For those of you who have never watched the popular medical show Grey's Anatomy, you are missing out on an incredible educational resource!
Crabby remembers when the show first came out, they made a big deal about employing expert advisers to make sure that everything they portrayed was realistic, or at least somewhat within the realm of possibility.
Good to know! Because Crabby sometimes watches the show in order increase her knowledge of all things medical so she can pass it on to you.
OK, so that's a lie. Really she watches Grey's Anatomy for the sometimes witty banter and to see who's sleeping with whom. (Sleazy aside: who even cares anymore about boring old George & Izzy, or Meredith and McDreamy? Crabby thinks it's time they scrambled the bedroom pairings a bit. Let's try Meredith with Christina; McDreamy & Callie; Miranda & Richard, and maybe Karev & McSteamy in a Gratuitous Shower Scene). (And for those who don't watch--no, that wasn't a typo. McDreamy and McSteamy are two entirely different doctors).
But as long as she's absorbing so much medical information during her weekly visits to Seattle Grace, Crabby thought she'd include some here, since Cranky Fitness is a serious blog about Health. So here we go, some Important Medical Info courtesy of Grey's Anatomy!
1. Hiccups can easily be fatal. Especially if contracted by a person who is nice but has hung around for a suspiciously long time considering she doesn't look like a conventional television star.
2. But falling into the frigid ocean and remaining submerged there without the ability to breathe for like, almost an entire hour, is not generally a very serious medical problem. There are of course some unpleasant side effects: you could contract nearly irreversible Relationship Tension with your brooding lover. But other than that, expect full recovery.
3. When a patient comes in needing treatment, it's important to pick the right doctor to help them. In a hospital filled with trained medical professionals, how do you choose? Simple! You pick the doctor who is the most emotionally involved with the patient. Doctors make the best decisions when they are treating their own children, parents, lovers, ex-wives, nieces, and romantic rivals. Fortunately, during any given shift, at least one out of every four doctors will experience a close friend or relative arriving at the hospital emergency room near death, so such emotionally intense doctor-patient relationships are easy to come by. If a doctor is stuck treating a stranger? No problem! An intense relationship, often romantic but sometimes hostile and volatile, will soon develop between them.
4. If you are an inexperienced intern, don't worry about boring "scut" work. There's only a little of that you'll have to do. Mostly you will be seeing--and treating--bizarre and rare conditions straight out of the most obscure medical journals. Think you'll never see a "one in a billion" case in your career? Think again! These will be daily occurrences.
5. Alzheimer's can completely disappear! Not just for a lucid moment or two, but for days and days at a time, allowing complicated emotional dramas to play out with a completely high-functioning, fully cognizant patient. Then, at the most ironic moment of course, the disease will reappear again.
6. Most major hospitals are staffed by only five or six doctors and an equal number of interns. Aren't they amazing? The nursing staff numbers are harder to tell--because apparently nurses don't generally have names or personalities. Nor does anything interesting ever happen to them, unless they are lucky enough to sleep with one of the doctors and cause Romantic Complications.
7. Hospital staffing rules are apparently quite strict: no one is permitted to work in a hospital who is much over 40 (unless they are a Cranky Administrator or an Inexperienced Guest Intern Played for Laughs); nor is anyone allowed to be gay. But quirky and often annoying gay people can come to the hospital as patients! This enables the heterosexual doctors to demonstrate how Cool and Tolerant they can be.
8. Hospital work is dangerous! Not only do bombs go off, plagues spread and patients become violent, but at least once a year, three out of every four doctors will face a career-altering or life-threatening medical condition themselves.
So Crabby could go on and on... but she'll spare you. She used to like this show. She found the more "female" point of view refreshing; the doctors were irreverent and frisky; and the show seemed to have some smart writers who had a deft hand with humorous dialog.
But this was before they decided that the realistic life and death drama of a big city hospital wasn't exciting enough. Apparently you need to have Spectacular, Incredibly Unlikely, Ironic, and Ridiculous things happen every few minutes in order to retain viewer interest.
Now, alas, Crabby can barely stand to watch it.
Does anyone else tune into this show or other medical shows? Any of 'em good? Any particular pet peeves about the ones you watch?