Live Longer, Stay Sharper: Now, With Substance Abuse! Er. Use. I mean Use.

 image via artstack

By Crabby McSlacker

This post is a classic example of Selective Reporting: You see some headlines you like, so you skip merrily over the exhaustive research and analysis you should be doing in order to decide whether they're even valid. So much more fun to simply embrace the results!

Welcome to Cranky Fitness. Perhaps you mistook this for a scholarly health resource?

Anyway, in the spirit of "sounds good to me"... How about a couple of studies saying that (1) drinking impressively large amounts of coffee every day may increase longevity and (2) drinking alcohol moderately, or even heavily, as long as it's not "excessively," may boost your chances of living to a ripe old age without cognitive decline?

Again, we are just looking at a few studies and ignoring for now whatever research there may about the downsides of these practices. But it's only fair, right? People who don't want to booze it up, or consume bucketloads of coffee, can find plenty of ammunition, pretty much everywhere, to feel smug about their lifestyle choices.

But those of us who do like to alter our brains with various chemicals, whether because it makes us feel happier, or more alert, or more gregarious, or less likely to collapse into a paralyzing puddle of depression because somehow we've come to live in a country governed by a belligerent orangutan...  some of us might appreciate a little positive news for once.

Summer's Here: Cheers?

photo: jamesmlink

By Dave Smith

This next guest post is brought to you by the awesome Dave Smith, who has helped us out before with great fitness advice such as his beginners' bodyweight workout routine. He was also a great panelist back in days of yore when Cranky Fitness had an"Ask The Personal Trainer" feature. Check out his informative site at Make Your Body Work, full of useful information and encouragement. And please welcome Dave as he presents some thoughts and research on Summer Adult-Beverage consumption!--Crabby

What I Learned About Mindfulness From My Birthday “Drinking Bender”

I've never been much of a drinker. I’m usually that guy who sips a glass of water at a restaurant (yup, every waiter or waitress’s dream customer). But on my recent 35th birthday I let loose and drank three entire beers (two of them being light beers) in one evening! A wild night, I know.

Goodbye, 2012!

Just a quick post to wish all a Happy New Year!  And to warn you there will probably some sort of resolution-related post Jan 2nd, as well as an announcement about the winners of the Awesome Sports Bra Giveaway.

And are we all grown ups here?  New Year's Eve does tend to skew a little more Adult that other holidays in terms of celebrating.

Where's the Giveaway?

Some Fridays we have giveaways here at Cranky Fitness, but I'm afraid this is not one of them. However, in honor of "healthy barbecue week" there is a George Foreman Grill giveaway over at The Juice. Isn't it, um, cute?


You can also catch Crabby pondering the impact of gender roles on grilling, or offering up sneaky low-cal cocktail recipes. Or are you parent, and already dreading the whole back to school deal? Org Junkie comes to the rescue with some back to school organizing tips.

And have a great weekend!

Atkins Dieters: Beware of Flashing Lights

Crabby has always been unreasonably suspicious of the Atkins diet. Apparently it's gotten much more sensible over the years, and it works for a lot of people.

Still, Crabby remembers all those early Atkins adherents who ordered plates of bacon and eggs and butter-covered steaks, scrupulously avoiding innocent food like carrots and apples. Sure, they dropped lots of weight fast but they looked so miserable. Any diet that deprives one of the occasional slice of bread or chocolate cupcake does not rank high on Crabby's list.

So forgive her if she found herself amused by this item, which reports an unfortunate possible side effect of the Atkins diet:

It could get you tossed in the pokey for a DUI.

Apparently the excess blood ketones that result from an incomplete breakdown of fats can be converted in the liver to alcohol, and can cause a false-positive blood alcohol test in someone who hasn't been drinking.

Do they serve no-carb ice cream in jail?