Cranky Fitness Headquarters? Uh, No.
Mary: [sings] Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat…
Crabby: What's that sound? Is that caroling I hear? I'm not sure we allow that sort of thing at Cranky Fitness.
Mary: We can't sing a few Christmas carols? Even songs about obese waterfowl?
Crabby: Bah, humbug. We pride ourselves on not getting into the Holiday spirit here if we can help it. The Holiday spirits, now that's another story... I'll have a little more of that fruit punch, please.
Mary: Delicious isn't it? And filled with healthy antioxidants.
Crabby: Mmm... Wait, vodka has antioxidants?
Mary: There's a little fruit juice in there too!
Crabby: Ah, that explains the pinkish hue. You were saying something about getting goosed?
Mary: No, The Goose... oh never mind. So if I can't talk about the holidays, can I at least talk about the season?
Crabby: As long as it's not the season to be jolly. There'll be no cheerful fa-la-la-la-la-la-ing on Cranky Fitness property, if I can help it. But sure, I guess you can mention the season.
Mary: Actually, I was thinking about how vegetables are best when they're in season. Which, in the Northern Hemisphere, is not this season. So what do you do to ensure fresh veggies on your table?
Crabby: I make sure my table is located in a nice restaurant where someone else has figured it all out for me! Or I go to the grocery store and see what they have.
Mary: So you buy foods from Chile.
Crabby: Um, well...
Mary: Even if the food is organic, that would mean it's coming from several thousand miles away.
Crabby: Really? Oh dear. Those poor tired vegetables! That's a long way to hitch-hike. I don't suppose a vegetable can afford air fare?
Mary: Sadly, most vegetables are dirt poor. Plus, after spending several hours on a plane, how fresh would you be?
Crabby: So if I'm not supposed to buy Chilean vegetables, what should I do?
Mary: Well, one thing you could do is grow your own.
Crabby: I tried that once, and boy did it make everything taste really good. Even out-of-season vegetables! But funny thing--turns out it's illegal.
Mary: No, I meant you could grow your own winter vegetables.
Mary: For example, in a lot of climates kale is grown outdoors in winter, and Dr. Weil says it's full of good stuff. Or you could get a plant lamp and a window box to grow fresh greens indoors. Mizuna, arugula, that sort of thing.
Crabby: Huh? Mizuna? Arugula? Oh wait, I remember... the Beach Boys wrote a song about them!
Ooh I wanna take you,
Come on pretty mama...
Mary: Crabby... Crabby...
Key Largo, Montegro,
Baby why don't we go...
Crabby: Huh, wha?
Mary: Vegetables. Remember? We were talking about vegetables?
Crabby: That's right. (Sigh). But I want to go to Kokomo!
Mary: You could sprout bean sprouts.
Crabby: (Longer sigh). Bean sprouts, sure.
Mary: They take a few days more in the colder weather, and you need to be sure to rinse the sprouting beans thoroughly twice a day, but they're chock full of nutrition.
Crabby: Here I was, lounging on a nice white sand beach in a tropical paradise, and now I'm rinsing bean sprouts.
Mary: But Kokomo is in Indiana, isn't it?
Crabby: No! The Beach Boys were singing about Indiana?
Mary: If that's your idea of a tropical paradise, you might want to invest in a cold frame. The Frugal Zealot raved about them. You can grow fresh veggies outdoors in the middle of winter – even in Indiana!
Crabby: Now you've got me outside in a cold frame, in the middle of winter in Indiana, with a raving zealot? Perhaps I should rethink this no-holiday-caroling rule, it seems to have some unpleasant side effects.
Mary: Here, have some more of this "fruit" punch while you're rethinking.
Crabby: Well...(Various inarticulate harumphing sounds).
Mary: Joy to the World...
Crabby: (Sighing, but no longer in such a melodramatic way...) So anyone out there have any thoughts on Holiday Spirit or Winter Vegetables or Anything At All? You may need to write loudly, there seems to be some rather distracting background noise here at Cranky Fitness Headquarters.