Test Post

We're going to back-date this, but if you happen to catch it on a feed reader before we delete it: sorry, to disturb you! We're just fucking around to see if "read more" is still hosed.

And Should We Also See If Our Subhead Coding Works?

Why not! Let's try it.

We need a meaningless paragraph of text here, since it's only a test post. Sorry for those of you who actually keep coming here and reading this. Please feel free to go about your regularly scheduled blogging activities. (With any luck this parenthetical should display on summary page above "read more" but also after the jump so you can remember where you left off... so, are we feeling lucky?)

So sorry this post remains up here long after we promised to take it down. If you're extra bored, be sure to say something extra silly, as befits a garbage post put in just to find out if blogger is still screwing with our code.

Fitness "Bargains"

[By Crabby]
This is not about financial "bargains," although I'm sure you readers have some awesome suggestions for fitness activities and/or gear that could save us a lot of cash. A future post perhaps?

No, this time by "bargain," I mean: Ways To Get Better Fitness Results for The Same Effort. Or, how to get the Same Results Quicker, or With Somewhat Less Misery. Whatever.

We all look for those "bargains," right? Because unless you love every aspect of working out and have unlimited time, there's usually a trade-off. You don't typically get something for nothing.

In fact, there's kind of a math to it:

(Photo: A.A.)

Eeeek, math!!!

Actually, no need to panic, not that much math. In fact the formula is quite simple:

Results = (Time Spent Exercising) x (Intensity); where Intensity=Miserableness.

At least that's how that generally works for me. I get better results if I exercise longer or exercise harder; the more I loaf and slack and leave early, the less muscle I build, the less endurance I have, and the fewer calories I burn.

But then there are weird exceptions to the normal math! Sometimes (Miserable) + (Miserable) = 1.5(Miserable); not 2(Miserable), as you'd expect.

Exploiting these mathematical anomalies is often the key to a fitness bargain.

(Note: And speaking of equations that don't add up: check out how sometimes 0+0=2 at The Hungry Little Caterpillar. A great reminder for overly optimistic Weight Watchers).

What? You Call That a Bargain??!!

(Photo: Zabowski)

Ever go to a place like Costco and bring home four gallons of extra virgin olive oil for the price you'd normally pay for 1 gallon? You feel so clever and thrifty until you remember that you can't get through more than one gallon anyway before the stuff goes rancid. Whoops!

Likewise with with fitness bargains. Some tips that sound great in theory will suck when you actually try them out. They might get you in shape faster, but if they turn your workout from a pleasant or only mildly dreary experience into absolute torture, then these bargains aren't worth it.

This means that you need to hear about a lot of tricks and find out which ones work for you.

And since I only have a few that reliably work for me, and long-time readers have heard all these already... I'm hoping some of our clever and knowledgeable commenters will add theirs below!

Especially since I'm going to concentrate on tips that begin with the letter C, for absolutely no reason at all except that the first couple did and I thought I'd make it a thing.

Oh Boy, It's a "C" Thing.
(photo: cobalt123)

And again, these are some of my favorites--can't wait to hear yours.


1. Combined Stretches

Does anyone else invent their own stretches that combine a couple of things at once? I know yoga people do combinations, but theirs are elegant and tend to take a long time. Mine are home-made and doofy-looking and quick.

Here's just one example: the stairway/doorway shoulder and calf stretch. Note: doesn't work if you live in one story house or don't have a doorway at the top or bottom of the stairs.

Position yourself on the top or bottom step of your stairway, facing upstairs. Put out your arms and grab the doorway on each side and lean forward, so you're stretching your shoulders. Meanwhile, scooch your feet back a little so that you can lower your heels off the step and stretch your calves at the same time. WARNING: if you're doing this at the top, don't go scooch back too far or you'll tumble backwards down the entire flight of stairs and break your neck and this time-saver will be no bargain at all!


2. Caffeine & Cool Tunes

I talk about these all the time so I won't belabor it. But the pounding beat of a favorite song and good solid caffeine buzz really does give me more energy and I can go longer and harder and get more done for the same amount of subjective effort.


3. Circuit Training "Lite"

The standard version, wherein you proceed through a strength training workout fast enough to keep your heart rate in the aerobic zone throughout, is a classic, time-honored Workout Bargain. You get your cardio and your strength training all at the same time!

Slight problem: I loathe circuit training.

It is too much Miserableness all at once; thus, for me, no bargain.

However, back when I was lucky enough to have a home gym in the basement, I discovered I could do a little informal combining and I came up with a routine that saved some time but that I didn't hate.

This is taken pretty much verbatim from an older post, but we all know that recycling is good for the environment, right?

It's Good to be Green!

Here's how you do Circuit Training Lite:

At some point in your cardio workout, get off your treadmill/bike/elliptical/whatever, but keep it running if it's motorized, and give yourself full credit for any time you're away from it. Since you're still going to be keeping your heart rate up, you get to count this time as though you were still doing cardio. Rush off and do a set of some strength-training exercise in a quick but not too half-assed manner, then hustle back to the machine again. Slog some more. Wait until you get totally bored with the cardio again, then jump off the machine and do a different strength training exercise.

It's two-for-one! (But, alas, this only works in a home gym or fairly deserted fitness facility. Abandoning your treadmill at a busy gym is NOT recommended).


4. Cutting Out Multiple Sets

One set of really heavy weights seems, for me, to do about 80-90% of the job that 3 sets does. So most of the time, I just do one. I save multiple sets for one exercise at a time, when I'm feeling especially motivated, but otherwise: screw it.


5. Chores

If you have a partner, particularly a male or stronger partner, it can be very tempting to delegate the "heavy" stuff that involves lifting or mowing or digging or schlepping to your mate. Or pay some cute yard dude to do it. But if you're lucky enough to have the time, how 'bout doing more of it yourself and giving yourself get exercise "credit" in a non-exercise context? If it's hard and physical, it counts!!!

Note: this is one of those tips I believe in but rarely do myself. I hate chores.


6. Commuting

Like doing chores, walking or biking to work (or on errands) is an efficient way to get exercise while actually getting something accomplished. Duh, right? Yet so few people who could walk or bike to work actually do. What's up with that? Some places are obviously too impractical, but I'm often amazed at what a minuscule number of Americans even think about leaving their cars at home. Then after work they drive to the gym so they can walk on a treadmill for an hour.


7. Cardio Intervals

Another great bargain--you can do incredible things for your body in less than twenty minutes. Downside: it's hard and that blows. But as many of you know, it doesn't have to be totally gruesome. There's a better way!

Think these are lame? Help me out with some better suggestions!

If we get a few good ones in the comments, I'll update this post later in the week and include a link to your blog or website, if you've got one.

UPDATE--Great Reader Suggestions!

Wow, some really helpful suggestions in the comments! Here are some, condensed and combined, but I can see now I may not get to them all. Better, fuller explanations are available down in the comments.

Theresa suggests doing push ups against the countertop while waiting for the tea to boil.

Tokaiangel is all about Running Up the Stairs.

KatieP suggests contracting ALL your muscles while doing strength training exercises, and standing on wobbly things to make it even harder.

Always the practical ones, Mary Anne in Kentucky and the Bag Lady suggest choosing strenuous occupations of the sort where you get a workout whether you want one or not.

Combining Exercises is a great idea! Jenn suggests squats with military presses or lunges with bicep curls.

Our very own Merry sensibly advises that you enlist a friendly canine as a workout partner, and Terrie Farley Moran suggests that Grandchildren also work well.

Circuit training is popular among those more energetic than the Crab. The Lethological Gourmet even has an Olympic Boot Camp circuit workout for you to try. And Mrs. Jelly Belly has an enthusiastic (and amusing) circuit training recommendation if you can track down the DVD by "Sunshine"-- it sounds great.

Geosomin does lunges in the lab, and takes the stairs two at a time instead of waiting for elevators. And another fan of gratuitous stair climbing is nolafwug, who thinks multi-tasking is overrated.

Liz Rosenbaum suggests squats while brushing your teeth. Similarly Sagan does calf raises while brushing her teeth, and jumping jacks/pushups while waiting for food to cook. And NewMe does calf raises while cooking and doing dishes.

Monica fixes her bike and gets exercise at the same time.

Grounded Fitness was too high on crack to offer specific exercise suggestions, but those yoga/pilates people seem to have the combining thing down pretty well already.

Katieo is trying to run faster, which is much more efficient if you can stand all the huffing and puffing! Likewise Mizfit, who often claims to be a cardio slacker, is nothing of the sort, as she combines regular cardio with HIIT.

Alexia shares a sincere appreciation of caffeine with the Crab.

POD suggests a pedometer and walking all over the place, as well as counter-top stretches.

Deb suggest something called a "Scuper-Scet" which sounds really freakin' hard like quite a workout. The full explanation is below, but it involves combining stable weight training exercises with a similar unstable ones until you're ready to die done.

Dragonmamma makes a great point about isolation exercises being inferior to exercises that work multiple muscles at once.

And the always creative Workout Mommy suggests "Child curls." (Just like bicep curls, but with a baby!).

Be sure to check the comments for more great fitness bargains as they come in!

Running Shoe Giveaway!

[By Crabby]




Cool, huh? These awesome Aetrex High Performance running shoes are up for grabs! Check 'em out!

By now, you know the drill. Details on why the shoes are so nifty and how you can win a pair can be found below, so Giveaway Skimmers, feel free to skip down.

However, those who are not U.S. residents, who are not wearers of women's lavender running shoes, or who actually come to the blog to read the ramblings of a Confused Crab--have a seat! Kick off whatever shoes you may be wearing, and join us while we discuss the shocking subject of:

Inappropriate Sneaker Love! (Also known as Kedophilia?)

I have to confess to a bad case myself. I love athletic shoes! Hiking shoes, cross trainers, even soccer cleats--but mostly running shoes. In particular, trail runners. I wear them all over the place, like a perpetual kid.

In fact my closet is full of them, help!

And it's not like I buy that many, either, it's just that I grow so attached to them all that I can't throw them away. Even when they have holes in them and no practically no tread left. When I can't wear them to run I wear them to walk; when I can't wear them to walk I wear them to do mucky chores, and when I have too many "yard shoes" I still hang onto them, God knows why.

Perhaps it's a related to my other shoe disorder: dress-shoe-a-phobia. High heels are particularly feared, but anything firm and tight and pointed and shiny is to be avoided unless there's a funeral or something.

No Thanks!

I was like that as a kid, too. I hated "school" shoes (I believe they were saddle shoes, back then). But my sneakers? Couldn't get me out of them. My Mom would try to throw them away when they were full of holes, but I'd dig them back out of the garbage again.

(They looked a lot like these except totally trashed).

Anyone else have this problem? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

So enough about Crabby's old shoes and the wonderfulness of athletic shoes generally. Let's talk about the Aetrex shoes and how you can win 'em!

About the Shoes:
These babies are the Aetrex z591 Web Runner for women. (I think the "web" they're referring to is probably not the World Wide Web; it must have to do with the webbing on the shoe. But heck, feel free to use them for virtual internet running activities if that's your thing). The shoes come in medium width; sizes 5-12.

To quote a knowledgable source, they've got: "supportive cushioning for medium and high arch feet, Aeromax mesh upper with Web Fushion Technology, Sky midsole for soft, long-lasting cushioning, Web Suspension Footbridge for reinforcement and support and PRS Midsole Technology for pressure relief. "

The Aetrex folks have been around forever, and have been well-known for their very fine orthopedic shoes and orthotics, but now they've apparently decided to take that technological know-how and stuff some of it into a new line of high performance running shoes. They also got something called "iStep," which is a "digital foot analysis device" found at various retailers, which can measure and analyze your feet and their issues and give you a"blueprint" suitable for framing, or perhaps more pragmatically, for fitting you with customized insoles.

To Enter the Drawing for the Aetrex Shoes:
Just leave a comment! Alas, the shoes can only be sent to U.S. residents, which is always heartbreaking, since we love our international readers.

A Random Number Generator will choose the winner Tuesday night, Sept 16th; winner announced Wednesday, Sept 17th. If you win, please email to claim your prize by Friday Sept 19th.

And have a great weekend!

What the hell do I do with all this Squash?

[By Merry]

I've been thinking. We need more recipes thrown onto the blog once in awhile. That stuffed peppers one has been really getting a lot of attention. (I'll have to go back and check -- did Crabby advocate stuffing in some illegal herbage into those peppers or is there some other reason it's so incredibly popular?)

It occurred to me that another post might be welcome if it were centered around recipes for... wait for it...

SQUASH!

Zukes are cute? Who knew!

Anybody who's got a garden and been foolish enough to plant one little wimpy-looking squash plant is now up to their uvula in squash plants. (Oh come now. That's a perfectly decent word. Honest.It's not the poor word's fault that it looks funny.)

Sneak Your Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night was celebrated a couple of weeks ago. (Note: the womanagement at Cranky Fitness wish to stress that they in no way encourage the Zucchini sneaking methods listed at Allrecipes.com -- but only because we don't want anyone to complain about us. They do sound fun.)

If you missed that, you might be in the mood for some ideas. I mean, these guys are healthy, they can be served in a tasty and tasteful manner, but even so... after a few back-to-back meals of these vegetables, you'll come to fully appreciate why they're named Squash.

Peasant women perform the annual Stomping of the Squash.
Coincidentally, peasant women rarely spend large amounts of cash on therapy.

- Cook squash with tomatoes, freeze for later on. Come November, it's dark out and rainy and you forgot to got to the store, serve this with some pasta and you'll feel virtuous.

Squash sauteed with tomatoes and basil; seasoned with garlic and rosemary; and finished with balsamic vinegar

- Make squash fritters with beer. I read somewhere -- can't remember the cook book -- that you should let the beer stay out until it goes flat for best results. Of course, this presumes you live in a household where you have beer around and more importantly where you can leave a half-empty can of beer out to go stale without someone drinking it or throwing it away (or both, hopefully in that order). There are various recipes out there for this; it makes a tasty treat. Not as healthy as some recipes, but it beats the hell out of deep fried twinkies. Really, doesn't taste bad.

- squash-with-basil soup. Can be served cold, which makes it nice on hot days. We still have a few of those left, don't we?

- squash cake. The nice thing about this type of thing is that you can grate the zucchini, freeze it for a couple months, and then whip up a healthy-but-the-kid's-eat-it-anyway cake. (I always feel more motivated to bake on cold Saturday mornings when the weather is horrible outside. Which it will be in a couple of months, I have a feeling.)

Anyone for the last piece?

- stuffed zucchinis! Why should peppers have all the fun? Hell, you can scoop out the squashy insides and use the shells for salad bowls or Mai Tai drink holders.

Carrots, celery, crumbled veggie burgers, squash, and spices in a baked butternut squash shell

- save them for a month or so and make... Carved Zucchinis!

Why should the pumpkins have all the fun?

And the fun doesn't stop there!

Start a new tradition: Hannukah Squash! They make highly original gifts.
Give Aunt Marge a gift she'll talk about for years.

Or not talk at all for years...

(Incidentally, I do love the word "Hannukah." I swear you can spell it several different ways and they're all correct. The people who thought up "obsolescence" and "chrysanthemum" should take note.)


What do you do with excess vegetables? Got any good squash recipes/gift ideas?

EIlipticals and Treadmills... For Kids?

[By Crabby]

(There are some here if you want one.)

Anyone happen to catch this Boston Globe article on fitness equipment for children?

Yep, that's right, there's a company that now makes treadmills and elliptical trainers for children as young as three.

What do you think?

When I read the article, I had mixed feelings.
My First Reaction: Aaaaahhhhkkkk!

Truly, I saw the headline and thought: What a f*cked up world we live in. What happened to the notion of "play?" Exercise is not supposed to miserable until you're an adult, damn it!

(Warning: Grumpy Old Fogey Alert)

I know kids are getting fat. And I know they need more activity. But not this way! What happened to playgrounds and front lawns and freeze tag and kickball and stupid dangerous made-up games involving jumping off of things and tackling each other?

I'd never trade the bruises, gashes, scrapes and stitches I got as a kid for hours spent in front of a tv, computer, or video game console, broken up by "structured" exercise sessions on a piece of equipment.



I'm not a parent, so I have no idea of how the transformation happened by which kids have been declared too fragile to "go out and play" like we did. I know you all think the world is much more dangerous now. Maybe it is. But I think it's more our thinking that's changed.

Here's the thing: Forty years ago, we still had traffic, pedophiles, rusty nails, drugs, bullies, broken glass, rattlesnakes, and even serial killers. We just assumed all the bad things happened to other people, and usually it did. Mom said "go out and play" and we did. We played kickball in the street until someone yelled "Car!!!!" We climbed trees and water towers and roofs where we didn't belong. We ran around not because we had to, but because we wanted to.

I know not every neighborhood is safe enough for kids to go out and play in. Yet doesn't it almost seem like the safer the neighborhood, the less likely you are to see kids playing in it? 'Cause they're all inside, or they've been rounded up and shipped off for officially sanctioned activities.

We probably had a lot more accidents and injuries forty years ago. Because, hey, every now and then it was your turn to jump off the top of a ladder with a grocery bag for a parachute.

But today the young 'uns are all completely safe and supervised. And a good percentage of them are fat and are going to die early of heart disease and diabetes or liver problems. Unless they get on a ridiculous little kiddie treadmill or hire a personal trainer or wear a pedometer? Yikes.

Sigh. The world's goin' to hell in a handbasket.

(This Concludes the Old Fogey Rant; you may now safely resume your regular blog reading activities).


My Second Reaction: Well, OK, Maybe in Some Cases...

On further reflection, and after a more careful reading of the article, I realized that there might be some times when having a kiddie treadmill or elliptical would make some sense.

If you're a busy mom, and the kids are watching everything you do and wanting to join you in your workout? Well, that might be a cool! And having their own little junior version might help keep them off your equipment, which could be an expensive/dangerous proposition.

After all, we buy kids junior versions of cars and vacuum cleaners and ovens and garden tools. As I recall, imitating adults can feel like "play" when you're a kid, even though the actual activities might be "work" for the adults themselves.

So if you're buying a kiddie treadmill or elliptical as a "toy" that your kid will enjoy, and you can "play" together, that seems pretty reasonable.

(But how "fun" is a treadmill gonna be for a kid after the first few minutes? Just wondering.)

So enough of the Crab and her grumpy-ass opinions. What do you all think?