April 07, 2008

The Crab is Back... Kinda

[By Crabby]
Fran The Van, In the Glamorous Winnemucca Wal-Mart

Thought You Got Rid of Me?

Sorry, no such luck! I'm back to blogging, sort of, in a half-assed way. We still haven't moved in to our new place, and still don't have reliable internet access, so I haven't had a chance to check up on all the wonderful things going on over at everyone else's fine blogs, nor to get to the backlog of email messages... And it may be a while before things are "normal" again here. Sorry about that!

So until I get more settled in, Cranky Fitness will be relying heavily on Merry as primary host, and will be featuring her excellent writing and a few more guest posts for health-related topics. My next couple of posts are going to be more of a more personal nature so I don't have to hang out at the Provincetown library doing boring research I can fill you in on how our cross country trip went! Because I know all of you possibly one friend or family member who still reads the blog must be curious.

Gratitude Monday

Over at the Goat's Lunch Pail, Leah has a great feature called Gratitude Monday. Now it's a bit too much of a stretch at Cranky Fitness to sustain Gratitude for an entire day's post, but I do feel at least a paragraph or two is order.


Huge thanks to Merry, to the awesome folks who wrote such great guest posts, to those who left comments, and to all those who stopped by while I was gone. I loved sneaking in for those few precious internet moments to read what everyone was saying, even if I didn't always have a chance to comment myself.

And a special thanks to those who wrote guest posts that didn't appear yet--some of the best ones are still on the horizon, victims of Crabby's overly aggressive Spam filter. These include posts by cool bloggers like Leslie at the Weighting Game! (And in the meantime, check out her pap smear post--it's not just amusing but also quite thought-provoking).

The Trip: Fast and Brown

This was the Lobster's description, and it is true that (a) we hauled ass and got here in a week and (b) there was not a lot of greenery along the way. However, the views out the passenger side window (where the Crab most often sits, being an anxious and not very adept driver) were often quite pretty, in a wintery austere sort of way. There were mountains and canyons and farms and hills and stuff. We even saw one of those Amish or whatever horse-drawn wagons complete with four dudes standing in the back wearing funny hats. (OK, so perhaps I'm not going to make a fortune in travel writing).

Roadside Attractions?

Originally we envisioned taking our time a bit more, to visit friends or see some sights or go for a nice hike somewhere.

But first there was a storm to outrun and then we just got too excited to see our new place and basically said, "the hell with the journey, it's all about the destination." We are so very Zen like that.

However, our first afternoon we did make one stop. Longtime readers may remember this post, in which I was trying to figure out how to deal with stuff in the basement we didn't feel like packing up.

Stuff like this:

Well, guess what? We found a really, really efficient way to deal with $103 worth of accumulated coins.

In less than 10 minutes we had no more pesky coins to deal with!

Are We There Yet?

Our cat Maile (aka "The Moo") has been an excellent traveling companion. She keeps us warm at night, exhibits patience during long driving days, and has limited her creative endeavors to only two original floor art compositions. She does have the nerve, though, to require water to drink, and we have now kicked over her water glass (she prefers it to a bowl) four times. Well, once, I knocked it over not by kicking it, but by dropping our recently-purchased camera on top of it.

All three of us will be glad to be living in a real house again.

So Why Aren't We Moved In Yet?

Once we arrived in Provincetown, we called the moving van company to see when during the three-day window our stuff would arrive. Whoops! Turns out they'd be a week late because the moving van was abducted by aliens somewhere in eastern Nebraska delayed because of weather or something.

The good news: we got to move out of the van into a cottage paid for by the moving company, hooray! The cottage was supposed to have internet access... but it's broken. So it's a return to sitting in Fran the Van, hijacking wireless yet again. Grrrrrghh!

A Nod to Health and Fitness

This is a health and fitness blog, so here's a tip when you're on the road:

Find a gym, even if it looks crappier than your regular workout establishment, and get a Day Pass!

We've gone five times now since we left California, and while none of the gyms were perfect, all of them beat doing jumping jacks at gas stations by quite a lot. Plus you get to skip random exercises without guilt because you can't find exactly the right equipment. Highly recommended.

(But before you hit the gym, even on a day pass, be sure to check out Charlotte's great post on what not to wear at the gym. Very Funny.)

Thanks Again!

I really appreciate everyone's patience while I get back on track... Health reporting will resume soon, I swear. Sure missed you guys these past couple of weeks!


  1. It's great to have you back and posting, Crabby.
    I'm sure all your moving in excitement will calm down right away and everything will be fine.

    Thanks for the shout-out.

    You make a good point, Crabby, sometimes it is all about the destination.

  2. At least Fran the Van knows were all the good wireless spopts are, in case you ever need them again.

    Glad you arrived safely.


  3. and us you as well.

    P-Town shall never be the same!


  4. Thanks Leah and Terrie and MizFit! It's great to be back and catch up with you all again. Been missin' it!

  5. Glad Fran the Van is holding up! My crapstick of a '99 Cougar is getting hauled into the shop today b/c I just learned I've been driving for, oh, 6 months with no tail lights. In Chicago.

    I seriously did NOT know what to expect with the heading "Fast and brown" but it sounds quite appropriate for such a grass-less journey. Here's to greener pastures! Drive safe and happy!

  6. um... what exactly is wrong with doing jumping jacks in the gas station parking lot? ;-)

    Glad to have you back. The guest posters were great but nothing beats the one and original crab.

  7. Wha...who? OH, CRABBY!!!! You're back?! Sheesh, we didn't even finish tidying up the place...

    Glad to see you arrived safely, and are back amongst us. We did miss you, even though Merry did a great job of holding down the fort without you, and the guest posts were all great.

  8. Oh lordy, I can't imagine such a long journey. Glad you've arrived safely!

  9. But what I want to know is -- why were you guys able to make it cross country, but the van driving your stuff wasn't? Wassa matta them?

    Welcome back!

  10. Moving company drama makes me hot under the collar. A week late for anything is completely unacceptable, especially when those "things" are all your worldly possessions.

    I say your new workout should be kickin' their butt.

  11. Congratulations on your arrival, even if you aren't officially "home" yet!

  12. Thanks Marijke, Bag Lady, Scrumpy's Baker, Marie and BunnyGirl!

    Leslie, good luck with your "crapstick of a '99 Cougar!" I must see a picture some day.

    And thanks for the tip Red--picking fights with big burly moving men sounds like a great workout idea!

    Merry--good question! Maybe the aliens particularly like to pick on moving vans for their abductions.

  13. Oh oh.. Crabby DON'T count the cupcakes... ;)

    Welcome back.. it's not the same around here without you.

  14. Welcome back! I personally see nothing wrong with doing jumping jacks at the gas station. It tells all the onlookers that you are slightly deranged and not to be messed with.

  15. Welcome back to this "home". ;-)

  16. Hilary are you at the cupcakes again!! Bad girl. :)

    And Gena--yeah, more than slightly deranged. But the problem I was having is that jumping jacks get incredibly boring after 50 or so. I always kinda thought they were fun but that was 'cause I never did very many of them. Even a lame-ass treadmill is easier to deal with.

    Holly, thanks! (And as soon as I get more organized, I'll try to send a tile picture. The bathroom floor came out great, the shower, a little less so, but overall we're pleased.)

  17. Welcome back, Crabby. Glad to hear that you all made it safely, and eventually your stuff will too.

    I enjoyed Charlotte's post, but some of her commenters are borderline cruel. Made me appreciate the civil atmosphere over here at Cranky Fitness.

  18. Crabby, welcome back, glad you made it safely across the country.

  19. Hi, Crabby! Great to see you! I know you'll be glad to be in a house again, and good luck on your moving journey! Sounds like you have a laid-back kitty. :) I sometimes wonder how our four would do on a cross-country move! Something tells me we'd need to go to the vet and procure a wee bit of kitty valium or somesuch. ;)

    Fran the Van -- that's cute! :)))))

  20. Always a fun read!!

    I believe in loyalty!

    Dr. J

  21. Winnemucca looks extremely glamorous.

    Never fear, we find the adventures of the Moo, Fran, and the Crab and Lobster very entertaining.

  22. So good to have you back Crabby!! Where would my dirty mind go if I don't have headings like "Fast and Brown" to make me snicker? I think I'm in love with your cat. (Wow, those last two sentences should not have been written together - I totally love your cat in a platonic way. Yeesh.)

    Thanks for the shout-out! Better luck in the slots next time;)

  23. Glad you all made it in good shape. Welcome home!

    From the It-Could-Be-Worse Files: at least you won't be spending a holiday in a hotel. When I was working at a boarding kennel in North Carolina, we had a
    familly moving from California who wanted to board their dog until their
    furniture arrived and they could move into their house, which they'd
    already bought (corporate move.) We took the dog, and explained very
    firmlly that they would _have_ to pick the dog up before the Christmas
    crunch began, because we were already fully booked. (This was in early
    November.) They said the moving company had promised they would be able
    to move in before Christmas. Two weeks before Christmas they called us
    to say that the moving van had slid off the road somewhere in the
    mountains, and would be late (beg beg, plead plead--yes we squished the
    dog into a kennel somewhere) and they spent Christmas in their hotel.
    Sometime in late January their furniture arrived, mostly undamaged.

    Keeping my fingers crossed for yours,
    Mary Anne in Kentucky, who has carried a total of five boxes into her new basement in the last two days. Aarrgh!

  24. (Whoa! Where did the hard returns come from in that post?)

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

  25. HAHA! Funny as ever Crab! Thanks for the smile - I actually tried to picture you (eventhough I don't know what you look like) doing jumping jacks outisde a convenience store in Kearney Nebraska. Good image, good image.

  26. Woo-hoo! Ze Crab is back. You're so brave and patient to drive cross country. I'd be a cranky camper...lol

    I can't wait to hear more details on what you ate during the road trip. The food offerings at the restaurants had to be interesting.

  27. That's the first time I've ever heard of a cat's water dish being made smaller, and STILL managing to attract electronic devices. Priceless.

  28. Thanks anonymous, Reb, Dr. J, Thomma Lyn, Katieo, & Charlotte!

    Mary Anne, oh my goodness. Either those folks were telling a whopper or I've got a lot more to worry about than I thought! I'm praying it was just aliens messing with the van. Our stuff won't be all that interesting to them.

    Thick Chick--Kearney Nebraska??!! We stayed at the Walmart in Kearney Nebraska!! And then the next morning we went to the Y there and worked out and hogged all the hot water in the showers because we really, really needed to get clean by then!!! Sorry for all the exclamation points, but it was a very nice, cheap, efficient stop for us and Kearney Nebraska is going in our Walmart Hall of Fame.

    And Stephanie, I'd be happy to fill you in on our restaurant choices but I'm not sure I want to confess our Dietary Sins--there were some healthy meals and well... some not so healthy ones.)

  29. Mary--I didn't realize that water-filled containers were electronic device magnets, but now that I recall how cell phones are drawn to toilets, I totally get it. Thanks for the info!

  30. " I'm praying it was just aliens messing with the van. Our stuff won't be all that interesting to them."

    But you see, Crabby, your stuff has lots of cat hair in with it. Aliens collect cat hair. (Just not from floors.)

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

  31. Mary Anne, oh noooo! Actually, the moving guys claim they're coming this afternoon--but perhaps they're really human impersonators coming to collect more cat hair straight from the source! Will hide the Moo.

  32. The Crab has landed!!!

    Nice to have you back, Crabby, although Merry and guests have been running the joint just fine.

    HOWEVER - I did see someone stealing cupcakes!

    But they gave me one, so I swore never to reveal their identity.

  33. Glad the trip went well, Crabby. Congratulations and good luck in your new place.

  34. Thanks Dawn and Dara! It's great to be (kinda) back.


Thanks for commenting, Cranky Fitness readers are the BEST!

Subscribe to comments via RSS

(Note: Older Comment Threads Are Moderated)