Free Online Workouts and Other Gym Alternatives

Guest Post By Dave Smith

It's true, you don't have to be a gym rat to get in great shape! For gym alternatives that don't cost a penny, please welcome back Dave Smith who has some awesome suggestions. --Crabby

Gym Memberships Are Overrated: How You Can Get In Great Shape Without One

Last week I received an email from a woman who desperately “needed” to lose weight and had only a few weeks to reach her goal. She explained that while she was willing to do whatever it takes, she realized that her situation might be hopeless because she doesn’t have a gym membership.

A gym membership is a prerequisite for getting in shape? Really?

I know this woman is not alone because I’ve heard sentiments like this from many others in the past.

“I’d like to get in shape but I have no time for the gym.”

“If I didn’t hate going to the gym, I’d exercise all the time.”

For some reason going to the gym has become synonymous with fitness. I’d like to offer a few reasons why this notion is far from reality.

Rut-Buster Playground Workout

What could be more obnoxious than posting an outdoor playground workout when most of the playgrounds throughout the land are coated in treacherous ice and buried under 47 feet of snow?

Oh yeah, maybe posting La Jolla beach bike ride photos during a polar vortex.

Sorry about that. We've already established that I'm kind of an asshole.  But what's a thin-blooded weather-wimpy snow-bird blogger supposed to do when she gets bored with the gym?

Confession: Crabby is a Secret Swinger

 

You can't really blame me, can you, after so many years?  So yeah, maybe I wanted to mix things up a bit.

As I recall my first experience was on a lovely warm evening, after a glass of wine or two, accompanied by seductive music--what can I say? I couldn't resist!

I thought the Lobster might think my proclivities were too, well, weird and embarrassing, but once I explained she was surprisingly accepting, even if she didn't often want to join me.

And hell, now I'm shameless.  I'll do it in the morning, in a park, in broad daylight!  Even though technically what I'm doing there is against the park rules, but hell, what are the chances I'll get caught and punished?

Yep, after years of keeping it respectable....

Fitness Fantasy: Adult Playground

Cartoon courtesy of Joy of Tech

Oh dear.

I saw this cartoon and I laughed--but dang it, I've always had this little fantasy that someone would open up a new chain of gym-like facilities that were just big playgrounds for adults.

(And no, I don't mean the X-rated version of "adult," though no doubt the porn googlers will find their way here, what with words like "adult" and "fantasy" and "equipment" and "swinging" and all.)

No, what I mean is an actual play ground with fun adult-sized equipment. Is it just me or do any of the rest of you walk by kid's playgrounds and wish you could take a turn on the swings or the merry-go-round? I would, except that most of the stuff is too small and adults aren't generally allowed. I'd hate to break something or get arrested as a suspected child kidnapper or something.

So what would we put in our adult playground? There's got to be better ways to combine fitness and fun than elliptical trainers. Maybe we could start with some adult-sized swings and slides and rocking horses, throw in a rock-climbing wall and some pick-up kickball games. Or how about some of these?

• Pedal-powered bumper cars
• Or pedal-powered roller coasters? (Not real scary ones though, okay?)
• Trampolines combined with bungee cords suspended from above so you could really go flying
• Mini American Gladiator contests
• Bigger, crazier pogo sticks

The problem is, when I start to try to figure out how this would work so I can start a franchise and become a trillionaire, the logistics get a little complicated.

Would you sign up for equipment? Would there be time limits? How would you keep your heart rate up if, god forbid, it was time for the merry-go-round but other people were hogging it? Or would you have to pay a fortune to ensure that only a few people were using the playground at the same time so you wouldn't have to share?

Would you need helmets and pads? Would boys and girls play together? What about liability issues...

Sigh. Maybe the cartoon is right after all and playgrounds work better for kids.

What about you--would you go to an adult playground to work out? What would you want to see in there?