[Hmph. Crabby's off today, and I'm here holding down the fort while she's enjoying a wild, carefree, and champagne-filled vacation. Not that I'm bitter, no, not me. Well, not too much. But frankly, I'm not ready to go back to being good yet. One more day of goofing off. -Mary]
Look, there's no way you're getting any work done today. For heaven's sake, you deserve a medal for even coming in to work this week. Everyone's taking the week off and leaving you to hold down the fort while they're goofing off. Well the heck with them. You deserve a little fun yourself.
So go ahead, indulge.
I mean, it's not as if the boss were looking over your shoulder, right? Here are some ways to annoy your boss if he or she were actually here but they're not so you can annoy them with a clear conscience:
Pop some virtual Bubble wrap. It's therapy, in a way. You can't (or probably shouldn't) behave like a rock star and trash your office, but you can get the virtual effect of cheap destructive satisfaction without having to clean up afterwards.
Have you tried this game? Be warned: Boomshine seems simple enough, but I've known people become addicted. Probably because it looks so simple. People get fired up with the determination to prove to themselves that they're able to accomplish something that seems so easy.
Google your name to find out what people are saying about you. Your boss probably has. Or your future employer might.
Go to technorati to find out what people are saying about your blog. Oh come on. You want to know who linked to your blog and what they said about you.
Think you're smarter than Alex Trebek? Try this geography quiz. I have to confess, I fancied myself as quite the geography expert, but alas I'm not as good as I thought I was. (I got a 10.) On the plus side, I now have some vague idea where Burkina Faso is, which is more than a lot of Americans can say. (Did you have to look it up? Don't tell me you knew off the top of your head! Wow. I am impressed. And if you can pronounce the name of the capital city, I'll be really impressed.)
What, that bubble wrap wasn't enough? Need to work off some more frustration? Here's your chance to rearrange Henry Tudor's face.
Feel like you're part of a chain gang? This site lets you listen to traditional work songs and ballads. I'm sure the singing on these selections is very powerful and poignant and all kinds of good things, but for some reason the song I listened to had a woman backup singer who rather reminded me of a cat singing.
Which is my way of neatly segueing into the final idea of what to do at work when you don't feel like working.
Ever wonder what your cat's up to while you're at work? One guy hooked up a miniature video camera to his cat's collar and videotaped where his cat went on its travels. I think this is an idea with some potential to it. Want to know what your boyfriend is doing when he's not at home? Ever wonder why it takes your girlfriend so long to go "shopping"? Maybe a secret video camera would be the solution.
Okay, I am kidding with this idea, you do know that ... right? I don't want to be responsible for breaking up any relationships. Forget I ever said anything. Look, back to the subject of cats. (Much safer topic.) If your cat is stuck indoors all day while you're at work, why not provide kitty with some entertainment?
[Oh hell. Crabby's going to come back and find everyone is mad at her since her blog fell off the straight-and-narrow path of fitness and instead led readers into a quagmire of relational arguments. I'm doomed.]