July 25, 2008

Giveaway & Poetry (?!) Contest

[By Crabby]

This week, we got cookbooks to give away! Two copies of Eat, Shrink, and be Merry to be precise, written by sisters Janet and Greta Podleski.

(Note: I think they mean "Merry" in terms of "happy." But who knows, perhaps if you make enough of their recipes, you will magically turn into our beloved and recently made-over Cranky Fitness co-blogger, Merry Sunshine?)

(Blue hair sold separately)

We can only hope, because with more Merry's around, I can be even lazier. Let the new Merry clones write all the Cranky Fitness posts, I'll go to the beach!

Anyway, while you may not actually turn into our "Merry," the book looks promising: it offers strategies for healthy living, nutritional advice, and a whole bunch of corny jokes and puns. Can it really deliver "all of the taste but not on your waist?" Well, I don't know for sure but it looks mighty tempting to find out. It has recipes for things like 3-cheese lasagna and thai chicken pizza and double chocolate cheesecake and boy, am I hungry all of a sudden.

"Shockolate Cheesecake"

However, there is some bad news about the contest: Yet again, one must reside in the U.S to win, or be willing to have your cookbook sent to some U.S. friend of yours. Sorry!

But now, on to the good news: You can win just by commenting (random drawing), or you can increase your chances by competing for a second copy in addition to the random copy. This second copy will be awarded to the best poem or haiku written about cooking, or attempting to cook.

I, Crabby McSlacker, will be the sole and arbitrary (and most likely clueless) judge of what constitutes the "best" poem, so be forewarned.

Are you brave/creative/bored enough to give the poem a shot? Your chances of winning will be pretty darn good, 'cause how many people are going to be sitting around this weekend writing poems about cooking? Think about it! But it's also great if you leave any kind of comment about cooking or anything else for that matter, and you'll be entered in the random drawing.

Contest deadline: Tuesday night the 29th, midnight EST. Winner announced Wednesday morning, and get back to us with your contact info by Thursday night the 31st, midnight EST or we'll pick new winners.

Note: and if you're on the prowl for other giveaways, Healthbolt has been doing a Sunday roundup lately; Mizfit often has them (along with excellent fitness advice), and there's a whole site you can visit devoted to online sweepstakes.

Let's see:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Too lazy to cook; he said ".....!"
He risked heart attack
With his fries and Big Mac
And fried chicken (it came in a bucket)

See how bad these can be? You can do WAY better than that!


  1. A true story

    The girl who we call Christine
    Was once a wee child of seventeen
    She bought her first pot
    (She planned to cook a lot)
    Unfortunately something important she forgot
    and there was nought but herself to blame
    When the price sticker at the bottom went up in flame!

    (And if that crappy poem wins, I'd like to give the book to Allison from Losing It.)

  2. I have this cookbook. Actually, I have all 3 of their cookbooks. There is some good stuff in there. And mostly not too complicated.

  3. Oh, dear. I do not need more recipes. No, no, no. What I need is to Stop Eating So Much, not More Opportunities to Stimulate the Tastebuds.

    But I'm obsessing about haiku anyway.

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

  4. SNAP! Crackle! Pop! Ah...
    Rice Crispies my gourmet dish;
    Soy milk tops it off.

    Two entries PLEASE!

  5. There once was a man from Milwaukee,
    Who could never pass up anything free,
    A cookbook, or TV
    It all had a use for this "cheapy!"

    I love random Friday, but Giveaway Friday is just as good ;)

  6. I'm going to have to go get one and see what they've got cookin!..

    Great article and I look forward to reading more of them...

    Get Fit with John Fit..

  7. Hi Crabby,

    Enter me now.
    A poem may cone later.
    And then, it may not.

    Terrie (who was always a big fan of random Fridays)

  8. I am not a poet, so I will take my chances. :0)

  9. My meat isn't done 'til it's dry
    If there's juice in there I'm going to cry
    My family, they quake
    When I cook them steak
    They'll all break their teeth, by and by.


  10. That really sucks that this contest is only open to US citizens, as those gals who wrote the cookbook are Canadian!!!!!!!!!!!! Sheesh.

    But good luck to all you folks south of the border - this is an awesome cookbook!

  11. I have this cookbook, so I'm not so peeved about being cut out of the winnings by living north of the border.

    It's actually really good and super easy. Even for me. And that's saying a LOT.

  12. A young woman got sick of her derriere
    And decided to buy it a carrier
    But no! said her doc
    Enough of this talk!
    It's a case of the more, the Merrier!

    Hey, I'm just saying. A poem can be really really bad. Hold your nose and plunge right in! Don't be shy!

  13. I have a husband who cooks
    He's got the moves and the looks
    He does it southern-style
    With cheese, butter and a smile
    And it's hard to lose weight
    With his food on my plate
    So we clearly need that cookbook!

    So I guess this is a double-entry, since Christine entered a poem on my behalf (I live in the southeastern U.S.). I had never heard of this blog until she alerted me. Can't wait to read through the archives!

  14. my husband made bread
    oops! t-s-p means teaspoon?
    too salty to eat

    (t-s-p is three syllables)

    True story - the architect didn't know the difference between tsp & TBn & we ended up with REALLY salty, inedible bread. but at least he knows now!

  15. there once was a girl on a raw diet,
    but she smelled meat and thought she must try it.
    so not to cheat,
    she ate raw meat
    and now she's glued to the toilet.

    sorry. that's gross. but i'm having a giveaway too! come on by! http://www.nowenteringmomville.blogspot.com/

  16. About my 12 year old Number Two Son, who does all of the barbecuing around here:

    The boy, at age twelve,
    Now has the grill of his dreams;
    So mom gets a break.


  17. There's nothing better than poetry. Here is my feeble attempt (and despite the poem, I really do like to cook and still eat straight out of my garden!):

    I've never met a food I didn't quite like.
    Even when I was an itty bitty tyke.

    I'd take a tomato right off the vine,
    Bite right into it, and declare it all mine!

    I'd say to hell with the cooking, I like it raw.
    But that was before I saw what I saw.

    A huge giant worm crawled out my 'mater.
    And now I make sure to get all my food catered!

  18. Inspiration from hubbies cooking:

    cowboy learns to cook
    pan is too hot, veggies burn
    oops, call it stir fry!

  19. Actually, this is sort of an anti-fitness haiku.
    (Chocolate has two syllables when I say it. Anybody say it with three?)

    Coffee and chocolate.
    Sleep, begone! these wonders say.
    Slowly, I awake.

    Mary Anne in Kentucky

  20. I've had two extremes at my house:
    A son who never stops eating,
    He's as big as a moose!
    Daughters who were finicky
    Married picky eaters!

    Now why would I want a cookbook?
    For the sake of winning online
    This would be sublime
    I could brag about my skills
    In the kitchen and the interwebs!

    (Call this prose or a long haiku, since it doesn't rhyme.)

  21. There are some great ones in here, this is going to be hard to judge!

    And thanks, those who've used the cookbook, I appreciate hearing your thoughts. I'm glad to hear that the recipes are actually easy to make--so many cookbooks SAY that but then they haven't met Crabby McSlacker in the kitchen!

  22. Crabby, you inspired me with your poem, and I set out in hopes to write one in kind. I hope you like it.


    There once was a man from Nantucket
    Who liked to catch fish with a bucket
    His plan would not fail
    Till tipped the full pail
    And with a loud voice he cried, "SHUCK IT!"

    (Keeping it clean here.)
    I'm having too much fun with this. I've got one more, and then I'll stop! ;)

    So you want to learn how to cook
    And may even like winning this book
    But one thing I've learned
    If the meal does get burned
    State proudly, "That's how it's supposed to look!"

  23. I'll just go with the one entry since I suck at poetry :)

  24. No interest in the cook book as I have recently gone vegan but I did mention you on my blog today.

    Just thought you might like to know.

    Happy Training,
    Love Jenn

  25. Fantasy fulfilled:
    To eat, shrink and be merry
    So I will enter

  26. Oh Crabby and Merry! I’m not trying to dodge!
    I’ve just been obsessed with my Rafa and Rog
    As they roar their way through tourneys and I keep hopin’
    We’ll see FEDAL finals this year at the Open.

    So I’m sorry for entering this time so late;
    My computer clock says that I’ll still make the date
    For your deadline, your drawings, your offers, your book –-
    ‘Cause I can boil water; I did learn to cook

    -- as a girl; my mom let me her prize cheesecakes mix
    (which is likely one reason I’m still in this fix –
    Trying to sculpt the physique, get more pep, get more juice,
    And the muscles more tight, disposition more loose)

    And when your own metabolism you need to please
    It’s a really prime time for some recipes.
    So now I need your help! I need new ways of cooking!
    ‘Cause how else am I supposed to get myself looking

    Like the WTAs look? Without any dopin’?
    (You see I don’t talk much ‘bout the girls in the Open :D)
    And catch Rafa’s eye? Rogi’s in his new sweater?
    Never be in that shape ‘less I learn to cook better.


  27. *sigh*

    Verse 4, line 2:

    It's a really prime time for some NEW recipes.

    Can't believe I mucked up the rhythm like that.


  28. Well, I just started reading you last night, and I must say, I'm already enjoying. So, I figured, why not give this contest a whirl, even though I'm new? Haha. Well, here we go...

    Now, I must admit, that my love does the cooking,
    And all of his food is very fine looking.
    But these days I find it's gone all to my waist!
    So a dieting cookbook we're in need of post-haste.
    And should my entry be the one chosen,
    Perhaps next he cooks, it won't be from frozen.
    Something healthy, and wholesome, and good for us too,
    That doesn't seem like diet food, even as we chew.

  29. Only Love

    Love can sometimes be fresh.
    Love can sometimes be new.
    Love can sometimes make you happy.
    And sometimes make you blue.

    Love is the light that radiates from your eyes.
    Love is your image floating in the skies.

    Love is true.
    And darling, the only love for me is you.

    by: Lamar Cole

  30. Our Love

    As long as there is love, I will cherish you.

    As long as there is life, I will love you.

    As long as the stars shine above, I will want you.

    As long as there are waves in the ocean, I will need you.

    As long as there is heaven above, there will always be our love.

    by: Lamar Cole

  31. The Night Was Made For Romance

    The night was made for romance.
    In the night our two hearts dance.
    Under the stars our lips touch.
    In the garden your embrace means so much.

    The night was made for love.
    Our hearts cooing like a white dove.
    Your eyes sparkling like diamonds so white.
    I love you darling with all my might.

    The night was made for caring and trust.
    And darling, God made this night for us.

    by: Lamar Cole

  32. My Love

    My love sails on blue waters.
    Blue waters of your heart.
    My love dances on the wind.
    The wind of your soul.

    My love is a true reflection.
    Reflection of your eyes.
    My love will live forever.
    In your body and soul.

    by: Lamar Cole

  33. Your Love

    Your love is like diamonds.
    That sparkle in the night.
    Your love is like the stars.
    That shine so bright.

    Your love is like the wind.
    That feels so cool.
    Your love is like icecream.
    That tastes so smooth.

    Your love is like the sky.
    That is so blue.
    Your love is like a bright sunny day.
    That makes the world seem new.

    by: Lamar Cole


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