August 08, 2007

In Flight Entertainment

Sorry, this is not a real post. But Crabby didn't want to turn the lights off entirely at Cranky Fitness as she makes her way to D.C. for the start of her East Coast adventure.

As it happens, Crabby hates flying, so she will not be enjoying the journey all that much. She'll be counting down the minutes and gripping the armrests tightly in order to keep the plane aloft. (Silly pilots think they fly the planes, but really, it is all the nervous flyers back in the cabin who are doing all the work. If any one of us were to relax for a moment--fooom! However, don't worry, we take our responsibilities seriously. There will be no relaxing).

People sometimes give Crabby advice on how to deal with her "fear of flying." However, she doesn't feel that her fear is the problem. The problem is that every now and then, a plane crashes. That's the problem! Just invent planes that never, ever, ever crash--then Crabby will have no fear of flying. The argument that "well, you're even more likely to get killed during the cab ride to the airport" is, strangely enough, not helpful. It just makes Crabby that much more aware of the fact that the cabbie is driving 30 mph over the speed limit and cutting people off right and left and has permanently disabled the seatbelts.

So here are some totally silly things that made Crabby giggle over the last week or so. Since this is Not Really a Post, she'll just throw them around without worrying whether they're health-related or not.

Remember earlier we were talking about sweet little Oscar, the kitty who would cuddle up to dying nursing home patients, as though somehow he "knew it was time?" Well, via Chicken Girl, Mental Floss has the goods on Oscar. (Note: this is dark and weirdly delicious LOLcat humor, something the Crab was unfamiliar with until recently. She is still somewhat bewildered by it all, but she is nonetheless amused).

And in another Cat related post, Lady Rose over Diet Pulpit has a great diet suggestion--and don't worry, it doesn't involve feasting on felines.

This last link isn't cat related unless one wants to get really crude about anatomical slang expressions. We won't. Note, however: this commercial parody is a bit Raunchy, Juvenile, and is possibly Not Safe for Work depending on how uptight your workplace is. It is also Not New. Many of you may have seen it on TV already, but Crabby hadn't. (And it has the word hygiene in it, so Crabby is counting it as "health related.")

You are now free to move about the blogosphere.


  1. Crabby, you're sick (and hilarious!).

    Have a safe flight.

  2. Gad. Even your not real posts are entertaining.
    Loved the cat diet.
    Have to agree about the ride to the airport reassurance. Why do people think that would make someone feel better? Just provides one more reason to stay home under the covers.
    Anyway, I know you'll be fine. Happy Landing.

  3. Have fun over here in DC! It's disgusting out (high of 100 with terrible humidity), but supposed to cool down by the weekend.

    Hilarious post!!

  4. Enjoy in washington, and get a good flight

  5. Two comments:
    1) How did you manage to start packing yesterday and get it all done so fast??
    2) I'm a pilot, Flying is the second greatest thrill known!!

  6. That's a great diet. Lizard tail is a fine delicacy.

    Karen's advice for your fear of flying: alcohol. A nice glass of wine preflight and another midflight really takes the edge off.

    Have fun in D.C. Tell George I said hello.


  7. Good luck with the shift, Crabby, and I'll be thinking of you winging your way across the country.

    As a flightless bird, I understand your fear of flying. Very occasionally, I forget that my wings are now tiny stumpy appendages and I launch myself off a bank and scare the crap out of myself!

  8. I tried really hard to suppress the laughter...but failed.

    thanks woomba.

  9. This made me laugh. Especially the Miracle Cat Diet. And now I am deathly afraid of Roomba.

  10. As a flight attendant I can give you 1000+ reason why flying is safer than the drive to the airport, but I've seen enough nervous flyers to know that it wouldn't help. So enjoy your flight, as best you can, and have a drink, just not so many they won't let you fly.

  11. Of course this is not a real comment but I'm typing it while nibbling on a light snack, legs firmly crossed, and eyeing the cat.

    You made me laugh.. thanks for that.

  12. Thank you all so much!

    The flight was actually not too bad, though, yikes, it certainly is WARM here.

    I'm rushing off to take care of some things, but I so appreciate all your comments and encouragement. You folks totally crack me up.

    Sorry for the Service Interruptions, but in a few days things should start looking a bit more normal. Not that is is ever quite "normal" here!

    Thanks again!


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