workouts.

Exercise is far more fun when you’ve got music playing, but I’m going to go out on a heretical limb here and suggest that it doesn’t have to be rock’n’roll:

• Katharine at Editing My Body exercises on her treadmill to Souza marches, which makes sense.
• I myself went jogging the other night accompanied by the St. Martins in the Fields orchestra playing a Brandenburg concerto. (Did you just get a visual of an entire orchestra jogging along behind me playing violins?)
• I know a woman who loves downhill skiing, and practices her turns to the beat of “tea for two, and two for tea…”
  
• A certain crustacean, who shall remain nameless, has confessed to working out to cheesy disco tunes.
• This is going to sound equally cheesy, but some of the big band/ boogie woogie style tunes of the 40s have a great beat and are fun to move to. I feel a bit awkward listening to music that my parents enjoyed, but it's still got a great beat. (Knew a man once whose son used to listen to the man's Beatles records, but he never wanted to play them when Dad was around, because that was too embarrassing. The parent might try to 'relate' to him or something hideous like that.)

The music doesn’t have to be Bruce Springsteen's latest.

One thing is certain, there's no lack of people out there on the Internet willing to help you find music. Even a casual search brings up:
workoutmusic.com
bestworkoutmusic.com
workoutmusicvideo.com

and some product called iTunes.

________________________________________________
The womanagement at Cranky Fitness wish to stress that none of the above is to be taken as either endorsing or anathematizing the above links and companies. The minions offered to test the workout music on these sites, but the offer was declined due to actually requiring someone to shell out clams the custom being against the Cranky Fitness policy.
________________________________________________

What music do you work out to? Or do you listen to different music based on different workouts? (It's okay if you work out to really strange music and don't want to say so out loud. Just whisper it in my ear. You can trust us.)

Exciting News Update!

[Posted by Crabby]

Yippee, Cranky Fitness was on TV! And on the Web!

Or actually, from the brief blurry screen shot, it looks more like the blog Craggy Feelings made it on to CBS's The Early Show. This may explain why Statcounter has not detected any evidence of Early Show-related googling. But it was a kick to be included just the same.

The glory really belongs to Katie over at Sister Skinny, who wrote all the great stuff the reporter was raving about. Cranky Fitness was just glad to be along for the ride. Coincidentally, the other blogs that made it were all featured in the same Women's Health Magazine story! If you haven't already, be sure to check out the other great blogs listed there besides Cranky Fitness and Sister Skinny: Back In Skinny Jeans, Big Fat Deal and Lose the Buddah.

(Should we mention that Cranky Fitness isn't quite a weight loss blog? Nah. It'll be our secret).

So here's the link to the Early Show video. You have to go find the Blogging to Lose Weight video, which may still be on the front page or may not. And sorry, there's a commercial first.

Alternatively, here's a screen shot of the video playing on Crabby's computer:

We're Famous! Those are Our Cupcakes!

See? Since Crabby doesn't know how to photoshop, you know it has to be real.

But Wait, There's More!

And some further good news: Cranky Fitness was also just featured earlier today on the awesome Elastic Waist! Crabby wrote a guest post a while back, then kind of forgot about it, and now it's up there. If anyone has arrived from Elastic Waist, welcome! But beware: it's weird here.

Congrats again to Katie and Molly at Sister Skinny! And thanks everyone, for making this blogging thing so fun.

Treadmill Tips

[Posted by Crabby]

In yesterday's Ask Cranky Fitness post, Mary was discussing cold weather exercise and the topic of treadmills came up. Unfortunately, Mary doesn't have a treadmill and wishes she did. Crabby, on the other hand, does have a treadmill and sometimes wishes she didn't.

Since Crabby loves to give advice, and she actually owns the equipment in question, she thought she'd give some tips for those lucky enough to have some funds in the bank for a home treadmill purchase. (Not everyone does, nor do they have a place to put one, so Crabby apologizes in advance for her insensitivity about this). She also hopes those of you who actually know something about treadmills will pipe up in the Comments section if she says anything too dumb.


Home Treadmill Advice:

1. Consider your purchase carefully. Don't buy a treadmill, or any piece of exercise equipment for that matter, as a result of an infomercial. Especially not an infomercial viewed late at night in a guilty sugar-induced stupor following an unfortunate Ben and Jerry's incident.

A recent totally made up rigorous scientific study showed that 97% of home exercise equipment buyers felt like total morons. Why? Well, for not realizing that the reason they weren't exercising was because they hated to exercise, not for lack of proper home exercise equipment. It's much cheaper to not go running or not do exercise videos than to not use your treadmill.

2. Think about buying a Cheap-Ass treadmill. Not one of those totally junky infomercial brands, but a modest, possibly used or refurbished treadmill. Of course you should get on it and make sure it's not totally rickety, and think about doing some internet research on the brand. But one does not have to spend thousands of dollars to get a decent model. The Crab & Lobster's treadmill was purchased at a Sears Warehouse after someone took it back. Cost well under $400 and works just fine. Will it last forever? Probably not. (But who knows, they may invent cooler exercise machines in a few years anyway that fly around or something).

3. Treadmills Are Boring, Plan Accordingly! Though some may disagree, Crabby is of the opinion that home treadmills suck, relative to trails and paths and even sidewalks, as places to exercise. At least at the gym you can watch other people being miserable. So plop a tv in front of you, get out your best music, rent some audio-books, or whatever it takes to distract you. It's worth a little extra effort to make the experience more appealing, especially if you've just shelled out hundreds or even thousands of dollars for your machine and are growing to loathe it. Along those lines, you can...

4. Play Treadmill games! What are treadmill games? Well, these take advantage of the fact that treadmills allow you to control your terrain and tell you how fast you're going. So you can track your times and compete against yourself, make up little challenges, and generally just mix things up in a way that you may not bother to do outside where there are pretty things to look at.

So the inherent boredom of the treadmill can actually push you to improve your performance! Been wanting to try interval training? Treadmills are great for that. Or see how fast you can race-walk without having to look like an ass in front of people. You can alternate slow hills with fast flats; see how quickly you can run a mile, or how long you can walk backwards without falling over. (Crabby once read an article about how good running and walking backwards is for your legs--she gave it a try, on a treadmill at the gym when other people were around, which was not a very smart thing to do!)

5. Don't Wait for Weights! This is a favorite trick of Crabby's. One advantage of a home treadmill is that you can jump off for a minute without someone stealing it from you like they might at the gym. So Crabby will take advantage of the fact that a bit of strength training, done quickly in the middle of a cardio workout, will keep her heart rate up. It's two for one! (But not as intense as actual circuit training, which Crabby is too lazy to do).

Here's what you do: at some point in your cardio workout, you leave the treadmill running, giving yourself full credit for any mileage it records. This is important. Since you're still keeping your heart rate up, you're essentially doing cardio and get to count this time as though you were still running. Jump off the treadmill (not literally, unless you are very athletic), do a set of some yucky strength-training exercise in a quick but not too half-assed manner, then hustle back to the treadmill again. Slog some more. Wait until you get totally bored with the treadmill again, then jump off and do a different strength training exercise.

Strangely enough, through some weird workout math, you may find that miserable + miserable does not equal 2 times miserable! The cardio seems to go faster, and you have less to do when it's time to tackle those weights.

So, do any of have treadmills or other home exercise equipment? Wish you did? Glad you don't? Any tips? Comments are always welcome!

Ask Cranky Fitness

[Written by Mary. But then Crabby came in and messed with it.]

We Get Letters! Well, No, Actually, We Don't.

You have questions.

Cranky Fitness has answers.

Not necessarily the right answers, but let's not be fussy about it. (Talk to a licensed medical professional if you want to pay a bunch of money receive legitimate medical or psychological advice).

But first, a bit of Exciting Blog Background!

Long, long ago (on her second day of blogging, actually) Crabby tried to start an Advice Column called Dear Crabby. (Because it rhymed with Dear Abbby--get it?) The column ran exactly one post, then Crabby forgot completely about it.

Then Along Comes Mary (which is also the title of a song that was totally not about marijuana), and what is one of her very first suggestions? An Advice Column! Unlike Crabby, however, Mary actually did something about it, and wrote some stuff. We like that about her.

Anyway, Crabby will join in the fun eventually, because it's easier than writing her own posts. But for now, she'll leave Ask Cranky Fitness in Mary's capable hands.

And what if you find you have an actual question for the authors of Cranky Fitness? Go ahead and send it! We'll probably just ignore it though, unless it's the sort of question we can respond to in a silly fashion. We promise to be totally arbitrary and capricious in choosing questions to answer.

Anyway, take all advice with a grain of salt and maybe a shot of tequila.

Dear Cranky Fitness,

I've read about all these people who go running with their dogs, and how it's much more fun when you have a furry companion. My dog is only interested in sniffing the bushes and saying hello to the lady dogs he meets. What should I do?
- signed Bemused with Bowser

Dear BwB,

First of all, the Cranky Fitness organization wishes to be pointlessly intrusive and suggest that you have Bowser fixed. It might help with his urge to flirt. Secondly, is your pooch the right breed for a long run? Some breeds, such as bulldogs, aren't suitable running companions. If you've got a breed like a retriever, which can go for runs, take heart. They can be trained to run by your side, given time and patience. In an effort to help those who don't believe in patience, tireless scientists in white coats that tie in the back here at Cranky Fitness are doing research into a Rent-a-Squirrel(TM) apparatus, which you can dangle in front of your dog to keep him running. Until then, if you really want to run with a furry companion, and Rover is proving recalcitrant, try jogging in remote redwood forests.


Dear Cranky Fitness,

When is it too cold to exercise outdoors? I really hate the thought of using a treadmill when I could be out in the fresh air.

- signed, Fresh Air Fiend

Dear F.A.F.

The fine folks at C.F. base their estimate of "too cold" on California/Oregon temperatures and their own Sensitive Internal Thermometers. Anything below 55 degrees Fahrenheit and we're thinking dog sleds and Eskimos. For people in less friendly climes, here's an article that might prove helpful. We especially like the instruction to "think of yourself as a triple-layer chocolate cake." Any advice that involves chocolate cake can't be all bad.

So, clever readers, any thoughts about Advice Columns? Exercising with Animals or in the Freezing Cold? Or is there anything else on your minds? Tell us all about it!

Chocolate Versus Vanilla

[Posted by Crabby]

Do you have an opinion about the best flavor ever? Even if you don't, it's worth a click to check out the heated debate over at Puntabulous. The fabulous Bossy of I am Bossy trades licks with just-as-fabulous Puntabulous host, Craig. Poor Craig manages to put up a really good fight, even though he's forced to defend Vanilla. (No, not Vanilla the runner, who can probably fend for himself--even if he does sometimes wear a skirt).

Crabby had to vote for chocolate of course, and not just because she was sucking up to Bossy (being a sycophantic fan of her fine blog). If somehow forced to pick only one flavor for the rest of her life, Crabby would have to go with chocolate. But look above you at the cupcake banner--Crabby has nearly equal love for Ebony and Ivory when it comes to sugary goodness! (And yeah, this is a blog about healthy living and good nutrition--what's your point?)

In fact, one thing that bothers her about her cupcakes above is the fact that she would never bake (ha!) buy a "chocolate" or a "vanilla" cupcake if a mixture of the two were available. Vanilla cupcake with chocolate frosting; chocolate cupcake with vanilla frosting: these are what Crabby eats because the two flavors in combination are greatly superior to either flavor in isolation. Duh!

Can't we all just get along?

And in other Blog News, go visit Dr. J's CalorieLab column and you can win a hundred dollars! (Note: some personal humiliation may be involved--but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks!) Actually, you should go there anyway, because Dr. J has written some excellent columns, which will surprise no one who has gotten to know him through his comments at Cranky Fitness.

And finally, Kelly at Fitness Fixation, the most awesome fitness blog on earth, alerted Crabby to the fact that they now have Jeans that Come in Ass Cup Sizes! Sized, you know, like bras--but for your butt. (Warning: caution is advised for those who may offended by pictures of posterior cleavage. Come to think of it, you probably want to skip this post in Crabby's archives, too.)

And have a great weekend!


***Totally Embarrassing Addendum: Crabby was just skimming through the original Puntabulous post, and a comment caught her eye. It mentioned both "ebony and ivory" and "can't we all just get along." Problem is, the comment appears above Crabby's own comment, which means Crabby must have (a) seen it and (b) stolen both references for later use without (c) having had any clue she was doing so. Aaargh!

Crabby lives in fear of inadvertent plagiarism, as she has a tiny crab brain which apparently stores "memories of stuff other people wrote" in the same compartment as "stuff she just thought of." Crabby hereby apologizes to Dara as well as anyone else she has swiped stuff from without realizing it.