February 22, 2008

Random Friday Returns!

[By Crabby and Merry]

So we're skimping on actual scientific research this week because nothing new was discovered anywhere in the world we felt more like doing silly items and not thinking too much. Maybe next Random Friday we'll put on our crisp white lab coats and our horn-rimmed glasses and scientificate a little more and sillyify a little less. Maybe.

But here's at least one study:

Old People Not as Screwed, Memory-Wise, As They Used to Be.
[Could Crabby have perhaps put that a bit more delicately? Yeah, but then this would be a different, better blog.]
So according to a study in the journal Alzheimer’s and Dementia, (summarized here), memory loss and thinking problems are decreasing among those over 70. The researchers point to improvements in higher education, economic status, and health care as possible reasons.

However, I'm not exactly counting on my higher education or my 401K to keep me sharp, since I'm already a space cadet to begin with. I don't have a whole heck of a lot of excess brain power to bank on. So until they figure out a cure for Alzheimers, etc, I'm going to keep popping those dang fish oil capsules even if they do give me fish burps.

Guess What: Weight Loss is Simple After All!
Merry spotted this incredible product, via Fitness Fixation, from a company called Too Faced. It's Guilt-Free Lip Gloss. To quote their product blurb, it's "A super shiny lip gloss inspired by Fuze energy drinks that energizes and slenderizes."

Really? Lip gloss can make you lose weight?

I'm thinking the only kind of lip gloss that could truly promise to slenderize would be one made out of Super Glue. But what do I know? I'm a Chapstick kinda gal.

Cranqué Pheeetniss
Crabby, being a crab, naturally dislikes mimes, street artists, jugglers, and others who gratuitously try to cheer her up in public places. So it's not surprising that Merry is the one who dug up this "walking as performance art" video. (Quick poll: Crabby would have so committed vehicular manslaughter about three minutes in. Anyone else? Perhaps Crabby needs to cut down on her caffeine.)

Classy as Always:
Cranky Fitness just wanted to make sure you were up on the latest headlines:
"Police: Crack Found in Man's Buttocks".


Oh, and speaking of Crack-related items, remember the magazine Cracked, which was a knock-off version of Mad Magazine when we (baby boomers) were growing up? Well, apparently it still exists! And it's actually got some funny stuff. So for those who appreciate culturally insensitive bathroom humor, here's a great roundup of Weird Toys from Around the World. (Note: By "weird" we mean mostly poop-related, and by "the World" we mean Japan.)



Optical Illusion Plus Your Own 'Freedom Passive Income Stream!'
I enjoy optical illusions, but it cracked me up that this one is hosted by some new-agey site promoting inner happiness and schemes for making a quick buck. Material happiness is just an illusion, right? So what happened to those pink dots? And hey, what the hell just happened to my bank account???

Translate Your Blog Into Red-Neck
I was skeptical 'til I tried it, but this blog translation device can be pretty funny. Just type in the URL of your favorite blog (don't forget the www if it's part of the name) and try to resist the sudden craving for a buckit of fried chicken, a bottle a' hooch and a Hee Haw marathon.

Cute Animal Overload (Because We Just Can't Help It):
Computer monitor getting a little dirty? Well, here's a must-have screensaver.

Need help waking up in the morning? Cats really help ease that transition and get you moving:


Or, for those who prefer the quicker cat alarm clock version:

funny pictures
Courtesy of icanhascheezburger.com

Have an energetic, slenderizing Friday everyone!

25 comments:

  1. Ok I think that was probably one of the funniest videos you've ever posted. Mostly because that cat is my toddler. EXACTLY. Everything down to pointing to his mouth after the attack.

    This was a really funny random Friday, I especially enjoyed the thought of superglue as weight loss lip gloss.

    Mime's freak me out. Musicians and artists- not so much.

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  2. love the wake up stuff.

    Just yesterday, I was flipping through one of those catalogues that sell nothing you really need but you absolutely have to have despite the totally outrageous prices.

    One of the items was an alarm clock with a helicopter type thingie that flew off the top of the alarm clock when it went off and would fly and circle your room until you catch it. The alarm would not go off until the rotary thingie was replaced.

    Oh yea, that's how I want to wwake up every morning. I'll take my chances with the cat.

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  3. I hadn't realized how much I missed Random Friday!!!

    Fish burps-ugh! (hate 'em)

    The optical illusion-WOW!

    Cranky Fitness translated to redneck-priceless!

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  4. AAAAH!

    I forgot to type my name in again! I think I am going to have to get one of those Open ID thingies. Then it will remember me, right?

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  5. Gee, the Bag Lady tried the Red Neck translation thing on her own blog, and it didn't change a thang! (kidding - that thing is freakin' hilarious, shut ma mouth!)

    Where can the Bag Lady buy some of that super-gloss weight loss lip stuff?

    And the fish-burps? With ya there...

    Great random Friday, gals!

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  6. Now, see...I just bought a bottle of fish oil capsules, but I'm afraid to take them because I don't want fish burps. My friend says it won't happen, but the evidence here says it will.

    Any way to avoid said fish burps?

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  7. Good random Friday...you always pull it off right! I especially liked the screen saver, but unfortunately it looks too much like my car windows after a summer drive...gross!

    I want an alarm clock cat- does it bounce off the ways if thrown against them?

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  8. I like my blog better in Elmer Fuddspeak.

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  9. Good random Friday. I would have run them over in less than three minutes though. My four legged alarm clock does all that and more! The toys are really funny, but why you would want poo & pee shaped stuffed toys I can't imagine!

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  10. I guess I'll go back to school and work on my PhD. Sounds less nasty than fish-burps.

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  11. Hi all!

    So I just got back from the gym at the Old Folks H...err, Retirement community where we're staying, which is a post in itself. Let's just that while it was quite inspiring it was not exactly a Quick morning workout.

    Anyway, I forgot to credit Merry for the two awesome Cat Alarm Clock links!

    Marijke, that helicopter thing sounds wild--but I'm like you, it sounds like a pain to deal with.

    And Chickengirl, holy crap! I'd translate those comments into Swedish Chef dialect too if I were you.

    Re: Fish Burps--About 75% of the fishiness can be eliminated by buying ENTERIC fish oil pills, however, we got a great deal on a gigantic barrel (ok, bottle) of the cheap kind so I've got a lot of burps left before we use up that bottle and can get the better kind. (Longs often stocks the enteric kind).

    And Bag Lady, that's pretty funny! Perhaps you'll have to try Elmer Fudd or Swedish Chef to notice the difference.

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  12. Oh, if only weight loss lip gloss worked... why is nothing ever easy?

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  13. I LOVE the video!

    Mimes are scary, but clowns are evil.

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  14. "Maybe next Random Friday we'll put on our crisp white lab coats and our horn-rimmed glasses and scientificate..."
    It's the only way to live :)

    The video was great...altho the screen saver made me feel all slimy...:)

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  15. A bat.

    I haven't tried a bat yet.

    We have this problem almost every morning. Karen doesn't get out of my bed until like five and is cramping my style. I might try this bat thing.

    But not now. I'm going to take a nap.

    -- P

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  16. I would have rammed into those damn crosswalkers...Or laid on my horn, one or the other...But at least they were in a crosswalk and not just in the middle of the street...

    Fish burps...Eat when you take it...You may still get one or two, but to avoid the majority of them and combat against the fishiness, eat or take it with milk, anything to coat your stomach and cut the taste...

    That's all I got right now...
    KITTY!!!

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  17. A naturopath recommended Carlson's fish oil. (According to her, the others had a higher risk of mercury.)

    It's lemon flavored and there's no problem with burping. But I don't swallow it as a pill, I use it on salads and things of that ilk.

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  18. OH MY GOSH.

    could you be funnier?!

    Cranqué Pheeetniss


    I thinketh not :)

    C.

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  19. Oh, how well I relate to that cat video... *snork*!

    And now you've got me playing with that Dialectizer. Hilarious, "fry mah hide!"

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  20. I am always entertained when I come here. Love it!

    That video with the cat - that's my cat every morning. Except for the baseball bat, but only because he hasn't thought of it yet.

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  21. Penelope--two words: hair ball.

    Make sure you barf up the previous night's dinner while you're at it, and aim for the most expensive piece of furniture or rug you can find.

    Humans can pretend to sleep through the sound of a hairball dump in progress, but actual sleep is impossible.

    And Carla--wish I could take credit, but the Frenchification of our blog name was Merry again.

    And thanks everyone for stopping by over the weekend!

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  22. Haha! I read about that stupid slenderizing lip gloss.

    Sheeeeey-ot.... They must think wes dum dums.

    Haha, keep up the funny stuff!

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