Guest Post: Talia On Working With An Emotional Eater

We're very lucky to have, for our next Guest Post, a Case Study by author Talia Mana. Ever wondered how mental health clinicians work with people with eating disorders? Well, here's an example! You may know Talia from her helpful and informative blog at The Centre For Emotional Healing-- which has WAY more actual information than this blog does. Be sure to check out the blog and her books.


Anyway, so, here's Talia!

Through The Eyes of An Emotional Eater

Jennifer has tried just about everything. She's been to Overeaters' Anonymous, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers and counsellors. She has even tried fasting for long periods though this isn’t an approach I recommend. While Jennifer lost a lot of weight during her fast, not long afterwards her old eating habits took over, and she started bingeing.

We talked about her perceptions about herself. For most of us our identity is wrapped up in the 'labels' we give ourselves. These labels can be anything from the job we do, to our relationships with others, our goals, our passions, our strengths or our weaknesses.

Are you a career woman, a mom, an accountant, a politician? Are you a failure or a winner? Are you a "fat girl" or a "pretty girl?" Think about how you describe yourself to others and how you think of yourself. When I ask students in my workshops to write down the labels they attach to themselves, many will identify themselves with their size or their eating. This is especially true if they have an eating disorder. They will say, “I’m a compulsive overeater.”

With Jennifer, it soon became clear that her identity is wrapped up in her opinion of herself as a wife and mother. Any time that she perceives problems in this area, she reaches for food. For Jennifer the state of her house is a barometer of her internal health. When her house is spic and span she feels confident and in control of her life. When dirty dishes accumulate on the bench and washing piles up in the bath she feels like a failure as a wife, a mother and a person.

In short, Jennifer overgeneralises. When something goes wrong in the area of her life that she identifies with she personalises this, and judges herself as a failure in all areas of her life. So if she’s a failure, she might as well eat, right?

You guessed it. When she doesn’t feel like doing housework, or is confronted with a messy kitchen she eats.

Here are some of her comments:

"If my house is a mess and I can’t keep up with the housework or I can’t get motivated to get it done I feel like I’m not coping in life."

"If my house is tidy I feel like I’m coping."

"For me cleaning my bench is a big deal. Some days I look at it and I have no idea where to start. Yet my daughter can come along and in less than five minutes she sorts everything out, wipes down the bench and it’s done. I don’t know why I can’t be like that. So then I start telling myself that I’m lazy, or that I just didn’t get taught right by my mother. She did everything for me as a kid, and I find it hard to do all this stuff. I don’t enjoy it so I put it off."

"I start feeling dumb and inadequate and then I need food to make me feel better."

"Even when I do clean the bench I feel like I should treat myself because it’s such an effort. I feel exhausted, so I sit down with a big plate of unhealthy food or a packet of biscuits and scoff the lot."

That’s only part of the story. Jennifer also has very distorted ideas about her role as a perfect parent. So Jennifer's homework is to examine her distorted perceptions.

We started at the beginning, by challenging her assumption that an overindulgent parent who did everything for her has created a lazy monster who is incapable of doing housework. Jennifer is still having trouble convincing herself that she can break free of old beliefs. She is very attached to her family and is having trouble separating today's Jennifer from the Jennifer of her childhood. She accepts logically that she's not the same woman--but emotionally she's still letting go.

She's also promised as part of her homework to not immediately dismiss positive feedback. When her husband and friends tell her she is a good wife, a good parent and a good person, she's too quick to find fault with herself.

Finally, she's working on understanding that the state of her house is not a reflection on her as a person. We know this is going to take some time but Jennifer feels that knowing that people "get" her and understand where she is coming from will help.

I hope sharing Jennifer’s story will help illustrate the impact that your beliefs have on your eating and give you some pointers to change.

Random Crab Facts, Part One: Names!

Note for those of you who are not regular readers: This is not a Typical Cranky Fitness post. Crabby is on vacation and is throwing any old crap up on her blog because no one is reading this anyway using this opportunity to introduce herself a bit more to curious readers! For those of you interested in actual health reporting, don't worry, it will return as soon as she is back. And we have plenty more guest posts to come during her semi-absence wherein actual Information will be Shared!

So the first shocking revelation: "Crabby McSlacker" is not Crabby's real name. If you went to Crabby's house and peeked into her mailbox, right before Crabby had you hauled off and arrested you might notice that none of the bills or junk are addressed to a person (or crab) known as Crabby McSlacker.

But here's where it gets even weirder: Crabby has not one, but two other names. She "writes" under one of them, and is known by this name among her writer and internet friends. She will even tell it to you now: she is Jamie Graham. For some reason, she likes this name. It feels like her "real" name. She has been using this name in various writerly and internetty settings for over a decade.

However, it is not the name she was born with. It is not the name she is known by among her long-time friends and family. She would perhaps like it to be, but she knows this ain't happening. Do you know anyone who has tried to change their first name as a middle aged adult? Crabby did not want to go there. Instead, she decided she would rather have Multiple Aliases and hence sometimes Multiple Personalities.

On the other hand, having multiple names can also be convenient. For example, the fact that Crabby's driver's license and the deed to the Crab and Lobster house and all kinds of other legal documents are in a different name than her blog? Sometimes very handy. Every now and then 'Crabby' encounters a Crazy Person who leaves nasty comments or emails. This would be a hundred times creepier if the nastiness were addressed to the name by which she could easily be located.

Do any of you have more than one name or identity? Do you have loved ones who have switched what they are known by and was it weird? Any other thoughts? (And Crabby has been so pleased (and amazed!) that nice readers are leaving comments even though she is in Slacky Vacation mode. Thank you all so much!)

Let's Get Physical--Some Other Time

This is a quick slacky vacation post to throw you all off guard. Is she here? Is she gone? What's up with that? Guess we really should check in every day!

Anyway, so a new study is out questioning the medical benefits of an annual physical exam. Apparently they're not really worth the cost most of the time, especially since preventative care can be delivered during other office visits. The article noted that most people came in for other medical visits during the year anyway.

The study's author said: "Although annual exams are not recommended by any major North American clinical organization, our health system is clearly devoting a great deal of time, money and resources to them."

On the other hand, they said "preventive physicals and preventive gynecological exams were the most common venue for evidence-based preventive services like mammograms and Pap smears." What the heck does that mean? So should Crabby keep seeing her very nice gynecologist every year but stop feeling guilt when she 'forgets' yet again to schedule a physical? Crabby should probably dig around for the real study rather than the summary, but this is not a real post and she's not really here so she'll leave that for more diligent health news reporters to do.

According to their numbers, 21% of Americans got a physical, while about while about 18% of women went in for a preventive gynecological exam. This apparently cost bazillions of dollars that could have been better spent on other things. The average physical lasted 23 minutes and cost $116, including related laboratory and radiology services.

Interestingly enough, a person who lived in the Northeast was 60 percent more likely to get a physical than someone who lived in the West.

Crabby thinks common sense should prevail here--a young healthy person without much worrisome family history should probably not be hauled in every year for a morning spent reading ancient magazines, an chance to model an ugly paper gown, and the opportunity to pee in a cup (or all over her hand, if she's got bad aim. TMI? Sorry). On the other hand, it's probably not a good idea to play hooky from the Doctor's office indefinitely, especially if you're getting on in years, have no idea what your cholesterol or other important numbers look like, and have family members who are in the habit of dropping dead at young ages.

Crabby always thinks of herself as the first sort of person, the healthy youngster, who doesn't really need to bother coming in unless she's sick (which she pretty much never is). But actually, she's getting to be more like person two, the middle-aged Doctor Avoider who should Get her Butt in for a Checkup Someday. So a physical is now at least on her to-do list.

So do you folks get physicals every year? Ever? Do you go to your ob/gyn if you have that particular set of equipment? Any thoughts or opinions on medical care generally or anything else on your minds?

(And Crabby hasn't forgotten about Crab Facts. Stay tuned... for those who actually care, some may be coming along any day now!)

Guest Post: Lily on Procrastination

So as Crabby is starting her Vacation and Vacation-like Adventures, she is not leaving you all alone. There will be plenty going on at Cranky Fitness, starting of with some helpful advice from Lily T. on how to avoid procrastination. Crabby has a big problem with this herself, so she really enjoyed this post and hopes you will too. You can find much more from Lily over at her place, Lily Loss Lbs! And now, here's Lily!


Getting Over Procrastination

I am a procrastinator. Many people believe that “laziness and complacency” are at the root of procrastination, but I don’t believe so. However, this is the most common excuse I’ve heard from others as to why they are not actively pursuing weight loss when it is on the top of their wish list. My aunt says that she’s “too lazy” to exercise. My cousin’s girlfriend Jackie says she’s “too lazy” to record food intake.

But there’s nothing “lazy” about these individuals. My aunt has two teenaged daughters, keeps her house clean, and works full time. Jackie also works full time and manages to cook for every picnic and barbeque that we share together. And me? Well, I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I’ve been quite successful with maintaining a blog despite the responsibilities of motherhood and everything else. In reality, I’m quite productive, doing anything but what I’m supposed to be doing.

Living on campus as an undergrad, my room was spotless, which was unheard of to my family back at home. In actuality, I didn’t have a TV to help me avoid studying, so my energies went to cleaning. It’s just that studying was such a chore, that in comparison, cleaning was a joy.

So when others or myself say, “I’m lazy” what we really mean is “I find that particular task way too unappealing and would rather do something else.” And here lies the true problem of a procrastinator. So how do we get ourselves to do what we have to do? Here are a few steps that I have come up with, using how-to books and magazine articles that I have complied on the subject throughout the years.

1. Stop criticizing yourself! We are our biggest critics, and to be honest that’s one sure way to NOT be productive.

2. Identify your obstacles. Are you afraid of failure? Success? Writing it all down will help decrease their power over you. Talking to an “understanding” someone about them helps even more. (Note: don’t talk to someone whom you know will only criticize you and tell you what to do.)

3. Be aware of how you use your time. You can do this by keeping track of how you spend it for a couple of days or weeks.

4. Don’t over commit. Don’t be afraid to say no! If you have too many commitments, you won’t have time for your project.

5. Breakdown your project into manageable pieces. If someone told you to move a mountain, you would have looked at him or her as if they were crazy. Don’t expect to complete a massive project such as weight loss with one fell swoop. Take your project one task at a time, while keeping your ultimate goal in mind.

6. Work on a have-to for at least 15 minutes. You should try to do this the first thing possible everyday. The hardest part of doing anything unpleasant is starting. Tell yourself that you only have to work on your have-to for 15 minutes. If by chance you get into a groove and want to keep working after the 15 minutes, then by all means do it.

7. Make time to play. Write down all the activities that you enjoy and do one at least once every week or even everyday. Schedule it in if you have to. If you don’t, you’ll start resenting your project and start procrastinating with activities that you most likely don’t enjoy as much.

So there you have it. I’m no expert or anything, but I do love those how-to books and magazine articles.

The Next Few Weeks: Don't Go Away!

Yes, it's true that Crabby will be posting less frequently and even more lazily than usual from now until Mid-October. Sorry!

At first she will be busy because a passel of Crab Family Members are winging (on Special Crab Wings) their way to Washington D.C. for a visit starting today. They will be staying at the not-very-spacious Crab and Lobster temporary residence, so this should be interesting! The plan is: get out of the tiny apartment as often as possible. Then, after the visiting Crabs all scuttle back to their own stretch of sand, Crabby and the Lobster will be heading off for a vacation of their own. (To one of their favorite places, hooray!) When that's over, they will be packing up and resettling back on the West Coast.

However, Crabby has some great guest posts lined up! (She can always use more, too, if anyone is still mulling the idea over.) And she will post a few things here and there to entice you to keep visiting. She promises her posts won't be the least bit educational.

There may even be a Surprising Personal Revelation or two, if Crabby doesn't chicken out. She is toying with the idea of becoming slightly less anonymous. (Not that there are exactly legions of Crab Fans pining for Crab Facts. But humor her here, okay?) On the other hand, it is also possible Crabby will re-think this notion and stay holed up inside her crusty shell for a while longer. But--should it happen, only the loyal readers who keep checking in during her "break" will be in the know!

Also, apologies in advance: Crabby is already way behind on blog visits, and will probably have to catch up with everyone when she gets back. And while she will greedily read every comment left on the blog in her semi-absence, she may not be responding much, if at all. Please leave comments anyway, though! Lots of people enjoy them, not just Crabby. And Crabby will giggle to herself as she reads them, even if she may not jump into the discussion herself. You can even respond to each other's comments and pretend you are Crabby, only funnier! That would make her very happy.

Crabby is nervous, of course, that if she's not here as much you will all forget you were ever regulars here. Please don't! A morose crab with no snap in its claws is a terribly depressing thing to witness. No one wants to see that.

So... don't forget to check in tomorrow to see what's up at Cranky Fitness, and thanks, everyone, for your patience!