If you are not a regular reader of Cranky Fitness, but have arrived here instead on a google search hoping to learn how to earn some money:
Ha ha ha ha ha! Tee hee hee. That's a good one.
Sorry, that wasn't very nice. Crabby lured you here on False Pretenses. She has no idea in hell how people make money doing this. But if you skip down to the bottom of this post, someone who claims to know has written a book giving away all the secrets to blog monetization!
Quick, hurry, before all the copies are gone!
(Thundering sounds of footsteps. Fading now... All quiet.)
Whew, are the Googlers gone? Is it just us again? Excellent.
So now Crabby will try to explain (1) Why there are suddenly Amazon Ads all over the place instead of Adsense Ads; and (2) What each of them do. Originally she also planned to explain (3) Why she's willing to be such a shameless Product Whore in the first place. But she couldn't think of a good reason, other than that she's greedy and delusional, so she decided to drop part (3) of the post.
Anyway, as regulars may have noticed, all the weird Adsense ads are gone. ("Milkatraz?" WTF was that about?) Crabby knew they wouldn't make much money. She's still just a tiny blog, after all. But she had no idea they'd be so stupid and repetitive and unappealing! And gosh darn it, her readers may be Cranky but they're not all Old.
Perhaps if she hosted a better, hotter, more exciting blog, Adsense would have sent her better, hotter and more exciting ads. But Cranky Fitness is just Cranky Fitness, and the ads sucked, so they're gone now.
So now the Crab House is plastered with Amazon ads instead. They probably won't earn Crabby any money either--people actually have to order stuff off of them, not just click on the ads, and realistically, how often is that going to happen? But a Crab can dream.
The Amazon Ads, while likely off-target much of the time, do seem to offer greater variety and flexibility than Adsense. Crabby fantasizes that one day, a Needful Reader might actually encounter a Helpful Product, fall in love, and generate a "win-win" situation for everyone!
(Crabby blames her Most Significant Other, a successful businessperson, for making terms like "monetize" and "win-win" sound like actual English to Crabby's ears).
So here's what Amazonian fun we've got going so far. But of course Crabby is still messing around with all this, so it could be completely different tomorrow.
First off, there's a big "Omakase" ad on the sidebar. (Omakase means something in Japanese but Crabby can't remember what. "Easy Code for Lazy Bloggers," she thinks is how it translates). This ad is supposed to magically factor in both the contents of the blog as well as the preferences of readers who already have accounts with Amazon.
Does it? Crabby doesn't know what wild-ass junk you folks might see. For her, Amazon is pretty much ignoring the contents of blog. Health and Fitness? Hello Kitty? Lithuanian Folk Dances? We could be talking about anything here. The sidebar just announces: "Crabby, here's what you searched for last time on our site. Why the hell didn't you buy it? Do it now, damnit, or we'll just keep displaying the same crap until you give in."
Okay. Annoying, sure, but it least it has nothing to do with Wheelchair Exercise Equipment and is thus an improvement over adsense. She's very curious as to what you all are seeing though.
The link at the very very bottom of the page, below all the posts, is an Amazon-generated list of Health & Self Improvement books. Some of them actually look appealing sometimes; others look downright Icky. Crabby trusts her readers to know the difference.
There's also a search box in case you remember, in the middle of a post about Acupuncture, that you need to buy your Aunt Thelma a Needlepoint book for her birthday.
And then there's silly stuff like the ad Crabby put at the bottom of this post. She's mostly just joking about that one. She stuck one at the bottom of the archived IGallop post too, just in case future IGallop Googlers are actually looking to buy the thing and happen to land at Cranky Fitness. But she won't be doing this on current posts unless she's really so excited about something that she just Has to Share.
What would be cool, as long as Crabby is doing the Amazon thing, is to sometimes feature products that you, loyal readers, recommend. Do any of you know of a great health related book or product that might interest other readers? Please suggest it to Crabby and if it's offered on Amazon, she might put it on the sidebar. (This means actual regular readers, though, not Drop In Spammers). She thinks there might be some way to make it rotate, too, to offer a smorgasbord of Reader Recommendations.
Crabby knows that many of you who have blogs do not take advertising or pimp for affiliates, and Crabby applauds you. She hopes she's not driving you readers totally crazy. But if she's going to keep blogging for the long haul, as she'd really like to, she'd like to fantasize that she could earn a few pennies one day. Her plans for an eventually profitable Crabby McSlacker Health and Fitness World Empire keep her safely and happily off the streets. She thus humbly asks forgiveness of all of you.
After skipping over the Silly and Gratuitous Blog Monetization ad, please let Crabby hear your thoughts about ads on blogs. Hate them? Don't notice they're there? Have an idea for a good one you'd like to see on Cranky Fitness? Or Really Really Really Detest them? Or... any other thoughts? Tell Crabby how your weekend's going. Whatever!
(Is this book any good? Crabby has no idea. How's that for marketing!)