Almost everyone wants to be a Better Person in some way or other. And we try, the best we can, on so many different fronts. But what about those categories where we don't try--or where we tried before, maybe many times, but we finally just gave up?
Do you have any areas of Abandoned Personal Growth? You know, where instead of a garden with fountains and blue birds and gazebos you've settled on a weed-choked vacant lot with scummy puddles and mosquitos and piles of old tires?
Crabby sure hopes so! Because it means you're human. And she's hoping you'll share some of these with her. She'll share some of hers first--but please help her out with yours, too. Don't leave her hanging out there all by herself.
Women's magazines and Self-Help books make it sound like we should want to do Everything and Do it Well. But this is silly, we can't. Sometimes, we don't even care. Other times we do kind of care, but not enough considering how many other more important things there are to worry about. And as far as Crabby is concerned, Giving Up is sometimes a perfectly sensible thing to do!
So first up is the Don't Give a Crap Category. These are things that many people work really hard on, but for whatever reason, you just don't feel very ambitious about. What areas do you just write off wholesale?
Here are some of Crabby's Top "Forget About It" categories:
1. Parenting. (That's easy: no kids!)
2. Spiritual. (She's a big ol' skeptic about everything in that department).
3. Personal Appearance, Beyond Basic Hygiene. (Happily coupled, and never that much of a Hottie to begin with).
4. Arts and Crafts. (At least not since second grade).
5. Domestic Skills and Housekeeping. (Ha ha ha ha ha ha!).
Isn't it convenient to wipe out entire huge categories by not caring about any of it? Think of all the time you save! Crabby hopes she's not the only one who has done this.
Next up is stuff that falls within Important Categories that we care about, but these particular items just didn't work out. Crabby's list is very, very long, so she'll only share a few of them:
Crabby is so ridiculously bad at meditation she's going to write a whole post about it later. She tried for years. And please don't tell her you can't be "bad" at meditation, because yes, yes you can. Some of us just are. We have different brains. You meditation people need to start believing us on this.
This is another one where Crabby has tried so very hard, year after year, and now she's starting give up hope, which will only make things worse. She has slumpy shoulders. She's tried the exercises and the stretches and nagging herself. The nagging works for a nanosecond and then she forgets again. Can anyone really think about their posture all day? Crabby sure can't.
3. Country/Line Dancing.
Crabby likes music and she likes stomping and whirling around to a nice catchy tune and Country Dancing seems like one of the few sensible ways to combine exercise and beer. But Crabby is self-conscious and has no short term memory for sequences of steps. She hates stomping when everyone else is whirling and vice versa. She tried the "free lesson before the serious people arrive" sort of deal many, many times, and watched all the other beginners start to get the the hang of it, but she never did.
4. Grammar, Vocabulary, and Spelling.
As much as Crabby values the written word, and as much as she respects all the pesky rules that make the English language way more complicated than it needs to be, she can't seem to learn anything new! And she's pretty much given up trying. After about thirty, her mastery of spelling and grammar started to slip, and now she can't even hang on to new vocabulary words! She used to collect them like a greedy child stuffing Milky Ways into a pillowcase on Halloween. But now there seems to be a hole at the bottom of the bag or something!
So what about you folks, any quests for self-improvement that you've given up on, or never much cared about in the first place? Or do you seek Mastery in all areas of life? Please tell Crabby all about it!