Question: why is it so hard to remember that it's possible to eat a half, or a third, or even one and three-eighths of something? What is so compelling about whole numbers and unitary "serving sizes"--long after the invention of tupperware and aluminum foil and refrigerators that are perfectly capable of saving leftovers?
And sure, sometimes you can't save leftovers, and it seems a shame to "waste" food. But if you've got extra food on your plate that you could eat but you're not all that hungry for, then hell--it's already wasted! That food is not doing any more good sitting in your stomach than in a garbage can.
When Crabby remembers that a piece and a half of whole wheat toast is really the "right" serving size for her at breakfast, she is so much happier. Because while a single piece of bread simply does not yield enough toasty goodness, two slices of toast is more than she needs, given that she eats quite a few other things along with the toast. One and half pieces of toast: a perfect amount.
Yet far too often, Crabby throws two pieces of bread in the toaster anyway. It's as though slicing one in half would be akin to cutting her own skin open. Noooo! Toast comes in pairs, you get to have Two Pieces, it's a Rule!
Same problem with cheeseburgers. Crabby does not eat them frequently, but on the rare occasions when she does, she likes the big fat medium rare restaurant type burger, not a skinny dried-up overcooked fast food patty. But she is not a hyperactive 12 year old anymore. She does not need to eat an entire big-ass restaurant cheeseburger!
So just watch Crabby at a restaurant with her giant cheeseburger sometime, carefully cutting it in half and pushing the unnecessary half to the far side of her plate. What restraint!
The feat would be much more impressive, however, if she'd leave the extra half the f*ck alone. But she doesn't, does she? After she's gobbled up the first half, she'll eye the other half longingly, then decide to slice off just a bit more, and, then... well, you know the rest. She returns to the second half of the burger again and again until the whole thing is gone.
(Of course one of the best reasons to acquire a Significant Other is the ability to split cheeseburgers. Well sure, there's the lifelong companionship and joy and all that stuff, but--built in portion control! Alas, sometimes, one's partner isn't there or is not in the mood to provide cheeseburger portion control assistance, and if Crabby had more sense, she would never, ever, order a cheeseburger in these instances).
The good news is that just as the ability to divide things into fractions can be forgotten or ignored, this ability can also be rediscovered again! This morning, for example, Crabby had a piece and a half of toast and was very pleased with herself, so she knows it's possible.
So if you're forgetful like Crabby, you may want to keep in mind that you do not need to be ruled by "serving sizes"--they're arbitrary. Fractions are your Friends!
Is this a problem anyone else has? Or is Crabby the only one who needs to repeat fourth grade?