March 13, 2008

Be A Cranky Fitness Guest Blogger!

[By Crabby]
Anyone? Anyone?

Just after Easter, the Crab and the Lobster and their intrepid cat will be moving from the San Francisco Bay Area to the opposite end of the country.

And yes, this is the same f*cking cross-country move I've been blogging about since October when we first put in an offer on a house in Provincetown, MA. But finally, it's happening. We've sold our California house (escrow closed yesterday), and we're soon going to be traveling via campervan to our new Cape Cod abode.

The cat even has her own special compact travel litter box! How cute is that? (OK, maybe not so cute. The van is not very big and cat boxes smell like... well, cat boxes).

We shall be dining at the fine restaurants one tends to find right off the interstate, and staying at only the nation's classiest RV parks. (Actually, that's a lie--we'll be staying in a lot of Walmart parking lots, where RV's can usually park overnight for free.)

What a glamorous undertaking!

Since Walmart parking lots do not generally supply wireless internet, however, posting may be erratic during our travels. And sure, I could try to chain Merry to her computer for the duration and make her do all the work, but alas, Merry has a life of her own, and she might not welcome being exploited by a crab too lazy to stockpile posts for the future.

So can I exploit any of you folks instead?

If you'd like to submit a Guest Post to Cranky Fitness for publication sometime between March 24th and Early April, we'd love to see it. Maybe 250-750 words max, and it would be great if it were somehow related to health and fitness.

Cranky Fitness did this once before and it worked out great. I got to take some time off, and readers got to read some great new writing. Some of the posts got linked to by other popular blogs; the guest posters launched their writing careers and got famous and they now make millions of dollars with highly popular blogs of their own.

Or something like that. Anyway, it did go fairly well.

The post does not have to be brand new writing, as long as you wrote it and are not stealing it from someone else. So if you have a blog, and you have a blog post you're really proud of but not a lot of people got to see it already, consider resubmitting it here. Or write a new one, that's great too. If readers like what they read, they may want to visit your blog to read more of your awesome stuff and then they'll abandon Cranky Fitness for your blog in order to hang out there and.... hey, wait a minute!

Don't have a blog? Even better! Here's a chance to share your thoughts outside the comment section without having to start up a blog of your own. (Though be careful... ending up with a time-sucking blog is a known side effect of Guest Blogging).

It's possible we may edit your post, or we may not get a chance to run it depending on what else is going on. Please don't be offended if that happens. (As I may have mentioned before, I've submitted guest posts other places that didn't get published, so I know how annoying that is. But it's quite survivable).

So why would you bother? What's in it for you?

Absolutely nothing--welcome to blogging!

(Actually, you will have the undying gratitude of the Cranky Fitness Management and the appreciation of the blogs loyal readers).

If you are interested, please email your submission to Crabby at: CrabbyMcSlacker @ gmail .com (but skip the spaces).


  1. howdy. i cant believe im the first to comment on this excellent post. everybody is obviously busy writing their scintillating submissions. which i would be if i had more than one hand.

    here's an idea for a blog pst. accident-proneness

    in the past 3 months i've had three hand accidents. a serious gash, a fairly serious burn, and now a serious fracture of my right hand for which im having surgery tomorrow am.

    is this all my fault because im an accident prone person? anybody ever read louise hay? she says accidents are the result of "inability to speak up for the self" --wtf--"rebellion against authority" and "belief in violence"

    again i say, wtf?

  2. "the guest posters launched their writing careers and got famous" as a cartoon character looking for a free car!

    Thank you for that, and for taking your time to read and comment on my column!

    I hope your trip across Americana is a blast!

    Dr. J

  3. Cross Country move with a cat.

    You should definitely post pictures of the top 5 most ridiculous places the cat ends up.

  4. I can write about my trip shopping this week where I ended up in a dressing room with a three sided mirror and actually SAW my HUGE backside and hips in all their fatty glory then I was so depressed I wanted to hang myself but couldn't find a rope big enough to support my huge weight so just had a few glasses of wine and went to bed. Yes, it's been that sort of week...



  5. pfffffffft!

    some of us have enough problems coming up with scintillating topics for our own blogs every day let alone trying to come up with witty words of wisdom to wow your audience as well.


    you're a demanding crab!

  6. Melissa - I will contribute on any post dealing with being accident prone - I am unable to cook something without hurting myself. I wonder what that says about me???


  7. I can't promise anything, Crabby, as I've just taken up some freelance reporting. But if I can help you I will.

  8. Crabby, as one sadly lacking health & fitness in my life, I will be bowing out - well maybe. More like waddling.

    Have a safe journey with the Lobster and the cat. He may not use the box when you are traveling, my cat doesn't and doesn't eat. Then he winds up with the trots when he can no longer avoid it. Make sure to shave his butt & legs before you leave. (I think I remember he is a long hair?)

  9. This:
    "So why would you bother? What's in it for you?

    Absolutely nothing--welcome to blogging!"

    is freaking funny. I just snorted yogurt out of my nose in Starbucks!

  10. Poor kitty. My cats barely tolerate the drive to the vet's office. Can't imagine trying to drive them across country.

  11. I'm hearing some great ideas for guest posts down here... Accident proneness, Evil Dressing Room Mirrors, Cat Butt Shaving...

    Some of you regular commenters are WAY funnier down here than I ever am up there--but I do understand you have lives!

    And hey Melissa & Missicat, sounds like tough times for you both recently, dang it. Hope things get better soon! Crabs are not good at hugs (what with big pinchers and all) but will try to send some your way.

    Red.... arghh, I don't even want to think about it! (And awesome blog, btw)

    Thanks Dr. J and hope you get that car.

    And Marie, yeah, I am! Don't know why folks let me get away with it.

    Thanks Leslie & Leah & Reb and Java Chick!

    As it happens, the cat has been on a couple of van trips with us before--she meows for the first day or so until she remembers that she doesn't mind it; then she settles right in. And not only is she adept at using the Tiny Traveling Cat Box, she prefers to use it on steep winding mountain passages where there is nowhere to pull over so we get to enjoy her contribution for the maximum amount of time until we can rid the van of it.

    Sorry if that's TMI!

  12. What Red said. Pleeeaaaasssee! I'd love to see those pics!

    Oh, and what Marie said too.

  13. Thoughts? I'm supposed to have thoughts? Sorry, nothing but giggles here.
    Just make sure you take traveling cat pictures.

    Mary Anne in Kentucky (with a very large driveway, actually, but not very near an interstate)

  14. raises her hand up in the air
    Oooh, me! me! Pick me!

    Oh, wait a minute. Can't be a guessest, I'm a hostess. (As in... cupcakes :)

  15. Crabby, glad to hear the cat travels well.

  16. Travel by RV is a kick! If the weather is cool enough to make staying in the van safe for The Cat, I'd suggest a few short stops or side trips, as you will probably pass some neat stuff that you may never get a chance to see again. I am still pissed that my traveling partner said "Nah, *I've* seen Meteor Crater", so I didn't make the turn but kept driving. I have wanted to see Meteor Crater in person most of my life. Now it's a state away instead of just 10 miles down the turn off, and the odds of getting there in the next decade even seem slimmer and slimmer. I should have said "Well *I* haven't!" and gone for it.

    I agreed, pics of the cat in the most ridiculous places, think of the potential for LOL Kittehs!


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