March 08, 2008

We Have Answers

[By Crabby and Merry]

Cranky Fitness wishes it had Big answers to Big questions. Questions like: "Is There an Afterlife?" Or "What Are We Put On this Earth to Do?" Or even, "Why Are There Never Any Goddamn Ballpoint Pens in the House No Matter How Many Times We Buy Big-Ass Boxes of Them at Costco?"

As soon as we discover any of the Big Answers, we promise we'll let you know. In the meantime, here are the answers to Friday's Quiz. Go there first if you haven't taken it yet--or do it backwards and feel extra smart when you take the quiz and get all the answers right.

Note: Many of you did very well! And Crabby now knows she should either start watching "House" or avoid trying to fool people with obscure medical facts.

So here are the real studies, not the fake ones, as well as the answers to who wrote which question:

Crabby's Questions:

1. (b) Country music fans (at least white ones) are more likely than most to be suicidal. This was true even taking into account Southerness, poverty, divorce rates, and gun availability.

4. (c) One antidote to antifreeze poisoning is the ingestion of alcohol, apparently in large quantities. A vodka IV infusion (three drinks an hour for three days) was used to save at least one patient's life.

5. (c) In studying the "Impact of wet underwear on thermoregulatory responses and thermal comfort in the cold," scientists discovered that there is "a significant cooling effect of wet underwear on thermoregulatory responses." And guess what? The lucky research subjects not only got to freeze their asses off for science, but their temperature was NOT taken orally.

Merry's Questions:
2. (a) I bet you'd give your eye tooth to know that someone really did transplant a tooth to restore a patient's eyesight.

3. (d) Runners who increased their stamina on a treadmill found their sexual stamina had increased as well. How long they could make love correlated with how long they could run on a treadmill. For each additional minute on the treadmill, the person could make love for an additional 2.3 minutes.

6. (b) People who have macular degeneration, and thus trouble with their eyesight, are more likely to suffer a stroke or heart attack.

More from Merry-- I threw in a trick answer: problems with eyesight won't lead to a greater likelihood of diabetes; it's the other way around. Diabetes can lead to an increased likelihood of diabetic retinopathy, among other things.

Another trick answer: Nicotine intake in any form can impair sperm. (Moral: a rookie who likes nookie should not get wacky with tabaccy.)

So, is anyone still around from Friday? How did you do? How's your weekend going? Heard any good jokes lately or have any opinions about the world in general? (It occurs to the management of Cranky Fitness that these quiz posts aren't exactly easy to comment on, so y'all are encouraged to blurt out anything on your minds, or shut down the computer entirely and go outside and have a great weekend).


  1. Oh yeah I got'em all right. ;)

    this whole thing reminded me of a cranky fitness version of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

  2. Katieo, well, we could pretend we've never listened to that show before but it would be a lie! Just wish our fake answers were as funny. Perhaps Paula Poundstone is available for guest posts?

  3. Well gosh, the Bag Lady aced that quiz, but of course, has no proof, because Blogger ate her comment yesterday!! (Guess Blogger didn't want the Bag Lady showing off...)
    The Bag Lady is a (white) country music fan, but has rarely (except for, perhaps, when she was an angst-ridden teenager) contemplated suicide.... guess it helps to also like Broadway hits, Big Band Swing music, be-bop from the 50's, and stuff from the 60's & 70's. In truth, the only music that makes the Bag Lady feel suicidal is some of the crap that's on the airwaves nowadays!! Especially the atonal stuff.

  4. aww, I only got two right. The only two I had any knowledge about were the ones I got right. Funny how that works. :p

    And, yeah, one time on House, they had a patient who had tried to kill himself by drinking copier fluid made almost entirely of methanol (AKA wood alcohol). Antifreeze, likewise, is made of methanol. House proceeded to engage the patient in a drinking contest before explaining that the ethanol they were drinking would neutralize the methanol he had ingested and he would piss it out, harmlessly.

  5. Well, I got some of them right, but since I didn't write anything down, I forget which ones.
    Next in the Q&A department, can you take on 42? (I just saw somewhere that today is the 30th anniversary of the first radio broadcast of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Do I feel old now? Nooooo.)

    Mary Anne in Kentucky, going out to shovel six inches of snow, just for the exercise, because I don't have to go farther than the bird feeder and the garbage can today.

  6. I have to admit that I did not have the attention span yesterday to try and figure out the answers. Made for interesting reading this morning though!

    Off to hit the treadmill now. Because, you know, I want to be healthy. :)

  7. Bag Lady, I do believe you got them all right! And you're not the only one who's comment was eaten yesterday. WTF is up with that?

    Chickengirl--ah, that's actually a very clever use of an obscure medical fact--I really should start watching House one of these days.

    Hey MaryAnne, Cranky Fitness is not quite up to taking on the Ultimate Question yet, but give us 10 million years or so. And I felt equally old when I read that the 25th Anniversary of the movie "Tootsie" is coming up. How cCould that be right???

    javachick--well, a treadmill is a lot healthier than 3 cans of Hershey's syrup!

  8. Well, I know I got the one about the tooth restoring sight correct, because I had just read the article. I can't remember what else I answered though and am too lazy to go back to yesterdays comments and check. I probably got the rest wrong though.

  9. Well Reb, if I hadn't written half the questions I would have got them all wrong too!

  10. I got the wet underwear question right because I have had a lot of experience with that!

    NOT what you're thinking, that person over there!

    It's because my husband takes me out hunting and part of that experience is having to sit down on the grass to listen for sounds like the ping of fence wire as a pig sneaks through from the bush into the bluegums. I am not really into listening for ping noises so I spend the time thinking about how the dew is rapidly wetting my behind.

    So I knew that one!

  11. woo hoo

    I saw you have answers & my life is fraught with myriad questions.

    all of which Ive now forgotten in my moment of "what did happen to paula poundstone?! is she now in Las Vegas?"

    she is one funny lady.


  12. "For each additional minute on the treadmill, the person could make love for an additional 2.3 minutes."
    If that's not incentive to run more I don't know what is :)

  13. but wh wh what happened to the merry-crabby question?
    you didnt answer that. i mean who wrote what questions.

    sorry i'm writing left handed because i broke my right hand. its such a pain

  14. Hi Melissa,

    Sorry to hear about your hand, what a pain!

    Check the post again--the answers are listed by who wrote the questions--"Crabby's questions" (1, 4, 5)and "Merry's Questions," (2,3,6).


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