June 16, 2009

The typical CF reader

What blog do I read? Is this a trick question?
Photo courtesy of Jurvetson

If you’ve been reading the comments that we get here, you’ll know there really isn’t such a thing as a “typical” reader. They come in all different shapes, sizes, attitudes & approaches to health and fitness.

Still, this was my idea of what a typical day-in-the-life would be for three average Cranky Fitness readers.

6 a.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Sleeping
Dan Dogged: Lacing up running shoes
Jack Rabbit: Already out on the running trail

7 a.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Sleeping
Dan Dogged: Cooling down
Jack Rabbit: Heading in to work

8 a.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Sleeping
Dan Dogged: Eating healthy breakfast
Jack Rabbit: At work sending out "looking busy" emails so everyone knows how hard he works

9 a.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Driving to work while putting on mascara and scarfing down a McBreakfast
Dan Dogged: Prioritizing items for a To Do list
Jack Rabbit: Already had two cups of coffee, sent 20 emails, and fired a couple people

1 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Reading Cranky Fitness
Dan Dogged: Reading Cranky Fitness
Jack Rabbit: Reading Cranky Fitness

5 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Sneaking out for a drink with "the gang"
Dan Dogged: Finishing the last item on his To Do list
Jack Rabbit: Firing a couple more people, just to keep in practice

6 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: "Well, just one more drink. I'll be extra good tomorrow."
Dan Dogged: A relaxed dinner (salmon & salad) with the family
Jack Rabbit: Dinner at a fashionable restaurant with a date his secretary fixed him up with

8 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Watching TV while chowing down on pizza
Dan Dogged: Watching TV while lifting weights
Jack Rabbit: Writing a nasty email to his secretary about her taste in friends

10 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Settling down to play games on the computer
Dan Dogged: Drifting off to sleep
Jack Rabbit: Sending more "looking busy" emails to his boss

11 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Thinking about going to bed "... well maybe just one more game."
Dan Dogged: Snoring
Jack Rabbit: Surfing internet chat rooms under the alias "lonely boy"

After a year...

Cyndee: Gained 10 pounds. Can't figure out why.
Dan: Maintained weight.Increased average running speed.
Jack: Got voted Most Annoying Employee and was let go during the last re-org.

Moral: Reading Cranky Fitness has been shown1 to help people become thinner, fitter, and blonder, but even reading this blog on a regular basis is not enough to keep you fit all by itself.

Are you a typical reader? Does this day-in-the-life even remotely resemble your day? (Me, I can kinda relate to Cyndee...)

1Merry's Book of Meretricious Statistics, Morally Ambiguous Publishing, Inc., $29.99 at your local bookstore.


  1. Sadly, my life more closely resembles Cyndee Sloth than Dan Dogged :(

  2. Yep, definitely more Cyndee, lol!

  3. Aha! Just what this chocolate-skinned woman wanted! To become blonder....and it's working. Thank you Cranky Fitness!

  4. Rut Ro I'm heading into work at 6:30 am what does that say about me? LOL

  5. Eh, you forgot one... Minerva Mommy... she's up at 8, usually cleans the same spot in the family room three or four times, fits reading blogs in between bath-time and removing macaroni and cheese from the ceiling (or from under the sofa). She hires her friend the boomerang-kid (left home at 21, came back at 22 and at 38 still lives with his mommy) to babysit for her so she can run to the gym twice a week. Maybe once a month she manages to say something to someone that doesn't relate to her kid or her housekeeping, but is mostly just lost in the crowd of people who have jelly smeared on the knee of her workout pants.

  6. Kind of a Dan Dogged. Except I personal train, go to school, and am planning a wedding, so my day is longer.

  7. Too funny! Similar to Dan Dogged but way less organized & spending too much time reading blogs!!! I wish I did more to do lists & organizing!

    Thx for the fun!

  8. I think I'm most like Dan Dogged except there is NO WAY you're getting me out of bed that early. I'm sleeping until at least 8. I make up for it though because at 6, I'm working out, not watching tv. I watch my TV at 9 right after dinner to unwind before bed at ten.

    Funny how easy it is to stereotype people. You make three stereo types and everyone starts walking in their shoes :-)

  9. I second a vote for Minerva Mommy! Too true Lynn! Also, a Schizophrenic Stan where they can never stick to any kind of schedule (I happen to be married to one;))

  10. Very, very funny!!

    Who reads the articles? I just come here to look at the pictures :-)

  11. I'd say I am a mix of Cyndee Sloth, Dan Dogged, and Minerva Mommy...minus the Mommy part.

  12. Waking up at 6 am makes me very cranky and unhappy. Wah. I get up around 7-ish to get ready for work, pack my breakfast/lunch/snacks for the day (I also don't like to be rushed when I'm eating, so prefer breakfast at my desk). I work out in the evenings and I'm in bed snoozing by 11. I'm not sure what that makes me.

  13. LOL, I really, really enjoyed this! I am Dan Dogged almost to a T (just move the workout time from the AM to the PM right after work & before dinner!) And wouldn't you know in the past year I've only lost about 10 lbs but I've increased my running speed & strength (via weight lifting!)

  14. Okay, taking notes Minerva and Stan, check. Any other types that I'm missing?

  15. So am I the only Jack Rabbit here?

    Off to a meeting with HR. Who knew it's inappropriate to pinch your secretary's bum as she turns from bringing in your a.m. coffee?

  16. Funny. I can relate to each of them a bit at different times of my life...except for the firing of others and pretending I'm busy part. I DO relate to Lynn's Minerva (or Mylastnerva) Mommy. This is the only blog I've ever read,(I happened to stumble upon it a few months ago), and find it helpful and uplifting and just what I need to get out of my Mommydome for a bit. But, recently,I have to be like Jack Rabbit and rise at o'dark-thirty if I'm going to have any time for myself and exercise.

    Thank you to Merry, Cranky, and other bloggers for keeping it positive (in the Crankiest sort of way, of course!).

  17. Oops...thank you "Crabby" not "Cranky." Sorry about that.

  18. bwhahaha that was way too amusing. I especially relate to the to-do lists. My obsession (er... okay, one of the MANY obsessions this CF reader has ;)).

  19. I want to know how you come up with these ideas??? Very entertaining. Not sure I resemble any of your CF readers listed here. But not sure how to describe me. Maybe closer to Dan but definitely not as dogged.

  20. I'm a hybrid of Ms. Sloth and Mr. Dogged. Moving closer to Mr. Dogged.

    Funny post--I enjoyed.

  21. Merry, you forgot to put the disclaimer that "any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental" b/c I think you read my memoir. It's called "I'm Jack's secretary"! bah!

  22. I actually burst out laughing as I was doing my blog reading of cranky fitness exactly at 1 pm at my desk. Funny!! I think I resemble a Cyndee Rabbit hybrid, as I go from sloth like lazy snoring to over achieving in 10 seconds or less and then back again. Maybe I am just insane or have multiple personalities... but it keeps it interesting!

  23. What about us wierd chimera types that are a jumble of all 3? :)

  24. I'm definitely a cross between Cyndee and Dan. (And occasionally, Jack. But mostly not.)

    This was HILARIOUS, though. :D

  25. What about "The Old Fart"? She's the one that really, really wants to do all these things, and do them well, she's just slowed down a bit. Takes longer to warm up for the exercise, and then it's time to think about making dinner. Our heart is more than willing, but the body balks at that ambition.

  26. I'm a Dan, but at times a Jack Rabbit I'm afraid. Oh, and I read this blog at 12, 1pm, and 4:30 (apparently!)

  27. This is so hilarious. Unfortunately it's not too funny that I am apparently mostly a Cyndee, though I burst out into Dan and Jack behavior every now and then...:-)

  28. That was too funny! lol. I must be a cross between a sloth, rabbit and dog - scary combination. :)

  29. Must confess to being Cyndee's evil twin - only with a slower metabolism and hand-eye coordination.

  30. Excellent Merry, How about Anonymous Alan or Amy? This person won't use their own name or moniker while reading blogs just to send some off the wall comment as their way of helping. Usually found to be about 29 year old with no job living in their parent’s basement.

  31. I'm also a Minerva Mommy! altho i've got to get up at 6:15 in order to get a quiet cup of coffee and take the dogs out before Lilly wakes up.. This post was too funny :)

  32. I'm so late here, sorry! Was offline Taking Care of Business.

    Love all the categories, both in the post and the comments!

    And, um, as for me? I kinda have to go with vraz60's "Old Fart."

  33. I read often Merry but don't comment much but this was too good to pass up. Combine Cyndee and Dan and you've got me, just depends on which day it is. :) Keep the posts a comin'! You Crabby folks are fab!

  34. Thanks, Lucas! Crabby & I are both blushing.

    I am kind of worried about Annabel, having to deal with Jack as a boss :(

  35. How cool this is! I'm mostly a "Dogged Dan" but need to add "Slightly Disabled Old Fart" to it. Love this blog, just found it recently and the levity around here is just what I need to keep on truckin'. (Told you I was old!)

  36. I am totally a mix between Dan-Dogged and Jack Rabbit... and I won't lie to you... I sort of like being this way! I get everything I need to accomplished and I still have time for me! Cute post though, very creative!


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