September 14, 2007

Urinal Lot of Trouble Now...

It's Random Friday, Special Tasteless Edition!

It had to happen eventually: Cranky Fitness descends to bathroom humor to fill out a Friday post. However, don't panic: the actual urinal pictures don't appear until the end and you can cut away well before that and go visit a much more grown up health blog.

Like for instance, That'sFit, where Crabby stole noticed these three items:

Apparently this past Wednesday was declared Sex Day in Russia, as couples in the Ulyanovsk region were given the day off work in order to, well, do their best to personally boost declining population numbers. For those with excellent timing, prizes like cars, or TV's will be awarded to reward couples who give birth exactly nine months later on "National Day." Quoth the Dude in Charge: "If there's a good, healthy atmosphere at home within the family, if the husband and wife both love each other and their child, they will be in good spirits... so there'll be a healthy atmosphere throughout the country!"

On the other hand, there's this depressing statistic: One in ten American women smoke while pregnant! Actually it was even worse than that: 22% smoked at least sometime during their pregnancy, and 12% were classified as nicotine dependent. The smokers also suffered high rates of depression which made it harder to quit. Reading this, Crabby found herself suffering a sudden high rate of depression and the emergency administration of Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds was required. (Is there a Patch for that?)

But on a more cheerful note, folks in Baltimore have been taking advantage of free exercise equipment stationed around Druid Park, including rowing, elliptical, back and leg press machines. Crabby will try to stow her usual pessimism and assume the absence of vandalism and the existence of magical Equipment Maintenance Fairies (or perhaps Druids?) to keep the things in working order. Or perhaps these machines function differently than the ones in her gym and do not break down ever three minutes.

And a couple more quick heath notes for women: First, get some sleep! Women are much more susceptible than men to blood pressure problems if they don't get more than 5 hours of shut-eye every night. And second, if you take the Pill and are worried about cancer--a new study suggest that cancer risk may actually be slightly reduced among Pill takers, at least for those taking it fewer than eight years. The study looked at data from 46,000 women over 36 years, back far enough to include years when the dosage was much higher than it is now. It also appeared the protective effects lasted at least 15 years after stopping.

Enough health? Now on to the Usual Randomness! (And the first few aren't even tasteless).

For those who haven't already found this over at The Goat's Lunch Pail or at Women of Mystery, there is a quick, fun, and often Weirdly Accurate Personality Test that tells you what famous novel you most resemble. There are only six questions to answer, and the answers tend to be put in mostly flattering terms, so there's little to fear!

Unfortunately, Crabby has been alerted to another funny blog, and she's not sure she she's supposed to get anything done if she keeps reading random posts and laughing and being overcome by murderous jealousy hearty appreciation and everything. (The culprit who alerted her was Vanilla over at Half-Fast, but Crabby is not even going to link to him again because he's going to think she's stalking him. But you know where to find him, or if you don't--just keep refreshing this page and adding to Crabby's Page View statistics looking for his blog until it magically appears in the blogroll over on the side bar).

This Awkwardness Survival Guide is also quite amusing, as it includes instructions on what to do in quite a few uncomfortable situations, including when:

"A waiter entreats you to enjoy your meal and you respond with 'you too;'

"Out of habit, you end a phone conversation with 'I love you' when not talking to your significant other; or,

"You call your teacher 'mom.'"

Crabby has done many of the Embarrassing Things listed, so she found it reassuring to discover there were others out there just as clueless.

And so, now to the Potty-related Part of the Post!

First up, Jennifer at Off-Beat Homes brings us, for real, plans for building The Poop House. She asks if you'd ever consider living there. Crabby says, "No Way in Hell!"

And then The Lethological Reader introduces us to A Perplexing new Product: Pee Powered Batteries!

And next are two pictures of Urinals, one that Crabby found Amusing, and the other Downright Offensive! Try to guess which is which, and feel free to tell her what you all thought, as well as sharing any thoughts, feelings, opinions, or off-color jokes or whatever else you may have going on in your Clever Creative minds!

First Urinal, photo courtesy of NerdTests:

Second Urinal, brought to you by Gadling:

And have a great weekend folks!


  1. Great post (and post title) as always, Crabby, with very amusing links. Thanks for making Fridays particularly fun.

    That second urinal pic is indeed offensive and shows quite the lack of R-E-S-P-E-C-T... sung by Urethra Franklin (with Peebo Bryson).

    I'll stop now. :) (bladder late than never)

  2. Thanks for the link love, Crabby.

    " . . . the emergency administration of Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds was required."
    Please carry them with you at all times.

    Don't know about you, but offensive as it was, I found that second urinal funny.
    In a related matter, you might be amused by the Freshette (R TM whatever) a device made of a small cup a with a plastic straw. Said straw snuggles into the cup, which in turn snuggles against the body thus allowing women to pee standing up. Now we women can write our names in the snow!
    I have one. I have used it. It takes some mental adjustments. Good for camping and travel.
    And in closing, oh, those Russians.

  3. I took the book quiz and got The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe.

    I am rather less than pleased about being compared to a Christian allegory. :p

  4. I could have been first to comment, but I had to go take a shower...
    At first glance, I was offended by the second photo, too, until I got thinking about it. Do those big teeth snap shut when the urinal flushes? ;) Personally, I wouldn't be able to use either one - I can't use a public washroom when I think someone else might actually HEAR me tinkle, let alone with all those eyes watching! And I would be deathly afraid of those teeth!! Oh, and those Freshettes (which Leah kindly introduced me to 'cause I'm a city girl at heart and absolutely HATE to drop'n'squat in the bush which is sometimes unaVOIDable when you're drinking beer on a cattle drive...) oops, got distracted...those Freshettes take more getting used to than I had the patience for.
    Great post, though, Crabby. The part about women who don't get enough sleep having high blood pressure...mine should be through the roof!

  5. Women's bathrooms are never that exciting. Then again I'm not sure I'd sit on something shaped like a mouth, but I might.

    And seriously, stop sending me to other blogs I'm trying to get some work done! :)

  6. Ulp!! I'm not sure I could go into those urinals. Now, those urinals with the fly painted on the inside, that's fun...

    I'm not sure about the urine batteries either. I have a hard enough time in control while Filling The Cup for medical checkups - overflowing the battery, getting shocked, umm, no thanks.

    Thanks for the hint about Half-Fast - now I know that I'll be running 2,561 Wienermobiles on Sunday. I can hardly wait!

  7. I so wish they'd have a day off to have funky sex day here in canada.
    Sharing the love counds like a great idea!

    I have low blood pressure...does that mean I should stay up later? :P

  8. Russia? Who knew?! And the urinals! Hilarious! Friday is off to a great start, already!

  9. Too bad Sex Day involves moving to Russia...and having more children. I would rake in the prizes! sigh. I know, I know, tmi, but even my doctor calls me "fertile myrtle." I can predict with alarming acuracy the due dates of my children.

    Lawson's do Dallas is now going into my daily reads. I laughed my butt off. (Vanilla, do you know them personally?)

    (Glad to see I'm not the only one worried about stalking...heh heh.)

  10. Crabby,

    Thank you for the link to women of mystery.

    As usual the Friday posts are terrific. so many links, so little time . . .

    should the bag lady come back, I'd like to answer her question from yesterday.

    The Naked Cowboy is a guy who struts around Times Square (where else?) in his underwear, (white briefs, not boxers) boots, a cowboy hat and a guitar. He has been around for years and is quite a tourist attraction unto himself. He is very friendly and will pose for pictures, sing you a song, etc.

    Just another grand New York institution.

    Have a great weekend everyone!


  11. Hey Chicken Girl,

    I took the book quiz too, and ended up with The Poisonwood Bible!! :P

    Now I'm going to have to read it I guess....Do all the books have some kind of religious connotation?

    Also, Bag Lady, the Naked Cowboy's underwear has "Naked Cowboy" painted across the butt. Just in case there's any confusion.

    As for you, Miss Crabby, thanks to you I've been sitting here chortling in my cubicle all morning. Thank goodness most everybody is out for Rosh Hashanah.

    It was the awkwardness guide that really got me.

  12. Terrie & Melissa: Thanks for the education! Actually, my ever-practical cousin, Leah, emailed me a link to the Naked Cowboy so I could see for myself, and, I gotta tell ya, girls; he's got nothin' on MY cowboy!! Wish I could share a photo of him with you. (It's his birthday today, so I have to say nice things about him!) Gotta go bake a cake now. Thanks again. Crabby, you've got great people hangin' out here!

  13. Ha! I love silly bathrooms.

    And apparently, I'm T.S. Eliot's "Prufrock and Other Observations". Not sure how I feel about that, heh.

  14. Hey Crabby, do you live in Baltimore? I lived in Maryland for 9 years and Baltimore City for 2. Fun times!

  15. Hilary, I knew I could count on you for at least one pun but I didn't expect three! Way to "go!"

    Leah, thanks for bringing the book quiz to my attention--you got a great one--wish I was To Kill a Mockingbird! And as a person who does a fair amount of hiking, the Freshette sounds intriguing, but I'm not quite sure I'd trust it not to leak and make an even bigger mess than my usual peeing on my shoes!

    ChickenGirl--That's indeed a funny one for you! But at least it was a fairly entertaining book (though I haven't read since I was a little kid & didn't "get" what it was really about. And missed the movie.)

    Bag lady, I'm with you on the public urination issue. And I've never understood why men, who seem so much more uneasy with viewing any kind of male nudity in general, don't have all their facilities enclosed in private stalls like we do! And you're right, maybe those mouth urinals are really an artistic statement on men's unconscious castration fears!

    Amanda--I suspect few men's bathrooms are quite that decorated, so we're probably not missing much. I do like whimsical bathrooms, but might be hesitant to sit down on an open mouth!

    Hi Quito! Gosh, we miss out on all the fun, as there are no painted images on any of our facilities! And that post at Half Fast had some other amusing statistics, one of which would have made me really uncomfortable if I were a guy.

    Back in a bit...

  16. Re: my "being" The Poisonwood Bible:

    Because of some stirring in my memory I went and looked up (author) Barbara Kingsolver, and sure enough, we both grew up in rural Kentucky!!! How eerie is that?

  17. ahaha - I've done the "you too" to the waitress many times before - then I start looking for my "LAME" stamp to go on my forehead.

  18. i dont think its that offensive, unless your a cross dressing professional circus clown. lol. just kidding.

    awesome post, so much to take in.

  19. I understand your offended reaction, Crabby. No one should treat Mick Jagger's lips like that. The man is a legend.

  20. Katieo - I don't know Amy from Lawsons do Dallas personally, but I consider her one of my very best cyber friends. I've never met her but have e-mailed her on occasion and have linked to her blog frequently. She is hilarious.

    About the urinals: I'm not so sure that the second picture is urinals. It looks like they are at a bar not in a bathroom. Notice the chair and footbar as well as the bottles behind the counter. If I had to guess I'd say that was a tasting room, for wine tastings and such and those "urinals" are actually for pouring out any wine samples that you don't like.

    If I'm wrong and the are urinals then yes, that's pretty gross.

  21. I thought both those urinals were mighty funny. But then again, I wouldn't be able to pee in them, so I guess it's easy for me to be amused about it...

    Thanks for the link, Crabby!

    I came up with Love in the Time of Cholera on first try. So I backed up and tried a slightly different answer and ended up even worse - Lolita! Ack! But hey, I guess at least I'd have some fun in Lolita, right? :)

  22. Geosomin, I love the idea of a Canadian Sex Day!

    Hi Soap box girl--Urinals are indeed a great way to start a Friday, though I'm not sure why that would be!

    Katieo, I totally cracked up at your comment. No, "fertile Myrtle" is not tmi, it's hilarious!

    Terrie, great explanation of the Naked Cowboy. Ain't New York grand?

    Melissa, though Poisonwood Bible wasn't one of my favorites of hers, Barbara Kingsolver is awesome so I think it's cool that you share personality traits with her! The Bean Trees and its sequel was a great read, and her nonfiction is good too.

    bag lady, wish him a happy birthday for us!

    Lisa, you got a Very Classy one! I remember really thinking it was awesome once some professor explained the whole thing.

    hlh, no, sorry, but have visited and it's a great city!

    Off again, shall return..

  23. Very cool, Melissa!

    Bridget, I want one of your "lame" stamps because I could sure use it on so many occasions!

    Israel, yeah, actually, if it's a clown mouth rather than a woman's, I'm all for it! (We have a rather vocal anti-clown contingent on this blog for some reason, so I have plenty of company!)

    Jim, I like that theory too! But don't worry about Mick, he's pretty adventurous, I imagine he's probably swallowed way worse. (Prefer to think of it as clown lips now, though, thx to Israel).

    Hi Vanilla! Thanks so much for the tip about Amy's blog.

    And here's a bit more on the actual urinality of the urinals:

    urinal auction

    Hi Leth--well Lolita is quite an interesting one to come out with! I have STILL to read that book and I've always meant to. It's supposed to actually be pretty great.

  24. Wow. I stand corrected. Perhaps I just didn't want it to be true that they really were urinals.

    Thanks for ruining my misperceptions. ;)

  25. wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute

    How come there are no novel overlaps? Is this site just randomly churning out novel titles? You'd think some of us would have similar personalities, based on just six questions or whatever it was.

    Not to be a party pooper or anything, and I still intend to read "my" book.

  26. Crabby! Thanks for the link!!!! I owe ya one :o)

  27. I've taken that book quiz before, and I get different results depending on the mood I'm in when I take it. Today, I got Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut. Whoa Nelly! I've never got that before. I must be in a weirder mood today than I'd thought. ;-)

  28. And now it's time for me to get in trouble with Crabby and have her tell me to remove the link to her blog from mine because she doesn't want anything to do with me ever again.... Crabby, I smoked for all but the 7th month of pregnancy. I went full term and had a beautiful, healthy, and now old enough to be showing his smarts 8 pound 8 ounce baby boy. Also, nicotine has been REMOVED from the list of dangerous substances for the baby to be during pregnancy by the American Academy of Pediatrics. There is no conclusive information (over the course of the past 20 years) to substantiate claims that babies exposed to nicotine in the womb are less healthy than babies without that exposure. Now, I'm not proud of my smoking and I will quit when I'm ready, but there are certainly worse things in the world than cigarettes. Sorry to take up so much space, but I have a friend who's really feeling down because on top of dealing with a crazy X, someone she respected scolded her about being a bad mom, a smoker, and a hypocrite. Anyhoo, try not to be too mad at me.

  29. Hi Vanilla and Melissa, thanks for stopping back again!

    Hi Thomma Lyn!
    Wow, you must have a very flexible personality! Wouldn't have pegged you for a Vonnegut type but it's is indeed an interesting outcome!

    Thank you, Amy, for having such an entertaining blog!

    I never get mad at nice folks who disagree with me and want to explain their views, I think it's great! However, just the first couple links I found made me feel like there definitely is research backing up that it's dangerous to smoke while pregnant, and frankly, it seems logical if the tobacco contains all those toxic chemicals that kill adults eventually you would not want to expose a developing fetus to them. Here's a couple links, but it sounds like you've found at least one source that disagrees. March of Dimes, and
    Center for Disease Control.

    And I don't want to make you mad either by saying this, but I think that parenting is a choice that involves a series of huge sacrifices, and that people who are addicted to cigarettes might, in general, be better off waiting to have kids until they're ready make the first major one and quit smoking. (Of course that's a lot easier to say if you don't smoke). An it's great that you're baby was born healthy--but I still believe it's taking a risk.

  30. Thanks for not being mad! I really love your blog and am considering submitting an article for your review for the guest posting. Thanks for sharing the links, as I said, I'm NOT proud of the fact but I am very physically and emotionally addicted. I WILL work on this, but one thing at a time. Now for the part where I potentially irritate you. My Dr. advised AGAINST me quitting smoking while I was pregnant. He said the withdraw would also occur in the baby and could terminate the pregnancy. As for planning... well, we were trying to plan, things just happened out of order. We were pleasantly surprised and of course wouldn't trade our precious gift for anything. One thing at a time, always overall forward progress, perfection can never be achieved but we must constantly strive for it.

  31. The link to the Awkwardness Survival Guide couldn't be funnier! Thanks.

  32. Christina, sorry somehow I totally missed your comment! And I'd never heard of a doctor advising someone not to quit, but I honestly don't know all that much about prenatal health and it makes total sense to do what your doctor advises. So glad it all worked out!

    I thought it was pretty funny too. And as a socially awkward person, I could totally relate. Thanks for stopping by!


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