Was it really a whole year ago that Cranky Fitness ran its first post even though no one was around yet to read it?
Holy crap, that sure went by fast!
For those of
Once you've done that, take the Cranky Fitness First Anniversary Quiz. Or just take it anyway and get a bunch of the answers wrong.
The correct answers will be provided soon, in the comment section, when Crabby gets around to rounding them up.
Don't feel like a quiz? Then just skip down and say hello to the Crab at the end of the post. Not a particularly flattering picture, but what the hell. It seemed like time.
How Well Do You Know Cranky Fitness?
1. Crabby hardly posted on the blog at all this month because she was too busy:
a. Giving birth to an 8 lb 2 oz baby boy;
b. Serving time in county jail for assaulting a mime;
c. Moving cross-country in order to walk on some rocks;
d. Auditioning for American Idol;
e. F*cking Matt Damon.
2. "Fran"; "Lobster"; "Moo." These are names or nicknames for Crabby's:
a. Sister; Favorite Dinner Entree; Rear End;
b. RV; Wife; Favorite Abstract Artist;
c. Mother; Favorite Cocktail; Dog;
d. Brother-in-Law; Car; Favorite Exclamation Whenever Directed to Do Something.
3. Short Answer question: Without going back to check the archives, what momentous event in Cranky Fitness history happened on November 22, 2007? _______________
4. What does "MUFA" mean?
a. It's a scarf-like piece of clothing worn over the neck and mouth to retain moisture and aid breathing in cold dry air;
b. It's a slang term for a common sexual act;
c. It's a really yummy sandwich full of fried things that has 47,034 calories;
d. It's a healthy oil that magically reduces belly fat.
5. What Do the Awesome blogs Sister Skinny, Back in Skinny Jeans, Big Fat Deal, Lose the Buddah, and a humble little blog called Craggy Feelings have in common? __________________________________
6. A "Slanket" is:
a. A piece of jewelry worn on the ankle that also functions as a pedometer;
b. A garment worn by celebrants of an obscure religious cult during sacred ceremonies;
c. A New Zealand brand of candy similar to the American "M&M;"
d. A young woman of easy virtue.
7. What do favorite commenters Holly and "Mary Anne from Kentucky" have in common? ___________________________
8. According to a news item featured on Cranky Fitness, the Pentagon once considered developing what sort of military equipment?
a. A bomb that would turn enemy soldiers gay;
b. A bulletproof bra for female combatants;
c. A genetically engineered army ant colony capable of infiltrating enemy barracks and devouring the human occupants thereof;
d. A shoulder-fired rocket that on detonation would emit an odor just like farts.
9. A highly disproportionate number of Cranky Fitness commenters are, compared to the general population:
10. Merry, being more ambitious than Crabby, aspires one day to complete a Century bike ride (100 miles!) and also to finish a:
d. An Entire Ferris Wheel Ride without Throwing Up.
11. Which of Crabby's blog friends lost a bet and was forced to teach a fitness class in a revealing Jane-Fondaesque leotard, complete with leg warmers, and pose for a multitude of humiliating pictures?
12. Which of the following search queries artificially inflated Cranky Fitness google hits for several months?
a. Lose Weight Fast;
b. Nude Aerobics;
c. Great Big Bouncy Breasts;
d. Humongous Penis.
13. Three of our favorite commenters are related to each other, though not to Crabby (that she knows of). Who are they and where do they blog?
14. It took a while to abandon the practice, because Bossy does it, it seems to work well for her, and Crabby is a great admirer of all things Bossy. However, a number of months ago Crabby realized it was time to stop:
a. Replying to comments in Pig Latin;
b. Composing blog posts in the nude;
c. Tossing off three or four Cosmopolitans before commenting on other blogs;
d. Writing all her blog posts in the Third Person.
15. Crabby just wants to finish off this post by saying:
a. Thank you everyone, it's been a blast!
b. Thank you everyone, you all crack me up!
c. Thank you everyone, you're a really smart, thoughtful group of people!
d. Thank you everyone, I feel like I've made some real friends here and you are all awesome!
e. All of the above.
It's been a fun year, hope y'all will stick with us at least a while longer!