We are very, very grateful when people link to Cranky Fitness posts! And we certainly don't mind at all when folks quote a paragraph or two. But every now and then I come across an unauthorized use of one of our posts, where someone copies the whole thing and pretends they wrote it.
I confess, this bugs me--because strangely enough, the half-assed posts I write still take time. I hate the idea of other people stealing my stuff and making money off of it, when I can't seem to figure out how to make money off it myself.
But then sometimes I just have to laugh.
I won't link to the source, but I have to share with all of you a post I came across earlier this week. Though written by "Sebastin" it sounded strangely familiar... yes, it seems to have started off as my "One Rule for a Flat Stomach" post.
The post appeared on what looked like a normal English-language health blog with a professional, if unremarkable, layout. It was accompanied by the same stock photo (above) of the orangey shirtless guy that I used. Yet the post seems to have taken some strange turns since I last read it... I'm pretty sure this not quite the exact phrasing I used, is it?
One Rule for a Flat Stomach!
Really, there’s meet digit rule?
And if we study it, we crapper every hit a insipid stomach?
You’ve seen the ads every over the internet. They’re almost, but not quite as galling as the blackamoor with the fakest hunting wrinkles ever in the story of imitation wrinkles, who gets her grappling magically erased, over and over and over again. (God I HATE THAT AD!!!)
(It's true, I do HATE that ad, and who wouldn't? Blackamoors with fake hunting wrinkles get awfully tiresome. But: "We crapper every hit?" What does that even mean? It sounds messy!)
But wait, it gets better...
At small the “1 Rule” ad doesn’t commonly become with a picture, but it’s ease every over the place. It says there’s 1 conception for a insipid stomach, and you staleness Obey it. If you do, you module retrograde digit blow a day, or squad pounds in digit weeks, or 45 pounds in 12 weeks. Whatever. Bottom line: you’ll drop buckets of intumesce fruitful in no instance flat.
(Well that sounds kind of nifty! I'd love to lose buckets of my fruitful intumesce, though I'm not sure it's all worth it for an insipid stomach).
Just digit ultimate rule! Do you undergo what it is? Seems same if it was that powerful, we’d every hit heard most from other, more honored sources. But still… what could they be referring to? Could there rattling be whatever ultimate generalisation we’ve every been overlooking?
(Ooh, there's an ultimate generalization? I wish I knew which one it is. It would be so nice to have just one generalization to deal with every situation. Wait, I got it... is it... "Shit Happens?")
So improve your hands… (Virtually, that is–unless you poverty the folks at impact hunting at you funny). How whatever of you smart, educated, sophisticated, health-conscious, perspicacious Cranky Fitness readers meet couldn’t support yourself and eventually had to utter on the unification to encounter discover the One Rule?
(Oh dear. Readers, if you do decide to virtually improve your hands, or to utter on the unification--be careful! Watch out for those impact-hunting folks; they sound very dangerous.)
After dedication to myself, over and over,
(Now that just sounds like TMI. I swear, I am NOT dedicating to myself over and over, and if I were, I certainly wouldn't be blogging about it).
that I would not permit peculiarity intend the meliorate of me and beam reciprocation (and thus, money) to whatever sleazy entity no uncertainty lurked behindhand the come-ons, I eventually couldn’t support it.
(Actually, I know I wouldn't have said this. We at Cranky Fitness permit peculiarity, in fact, we are all in favor of it! Especially if it's intended to meliorate us. And please feel free to beam reciprocation at us, we like that!)
So you poverty to undergo what the info is? As a open service, Cranky Fitness module verify you, so you crapper refrain dirtying yourself by clicking on whatever of these slippy ads.
(Again with the crapper? The Cranky Fitness module is getting annoyed with all this slippy toilet talk. We may close the service to verify you if you don't stop saying "crapper" all the time.)
Hi Anna! Hi Pam! Hi Brook!
Here’s what happens when you utter on the “1 rule” ad: you commonly modify up at someone’s journal or scheme page. There you encounter discover the secret, which we module today reveal.
(Now I know exactly how it feels to have my scheme page modified up, and I gotta say I don't like it much.)
The info is purchase the correct compounding of coefficient expiration products. The queer abstract is, the products change, so the “1 rule” is rattling “many rules!” Sometimes it is an acai berry abstract and a colon cleanser. Sometimes it Wu Yi, or a occult fruitful executing foodstuff titled Slim 365. Do these products work? Well, they must, right, meet countenance at the photographic evidence!
(With all this "queer abstract" and "fruitful occult" stuff, how am I ever going to convince readers this is really a health blog and not a gay blog?)
Hey, Varla Jean, you're really not helping here...
Photographic Proof the One Rule Is Totally Awesome and Effective
What more do you need? Here is a represent of Pam Burgess, from Burlingame, California. She has 2 kids and a wonderful husband. She forfeited 45 pounds using a compounding of digit liberated effort products she saw on TV! Here is a represent of her in July and added digit threesome months later.
(Oh my. Now that we're getting into threesomes and liberated digits, I think I'll have to cut this short.)
It goes on, but I'll just leave you with the last line:
Ick, I see so dirty!!!
So does anyone have a guess about what the deal is with this? A translation gone bad? (English to Martian back to English?) Some sort of keyword-swapping search engine scam? Or maybe I was just hallucinating on acai berries when I wrote the post?